


Convivial

by TheHatterTheory



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: All The Tropes, Alternate Canon, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Holidays, Humor, Poetry, Romance, Slow Build, Snapshots, Time Skips, WAFF, cross-posted on dokuga, no really ALL THE TROPES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-31
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 15:12:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 77
Words: 146,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/444539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHatterTheory/pseuds/TheHatterTheory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Halloween, Kagome decides to dress as her utter opposite. Of course, she never expected to run into him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: Assault, sexist and homophobic language

Who could she be, if she could be anyone? The question posed to her had been rolling around her skull for days, ever since Eri had demanded she go to a Halloween party. Her friend had told her she could be anyone, anything, no matter how strange or sexy or frightening.

The only issue was, she liked being Kagome. Being something else, _someone_ else, was a disagreeable notion after years of working through identity issues concerning herself and her former incarnation, her role in the past and her place in the world as it was after the completion of the jewel. She was -had been- a time traveling miko. The time traveling part was no longer applicable, but the miko part was, in a very loose sense of the term. However, Eri had told her the entire point was to be someone else, something else.

Of course, it also seemed like an excuse for her friend to dress in as little as possible. The other girl had modeled costume after costume until finding a skimpy little maid's outfit that made Kagome blush even as she envied Eri's confidence. And from Eri's declaration, the skimpiness of the outfit was in fact the norm.

The norm was definitely not for her, not that it ever had been. At twenty two, she had just come back to Tokyo to begin the next stage of her schooling and found Eri going to the same college as she was. After working so hard to get into college to begin with, she hadn't indulged in the normal collegiate pursuits, parties, dating, drinking, and concert hopping. And definitely not Halloween. It hadn't even occurred to her that people her age dressed up anymore.

"If I could be anyone," She mused. She couldn't dress as a miko, that was just too easy, and she was a miko, so it would be pointless. But she definitely couldn't dress up in one of the teeny tiny outfits her friend was wearing either.

"I suppose I would want to be my polar opposite."

Which meant a youkai. But how would she impersonate a youkai? Most were so strangely formed that it would take months to pull a proper costume together. Even the more humanoid females had dressed in outfits too elaborate or revealing for her to even consider wearing.

"But," She thought aloud, swirling the straw in her soda. If she was going to be her polar opposite, why not go as a male youkai? After all, the males had almost always worn enough to completely cover themselves, and there had been a wide range of styles to their clothing.

"Inu Yasha?" She asked herself aloud, immediately striking the thought out. No, while she no longer pined for the hanyou, she didn't feel like dressing like him, and if her family somehow saw the costume they would undoubtedly worry that she was still avoiding dating because of her feelings and not because she was busy with school.

Kouga? No, she realized almost as quickly, because his clothing had been on the revealing side. Shippou was also out, because his furred vest would be impossible to make or find, and the idea of wearing something like it made her vaguely uncomfortable. The more she thought, the more she realized that most youkai had worn clothing impossible to reconstruct or so outlandish that she would never feel comfortable wearing it herself, even as just a costume.

"There's always Sesshoumaru's," She joked aloud, and realized that it was one of the few viable options almost as soon as she said it. She tried to picture it in her mind's eye, laughing to herself even as the viability of the idea came together. If she didn't include the armor, it would actually be the most simple costume to make. Finding the base garment would be easy, and all she would have to do is find a way to get the design on it. A wig would be similarly easy, and the facial markings as well. Even finding fake swords would be simple.

"I suppose that's it then," She murmured, looking down into her soda with a smile. It would be the first time she had dressed in a costume since she was fifteen. A strange thrill of excitement shot through her at the thought, and she opened her laptop, eagerly pulling up a search for local clothes vendors.

 

* * *

 

"Kagome, what are you?" Eri asked, her eyes narrowed skeptically. "A kabuki actor?"

"I'm an inu youkai," She said proudly as she closed the makeup case. And she was proud, the entire thing had come off wonderfully. After bungling the first costume with fabric paints, she had scoured the internet for a means to print the fabric and come up with resistance dying, which had been simple after the first three failures. Her kimono matched the daiyoukai's perfectly, as well as the sash wrapped around her waist. Everything else had been child's play, from the swords to the boots. Even her make up was perfect, and she had purchased a size too small sports bra to flatten her chest. She wasn't as tall or fair, but she very definitely didn't look like herself. More than once she'd had to stop doing her make up to laugh, knowing the real Sesshoumaru was probably spinning in his grave.

The costume had the effect of making her feel-Confident, maybe? Relaxed, at least. She wasn't Kagome, and had none of Kagome's worries for the night.

"You look like a boy," Eri accused.

"I know, that was the point," She laughed as she tucked her cell phone into the discreet pocket in her kimono sleeve. "I wanted to be the opposite of what I was."

"You're going to get hit on by girls," Eri whined.

"We can just pretend I'm your date," She suggested with a grin as she closed the door to her apartment behind her.

"No," The other woman said firmly. "I fully intend to go home with a stranger tonight. After all, I'd never do it in real life, so it fits."

Kagome wasn't sure if that was the point of Halloween, but she didn't gainsay her friend as they rode the elevator downstairs. Eri's car was a pile of junk, but it ran, and she was the only one between them that had her license, much less a car. Kagome got in, pulling her swords onto her lap and staring forward.

"Why couldn't you have chosen something a little more-" Eri began as she started the car and pulled out of the parking garage.

"Normal?" Kagome supplied.

"Sexy," The other female deadpanned.

"Because it's Halloween," Kagome intoned, affecting what she remembered of Sesshoumaru's narcissism. "I'm supposed to be the opposite of what I am all year."

"Oh you are so full of it," Her friend laughed, beginning to smile for the first time since she had seen her. The gauntlet thrown, their teasing began in earnest, each one poking at the other mercilessly.

When they arrived at the apartment building where the party was being held, Kagome looked up at it in awe. The building was obviously for the rich, it's sleek design nothing at all like her own rather small building.

"The party's here?"

"Jigen's the one throwing it, and his parents got him a place here when he turned eighteen," Eri informed her as they walked inside.

"Must be nice to be so rich," Kagome muttered, feeling slightly inadequate in the face of such obvious wealth.

"He's a jerk, but everyone off campus is coming since he's got an open bar and a live dj."

The elevator ride up was almost excruciatingly long, and when they got out, there was only one door on the floor. Music thumped and bumped, vibrating through the floor and making her feet tingle through the leather soles of her boots.

"You ready?" Eri asked, beaming over at her.

"Of course, come on!" Kagome laughed as she walked ahead of the scantily clad maid and knocked on the door. No one answered, so she tried the knob and it swung open, revealing a very large condo that easily took up two floors. She hadn't even known there were such palatial homes in the city.

And everywhere she looked there were people in costumes talking and drinking. Catgirls and maids, punks and vampires, prisoners and movie stars of bygone eras. Gangsters lounged with plastic cups in their hands while a toga swathed group of people drank from cups she presumed they had brought, big plastic goblets covered in equally plastic jewels. At least she hoped they were plastic.

"Come on, let's get a drink and mingle," Eri urged her, trying to make herself heard over the music.

"I thought you were driving us home," She protested.

"We won't be leaving for hours yet, and by then one drink will have worn off," The other girl reasoned. "Come on, this is the first party you've come to all year. Relax, meet people."

Apparently 'relax, meet people' was code for abandon ship, because Eri pulled away from her in that exact moment while squealing some other girl's name at the top of her lungs. Holding in a frustrated snarl, she walked over to the bar and waited for the bartender to notice her. Within minutes a female in a glittering leotard came over, the color of the costume itself lost in the myriad flashing lights.

"Well?" She huffed impatiently.

"Surprise me," Kagome told her, shouting to be heard over the music. The bartender's eyes widened at the feminine voice coming from the 'male' and she blinked slowly, then turned behind her and pulled several bottles and began pouring.

"I've never seen you here before," A voice said next to her. "Nice costume by the way."

She turned and saw a man wearing a dark suit and shades staring at her over the top of the tinted lenses.

"It's my first time here," She admitted. "Thanks, you too."

"So what are you supposed to be?"

She didn't answer immediately, as a plastic cup was shoved in front of her. She thanked the bartender and looked back to him. He was staring down at her looking vaguely impressed.

"I'm a youkai," She finally told him.

"A cross dressing youkai. I like it," He laughed, and the sound put her off for some strange reason. Chalking it up to the slight slur -and she couldn't blame him, because everybody seemed to be drinking- she mumbled a shy thanks.

"And you are?" She asked.

"An assassin."

She wondered if she should give him points for originality, or take them away for lack of trying.

"So what's your major?"

"Classic literature."

"A lit major?"

"Yeah. You?"

And then it started, and she realized her error. Apparently he had only asked her what her major was so he could launch into a lengthy explanation of his own, his chest puffing up with it's own self importance. Within minutes she not only knew his major, but his intended career, his obsession with american musicians, and his overwhelming love of self.

After thirty minutes, she was beyond trying to figure out how to politely extract herself, and was considering drastic measures. Like forcing herself to vomit. It wouldn't take much, she was already dangerously nauseated from the sickeningly sweet way he referred to himself and his passions. It was narcissism in the extreme, made all the worse by how much he'd imbibed.

Just as she was about to flee, thinking he wouldn't notice until she was long gone, he pitched forward, the people behind them shouting and cheering. He flailed and grabbed for support, his hand clamping on her shoulder and his lips moving saying something she couldn't make out. However, her sharp cry of dismay was heard over the music as his drink, something foul smelling and colorful, spilled down the front of her kimono and hakama. She couldn't be sure because of the multicolored lighting in the room, but she was almost positive it was blue.

"Please excuse me," She muttered, not even caring if he could hear. Looking around, she made for the stairs and climbed up past the other costumed students, ignoring their angry curses as she stumbled against them in her haste. Hoping she would get lucky, she opened the first door and almost slammed it shut, but something caught her attention.

It was Eri's face. Her eyes were closed and she was obviously enjoying herself. So much so that she didn't notice her best friend staring at her.

Mortified, she slammed the door shut before her friend could see her and rushed to the next door, knocking on it loudly before opening it. It was sheer luck that it was not only the bathroom, but it was also empty. She'd expected a line. It was with a sense of trepidation that she approached the sink.

In normal lighting, she could see that the drink, whatever it was, was going to permanently stain the outfit she had worked so hard on. A bright blue stain ran all the way down the front of the kimono, right over her left breast and down the kimono, standing out in vivid contrast.

"That's what I get for wearing white," She muttered angrily, dabbing at the silk. "How did he keep his clothes so clean back then? It must have been a nightmare!"

The door behind her opened, and she looked up to tell the person she'd only be a moment when she caught the 'assassin's' eyes in the mirror.

"Hey," He slurred.

"I'm sorry, I'll be out in a minute."

"No need," He cajoled, his tone coming out like syrup, too sweet by half. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, warning shivering through her. Despite six years having passed, she recognized that tone, remembered how terrified she'd been when she'd heard it. "I've never done it in a bathroom before."

"Done what?" She tried, searching for an easy way around him.

"You know. It'll be wild," He told her, coming closer.

"This is really _not_ going to happen," She told him, trying to slip past him.

"Don't play so hard to get. You've been checking me out all night," He told her, reaching for her hand. She moved just out of distance and slipped out the door, slamming it closed behind her.

Not even thinking about Eri, she rushed down the stairs and pushed through the crowd of dancers that had amassed in every open spot of the floor. Rude expletives were shouted behind her as she struggled to get to the door. The room felt too small, and at some point people had started smoking. The air was thick and her lungs struggled to drag in air, but the sweat tinged, humid gasps she inhaled did nothing to ease the constricting dizziness of adrenaline. When she finally made it to the door, she flung herself outside and slammed it shut.

"A bus. Eri will understand," She told herself as she made for the elevator. People were just getting out and she asked them to hold it, grateful to be taking it down alone. The doors were almost fully closed when a hand stuck itself between them, making them open again.

The assassin smiled at her as he stepped in. She decided then and there that the lighting at the party had been very kind, because his smile was absolutely loathsome, and reminded her too much of Naraku's self-satisfied smirk. His hand went to the button panel and with a quick glance, he hit the metal circle that closed the doors behind him.

"I've always wanted to try fucking in an elevator," He declared, swooping down to kiss her. The elevator began it's descent to the lobby, and she moved to the corner on the other side. He followed.

"Stop playing, I'm serious," He laughed, as if the entire situation was amusing.

"No, I don't want to have sex with you," She snapped, wondering how he could take her fleeing as 'playing'.

"Oh come on now, you've been flirting with me all night."

"No, stop."

His hands began roaming over her sides, and his mouth missed hers entirely, ending with her cheek covered in his alcohol ridden saliva.

"I said no!" She shouted, pushing him back. He stumbled, balance off from drink, and she pulled one of the wooden swords free from her sash.

"Stay away," She threatened, waving the sword in his face as he tried to approach. He darted forward, and she brought the tip up into his face, striking it squarely in the center. Blood spurted from his nose. Obviously deeper in his cups than she had initially thought, he touched the broken cartilage and then glared at her.

"You stupid bitch!"

She swung the sword wildly in the small space, pushing him into the back corner and keeping him there. Doing her best imitation of Inu Yasha in full youkai mode, she snarled and kept her movements unpredictable and wild. The sound of wood hitting the metal walls dinged and echoed in the tiny space, harsh to her ears.

"When a woman says no it means no!" She finished shouting as the doors dinged open. She walked out still facing him, sword held threateningly in her hands as she drug in deep lungfuls of air, each one better than the last as she put space between herself and her drunken attacker.

"Fucking tease!" He shouted as the doors began to slide closed. When they shut, she turned and saw a stricken looking gentleman in a business suit looking at her as if she had escaped from an insane asylum.

"Umm, you'll probably want to take the stairs," She muttered, skirting around him and heading for the doors. The minute he was behind her she began running, feeling free the minute she was outside in the cool night air.

"It's too late for a bus," She groaned, realizing the time. Not anticipating having to shell out money for a cab, she tucked the sword into her sash and reached into her shirtsleeve, feeling for the pocket sewn into the billowing fabric. When she found it, there was no tell tale bump that marked her cell phone.

With a sinking feeling, she looked on the inside of the sleeve and then dropped it. An angry scream rent the air, making itself heard over the cars rushing past her.

"Oh come on! Is Sesshoumaru punishing me from beyond the grave for dressing like him?" She shouted at the sky. "I know I'm just a human, but it's Halloween. Kami, this is such utter-"

"Would you like a ride?" A voice asked behind her. She turned and looked at the owner of said voice, the businessman she had unknowingly denied elevator access to.

"Please don't take this personally, but some guy just tried to assault me. Testing my luck by riding with a stranger just seems like a really bad idea right now," She told him, readying herself for a long walk and hoping she would find a taxi on the way.

"I would be more difficult to swing a fake Bakusaiga around in a car," He remarked in a dry voice.

"It really wou- _What_?"

He said nothing in response to her question, and for a minute she wondered if -in some sort of adrenaline fueled delirium- she'd imagined him saying 'Bakusaiga'.

"Your sword," He finally said.

"I know. You called it Bakusaiga," She accused, earning a derisive snort from the man.

"I called it a fake. An imitation."

"How do you know what it's modeled after at all?" She screeched, pulling it out and pointing it at him, all the while praying it wasn't some enemy from the feudal era in her time. In spite of the wood being woefully inadequate to deal with such an enemy, it made her feel slightly better, even if she did look crazy.

"Because your costume, such as it is, is modeled after me, _miko_ ," He gloated. "I will take your imitation as the flattery it is, and provide you with a ride home."

"You-" She sputtered indignantly, too angry to be confused. "Sesshoumaru."

"Yes, it is me," He told her smugly.

"You are still a vain egomaniac," She snapped, too frustrated to care that she had just insulted someone offering to help her.

"You are still a loud little woman. And you reek of alcohol. Are you drunk?"

"Am I- _N_ _o_! That jerk spilled his stupid drink all over me and then tried to make out with me! I drank maybe three sips from whatever I had."

"There's blood on you," He informed her, changing the topic completely.

"So? It's not like it ever bothered you before."

"Come with me," He commanded, turning back to the building.

Because the night could not get any stranger than it already was, she decided to follow. After all, if he was going to kill her, he would have done it. At least she thought he would have. Somehow she couldn't imagine him trying to kill her after offering her a ride home. He pushed the elevator button for up, and when it finally arrived, it was loaded down with drunken revelers.

She noticed the undisguised loathing in his eyes as the drunken college students stumbled out into the lobby singing a song at the top of their lungs, horribly off key when they managed to remember the lyrics at all.

"I take it that brat Jigen is hosting the event?" He sighed as they stepped in. She noticed blood still dotted the floor, and had smeared in places.

"Yeah. I take it you don't like him?"

"He is an annoyance," He intoned as he pushed the button for the top floor.

"I can understand."

"And what of the male seeking your attentions?"

"I have no idea who he is, I couldn't hear his name. I do know he loves himself more than-" Here she stopped, because the next word that had been about to escape was 'you' and she had a feeling he was going out of his way to be nice to her, for whatever reason.

"So?" She asked, looking at the numbers over the doors slowly begin to escalate.

He said nothing.

"What have you been doing for the last five hundred years?"

"This and that," He replied enigmatically, a smirk gracing his features. "And yourself?"

"I haven't been around that long," She quipped. "I got back about six years ago. I'm working on my degree in classical literature."

"Any particular culture?"

"Japan's."

"You would be able to understand it better than most," He said with a chuckle. The doors dinged open and she followed him out and to the innocent looking door only a few feet away. Suddenly she wondered how he lived. Did he have a family? Or did he live alone? Would Jaken still be around?

"Ever curious," He mumbled as he slipped a key into the lock and opened the door for her, gesturing for her to step in. Feeling timid, she took a hesitant step over the threshold, looking around the apartment, if it could even be considered that. Even bigger than Jigen's, it's outer walls were made entirely of glass and steel, giving a breathtaking view of the night sky above and the city that poorly imitated it below.

"It's amazing," She breathed, walking over to the glass and completely oblivious to his smile. "You can actually see the stars up here."

"I designed it that way," He told her.

"You designed this?" She broke her gaze on the sprawl of Tokyo and turned back to him.

"Hn. I am an architect in this life," He said with a genuine smile, further throwing her. Sesshoumaru was smiling, a nice smile, and it scared her just as much as his smirks from the past.

"This life?"

"I have had many lives, many occupations. It helps to pass the time."

Feeling even more off balance than she had ten minutes ago when he had first declared himself to her, she tried to figure out what had changed, and came up with 'everything'. Even his appearance had changed, the opposite of what she remembered.

"Are you still, you know?" She tried.

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

"Do you look like this still?" She asked, gesturing to herself. "Or have you dyed your hair and-"

He stopped her by removing a bracelet, and his whole image flickered and blinked like static before settling as his former self, albeit with shorter hair and a business suit. Feeling slightly more at ease now that he at least looked like the daiyoukai she remembered, she nodded once, unsure of what to say next.

"Follow me," He commanded, taking charge of the situation. She did, marveling in the strangeness of her surroundings and the man -youkai, she reminded herself- sharing them with her. They walked up a flight of spiraling stairs and he showed her to a door.

"This is the guest bathroom. I will find you a change of clothes."

His tone left no room for argument, even though she wanted to. Stopping herself, she tried to tell herself that if she saw someone dressed in a mockup of her former life, she wouldn't be exceptionally pleased either. Nodding once, she stepped in and closed the door gently behind her.

The bathroom was as lush and expansive as the rest of the house, and so unlike her own that it was akin to stepping into a fairy tale. There was a standing shower and a huge jacuzzi bathtub, and the towel rack was also a towel warmer. With a sense of utter indulgence, she switched it on and turned to the shower.

First she slipped off her outer kimono, folding it carefully despite the stain. Hoping she could bleach the blue mess out, she followed it with her socks, then her under kimono. Then, with some difficulty she took off the size too small sports bra, breathing easily now that her breasts were not flattened against her chest. She untied the knots of the hakama and finished stripping, folding the last of her garments and setting them on the pile.

The marbleized glass doors to the shower opened and she gasped in delight. There were several shower heads, four on the ceiling of the shower to rain directly down, one on the top of each wall, and beneath those, set at about the height of her belly button.

Bottles of obviously expensive soaps and shampoos lined a small shelf built into the shower wall.

She turned one of the knobs experimentally. Warm water began to rain down from the ceiling. The second knob had the ones at the top spouting out water. Ignoring the last knob, she stepped in and immediately relaxed.

"I wonder if he designed this room," She murmured as she picked up a random bottle of shampoo and opened it. Strangely lacking scent, she poured some in her palm and put the bottle back before beginning to lather her hair.

Steam clouded the shower, and she lost herself in the impromptu pampering she was receiving. Despite the lack of scent to the conditioner and soap, she still felt like a princess as she cleaned herself, shedding the smell of alcohol and the feel of her would be attacker.

When she finally turned the knobs to off, she felt more like herself again. Steam billowed out of the stall when she opened the door, and she reached blindly for a towel. When she found it, it was warm to the touch and soft enough to sleep in.

Enjoying the sensual delight of the soft cotton on her skin, she rubbed small circles dry all over her body, then moved to her hair. When she finished, she looked around, wondering if there was a robe somewhere for her, or if she would have to poke her head outside the door. Surely he would have heard the shower end, and would be ready with some clothes.

But he was a disconcerting two steps ahead of her. On the counter where her costume had been folded neatly were a set of blue silk pajama pants with a drawstring waist and a clean white shirt. Wondering when he'd been able to sneak in, she pulled the pants on, tying them tightly. They were far too long on her, and very baggy. With a start, she realized they must be his. Sesshoumaru wore pajamas. There was something distinctly bizarre about that realization, as peculiar as the sight of him in a business suit. The shirt followed, once again too long and baggy, but comfortable and soft. In fact, the entire ensemble felt ridiculously decadent for being pajamas.

Hanging the towel over the bar, she turned the towel heater off and stepped out of the bathroom, wondering where the daiyoukai had gotten off to.

"I'm downstairs," A voice called, as if reading her thoughts.

'He's a youkai, he heard the door open,' She mentally berated. Walking down the stairs, she looked around the huge expanse of the first floor of his home and saw movement in the corner of her eye. Turning to it, she realized he was in the kitchen.

Walking over, she marveled again at the open area. There were no walls, merely open space with counters to mark the kitchen itself off from the other areas.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" He offered, pouring a glass.

"Yes, please," She murmured, afraid to refuse.

He filled the matching glass next to it and handed it to her after setting the bottle down. The rich red color in the glass reminded her of his markings in the dim light.

"It is one minute to midnight," He observed.

"To Halloween," She laughed, raising her glass. He raised his own in salute before taking a sip. She followed him once again into the main seating area, or living room. Several comfortable couches made a square and she sat on the one closest to the windows, sitting sideways and tucking her feet beneath her form.

"Thank you," She finally said, breaking the silence. "You didn't have to help me like this."

"On the contrary," He rebutted thoughtfully, swirling the wine in his glass as he stared into it. "Despite your absence all of these years, you are still part of the pack. Pack takes care of it's own."

"I am?" She gasped, almost dropping her glass.

"You were a part of Inu Yasha's pack, and therefore my own, as I am patriarch."

"Inu Yasha is still alive?" She bleated, flinching when he smirked at her.

"Hnn. He lives in America."

That made more sense than she cared to contemplate. Inu Yasha, if he hadn't changed as drastically as Sesshoumaru had, would fit in in America.

"Which means you are under my care."

"Oh." Because that wasn't _at all_ strange to contemplate. So strange in fact, that she accepted it. Otherwise she was sure she might honestly lose what little remained of her composure. "Did anyone else make it to this time?" She asked him quietly.

"Shippou lives in this building, two floors below this one actually. He's currently in Europe for a gallery opening."

"This is so weird," She finally mumbled before taking a healthy swallow of her wine. "My life. Of course."

"Imagine how strange it is to see a human female dressed as you were centuries ago, shouting your name at the sky," He chuckled. Kagome gaped, knew she looked stupid but for the life of her couldn't stop. Sesshoumaru was chuckling. Even if it was at her expense, it was being followed by a threat. It challenged almost every memory she had of the daiyoukai.

"I think it can be excused after having to deal with that-That asshole," She quipped smartly, though far too late to sound anything but petulant. She punctuated it by draining her glass in a single gulp. He rose and walked over to the kitchen, bringing the bottle back with him.

"He will not do such again," Sesshoumaru promised as he poured more of the dark crimson liquid into her offered glass.

"What did you do?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"I merely informed him that in the event of another such attempt, his arms would have no chance of healing, as I'd rip them off."

"Healing?"

"He will not be able to use them for some time," He intoned flatly, although she would swear there was a trace of a smile on his lips.

"You-"

"Fulfilled my duties and right as patriarch. Any male willing to treat a woman as such should be informed of the consequences that follow."

Quickly she reevaluated her opinion of the daiyoukai. He might have dressed in modern clothing and unbent enough to smile and laugh, but he was still obviously violent, and very much the lord of those he considered his.

And somehow, by some screwed up twist of fate -and such twists in her fate were always a bit screwy- she was one of his now.

"So tell me about the pack," She asked, wanting to shy away from the uncomfortable thought that her life was irrevocably someone else's interest and possibly -in his eyes at least- responsibility.

"Inu Yasha is mated to an American youkai, although they do not call themselves that. One of those that was revered by their natives. As a representative for her lands, she could not leave, so he moved to be with her. They have three pups, all of which are still in childhood."

He paused there, as if awaiting some sort of reaction. She shrugged and smiled.

"I'm glad he found someone to be with and start a family with."

"I am aware there is a history-" He began.

"And it's just that, history. I was sixteen when the well sealed itself. I couldn't moon over my teenage crush forever," She laughed. He seemed to approve of her statement, nodding once.

"Shippou is an artist, and enjoys world recognition as a painter and sculptor. For years he has been pursuing the last thunder tribe female, and she leads him on a merry chase. I expect them to announce their intent to mate soon."

"Souten?" She gasped.

"That is her name," He agreed, moving to refill his glass. Kagome burst into laughter, remembering the angry little girl that had challenged Shippou to a duel.

"You find the pair amusing?"

"They met when she challenged him to a duel to the death," She giggled, brushing a tear from her eye. "It ended in a duel over crayons."

"I was not aware," He said with a smile. "It makes sense then, this strange courtship of theirs. I had begun to wonder if the kit was a glutton for punishment."

"No, that one was probably destined from the moment they met," She giggled, slightly tipsy after finishing the second glass of wine. "Youkai don't ever seem to do things in the normal fashion."

"Meaning?" He asked with a raised brow as he moved to pour the last of the bottle into it.

"Just, like Inu Yasha and Kikyo, they attacked each other at first, and Souten and Shippou-" She laughed.

"Inu Yasha and Tala did hate one another on sight," He mused, leaning back into the sofa. "I suppose it might be true that youkai do not follow the pattern of human courtships."

"Probably for the best," She sighed, tipping the glass back.

"Perhaps you will indulge me," He started, looking at her now empty glass. "Why dress as me, as a youkai at all, for a costume party?"

"Eri said that Halloween is about being anyone you want to be. After everything with Kikyo, I liked being me, like being me," She answered honestly. "So I figured I might as well try and be my complete opposite."

"Even cross dressing?"

"Well yeah. It could have been fun if-" She paused and shook her head. "I guess it worked out for the best though. I'm kind of sad the jerk ruined it with that stupid drink."

"True," He sighed. "How did you recreate the designs?"

"I tried using the normal fabric paints first and it was a disaster," She recalled with a smile. "And then I did some research. Resistance dying seemed easier, and after a couple of false starts I got something that looked like your old kimono."

"It is an almost perfect replica," He admitted, looking impressed. "I was surprised when I looked at the details."

"Thank you. So, what have you been, in your different lives? I'm trying to figure out how you came to be an architect."

He spoke of how he had not stopped being the lord of the west, although the title had changed and he had become Daiyoukai of Japan, and it's representative on the council, something he did not further explain, though she was curious. She listened as he talked about becoming a businessman, an engineer, a silk baron, a martial arts teacher, and finally an architect. His mellow, smooth voice mixed with the wine in her system, creating a cocoon of safety in the wake of her attack. Unable to help herself, she slipped further down the couch until her eyes closed and she slept.


	2. All Saint's Day

When she awoke the next morning, it was to a solid warmth at her back, and she turned over, surprised to see two bright red eyes blinking open.

"Kirara?" She whispered as the two tailed cat got up and stretched with a purr. Immediately she hugged the cat to her chest and rubbed her cheek against the soft tan and black fur. Kirara purred loudly, rubbing her head back and forth. Nostalgia hit, bringing the salt sting of tears. Kirara, but not Sango or Miroku. She'd known the humans would never make it to her time, but Kirara was a solid reminder of the people she'd lost. Kirara made a plaintive noise, as if sensing, and understanding, her grief.

"I miss them too," She murmured, allowing herself a moment to remember the loss.

"I see you two have not forgotten one another," A voice observed from the doorway, breaking through her reverie. She looked up to see Sesshoumaru standing there, framed by the sunlight pouring in from the windows of the far wall.

"How-"

"She stays with the kit. While he is away I take care of her. I thought perhaps you would like to see her again and brought her here."

"Thanks," She murmured, still holding the purring firecat to her chest. "This is really amazing, all of it."

"The kit has been informed of your presence. The opening is tonight, and he will be flying back after."

"Thank you!" She whispered, her throat tightening around the words. Kirara squirmed in her arms, and it was only then that she realized she'd squeezed too tight.

"I have taken the liberty of purchasing you some clothing, I doubt you want to leave wearing your costume or pajamas," He told her. "They are on the dresser, along with your cellphone. It was at the desk, it seems someone found it in the elevator."

"Sesshoumaru-" She began, pausing. He inclined his head once, asking her to continue.

"Thank you. I can't even begin to-"

"I am the patriarch," He reminded her. "You are pack. It is natural."

And like that he was out of the room, and she found she had absolutely nothing to say to that. The mere idea of him doing so much for her just because she was pack was so beyond her comprehension that her mind simply blanked. Accept or go crazy. If she treated it like a dream, maybe-Maybe the illusion would continue. Maybe it would turn out to be real.

Kirara jumped from her arms and onto the dresser several feet away, nosing at the clothing with one of her strange little mewls.

"Alright, I get it," Kagome laughed. She walked over to the dresser and looked at the neat little stacks of clothes. Trying not to be uncomfortable with the idea of Sesshoumaru purchasing her underwear, she slipped on the panties and then tried on the bra, finding it too tight to be comfortable.

"Maybe he used the sports bra as a template," She muttered, having to discard it. Next came her jeans and then a shirt, which thankfully fit. Feeling better about being covered, she shrugged on the heavenly soft sweater that felt almost like silk on her bare arms. The socks were equally soft, and she wondered if they had been hand knit. Kirara mewled her approval and jumped into her arms, butting her head against her chin with a happy, rumbling purr.

"Let's see what's next," Kagome whispered. "If one of Sango and Miroku's descendants shows up, I get to faint in a dead shock though, you've been warned," She joked as she walked out of the room, only to pause at the sight of the morning sun hanging over the city. The view truly was stunning, even if it was of the city. From so high up, there were few other buildings that interfered, and the city itself seemed so small.

"I bet sunsets are amazing," She breathed as she began to walk down the stairs. "And sunrises."

Kirara mewled her agreement, jumping from her arms when they reached the bottom. Kagome hoped that Shippou's apartment might be similar, so that Kirara had plenty of places to curl up in the sun and nap. It seemed like a fitting retirement, given everything she'd gone through.

"I've made breakfast," Sesshoumaru said from somewhere behind her. She turned and saw him sitting near the back side of the apartment, next to the windows facing away from the sun. A long table the could easily sit a dozen people had only two plates on it, and two carafes. A morning paper sat folded at his elbow as he waited, obviously for her.

"Thank you," She said as she sat, noticing it was to his right. The plate waiting for her steamed, filled with eggs and bacon, as well as toast. Her stomach rumbled hungrily in response to the heavenly smells wafting up from the plate.

"There's orange juice and coffee," He told her, picking up his fork. "I wasn't sure which you would prefer."

"Coffee," She answered. He handed her one of the carafes and they began their meal in silence. From time to time she glanced at him, still amazed to see him eating at a western style table with a fork, in a simple dress shirt and probably slacks, though she hadn't looked. Twenty first century Sesshoumaru was a juxtaposition of mundane and fantastical, his white hair and markings making it difficult to reconcile one with the other.

Kirara bounded onto the table and mewled, demanding attention. Thankful for the distraction from her own thoughts, she handed the small cat a piece of bacon, watching as she took it and began nibbling almost daintily.

"The kit does the same when he takes breakfast here," Sesshoumaru told her, voice rumbling with quiet laughter.

"And you don't?" Kagome asked archly, seeing the smile in his eyes. Surely something had happened to change him, and though five hundred years had passed, she wasn't entirely sure time was the only explanation. He was-Softer, somehow. Maybe even kind.

"I do," He admitted.

"It's a wonder you haven't gotten fat," She said with a look to Kirara, who had the dignity to appear mildly offended by such an accusation.

"She is youkai, bacon will not make her fat," He chuckled before finishing his coffee off.

"Lucky girl," Kagome muttered in a dry voice, going back to her own eggs and finishing them off quickly.

"Listen Sesshoumaru, I hate to go, but I have a test tomorrow, and I have to study-" She started, hesitant to leave, but unsure of her welcome now that morning had come.

"I will drive you home," He said, once again taking command of the situation.

"Oh, that's not-"

"I or the kit will have to pick you up when he arrives, unless you own a car."

She shook her head no, words failing.

"Give me a moment to clean."

"No, let me. You've done so much already. I feel sort of useless," She rebutted, already picking up his empty plate and mug. He said nothing, watching her as she carried their dishes to the kitchen and washing them off before placing them in his dishwasher. He was equally silent when they slipped on their shoes and left the apartment, Kirara mewling a goodbye before bounding over to a window and laying down, obviously ready to enjoy the warmth of the sun. With a pang of regret, she noticed he had slipped the bracelet back on while she had been cleaning their dishes.

They rode down to the sub levels where the garage was, and walked over to a group of beautiful cars, each one more impressive than the last.

"The green ones belong to Shippou," He told her, obviously noticing her gawking.

There were only green and silver cars. Which meant the two sleek silver cars were his own. He chose the sports car instead of the sensible looking sedan, and she slipped into the seat, surprised when she noticed there were only two.

"Where do you live?" He asked.

She rattled off an address, which he typed into a gps built into the console. It parroted off directions as he pulled out, and she found her fingers digging into the seat as he maneuvered the car with an ease born of years of practice.

"Fast," She murmured, holding even more tightly to the seat. He had the grace to laugh, but also the impudence -at least she thought so- to speed up. Briefly she wondered why he even used the gps, seeing as how the machine could barely keep up with his speed, giving commands to turn right before he missed the turn itself.

"I remember you clinging to Inu Yasha and even my pelt, and my driving frightens you?" He asked.

"We were in the air," She muttered, sinking down into the seat. "There weren't other cars up there with us."

Shockingly enough, he slowed down, matching pace with other cars around them.

"Thanks," She breathed, releasing her deathgrip on the leather seat beneath her. "My dad died in a car accident."

"I didn't know. You have my apologies," He intoned, and she was even more stunned to hear that he sounded sorry, as if he had done it on purpose. Considering their past together, she was having trouble understanding, and felt a little sorry for making him feel that way.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know. Besides, if other cars weren't around, it wouldn't scare me. Although I prefer flying," She admitted with a wistful smile. "It's probably one of the things I miss most about then."

"I understand."

She realized he must miss it too.

"It's this building," She said, pointing right before the gps told him to turn.

"You live here?" He asked, looking at the building as they pulled into it's parking garage.

"I'm a student living on student loans," She laughed. "The shrine is nice, but it's hard to study with my teenage brother bringing his friends over for band practice."

He continued to look nonplussed as he parked and followed her to the elevator. Unlike the machine in his building, hers was slow, smelled funny, and creaked ominously. Feeling slightly self conscious at his perusal of it, she tried to fight back a blush at it took her to the sixth floor and they stepped out. Never before had she felt embarrassed about where she lived, considering it was a good neighborhood and a decent building. But his eyes hardened when she opened her door.

"It's very small," He finally said, looking around the interior.

"Student," She muttered, wondering why he had even followed her up to her apartment. She had been proud to be on her own, an mature adult. Now she just felt foolish for being so proud of herself.

"Patriarch," He rumbled in return, noting her petulance.

"Meaning?" She snapped, wondering where the old daiyoukai had suddenly come from, and where the one she had met the night before and spent the morning with had gone.

"Pack is taken care of. You will be moving."

"What?" She started. "I can't just move because you say so!" Her protest grew louder with every word, pitched with disbelief.

"You will. There is an empty suite in my building, below mine. It was Inu Yasha's before he left. Now it will be yours."

"I couldn't-" She stopped when he made a disapproving noise, something very akin to a growl.

"It is appropriate."

"I can't," She breathed, feeling very small and hating it. Squaring her shoulders and straightening her back, she faced the daiyoukai head on. "I don't need to be taken care of. I'm fine on my own."

He looked ready to punch through the ceiling and every one above it to fly away. Or to simply turn on his heels and leave.

"Miko-"

"My name is Kagome," She snapped. "How do you expect me to listen to you when you can't even remember my name?"

"Kagome. You are pack. Has it occurred to you that once recognized as pack, as the patriarch and caretaker, I would feel the need to help you?"

Feeling had never even entered her mind. In fact, he had just sounded like the same bossy daiyoukai from five hundred years in the past.

"But-"

"And that pack lives together if possible?"

"But-"

"The kit will appreciate having you closer."

Oh, she knew that was a low blow, and possibly his last resort. Using Shippou like that was beyond manipulative. Worse yet, it was working.

"But those places are so big," She mumbled helplessly, the idea of living in the huge, echoing apartment by herself already beginning to stretch out before her.

"I designed them that way."

"But it'll be lonely."

He stopped, tilting his head just a bit.

"You live alone now," He pointed out. "I smell no other constants besides you."

"It's not that," She sighed, moving over to her old, overstuffed couch. "This is small, homey. A big place like that just for myself would be too much."

He joined her, sitting in the chair across from her and considering her quietly.

"I have several rooms in my home," He said at last.

"Oh, oh no, no, no, _no_. I can't-"

"The kit is currently pursuing a female that will most likely be living with him soon, and it would be-" He paused, looking for a word. "Uncomfortable for all involved if his mother, as he sees you, is living with him when they decide to mate."

She hadn't even considered living with Shippou, although if given the time, she knew she would have suggested it.

"Kagome, understand. Finding you means finding a pack member we thought lost. Inu Yasha had no hopes of finding you. He tried, as did the kit. He only knew your name and that you lived on a shrine, not much to go on. I even made attempts on their behalf. First, it is my duty to take care of you, one I do not begrudge you in the least. Second, if I didn't do this, my brother would never let me hear the end of it. And third-" He paused for dramatic affect, at least she assumed that was it.

"Third?"

"The kit would make you."

"Shippou-"

"Is pack, and believes in pack. If you didn't move to the building, he would move here. Do you think he would let you out of his sight after finally finding you?"

She wondered if that meant Sesshoumaru would follow, the three of them living in the tiny apartments offered.

"Fine," She groaned. "You win. I'll move."

"And I will be taking over your tuition."

"What?" She screeched.

"I hope we do not have this conversation every time you learn something new," He sighed, and this time he really did pinch the bridge of his nose.

"But-but,"

"Pack. Patriarch. If you accept it, it will go easier."

"But-"

"Patriarch is another word for alpha."

"Sesshoumaru, this is-"

"Say thank you."

"Thank you," She breathed, eyes tearing. "I know I'm not being very gracious, it's just-"

"It is a lot to take in. But understand, this is as natural to us as it is unnatural to you."

That was even stranger than she could imagine. Since when was taking care of anyone natural for Sesshoumaru?

"I have no idea what's going on anymore," She groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I keep expecting to wake up because even when I imagined running into someone, it wasn't like this."

"It will come with time," He assured, and she looked over to him, who looked so out of place in her little apartment, who was so different than the youkai she had known.

"I can take the empty apartment. I don't want to disturb you."

"It's alright," He assured her.

"But what if-"

"I have not sought a mate, and have no intentions of doing so. Should you find someone suiting you, we can move you into the apartment below."

"Thank you," She admitted, relieved. Even if he was quiet, he would be company. The idea of having such a huge home to herself was beyond daunting, it bordered on mind numbing. And creepy. She knew it would take one thunderstorm to scare her below her covers while calling for police.

"So when do I move?"

"If you gather your school things and some clothing, today. The rest will be simple enough to organize."

She supposed she should be thankful that she had so little, and that she still had all of the boxes from moving before.

"I don't think it will fit in your car."

"It does have a trunk."

Probably not much of one, she mused sourly, but walked back to her room anyway. As a student living from loan check to loan check, she didn't have much clothing. In fact, all of it fit into the three pieces of luggage she had purchased over time, a mismatched set. By the time she had finished, she realized how small her life was. Her room itself was almost empty. Nothing but a futon, two pillows, and her little dresser. On top were photos of her friends she had taken, and needing to bring those if nothing else, she pulled a box out of her closet and took the newspapers out and began wrapping them.

When she came back out, she sat the box on the table first, then went back for the luggage. He said nothing as she brought each piece out, until she had the third suitcase out and looked at him expectantly.

"Gotten weak in your old age?" She asked with a raised brow.

"That's it?" He asked, startled.

"Poor student," She reiterated. He nodded once and stood, gliding over to the luggage.

"Your school books?"

"In my bag with my laptop."

He carried all three suitcases as if they were nothing. She supposed they weren't, although they had to have been awkward. Reflecting on her choice of words, she supposed she shouldn't have mentioned his age.

* * *

When she finished studying that evening, she closed her laptop with a sigh and stretched.

"You're very diligent," He commented from behind her. She turned and saw him cooking something in the kitchen, and wondered what Eri would think of her situation. She had tried calling her friend and been met with voice mail. Figuring the other woman was either sleeping off a hangover or still with her 'stranger' she had left a voice mail saying she was alright and that she had run into an old friend.

"I'm at the top of my class," She boasted, feeling proud. That spot had been hers through hours of studying and hard work.

"An accomplishment at your university. What do you hope to do after?"

"I'm aiming for my doctorate."

"Ambitious," He said with a smile, and she was struck at how odd it was for him to be smiling like that. "The kit will be here late tonight, so you will probably see him tomorrow."

"That's fine. I have an early class."

"Do you drive?"

"No, I always take the bus."

"We will remedy that. You should have your own means of getting about."

She didn't want to think about the cost he was expending on her as if it was nothing, so she said nothing. After all, he had already proven that he was going to get his way, and knew how to do so. Alpha fit much better than patriarch, and didn't insinuate anything paternal. She reflected, with no little relief, that at least he hadn't had children.

"You know, I still don't know what to make of all this," She admitted as she padded over to the kitchen. "I mean, I don't know anything about pack for being pack, and it's like I've suddenly become Cinderella. I can't imagine she was too comfortable after moving into the palace."

"From the stories I have heard, you easily adapt," He offered, turning a burner off. "It will just take time. And to be fair, at least you will not have to worry about court politics as Cinderella would have."

"Pack politics?" She rebutted.

"Fairly simple," He informed her as he pulled plates down from a cupboard. "It is not like it once was. Your life is very much your own, and yours to command. What you wish to become, who you wish to mate, who your friends are, those are your choices. As patriarch, I will interfere very little."

"Moving me isn't exactly little, _alpha_ " She pointed out, stressing the title and earning an arch look.

"Location is one of the few exceptions. This is the pack building. Should Inu Yasha come back, he and Tala would live here with their offspring. The kit and Souten will live here once they have mated, since both are from Japan and she has no clan left. And since you are not mated, it is my duty to see to what needs you have. Your name will be added to my account and I will take care of your schooling, and so on."

"So, I essentially got a fairy godmother?" She asked, sniggering when he gave her a flat look.

"Alpha, if you insist on it."

"Fine, fine," She laughed. "Alpha. So what do I do? I mean, you take care of me in all of these ways, what do I do?"

"What you wish."

"As I wish?"

"Yes. Except for right now. Now you will set the table."

"Ah but-" She groaned theatrically. "I thought I could do as I wished?"

"Obey your alpha."

"Fine," She sighed, still exaggerating her words. "I suppose if you need a live in slave."

"You were the one that could not bear to live alone."

"I suppose that rules out parties."

"Jigen has one every Friday. If you feel the urge, go to his apartment."

"I think I can do without," She chuckled. "I'm not much for partying."

"And yet you were at one last night."

"At Eri's command. She liked the idea of being someone different," She admitted, remembering her friend's face from the night before with a blush.

"You seem embarrassed," He noted, a silver brow arched, mocking her discomfort.

"She was very different last night," She finished with a mutter as she took the plates and silverware and hurried over to the table. He followed at a more sedate pace with a bowl in one hand and a platter in the other. She quickly set the table and sat herself, eying the plates hungrily.

"Were you ever a chef?" She asked as she watched him pour them both a glass of wine.

"I tried it," He admitted. "But I found I didn't like cooking to other people's tastes."

"I'd think anyone would be scared to send something back to you," She laughed, relaxing again. Tension from sitting at her laptop and hunched over a book seeped out as she took a small sip of wine. He served himself first, salad and a steak still leaking blood, and then he served her as well, and she noticed her steak was slightly more done.

"I don't mind rare," She told him. "For the future," She added.

"Perhaps being around so many youkai has rubbed off on you," He responded. "I spoke with my brother this evening. Inu Yasha and Tala are arranging to come over to see you, as well as their offspring."

"It will be nice to see them all," She admitted, shying away from the enormity of the news, how easily Sesshoumaru delivered it. "What kind of youkai is Tala?"

"Wolf," He said with a smirk. "It was part of the source of contention between them."

"I can understand. Inu Yasha never seemed to like any of Kouga's tribe."

"They get on well enough now."

"Kouga is still alive?"

"Indeed. His tribe has grown exponentially in the last few centuries. Tala is a distant relative of his, and came as a representative to his beta's mating ceremony. It is when she met Inu Yasha."

"I bet that was fun," Kagome snorted, thinking of a female version of Kouga and Inu Yasha meeting.

"It was a spectacle," He agreed. "In retrospect it is humorous, though I doubt anyone thought so at the time."

They ate in silence, Kagome humming appreciatively as she ate. When they finished, he walked back to the kitchen and brought back a small box and handed it to her. She opened it and peered down at the confection inside.

"There will be a celebration welcoming you when the others have gathered, but it seemed appropriate for today," He said in the way of explanation.

"I can't possibly eat all of this," She offered as she slipped the sides of the box open. "Share with me?"

For some reason, it didn't feel strange to be sharing a piece of chocolate cake with him, both of their forks dipping into it. Her hums almost turned into moans as she savored the chocolate mousse and the strawberries in it. Almost too soon the dessert was finished and she leaned back, hoping her smile did her feelings justice.

"Thank you again, Sesshoumaru."

"It's fine," He told her, a small smile of his own tilting up the corners of his lips. "Have you contacted your family yet?"

"I've been trying not to think about it. Mom worries sometimes, that I'm still living in the past. She might hit the roof when she finds out I'm living with a strange man."

"Strange?"

"To her. It's still strange to me too. You're not like I remember." There, she'd said it. Maybe he would elaborate on why he had changed, or how, or something, anything to explain why he was nice, and kind, and not trying to kill her.

"Centuries change everyone, even youkai," He said while staring straight at her. "And though I'm not the same youkai you knew when we battled Naraku, I am not completely different. There will be times when I will more resemble the person you knew than what you currently perceive."

It was a warning, and she had no trouble hearing it. With a sense of foreboding, she remembered the guy from the night before, and how easily Sesshoumaru had confessed to breaking his arms.

"But I am also your alpha, and that also changes my standing toward you. Before, you were merely Inu Yasha's-" Here he paused, trying to search for a word.

"Friend?" She supplied.

"Companion. I had little inclination to deal with him or his own, until we solidified as a single pack when the council formed. It simplified our lives."

"Council?" There it was, a hint of that strange, shadowy council he had mentioned before.

"A worldwide network of youkai. It is mainly to help police our own and to keep our kind safe in this day and age."

"And you and Inu Yasha are-"

"When Inu Yasha mated Tala, he became a member of the second branch, and part of Tala's main branch. You and Shippou are part of the main branch."

"I don't get it, wouldn't Inu Yasha be main branch, as your brother?" She asked, feeling her forehead crease in confusion and trying to school her expression back into something less stupefied. But the idea that she held a higher place in Sesshoumaru's pack than Inu Yasha was beyond comprehension. It just didn't make any sense.

"He made the decision to become second tier. If Tala had come here, she would have become first branch in our pack, and second tier of her own. Her position made it almost impossible to leave."

"I think I get it now," She said, mulling over the idea. "So it's a choice?" He nodded in agreement. "And if I choose to marry a human?"

"I doubt you will," He chuckled. "But you would stay a part of this pack, and your husband and children would all become a part of it."

"Why wouldn't I marry?" She sputtered indignantly, offended by his insinuation.

"Because you might choose to mate instead. After exposure to youkai, would you be satisfied with a normal human?"

"I might need normal," She rebutted, although she figured he was probably correct. In all actuality, she hadn't found much of anyone to be attractive, or not attractive enough to be worth the distraction. Human or youkai, she doubted that was going to change.

"If you choose to mate a youkai or hanyou, you will both have the choice to stay in this pack, or if he is part of a pack or clan, to join his."

"Okay," She said slowly, already tired of the thought. "Well, I'll probably wait until after my doctorate anyway. I don't really have time for anything else right now," She told him. "So no worries about any of that for a few more years at least."

He stared at her strangely for a moment, brow raising as if for an explanation, then he rolled his shoulders in a shrug and stood, preparing to grab the dishes.

"No! Let me at least do this," She commanded. "You go do, whatever it is you do."

"I would like to hear about your studies. They seem of great import to you."

"They are."

He followed her into the kitchen holding their wine glasses and filled them while she cleaned the plates off and loaded the dishwasher, then peered under the sink, immediately finding what she sought. After filling the soap up, she turned it on and accepted the glass of wine he held out to her. When they had settled into the couches, she thought about what she had just been studying.

"I'm working on Manyoshu right now. I'm trying to figure out what poem I want to write on. I think I have one."

"Which one?" He asked, the picture of polite interest.

"I loved her like the leaves." She said at last, waiting for him to roll his eyes and brush off her choice. After all, it was a love poem, and love poems were the realm of women, which is why she normally avoided them for study.

"I loved her like the leaves, the lush green leaves of spring, that pulled down the willows of the bank's edge where we walked while she was of this world," He sighed, growing pensive. She watched a sadness settle over him, a weight that made it seem like he understood all too well what the poem was about.

"Yes, that one." It was the only thing that would come out in the wake of his recitation.

"It's a beautiful poem."

"You seem to know it well," She ventured after several quiet moments.

"I do."

"I'm sorry," She murmured, feeling badly for reminding him of something he obviously didn't want to remember. He said nothing, his gaze still directed in, and she sat her glass down. Wondering if she was being foolish or silly, she went over to him and sat down. Surprised when he didn't even seem to notice her, she settled next to him, curling into his side. After several minutes, she noticed him shifting, and looked up at him.

"You seemed like you needed someone," She explained while he stared down at her, eyes still dazed, as if he were just coming back to the world he sat in.

"It's something of an open secret within the pack," Sesshoumaru began, pausing for a moment. "And doubtless you'll hear of it. I loved Rin," He admitted slowly, woodenly. "She chose a human husband, Kohaku."

"I'm sorry," She murmured, pity welling up at his choice of words. An open secret. It was difficult to reconcile the Sesshoumaru she'd known with the idea of the pack knowing he loved someone, was in love with someone. Even Rin.

"Don't be. She was drawn to his hurts, and healed him. They had many children, and a happy life together. A normal life, which she wanted. I would not have been able to give her that."

"I'm still sorry," She murmured, cuddling in closer to him. "You're a good ma-person, Sesshoumaru. Probably more than people give you credit for."

She had no idea how long they stayed like that, silent and contemplative, but there was a comfort there; and though she never thought she would be comforting Sesshoumaru of all people, she offered it freely to the youkai that had done nothing but try to help her situation since meeting her twenty four hours before.

It also solved the mystery of what had happened to him, that it was probably loving Rin enough to let her go that had changed him so drastically. She knew how much such a choice could hurt, and though she knew he would have witnessed that happiness as the woman he loved married and had children while she had not, they were perhaps the same in that they had loved strongly and let go. No one remained the same after that kind of choice, not if the love was genuine.

"You are a strange woman," He said at last, setting his wineglass on the table and leaning back into the seat again. She noticed he didn't tell her to move though, and she felt a flicker of victory.

"I thought you already knew that," She chuckled, knowing that he had pushed the old memories back and returned to the present. Finding herself glad that she had offered the comfort, there was a distinct lack of awkwardness, which was the opposite of what she had expected.


	3. Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha and co. I'm messing around, because it's fun to be silly.
> 
> Also, I know the Japanese don't celebrate Thanksgiving.

She fingered the necklace her mother had given her, twisting and turning it nervously in her fingers as she paced the length of the condo. Her stomach was in a knot, tangling more and more tightly every second.

"If you do not cease your pacing, you will make yourself sick," He told her from his spot at the table.

Easy for him to say. He had known his brother his whole life, had seen him grow up, mate, and have children. He'd seen him age and mature. The last time _she_ had seen him, Inu Yasha had been a loud mouthed jerk with commitment issues. How was she supposed to reconcile that person with a father of three and a mate?

"You will make the cat sick," He tried, still clicking away at his laptop.

"Give me a break!" She snapped, spinning on her heel to face him. "I haven't seen him in six years. In six years he's gotten married and had kids, okay? I'm allowed to be a little freaked out!"

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before closing the laptop and walking over to her. Both of his hands came to rest on her shoulders and he stared down at her with amazingly calm gold eyes.

"Why are you nervous?"

"Because we're both different now," She admitted. "There's nothing to keep us as friends." The ease of her relationship with Sesshoumaru only drove home how much things had changed, how much Inu Yasha might have changed.

"Your relationship with Shippou is unchanged," He pointed out sagely.

"But Inu Yasha was different. I don't care for him like that anymore, but-"

"But?"

"What if it's uncomfortable, or awkward? What if his mate hates me because of our past? What if-"

"Kagome, you spoke on the phone with the both of them, did you not?" He rumbled in a calm rebuke. When she nodded hesitantly, he let go of her shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. "Tala and Inu Yasha both expressed inordinate joy that you had been found. Tala does not begrudge her husband a past with you. Inu Yasha has not changed so much, trust me."

The last was said in such a way that it sounded like a lament, and she couldn't help but giggle a little at his tone.

"It's just hard to imagine him with a family, grown up, responsible-"

Sesshoumaru made a strange sound in his throat, and she could have sworn it was something between amusement and disdain.

"Did he at least stop cursing?"

"Tala made sure of it," He murmured, just as the doorbell rang. Immediately the panic came back, and she was shocked when he grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently before releasing it and going to the door. Opening it, she was further shocked when Inu Yasha walked in, his white hair in a long braid -sans doggy ears- holding the hand of a dark haired little boy with gold eyes. Following him was an exotic woman with long black hair that fell to her waist and eyes so dark they seemed black. She carried one child while another clung to her hand.

"Dad, is this her?" The little boy asked in heavily accented japanese.

"That is Kagome, one of my best friends," Inu Yasha said, voice wobbling.

"The lady that helped you defeat Naraku?"

"Yes."

This made the boy pull his hand from his father's grip and walk over to her. His burnished gold eyes looked up at her with solemn intensity that seemed out of place in such a young face. She could see parts of Inu Yasha in him, a strong chin, and the way he held it. His whole posture bespoke pride. But there was a seriousness there, incongruous to his age.

"Hello," She said, bending her knees until she was at eye level with the boy. Holding out her hand, she waited patiently until his hand gripped it and shook gently. "What's your name?"

"Miroku," He said proudly. "Like your friend."

"It's very nice to meet you Miroku," She said, her throat constricting and eyes misting dangerously.

"Kagome," Inu Yasha greeted as he stood. She nodded, and when he moved forward to hug her, she hugged back, her world listing strangely as he pulled back and smiled at her. "I'm glad he found you."

"It would have been hard to miss me, I was dressed like him," She retorted, trying to lighten the situation, needing the levity for fear of a total breakdown. Seeing the hanyou brought back memories, good and bad. There was no regret, no passion, not even a flicker of the teenage love she had felt for him, but the memories his presence incited were stronger than the ones Shippou had sparked. "So, stop being rude and introduce me to your mate," She laughed, gesturing to the exotic female holding the younger child.

Inu Yasha took their younger son in his arms and accepted the hand of the other. Tala smiled gently and Kagome suddenly felt almost dowdy as the sleek female extended her hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Tala," She murmured, shaking the youkai's hand.

"And it is wonderful to meet you. I've heard many stories about you," Tala answered.

"Probably about what a pain I was," Kagome laughed nervously.

"Oi, I'm not that mean," Inu Yasha muttered, yelping when the child in his arms pulled on an errant lock of hair.

"He's still a little boy in some ways," Tala chuckled in a conspiratorial whisper. "We'll find some girl time later," She added in a promise.

* * *

When the family left to go to sleep that night, she allowed herself to fall into an exhausted heap on the couch. A day of playing with children while listening to stories about the past five hundred years she'd 'missed' had been an emotional gauntlet, but a rewarding one. Rarely had she felt awkward or out of place in the small group, and she'd even been amazing by Sesshoumaru's willingness to play with the children as well.

She also had a sneaking suspicion that he hadn't gone far so he could remain, a sort of emotional support that she had needed at some moments. She wasn't at all jealous of Tala and Inu Yasha being together, but she did feel a brief flicker of envy at their good fortune. Though Tala scolded her husband as much as her children -possibly more-, they were both very obviously in love, and blissfully happy with their family.

"You seem tired," Sesshoumaru said, offering her a glass of wine. She accepted it gratefully, taking a light sip, not even tasting it.

"I didn't realize kids took that much out of you. And Inu Yasha mentioned she's pregnant again. I don't see how they do it," She said with a bemused smile. "I'd probably be a mess."

"You would do well enough," He chuckled. "You kept up with them today, all while handling seeing him again."

It was a subtly worded offer to share her feelings, because she needed to, something she was sure he sensed.

"There were moments," She admitted. "Not many, and not because I miss the idea of being with him. It's just strange, seeing him like this. I feel like I fell behind somehow. I'm still in college, and everyone else has a career and a family, or is pursuing a mate. I mean, it's just strange. I used to feel like the mom of the group, now I feel like," She stopped, unsure of what she actually felt like. A kid sister? A distant cousin being brought into the fold? Worst of all, a stranger, an interloper. Someone that had belonged, but didn't quite fit into the space left she'd left behind.

"In a few years it will not be so strange," He offered quietly. "You will age more quickly than we will. Soon enough you will pursue a marriage or a mating, and you will have a family of your own."

That thought sent a shiver of fear and anticipation through her. The idea of a family, of marriage or mating, all seemed so big, so vast and far away. And even though she knew years could fly by in the blink of an eye, she also knew that the day to day could seem to take forever.

"One thing at a time," She finally said with a small smile. "I need to finish my schooling, get my degrees. Maybe write a couple of books," She added with a laugh. "After all of the work I put in to doing well in school in the feudal era, I don't want to waste it."

He eyed her strangely, intently, for a moment before raising his glass to her from his spot on the couch across from her. She raised her own, and tilted it slightly before taking another sip.

"You're a really good uncle," She finally said, wanting to break the silence.

"They are good children, despite my brother's genetics," He said with a raised brow.

"You're still going on about him being a hanyou-" She began, irked that he had brought it up.

"You misunderstand," He chuckled, the corners of his lips tilting up in a smirk. "I meant only that my brother is still a hot headed, loud, arrogant individual. That he is hanyou has little bearing on it."

"I think the arrogance thing was from your dad," She chipped in. "You're both so full of-"

"Careful," He warned with a smirk.

"Or what?" She dared. His brow arched in the way she hated most. The one that instantly forced a lead brick of anxiety in her stomach.

"No, no, you will _not_ be coming back to my school," She muttered, remembering the last time he had even come close to her campus. It had been raining, and he'd been kind enough to pick her up. It would have been a thoughtful gesture, however. And it was a big however. He'd met her in the school, and now half of her professors were itching for his number, and not a few of the students.

"I still owe you for hiding catnip in my room," He sighed. It had been her childish response to the incident after umpteen girls from school had somehow gotten her phone number and called her, looking for him.

"Kirara enjoyed it," She mumbled, flushing.

"You ruined my bed."

Kirara was rather big when she transformed.

"You said you wanted a new one anyway."

And the uneasiness and strangeness of the day washed away, ushered out by their banter.


	4. Black Friday

"In America, people are going crazy over sales today," Tala sighed as they walked down the street, shopping bags in hand. "I'm grateful to be here for a few days and avoiding the madness."

"I can imagine," Kagome laughed lightly. Over the course of the day she and Tala had found time away from the men and children to go shopping and have some time to bond. Inu Yasha had seemed relieved that they got along so well, and Kagome couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about the relationship between herself and Kikyo.

"You're not what I expected," Tala admitted, moving to the side when a teenager on a skateboard came by. "Inu Yasha made you sound like a warrior goddess."

Unsure if she'd been insulted or not, she shrugged and smiled. "I was never a warrior. The whole thing was circumstance. My time was here."

"I would sound terrible if I said I'm thankful, but a part of me is, however selfish it makes me," Tala sighed, her eyes growing dark. Kagome had a feeling the youkai, who'd given every indication of being a proud woman, rarely humbled herself.

"I'm glad too," She said, elbowing Tala lightly. "Inu Yasha found happiness, and a family. I'm grateful, to be honest. Inu Yasha was my teenage love," She admitted. "And I don't know what it's like for youkai, but teenage love for a human normally doesn't last, we change too much, too quickly. We might have ended up making each other miserable. But you two are happy, and you love each other. I'm happy for the both of you."

Tala seemed relieved by her admission, and nodded in understanding.

"Inu Yasha spoke so highly of you, and I was afraid that perhaps you would resent our mating, or me."

"No!" Kagome gasped, horrified. "I do love him,but as a friend. After the well sealed itself, I wanted him to be happy. How could I resent the people that obviously care for him and love him?"

Tala shook her head and smiled, her gaze changing to one of softness. "He also said you were one of the most unselfish people on the whole of the earth. I can understand now."

"I'm not unselfish," Kagome rebutted, feeling peculiarly vulnerable to that knowing gaze and the small smile. "I'm just practical."

"So who is the man in your life, Kagome?" Tala asked as they turned into a small cafe and sat themselves. "Surely there is someone."

"Any number of poets and intellectuals," Kagome laughed as she accepted a menu from the waiter.

"Oh really, playing the field?"

"Field of study. I'm a literature student."

"So no males lurking around?" Tala chuckled as she perused the list.

"Nope. Not unless you count Sesshoumaru and Shippou, although he's been more involved with his work and Souten lately. I just don't have the time for dating."

"At least you have Sesshoumaru. He is a fabulous cook."

"Too true. I'd probably starve or eat one of my textbooks if it wasn't for him."

"I just wish Inu Yasha shared some of those kitchen skills. The last time I let him play in the kitchen, he turned a simple frozen pizza into a flaming frisbee. I still have absolutely no idea how he accomplished it."

That image was just too much for her, and when the waiter came to ask for their orders, she was still laughing so hard Tala had to order for her.

* * *

Inu Yasha accepted the glass of wine gratefully, looking as if he didn't know quite what to do with his hands. His disguise gone, he looked so different the time that had passed was only reinforced.

"Tala's amazing, we had a good time today," She murmured as she sat across from him. He nodded, a small smile on his lips.

"She told me she really liked you, that she could see what I meant."

"And here I thought you'd still be angry about all of the sitting," She chuckled warmly, pulling her legs up under her and taking a small sip of the wine.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I deserved it."

There was a long moment of awkward silence, and she wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what to say. It would be the first time since his arrival that she had been alone with him, and for all of their shared past, she felt like a bumbling child again, ignorant and slightly foolish.

"Kagome?"

"Hnn?"

He made a disagreeable sound, and she looked back at him, brow arched in question.

"Now you even sound like him!" The hanyou groaned. "And you're doing the eyebrow thing!"

"Inu Yasha, what are you talking about?" She laughed, feeling slightly more steady now that he was complaining. She knew the complaining, groaning Inu Yasha. It was serious, father of three, mated Inu Yasha that was still a stranger to her.

"Sesshoumaru. He always goes 'hnn' and you just did the eyebrow thing he does," The hanyou accused.

"We do spend a lot of time together," She chuckled. "I live with him," She pointed out when her friend gave her a horrified look.

"Just as long as you don't turn into a mini him, we're fine," He snorted. "One is enough."

"He's not bad, he's different now," She told him, unable to stop herself from remembering the daiyoukai's confession weeks before.

"It was Rin that changed him," Inu Yasha said, seeming to mentally withdraw and go somewhere else, much as his half brother had when the memories came. "No one had to say anything, we all knew, even though he tried not to show it. Rin didn't though, she never guessed. It didn't make him bitter, which is what everyone expected after she died. It did take five centuries to get him this far though. I was kind of worried when I left, to be honest. That he'd revert."

"It still makes me sad for him, that he went through that."

"Well, having you around helps him," Inu Yasha sighed, running his hand over his face. "Even though he looks like a loner, he's a pack creature as much as I am. He needs people to take care of."

"Are you saying I'm incapable?" She asked, needing to lighten the moment. She wasn't sure she could handle serious Inu Yasha, not yet.

"I'm saying you get into more trouble than anyone I've ever known, and he's probably the only person that can keep up with you," He snorted, reverting back into the hanyou she had known for a moment. Sputtering, she threw a pillow at him, which missed, staying where it landed. Inu Yasha sobered, ignoring the attempt.

"Hey 'Gome?" He finally asked, leaning forward and rolling the wine glass between his palms.

"What is it Inu Yasha?"

"Tala wanted me to ask, I mean, it's cool if you say no, we would both understand, but, I mean, if you want to, we'd both love it-" He was so awkward, so stilted for a moment that she was worried he would hurt himself trying to get the words out.

"What are you talking about?" She demanded in a light laugh as he fumbled through the words.

"The babies, we would like you to be the godmother," He said bluntly, hunching his shoulders together as if expecting a blow. Or a blow up.

The world stilled and then titled to one side, then another.

"I would- that would be nice," She finally choked out, tears burning her eyes. "I would be honored."

She could see the weight lifting off of his shoulders, and nodded as he stood and came over to sit next to her, wine glass left on the table. He took hers and sat it down, and then wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

"Thanks," He whispered, voice strained. "It means a lot."

She let him hug her for what felt like forever as they sat there. She tried to get a handle on how things had changed, and while he stayed, she kept it, needing to stay calm as long as he saw her. When he finally rose and bid her goodnight, she nodded and let him see himself out. As the door clicked shut, she leaned back and inhaled deeply, trying to keep that calm.

When it felt like the crack running down the center began to widen, she stood and walked over to the stairs, taking them one by one, each faster than the last.

He didn't say anything when she opened the door without knocking, or slipped in and closed it behind her. He was reading a novel, and wordlessly she climbed onto the bed, laying on top of the lush blankets he had piled on it.

He didn't say anything when she curled against his side, or when he put an arm around her, allowing her to snuggle deeper. And he was blessedly silent as her tears started, small sniffs muffled by his shirt.

Instead, the pages of the novel rustled as he sat the book down, and his tall frame curled around her, much like a dog protecting it's pup would. Silently she thanked him for protecting her, for sheltering her so readily.


	5. Christmas Eve

Paper flew everywhere through the room, and the sound of scissors cutting it could barely be heard over the sound of laughter. Kagome smiled at the women around her, enjoying the camaraderie as they wrapped Christmas presents. Tala and Souten and her mother all joked about the children that would poke their heads in from time to time, and the men who -like the children- kept trying to sneak peeks at their presents.

"I swear, men never grow up," Tala huffed after she had shouted Inu Yasha away from the door for a fifth time. Kagome couldn't help but laugh at their antics, knowing that her friend had found his match in every way.

"They really don't," Souten agreed.

"Shippou's a kitsune," Kagome argued. "They're entirely different."

"I doubt it," Tala chortled. "Males are males."

"Your father was much the same," Nodoka laughed as she curled a ribbon and peered at her box speculatively.

"Well, I mean-" She foundered, wanting to say Sesshoumaru would never do such a thing, but the thought sent a flicker of sadness through her. The others must have noticed, because they gave her sympathetic looks.

"I'm sure he'll be back in time," Tala tried to assure her. "The council never takes very long."

"It's nothing," She told them with a bright smile. His present was beneath her hands, wrapped. It was just the bow she was having problems with. "Mom, how do you curl ribbon like that, this is driving me crazy!"

"Here darling, let me show you," Nodoka said, holding a pair of scissors and sliding them down the length of ribbon. The end curled perfectly. Kagome repeated the motion on the other end and it curled almost as well.

"I think being a mother is what teaches you these things," Tala said as Souten battled with her own gift, the wrapping paper not folding quite as she wanted it to.

"Oh kami, _children_ ," Souten groaned.

"You're not even mated yet, so don't worry about it," Kagome chuckled, guessing at what Souten was thinking. "I'm sure Shippou will want some time just for you guys before you bring children into the mix."

"I hope so. I was a hellion, and people always say your children are worse than you," Souten grumbled.

"If that were true, there would be no America left standing," Kagome snorted.

"There's still time," Tala joked, her dark brown eyes filled with laughter.

* * *

Her mother looked at the world below them through the window, her face reflected in the glass.

"I'm still not used to it," Kagome chuckled as she walked over to her, a glass of eggnog in hand. All around them was chaos as Souta chased around his 'cousin' as he called Inu Yasha's oldest. Inu Yasha was holding one of his dozing children, and Tala the other, both speaking to the newly arrived Kouga, who was arguing the finer points of wolf relations with Tala in a quiet voice. Her grandfather didn't seem to know what to do with himself, and was reading through one of Sesshoumaru's older volumes on the couch. Ayame was laughing with Shippou and Souten about something, and their children were engaged in the chase with Souta.

Chaos, but Kagome appreciated having the normally quiet apartment filled with people. The noise filled the open space, making it feel smaller, homier.

"It's still strange, coming here to see you. To see all of them-" Nodoka began, looking around her. "It's nice though."

"It is. Holidays are much livelier," Kagome laughed.

"You seem like you're happier here," Her mother observed.

"It's nice being around the others, knowing they're okay after everything. And it's nice to live with Sesshoumaru and Shippou, it's not as lonely."

"I understand," Her mother said with a smile. "If Souta hadn't taken up rock music-" She began, sounding apologetic.

"It's fine mom, he needs to find his way too," Kagome said with a laugh. "Besides, I'm more on my game here. Sesshoumaru likes talking about my studies with me, and it helps me remember it."

"It's still odd, that you live with a man and-"

"He's my friend mom. It would have been the same if I needed a roommate and a guy applied," Kagome rebutted. "Actually, this is better, Sesshoumaru gets me, and we talk about the past sometimes. It's good to get it out."

"I'm glad you have people that really understand," Nodoka told her with a genuine smile. "It's just still new to me, this pack thing you've assimilated into."

"Don't worry, me too," She sighed. Though she knew she had fallen into it eagerly. Each day in Sesshoumaru's home -their home, he called it- made her forget more and more what it was like to be alone. Only two months had passed and she couldn't imagine living on her own again.

"Alright guys, we're putting the monsters to bed!" Inu Yasha called out. The four parents all headed for the door, their children in tow.

"I'll be heading to bed as well," Nodoka told her with a smile. "It's late."

"I think I'll wait up," Kagome said. "Just in case he gets home later."

Nodoka nodded and gave her a hug before making for the stairs. Her grandfather followed, and Souten and Shippou said their goodbyes before walking out. Souta gave her a speculative look.

"Want some company?"

"I'm good Souta, I've got some reading to catch up on," She told him with a smile. He gave her a long hard stare, then bounced his shoulders in a shrug and walked up the stairs, casting a glance over his shoulder.

"You know, if he said he'd try to make it, I don't see him missing it."

"He's got duties he has to see to," Kagome told her brother with a sad smile.

"Yeah, but he's also a lot like Inu Yasha, only more, I guess. He'll be here."

Warmed by her brother's certainty, she nodded once and looked back to the window, watching the planes that resembled stars at a distance. For each one that landed, she wondered if Sesshoumaru was on board.

Busying herself with cleaning up, she cleared the table of the small platters of fruit and cookies, storing everything for the next morning. Next she began loading dishes into the dishwasher, listening for the sound of the door opening. When the dishwasher turned on, she walked from the kitchen and into the living room, looking for anything that needed cleaned. Instead her gaze was drawn to the Christmas tree, blinking with lights she and the others had helped wind around it. Shippou had made mischief by lifting the children into the air, floating them as they had wound lights and tossed tinsel on with wild abandon. Tinsel still littered the carpet in odd spots that weren't anywhere near the tree.

She sat and stared up at it, with her family's star sitting on top proudly, almost ten feet in the air and reflecting the lights. Under the sound of the dishwasher she imagined she could hear a clock ticking, although she knew that was crazy, because Sesshoumaru did not like ticking clocks, the noise too grating on his sensitive ears. His present, wrapped in blue paper, drew her gaze next.

As she normally did close to the holidays, she had taken up tutoring others so she could buy presents for everyone, and his alone had been the one she had agonized over. Everyone else had seemed so simple, but what did you get the person that had everything? When she had stumbled on the small, out of the way shop, she had struck gold. It was easily the most costly of her presents, being custom made, but it was probably the one she was the most proud of.

With a small sniffle she got on her stomach and propped her head on her folded arms, eyes still locked on the present's wrapping paper reflecting the lights of the tree. Another small sniff escaped, then a whimper, and the tears wouldn't stop. Calling herself silly because the council had called him in for an emergency, she wiped her face against her arms and tried to relax her breathing.

Sometime between that moment and waking to being shifted slightly, she realized she had fallen asleep. It was not so much as a surprise as the gold eyes looking down at her with worry.

"You made it," She murmured groggily.

"I gave my word that I would try," He intoned.

"I didn't think-"

"I very rarely fail at anything I attempt," He chuckled as she moved onto her bottom and crossed her legs. Appearing to understand, he sat on the floor next to her.

"It's very colorful," He told her, looking at the tree that had appeared in his home. The tree itself had been picked the day after he left, and she supposed he might find it a bit too much, but his smile seemed genuine.

"The kids loved it. They said Tala's family doesn't celebrate Christmas, so I have a feeling they'll be coming here from now on."

"It is no bad thing," He replied. "Packs need holidays like this, times to come together. Children too."

"They do. Souten almost had a panic attack earlier thinking about having Shippou's."

"I think they will wait a time. They are both young yet."

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked after a beat.

"Hnn?"

"I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't have felt right if you weren't," She told him as she leaned against him. In the past two months touching him had lost it's strangeness, and while they didn't touch often, he never rebuffed her advances on his personal space. It was the same now as he wrapped an arm around her, allowing her to lean into his warmth.

"You smell of tears."

"I was scared you wouldn't be able to make it."

"The council knows better than to waste my time."

"What was the issue?"

"A small country's youkai revealed themselves despite our laws, and their scientists began experiments on them. Apparently they wanted to expand their borders, and thought using youkai dna to engineer soldiers would aid in that endeavor."

"How can you call that a waste of time?" Kagome gasped, looking up at him and feeling both horrified and guilty.

"It is a simple matter. The youkai's existence had been kept secret from all but the very few involved, in that we are lucky. They had not gotten far, so it was easily fixed."

"How, I mean, if they know-"

"We have many at our disposal that can alter memories, and those that revealed themselves are to be summarily punished."

That didn't sound good, and she didn't want to think about youkai that could make people forget their existence. The very idea was uncomfortable to contemplate, and she didn't want to think about the friendships she'd made and found again suddenly taken away for any reason.

"We had come to a conclusion, yesterday afternoon. They only wanted to drag out niceties, none of which matter to me."

"Oh," She said, finally relaxing. "In the future, if something that big comes up, don't skip out for anything, alright? The safety of youkai worldwide are more important than Christmas."

He made a strange noise at that, and she shrugged, not fully understanding what the noise itself meant.

"Tala's showing. Inu Yasha said it's twins this time," She told him.

"My brother is spreading his genes further and further," He said wryly, earning a light smack on his knee, earning a chuckle.

"You're awful," She reprimanded, although she couldn't help her own laughter.

"Go to bed Kagome. Tomorrow morning will come soon enough."

"Yes alpha," She muttered, standing and stretching. He chuckled at her petulant nickname for him, one she used any time he told her to do something, and stood as well. The lights reflected off of his silver hair and she had the urge to touch it and see how it would look moving in the light. Shrugging once, she hugged him tightly.

"Bed," He rumbled, making her step back and stick her tongue out before fleeing to the stairs.


	6. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer** :  
>  I don't own anything related to Inu Yasha, and the poems presented are waka from the Kokinshu. Go look, seriously. There's some amazing poetry to be found in it, and a lot has been transcribed to the tubes.

A scream and two bodies bouncing onto her bed woke her that morning, sending her flying off of the side in a tangle of covers. Disoriented and groggy, she clutched the blankets, willing the light away for five more minutes of sleep. 'Aunt Kagome' echoed through her room, and if she'd been coherent, she might have cared how strange that sounded. As it was, she just wanted to _sleep_.

"Aunt Kagome come _on_!" A childish voice screamed as it bounced on top of her. "Even Uncle Sesshoumaru is downstairs!"

"Coming," She groaned, trying to untangle herself from her blankets. Two pairs of hands helped her, pulling the blanket from around her and exposing her to the cool air. Feeling groggy, she was led from her room before she could put the blanket back on the bed.

"Finally!" Inu Yasha's oldest and Souta both shouted as she stumbled down the stairs and over to the tree. Rubbing her eyes she glared at her little brother, or tried to. It seemed being half asleep didn't make for good intimidation. Seeing the spot next to Sesshoumaru open, she ambled over and curled up next to him. Her mother sat across from her smiling brightly, and Souta mouthed 'I told you so', earning another glare.

"Presents!" Several children screamed, making her flinch. Briefly she wondered how the youkai adults could stand it.

"We've never done this before, but I have a feeling it's going to spread through the pack once they tell their friends about it," Kouga groaned.

"Ginta's going to kill you," Ayame snickered gleefully, green eyes glinting with mischief.

"No doubt. Hakkaku will have fun with it though," He sighed.

Presents were passed out, and small piles formed in front of everyone. The children tore through their wrapping paper to reveal everything from books to practice weapons. The adults went through theirs at a more sedate pace. Her family had gifted her with a frame, with a note that it was for a picture of her pack at it's first Christmas, and beautiful shell combs from Ayame and Kouga. Inu Yasha and Tala gave her delicate silver bracelets inlaid with light, transparent blue stones, and her grandfather had given her another strange relic she couldn't even begin to name. She did note, with no small sense of embarrassment, that Sesshoumaru was smirking at the mummified-Whatever it was, amusement obvious.

Sesshoumaru's present to her made her eyes water when she opened the scroll. The characters were old, but she knew them by heart after studying them for so long. Even so, she couldn't pull her eyes from the scroll, the weight of it in her hands dangerously light for something so important.

"I thought to see whether I could do without you, I cannot tell of the longing, even in jest," She mumbled, trying not to cry. "Sesshoumaru, how did you get this?"

"Santa never tells," He chuckled as he reached for his last present, the one she had commissioned. He unwrapped the paper carefully and opened the wooden box the artist had stored it in, swathed in smooth white silk. She closed the scroll as he pulled the heavy bundle out and began to unwrap it carefully. Little by little the statue was exposed, it's translucent white stone glinting in the morning light.

"This is-" He murmured, eyes caught on the statue of the big white dog that so resembled him in his natural form. The morning light hit it just so, making it appear as if it were glowing from within. "Magnificent. Thank you, Kagome."

"Merry Christmas," She whispered, setting her scroll down on the table and curling into his side. He nodded, swallowing convulsively before setting the statue down and leaning back. Everyone else seemed caught in their own drama's, with Nodoka and Inu Yasha snapping pictures everywhere. Their moment was quiet, unnoticed by the others.

"Alright, who is going to help me cook dinner?" Nodoka asked when the noise had died down.

Kagome stood in unison with all of the other women, earning laughter from the men as they headed for the kitchen. The turkey had already been started, and she wondered when her mother had done that. But in the next few minutes, the kitchen turned into a whirlwind of activity, all of them trying to navigate around one another. Smiling a secret smile as everyone laughed and shouted and told stories, she let herself enjoy the feeling of her family celebrating her favorite holiday together.

* * *

"I'm surprised they managed to walk after eating so much," Sesshoumaru intoned as the last of their guests toddled out of their apartment. Inu Yasha and his family had gone to to the suite below, and Souten and Shippou had claimed needing some time to themselves. Her own mother had headed out, dragging her son and father behind her. Left alone with the dishes and leftovers, Kagome couldn't stop the goofy smile that seemed determined to stay plastered to her face.

"It was a good day," She told him, thinking about the picture she had taken of the group while they hadn't been looking. It would be perfect for her frame.

"It wasn't awful," He replied as he closed the dishwasher. She grabbed a dishtowel and threw it at him with a laugh.

"You could admit you had fun for once."

"This Sesshoumaru does not have fun," He intoned flatly, his face a mask of apathy.

"Yeah right. And you don't breathe, eat, or sleep either. Silly me, daiyoukai never do anything we mere mortals do."

"You are correct," He replied in an even voice, although she could see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Well then I guess this mere mortal shall flee the great youkai's demesne, escaping mortal peril!" She replied stiffly, toeing for the door.

"I will catch you," He warned.

"You're too old," She shot out petulantly before making a break for the door. He gave her a moment's head start, an illusion of possibly making it, and then pounced, catching her in his iron grip and lifting her off of the ground and carrying her through the house, ignoring her howling and screaming.

"Put me down beast!" She 'shrieked' through her breathless laughter.

"As you wish," He replied, not without a hint of mirth as he dropped her onto the couch. She fell with enough force to bounce before settling into the plush cushions.

"You're still old," She muttered.

"And you are still young."

"For a human I am in my prime," She shot out.

"And for an inu youkai I am in mine," He retorted.

"Wow, really?" She asked, eye widening. He paused, looking at her curiously before sitting across from her on the couch, cleaning up forgotten.

"I matured more slowly than Inu Yasha. We appear of an age now."

"I had noticed, I just didn't realize it was because of his human blood," She murmured thoughtfully, assimilating this newest piece of information. "But you told me mating marks-"

"He will age as Tala does, since she has the dominant blood in their mark. By the time they initiated their bond, he had aged enough to seem as old as I."

"Oh. What about Shippou?"

"He is young yet."

"So. Your prime huh?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Seem a bit slow to me," She cried before jumping over the back of the couch and running for the kitchen. He was right behind her, and she skidded on the hardwood floors as she grabbed for the sink and turned the water on. In the next moment he was next to her and she was holding the spray nozzle for the small hose, pressing the sprayer down. She released it and waited for his reaction.

Triumph sang through her as he stood there, shocked into stillness, face dripping wet and water soaking the front of his shirt.

"See, slow. _Alpha_ ," She sang sweetly.

He reached past her and turned the water off, then removed the hose from her hand. The next thing she knew, the air whooshed from her lungs and she was staring at his back as he jumped up onto the second floor landing and strode into the guest bathroom.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry, it was a joke," She tried, fearing his retribution. He said nothing as she pleaded to be put down, but his free hand opened the door to the shower stall and turned all of the knobs, forcing water out in a heavy stream from all directions. Then he dropped her in and closed the door.

Cold water soaked her everywhere, eliciting a screech that echoed in the stall. She stood and pulled at the door, trying to get it open to no avail. He was standing there holding it shut. Though she couldn't see his face through the rippled, frosted glass, she was positive he was smiling, or at least smirking.

"Let me out!" She shouted, hoping she hurt his ears. He didn't move, and she turned the knobs off, fuming.

"Let me out Sesshoumaru."

"Have you learned your lesson?"

"That you're old and crotchety."

She had no idea how he did it, but the water turned back on at full blast. Once again, it was freezing.

Her scream was more of outrage than shock as she reached for the knobs and tried to turn them off. They resisted any attempts to turn them.

"Please, it's freezing," She moaned, teeth already beginning to chatter.

"Lesson?" He rumbled through the door.

"You're not old," She snapped impatiently. The water turned off and he stepped back from the door. She flung herself out of the stall and glared at him as he held a towel out.

"You are still crotchety," She muttered, noticing that the towel had been warmed.

"Only so much as is required," He chuckled.

"That was mean," She accused.

"You were going to change anyway," He laughed as he strode form the bathroom and in the direction of his own room. No caring how childish she seemed, she stomped to her own room and slammed the door shut, feeling particularly vindictive until her eyes lit on all of her presents, laying on her bed. The scroll he had presented her with lay on her beside, and afraid to touch it with wet hands she quickly stripped and dried off, throwing the damp clothing in her own bathroom, listening to them make a wet splat as they fell in the hamper.

Her new, comfortable silk pajamas went on and she put her still wet hair in a ponytail before grabbing the scroll and heading back downstairs. He was already seated on one of the couches, leaning back and reading the book her mother had gotten him.

"What do you think of it?" She asked as she sat across from him.

"Your mother was kind to think of me. I've never indulged in thrillers. I'm curious what it will be like."

"She was sort of at a loss, and I couldn't think of anything," She admitted. At her admission he sat the book down and regarded her thoughtfully.

"Your gift was-" He paused, smiling a small smile. "It doesn't strike me as something gotten out of hand."

"It was a commission. I found this sculptor's shop, and her work is just-It's fantastic, like she knows about youkai, you know? I asked if she took commissions and explained what I wanted."

"It is a magnificent piece. I have never received Christmas presents before, but yours is-I didn't think to expect it. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it. Now, I've told you my secret. Where did you get this?" She asked, holding the scroll up. "It's old, and-"

"It is one of the original copies, preserved by youkai spells. There is a youkai that collects rare texts, and I persuaded her to part with it."

"Originals?" She sputtered. "Sesshoumaru, this is-"

"Perfect for you," He interrupted, effectively cutting off her tirade. "And it retains the spell on it, so you may read it without fear of it turning to dust."

She was hugging the scroll to her chest, trying not to cry. He had already given her everything, from a place to live to the clothes she wore to her college tuition, and somehow he had found a way to give her more.

"Thank you," She finally murmurred. He nodded his head once in acknowledgment, his body relaxing into the couch. She settled back into the cushions and opened the scroll reverently, shocked by the suppleness of the paper itself and the vividness of the ink on it. Preserved. The logical part of her brain, the student and scholar, howled as her fingertips traced the paper. The romantic in her ignored it.

"These mountain cherries with no one to look upon them, might they not bloom when all others have fallen?" She murmured, finger tracing the characters lightly. Sesshoumaru said nothing, but picked up his book, satisfied that she was delving into the text of the scroll. They stayed that way for hours. She lost herself in the rich brushstrokes of someone that -human or youkai- was surely dust, and he flipped through the thriller, apparently losing himself in the story.


	7. New Year's Eve

"I don't want to go to a party again," Kagome groaned as Eri pleaded and cajoled with her to go to another party. As of yet the other woman was unaware of her move, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it a secret. As it was, they were only a few blocks away from her building at a small cafe, and Kagome worried her friend would offer to give her a ride back home because of the quickly brewing storm.

"I promise it won't be like last time. That guy, the one you told me about, he ended up in the hospital. Apparently someone decided to stick up for you, although he won't say who," Eri told her. "Said it was a demon, but you're the only person I can remember being dressed like a youkai that night, and I know you couldn't have broken his arms like that."

Kagome did not want to remember that night, or the fact that her alpha had decided to exact retribution on her behalf.

"I don't want to go to a party Eri. I have something to do tonight," She lied. She didn't even know if Sesshoumaru had plans, but she would be happier with Kirara in the apartment than at another party at Jigen's.

"Come on Kagome, it's new years eve. Don't you want a new year's kiss?"

"A what?"

"You know, a kiss at the stroke of midnight. It'll bring you luck in love for the next year."

"I don't need luck in love next year. I need luck in school. And dealing with the men already in my life," She complained.

"What? Souta and your grandpa can't be that bad," Eri chortled. "Or is your grandpa trying to plaster ofuda to any guy that comes within ten feet of you again?"

Kagome thought about Christmas, where her grandfather had been giving Sesshoumaru the stink eye right up until she had opened her present. After that the older man had been respectful and genial to the youkai, which had startled her and amused Sesshoumaru to no end.

"No, not exactly. Just, it's a really long story."

"We've got time," Eri told her as she glanced at her watch. "I need to be back at my place by nine to grab my stuff, and then we can go to your place and then Jigen's."

"Umm," She started, trying to figure out how to explain that she was living with a man that wasn't a boyfriend to her best friend.

"Sounds good," Eri giggled, leaning forward.

"Remember that guy I dated in middle school?"

"Hojo?"

"No, not that one. The one you never met."

"Oh, the loser. Yeah, I remember him." Kagome couldn't help but flinch at her friend's choice of words.

"Well, I ran into his brother that night," She hedged.

"Wow, small world I guess," Eri murmured before taking a long swig of her soda, never once taking her gaze off of Kagome. Trying not to feel pinned by that stare, she searched for a believable explanation.

"Yeah. Sesshoumaru lives in the building. I didn't have my cell to call a cab and it was too late for buses, and he offered to let me come up and get cleaned up. I ended up crashing with him-"

"Kagome you sly dog. You slept with your ex's brother?" Eri whispered, face flushing and eyes growing wide.

"No, nothing like that happened," Kagome snapped, then calmed herself. "I slept in a guest room. Nothing happened, so stop looking at me like that."

Eri pouted and went back to sipping through her straw, looking exceptionally put out at the news.

"He gave me a ride home the next day and saw my apartment and found out I was taking out a higher student loan to pay for it while I studied. And-" She paused, unsure of her friend's reaction.

"And?"

"He offered to let me be his roommate." She flinched, knowing it had come out in such a rush that her friend might not be able to understand it, and she wasn't entirely sure she could repeat it.

"You live with him?"

"Well yeah. He's a nice guy and quiet-"

"Rent free?" Eri sputtered, incredulous.

"Yeah," Kagome said slowly.

"In _that_ building?" Her friend screeched.

"Eri, stop it, people are staring!" She hissed, panicking when everyone in the small cafe peered at her and her friend with a mixture of curiosity and annoyance.

"Kagome, you live with your ex-boyfriend's brother, for free, in one of, if not the most, expensive condos in Japan. And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I didn't know how to bring it up," Kagome groaned, burying her face in her hands. "It was just really, perfect timing and I knew how it would look."

"Kagome, are you sure you're not sleeping with him?"

"I think I'd remember something like that," She snapped impatiently. "He's just being nice and helping me out while I'm in school."

"I want to meet him," Eri declared, standing abruptly and almost upsetting her drink. "I have to make sure he won't take advantage of you."

Oh, that was an awful idea. It ranked right up there with her idea to annoy Sesshoumaru by hiding alarm clocks throughout the apartment, all of them set to go off within minutes of one another in the middle of the night. That plan had ended with her locked in the shower after being pulled from a dead sleep.

"I don't think-"

"Kagome, I will find a way to meet him. It's either now or later. Your choice."

She wondered how long she could postpone 'later', but the look in Eri's eyes bespoke determination and curiosity. Not once, in the entirety of her travels in the past or her life in the present, had that mix led to anything good.

"Fine," She groaned. "He's home now. Let me call and make sure it's okay to bring a guest over."

She took out her phone and called Sesshoumaru. It wasn't often she called him since they saw each other every day, so she knew he would pick up immediately. Unfortunately, he did.

"Kagome, it everything alright?"

"My friend Eri would like to meet you," She groaned. "She's pretty determined."

"That's fine," He intoned. She had no idea if he was angry or not, and she worried that bringing a human into their home would make him angry, especially an inquisitive human.

"We'll be home in a few minutes," She warned. He made an affirmative noise and hung up.

"Come on," She sighed, not even bothering to finish her drink. Her stomach was roiling dangerously, and she wasn't sure if she was going to choke or vomit first. Eri followed her out. The storm was beginning in earnest, small drops of cold rain beginning to pelt the ground. They ran for Eri's car and got in just before the storm broke, thunder booming and lightning washing the world outside in a blinding flash if light.

"Kami, it's going to be bad," Eri said as she pulled out of the parking lot and drove through the traffic that was quickly growing worse. Kagome punched her code in and directed Eri to where she and Sesshoumaru normally parked their cars. There was an empty space for guests and they got out.

"So, anything I should be worried about?"

"He can be a bit brusque," Kagome sighed. "So if he seems rude, it's just his normal self with people he doesn't know that well."

"And how is he with you?" Eri pressed.

"He's my friend. That's. It." The words came out through clenched teeth, and Eri seemed to take the hint. The ride up to the top was a long, silent one, and Kagome felt strangely weightless as her stomach swam with butterflies that she was sure had consumed some sort of speed. When the doors opened with a ding, she walked over to the door and unlocked it.

"Top floor?" Eri asked.

"He's an architect."

"Wow," Her friend breathed as she stepped in. Sesshoumaru was nowhere to be seen, but the storm raging outside of the glass windows was nothing if not impressive, especially at their altitude. Eri walked over to the glass and stared out into the quickly descending darkness as rain pelted against the windows.

"This is amazing. Your really live here?"

"She does," Sesshoumaru intoned, his human guise firmly in place as he came in from the kitchen. Eri jumped at his abruptness, turning to him, mouth open with a volley of questions that died before reaching her lips.

Kagome wanted to bang her head against a wall. Or to jump through the glass and into the storm.

Sesshoumaru had perfectly disguised himself as human. However, he was barefoot in a pair of slacks, with his shirt unbuttoned just enough to be rumpled looking, and his cropped hair was in disarray. He looked like he had stepped out of a fashion magazine. Or bed. Possibly both.

And she knew what Eri was going to think.

"Eri, this is Sesshoumaru, my roommate. Sesshoumaru, this is one of my best friends, Eri."

"Does your ex look anything like him?" Eri asked bluntly, making her want to fall through the floor. "If he does, I can totally understand you forgiving him for being a two timing jerk."

"Eri-" She began.

"My brother and I are similar in looks," He intoned flatly. Kagome could tell he already disliked the female standing across from him, sneering at how she gawked. He turned to Kagome, eyes filled with ice. "Would our guest like anything?"

"I can get it," She muttered, rushing to the kitchen. Any space from the ten square feet of ice that had formed around Sesshoumaru and Eri was a better space, a safer one by far. Looking through the fridge, she ignored the bottles of chilling wine and opted for one of the flavored waters. Neither Eri or Sesshoumaru spoke as she poured, or when she gulped down an entire glass before refilling it. When she walked back over, glasses held out in offering, it felt like walking between a predator and it's prey. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out who she should be more worried about.

Eri accepted one glass, eyes still focused on Sesshoumaru, who accepted a second. She retreated back to the kitchen for her own, finger running over the rim to express her frustration.

"Perhaps sitting?" Kagome suggested, hating the way her voice cracked.

"Perhaps," Sesshoumaru intoned in a cold voice that was more than just reminiscent of the youkai she remembered from five hundred years before. Eri, seemingly oblivious, sat herself on one of the comfy couches and stared as she and her roommate took a seat across from her.

"Are you and Kagome sleeping together?" Her friend asked bluntly.

"Eri, I told you, he and I-"

"We are not," He rumbled, interrupting her and quieting her objection.

"Are you going to take advantage of her?" Eri shot out.

"Oh for the love of-"

The room seemed to drop another ten degrees, and she hoped, prayed, pleaded with the gods that it was because of the storm that was gathering intensity outside.

"I have no interest in taking advantage of Kagome," He answered in a dangerously calm voice. "Or betraying the trust she places in me."

His tone was lost on the inquisitive and obviously interested female across from them, and Kagome wondered if the evening would end in bloodshed. Not caring if they noticed anymore, she downed her glass and moved to for a refill. Sesshoumaru handed his to her and she accepted it, casting a longing glance at the kitchen.

"Are you gay?"

She was supremely thankful she had swallowed the water in her mouth before her friend had asked that. There was no telling who it would have ended up on otherwise.

"No."

"Are you single?"

Another silent plea to the gods, this time asking what she'd done in a prior life to deserve this moment.

"Yes."

"Want to go to a party with us?"

There was a dangerous silence that echoed through the room, punctuated by a flash of lightning and the following boom of thunder. Dramatic. Kagome hated that her life had fallen into such a cliché.

"I would rather have my internal organs cut from me with a dull knife."

Kagome gave up any pretense of being comfortable, getting up and walking back to the kitchen to get some distance from the inevitable fallout. If she was lucky -and she had no illusions that she was- Sesshoumaru might forget she was even there. Eri too.

"You are such a jerk!" Eri snapped. "It was a simple question."

"I prefer being perceived as a jerk than whatever else you automatically assume," He intoned flatly.

"Who pissed all over your shoes today you arrogant-"

"Okay, time's up. I knew this was a bad idea," She groaned as she walked back to the living room. "Eri, Sesshoumaru is a good guy, and I trust him implicitly. He is one of my best friends. Sesshoumaru, Eri is one of my best friends, and she is one of the few people that has stuck by me. You don't have to like each other. But please, please don't resort to name calling. It's new years eve."

"And you were going to stay stuck up in this place with him? Kami, he can't even get a date and you're going to take pity on him and miss out-" Eri babbled, hand waving in Sesshoumaru's general direction.

"I do not like parties. I do not like the idea of going to Jigen's, especially after last time. I don't care about a new year's kiss, and I don't care about being lucky in love next year. I don't even know if he has a date or not," She snapped, feeling lightheaded from a combination of anger and fear. Eri looked at her with narrowed, angry eyes before stomping up to her.

"You'd rather stay here by yourself than hang out with me?"

"You said we'd hang out at the last one, then ended up in one of the bedrooms with some guy!" Kagome bit out. Eri's face flooded with red and she stepped back, looking both embarrassed and angry.

"How did you-"

"I walked in on it right before Mr. Cool tried to assault me in a bathroom. If you want to go party, that's fine. But it is not for me, alright?"

"How do you know if you don't try it?" Eri pointed out.

"Because I did, and I didn't like it then," She muttered. Eri spun on her heel and looked at the now standing Sesshoumaru, who looked poised and ready to pounce on the girl and throw her out at any second.

"You, I don't like you at all."

"The feeling is mutual," He rumbled.

"But you're helping her out big time, and I respect that. Don't try to take advantage of her, because Kagome is an amazing woman and deserves only the best. If I ever hear of you hurting her or trying to force her to-"

"Are all the men you associate with such stunning examples of masculinity?" He quipped, interrupting her.

"What do you mean?"

"That you jump to these accusations with every strange man you meet."

"Most of them aren't that bad, but they're college guys. I bet even you had a phase where you were an idiot. It's just how guys are."

Kagome couldn't stop the amused noise that escaped, although her attempt to made it come out a snort. She covered her mouth and shrugged when Sesshoumaru leveled a glare in her direction.

"I will not take advantage of her. You are correct, she deserves to be treated well, and I have no designs on her. However, I would appreciate it if you do not come back until you can speak to a stranger with some civility."

Eri bristled and opened her mouth, stopping when his hand came up.

"I am a stranger to you. I do not appreciate a woman I don't know coming into my home and asking questions of such a personal nature. I also do not appreciate that you pushed Kagome into doing something she obviously did not want to do."

Eri deflated at the last comment, turning to her and getting ready to apologize. However, something must have put her off, because she stopped.

"I'm sorry Kagome. I was just worried about-" Eri gestured to the apartment around her. "Even you have to admit it's suspicious," She added, looking back to Sesshoumaru.

"Understandable," Sesshoumaru conceded stiffly.

"Kagome-" Eri began, then stopped. "I'll see you at school."

"Yeah," Kagome mumbled, face hot.

The apartment was filled with the sound of the storm outside as Eri walked out, the door closing gently behind her.

"That went well," She groaned, bracing her elbows on the counter and cradling her face in her hands.

"Your friend is rude."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be quite that bad," She sighed. "I'm going to go change."

He said nothing as she exited, and she felt an irrational surge of guilt. She had given in to Eri's demands, and she shouldn't have. Sesshoumaru _was_ different. With pack. With her. But not with other people. The tolerance and geniality he extended to her family had been for her, and wouldn't extend to friends. She should have known Eri's personality would grate against his temper.

After a long, stern discussion with herself about house rules, she changed into more comfortable clothing. Finally she stepped out of her room, ready to face the music.

The bracelet was off, and he was watching the storm outside with a neutral expression. He was surprisingly calm, although she supposed that would be natural. Calm and cool was his default personality, and he didn't often use it with her anymore.

"I'm sorry-" She began again.

"It is not your fault. I can understand that she would be concerned. Her questions and scent-" He sighed, relaxing a little.

"Her scent?"

"She was-interested."

"I figured you'd get that pretty often," She retorted wryly.

"It was the combination. Her concern was false from the moment she saw me. I do not appreciate such deceptions."

"I suppose it doesn't matter, I don't think she's coming back. Probably for the best."

"Probably," He sighed. "Did you really wish to stay in tonight?"

"The party is at Jigen's," She pointed out. "And I didn't feel much like partying before. I certainly don't now."

"Would you like to help me cook dinner?"

"Aren't you going out?" She asked.

"I avoid going out on New Year's Eve."

"Dinner it is," She said with a laugh. Equilibrium reasserted itself, Eri's visit seeming less like the catastrophe it had surely been.

"Are the males at your school really-"

"I don't know. I haven't had a group project at this school, and I don't really hang out with anyone from there besides Eri. Any opinion I have is sort of biased anyway," She told him, thinking about the guy that had ended up with broken arms because he couldn't take no without being hit.

"Has becoming part of the pack isolated you at all?"

She heard the concern in his tone and couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"If anything, being part of the pack now has kept me from being so isolated. I've been trying to pack in as many credits as I can, so I don't socialize much with the other students. Being here has helped a lot. So don't worry, okay?"

"Your friend seemed to think-"

"Eri was just reacting to you and your _descriptive_ way of rejecting her offer, which is something people don't do often. She's president of two clubs and she's never been out of a relationship for longer than a day or two. I'm not sure anyone has ever told her no so forcefully," She chided.

"Human males have strange tastes," He intone as he opened the fridge and pulled out two wrapped steaks. She heard the way he said strange, and knew he was being kind. She also knew it wasn't an apology, by a long shot.

"Guys like what they like," She said, ignoring the lack of remorse. "Eri is the kind of girl guys like."

She heard him mutter something, but she couldn't make out the words.

"What was that?"

"I question their taste. And sense."

She had a feeling he was being nice again, and she knew for a fact that wasn't what he had said. The water in the sink turned on, and she grabbed the hose.

"I wouldn't recommend it," he said, back still turned toward her.

"Tell me what you said."

"I questions their taste-"

She pressed down on the trigger and a burst of water hit the back of his shirt. He turned, looking more than mildly annoyed.

"The truth, Sesshoumaru."

"And sense."

Another burst of water, and he was stepping to her,. She pressed the trigger down and watched as the front of his shirt was soaked.

"Fine, miko. Have it your way."

He didn't haul her over his shoulder as she had expected, which was-Surprising. However, he bent over and opened the cabinet beneath the sink, completely ignoring her nearness. She clung to the hose.

He came back up holding a water gun. Not just a normal water gun. She wasn't that lucky. A watergun with what looked like a three gallon bottle. The whole thing would have been monstrous if it were any color besides neon green.

She pressed down on the trigger even though she really hadn't meant to.

She got soaked, head to toe. For that matter, so did he. And the floor.

"Are you happy now?" She asked, feeling petulant after his demonstration.

"I am. Not only have I made my point, this is the first reasonable suggestion my brother has ever made."

"That was Inu Yasha's idea?"

"And gift."

"I'm going to strangle him," She muttered, walking from the kitchen and over to the couch.

"Aren't you going to change?"

"I just changed. Bite me."

"Careful miko, you're speaking to a youkai."

"A dog youkai. Do you chase tires too?"

"Fair point," He chuckled as he stored the watergun back under the sink. She made a note to destroy it later, or at least hide it somewhere it would be useful to her and not him. He walked over to her making strange squishy noises and sat down next to her. She could feel the water spreading over the fabric of the seat.

"Take out sounds amazing right now."

"Take out it is."

"I've never had beer," She added. Beer sounded like a great idea.

"I will speak to the concierge."

He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked it. It wouldn't even turn on.

"We should get those indestructible ones, you know, the ones you can put through a dishwasher and they live?"

"Perhaps," He muttered as he walked back to the kitchen and retrieved the cordless. He dialed a series of numbers and she heard him ordering beer and takeout. After he came back and sat down next to her, his motion punctuated by more lightning and thunder.

"Am I weird?" She finally asked.

"In what sense?"

"Eri just makes dating and parties seem so normal. Every time I even mention being too busy with my studies she gives me this sad look. And this whole new year's thing, I could swear she thought I'd lost my mind."

"New Year's thing?"

"It's nothing, just more teenage girl stupidity that apparently carried into adulthood."

"Would this be the new year's kiss you told her you didn't want?"

"It's not just that, it's what it means. Luck in love the next year. I don't need it, but there's this part of me that wonders if I'm weird for thinking that way. I don't need it," She reiterated.

"I suppose the question becomes if you want it," He finally answered.

The power chose that exact moment to go out.

"Oh hell. If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is," She muttered. "I'll go grab some candles."

She fled, feeling foolish for even bringing the subject up. But a part of her did wonder. Her answer to questions about dating and kissing and even love was always the same. No time, no need. After all, her degree came first. But in all of that time, she hadn't thought about wanting it. And even though her studies were fulfilling and the pack was perhaps the best support system on the planet, there was a tiny part of her that did sort of want it, or the romanticized version at least, which she knew better than to expect.

Maybe giving in to that romanticized vision is what had Eri going through one relationship after another, always excited by a new prospect after quickly growing bored with the old one. It seemed dangerous at best, self destructive and futile at worst.

"Better off with the degrees," She muttered sourly as she gathered several thick candles and their bases in a towel. When she got back downstairs, he was still sitting on the couch, staring out into the storm.

"Can you still make magic fire, alpha?" She teased as she set the candles up. The moment she stepped back the candles lit, casting flickering shadows around the table and couches. She looked to Sesshoumaru saw was frightened for a moment by the picture he presented. The shadows flickering over his face reminded her of what he had been, beautiful and terrifying. A killer. Staunchly reminding herself that he was a friend, that he would never hurt her again, she forced her heart to slow down.

"You are not strange," He finally told her. "You see clearer than most."

"Well that's vague," She told him, plopping down unceremoniously onto the couch next to him. He inclined his head in acknowledgment, but didn't elaborate.

"I think it's for the best," She finally told him. "I was thinking about how Eri looks at dating and guys, and she believes in the fairy tale scenario. A guy that comes in and saves her, sweeps her off her feet, does the little things and the big things, and makes her feel like the most important woman in the whole world. And no man is perfect. They'll leave the toilet seat up, or let their laundry go until there's nothing clean left, or burp without covering their mouths, something. And I think there's a bit of that in me, and it would get me in a lot of trouble to give in to it."

"You have explained my observation," He finally said.

"How so?"

"You recognize your own weaknesses, and deal with them in your own way."

The doorbell rang, and he walked over to it. The wallet he produced was soggy, but then so was the delivery boy, who also seemed a little winded. She guessed that he had used the stairs since the power was out. Sesshoumaru came over carrying take out and sat it down.

"From the cartons," She demanded.

"The beer should be here soon."

"Does that mean we wait?"

"It is your choice."

She decided they would wait, and tried to figure out something to talk about, anything to detract from the creepy atmosphere of the apartment in the storm.

"On the seas of the heavens, waves of cloud arise. The moon, a boat," He recited, as if sensing her disquiet.

"Amongst a forest of stars, rows on hidden, or so it seems," She finished, relaxing. She scoured her brain for a moment, trying to figure out another, and could only come up with those she'd been studying on her break for fun. Almost all of which were love poems. She wanted to smack herself for not sitting down with a mirror and having a long talk with herself sooner.

"Up till dawn will I wait for you," She began.

"Lily-seed dark my hair, upon which frost has formed," He finished. "The leaves of bamboo grass,all over the mountain with silken rustles sound."

"Yet I dream of my darling, for I am parted from her," She finsihed the waka with a sigh. "Well, that proves it. I am one of those girls. If I bring home a guy, please tell me I'm being an idiot."

"You would resent me for it."

"Remind me of this," She groaned. "I'm such a dork."

"The manyoshu has many beautiful poems in it," He told her. "And many of the love poems contained therein are perhaps some of the finest ever written."

"I never pegged you for a romantic," She chuckled.

"Dawn and dusk is the time I see my darling, yet seeing her is as if I've seen her not. How much do I love her," He recited in a gentle cadence, pulling the poem from memory.

"I wish I had that recorded," She finally said, needing to break the strangeness that had settled over the room.

"Doubtless my brother would pay a fortune for such," He retorted wryly. A knock sounded at the door and he walked over. She could hear whoever delivered the beer complaining about the stairs before Sesshoumaru gave one of his signature growls and slammed the door in his face. When he turned, he held a much bigger box than she had anticipated.

"Wow," She said when he brought it over and sat it on the table.

"You said you had never tried beer before. There are many kinds, and people have their own preferences."

"What's yours?"

"This one," He said, pulling an ornate bottle from the box. It almost looked like a wine bottle. She knew a little english, but couldn't translate what was on the bottle. "Chimay," He said, the name sounding strange as he said it. "I will go retrieve glasses."

He brought back several, and she wondered if she would be ushering in the new year drunker than Eri. When he poured, the dark liquid that came out foamed and he handed her the glass. She took a tentative sip and gagged, earning a laugh.

"It might be too dark for your tastes. Try this one," He told her as he opened another bottle without the aid of a bottle opener. This time the beer was a pale gold in the candlelight, and she inhaled before sipping it.

"This is delicious," She said, taking another sip.

"It is from another brewery, located in California."

She sat her glass down and took the cheap wooden chopsticks from their slip and broke them open.

"So how did you get into drinking beer?" She asked. "You don't seem the type."

"Business meetings. I do not like the smell of liquor, and wine is generally frowned upon in certain circumstances. Since I have discerning tastes-"

"You're picky," She accused, taking another sip of her beer.

"I began trying some out. It turns out that beer is not unlike wine for some people. There are those that put years into making it, and those that critique it like wine tasters. I've invested in a few local breweries that seem promising."

"Maybe in your next life you can make beer," She suggested.

"It would be too much like being a chef," He said, sipping from his glass. "I am content to find what I like and indulge from time to time."

"Is that the beef?" She asked, eyeing the container in his hands.

"It is."

She reached over into it and deftly grabbed a piece of the beef with her chopsticks. It was almost to her mouth when it disappeared from the ends, vanishing into thin air.

"Not funny, alpha," She muttered.

"I'll make you a deal. I ask a question, you answer, you get a piece."

"Fine, go ahead and shoot."

"Why literature?"

"I like it," She said, maneuvering her chopsticks into the box.

"Not specific enough," He said, yanking the box away.

"You didn't say I had to be specific."

"I have the box," He pointed out.

"I like poetry, especially in the manyoshu."

He rewarded her with a piece of beef, which she snatched with her chopsticks.

"Favorite poem," He asked.

"No."

"Fair enough," He said, turning away just enough to make getting more impossible without climbing over him. She really wanted some too. The first taste had awakened a craving, and she eyed the box before shrugging her shoulders.

"Meeting in dreams is painful indeed, starting awake and reaching out, the questing hand finds nothing."

He awarded her with the box before reaching for one on the table. Seeing his movements, she quickly snatched the box up, tucking it into her lap.

"Same deal," She told him, smiling widely. He seemed resigned. "Favorite poem?"

"At least in dreams did I see you, now even that is lost to me. Should I die of love then?"

She stopped, surprised that a love poem had been one of his favorites.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, handing the box to him.

"It's alright. As with your feelings for Inu Yasha, it is long past."

"Maybe we should pick new favorites, for a new year."

"And how would we do that?" He asked.

"I have a copy in my room. We pick at random."

Before he could say anything one way or the other, she was out of the room and flying up the stairs. When she came back down, he was refilling both his and her glass with their chosen beers and eating from one of the boxes. Ignoring propriety, she jumped over the back of the couch and settled at the end.

"Open and flip it to a random page for me," She commanded as she handed him the book. Grabbing her glass, she took a healthy swallow and closed her eyes. The pages of the book flipped.

"Now," He told her.

Her finger moved to the page and settled on a spot. She opened her eyes and began reading.

"On heaven's river, the mists rise and drift across. "'It's today! Today!" My awaited lord has set off in his boat, I think.'Another love poem?" She groaned.

"Perhaps it is a sign of things to come in the new year," He mocked, laughter filling his voice. She stuck her tongue out at him, not liking his teasing in the least.

"Your turn," She told him, taking the book from his hands. Closing her eyes, she flipped through the pages, back and forth for several minutes and then stopped. His eyes were closed as he reached for the book with a long, claw tipped finger. When he touched it, his gold eyes opened, and he rolled them.

"Was this intentional?"

"No, I closed my eyes. Why?"

"On the eternal course of heaven's river, over the upper shoals, spans the bridge of jewels; by the downstream shallows, a boat floats ready; when rain falls without a breath of wind, and wind blows without a drop of rain, "Not wetting your skirt, don't wait, come to me!" I cross the bridge of jewels."

"You got the first part?" She shrieked, looking down at the book. Sure enough he had chosen the part part of the waka, considered a separate poem from the one she had chosen.

"It seems the gods are laughing at us for our foolishness," He laughed as he finished his glass, draining it of the dark liquid.

"I don't think it's foolish," She muttered, feeling a little stung by his mocking. "It just had weird results."

He seemed to notice her hurt, because he shook his head and sighed. "You're correct, forgive my teasing."

"Forgiven," She told him, smiling at his reticence. "Is there any more of the beer I liked?"

"No," He chuckled. "But there is another similar."

He grabbed one of the clean glasses and poured her beer from one of the larger bottles. It foamed at the top and she took an eager sip, surprised by the lightness of the taste.

"So what will you do differently this year?" She asked. It was a familiar game with her own family,

"I can think of nothing," He laughed, a rich, relaxed sound.

"There's got to be something," She wheedled. "You're not perfect."

"Then perhaps you should tell me," He quipped, although not without a smirk. She tilted her head and imitated being deep in thought.

"You won't throw me in the shower as much?"

"That is dependent on your own behavior," He rumbled through a laugh.

"You'll read more thrillers?"

"I might be amenable to that," He conceded graciously. "And you?"

"I'll study more."

He made a rude noise and she leveled her best glare at him, wondering what he found so funny.

"If you study any more, you will disappear inside your books."

"Okay then, tell me what I should do," She quipped smartly, not smiling at all.

"You should take more time to enjoy life."

"And how would I do that?" She demanded as she poured herself another glass of beer, feeling more than slightly tipsy and warm.

"It is your choice. But life is not all about your books," He told her.

Despite the rain, which had lessened, fireworks began to go off in the distance, small bursts if colorful light.

"I think it's New years," She said with a sigh. Her chin was tilted gently and she looked up at Sesshoumaru, who was staring down at her warmly.

The kiss was soft and chaste, the kind of kiss a friend would give. Despite that, his lips were still vividly warm and soft on her own. Too shocked to do anything but sit still until he sat back, her hands came to her lips.

"I wish you luck in love this year," He told her.

"That- you stole my first kiss!" She accused, too stunned to censor the words.


	8. New Year's Day

The arrested look in his eyes did nothing to calm the nervous anxiety that began knotting in her stomach and coursed through her, her hands clenching into fists in her lap. Mortification burned her cheeks, made her feel like she was practically glowing in the dim light of the candles.

"First? You never-"

"No, I haven't had the time," She muttered, pulling away from him and hugging her middle.

For once he seemed at a loss, and she felt badly for bringing it up at all. Several minutes passed in awkward silence, perhaps the first between them.

"I'm sorry," He finally sighed. "I assumed that you had experienced-" He stopped and shook his head ruefully. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Most girls have been kissed before becoming an adult. Or getting their bachelor's," She sighed. "Anyway, thanks for the well wishes, but I said I didn't need anything like that."

"Perhaps I want for you to find someone you are happy with," He countered. "I wish to see my pack healthy and happy."

"Neither of those require me finding a man, do they?"

"No," He conceded, looking to the fireworks still bursting in the night.

"Why haven't you looked for a mate?" She finally asked. "If you can harass me about my love life, I can do the same," She added petulantly when he gave her a flat look.

"I have not had the inclination."

"But aren't you lonely?" She asked.

"Are you?" He countered.

She thought for a moment. Months ago, before moving in, she had been lonely. Her apartment had been an empty place despite it's smallness, but she had busied herself so she hadn't noticed it, not often at least. Now that she lived with him, even when he left she was never alone, because he made sure she had at least Kirara with her, and if Shippou was around, he and Souten would come have dinner with her in his place.

"No," She admitted honestly.

"I am the same," He told her with a smile. "The pack will not let me feel such. And I hope you never feel so either."

"So, we keep our noses out of each other's non existent love lives. Deal?"

"Deal," He agreed with a relieved sigh. After a time, she moved closer to him, until she was leaning into him. His arm moved over her shoulders and they spoke of her failed resolutions for the last year and the ones to come. He introduced her to new kinds of beer, laughing when she made faces at ones she didn't like, and they read from the book of old poetry. There was laughter and prodding, but there was no further mention of love.


	9. Friday The 13th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Miko Shivae brought this day to my attention. She has graciously given me a list of holidays to help me update more often, and she deserves the credit for inspiring this chapter. Thank you!

The day could not, in any way, get any worse.

First, her teacher had announced that his computer had been hacked, most likely by a belligerent student angry at their grade, because several grades had been changed and other things gone missing. And while he had hard copies of almost everything, some things would have to be resubmitted or tested again. Which meant more work. That normally wouldn't bother her. It was his apology ridden declaration that half of his notes on her thesis proposal had been lost, notes he had not yet given to her. Which meant a longer period of waiting for feedback.

Then Eri had begged her to go on a double date. One she had neither the time nor the inclination to go along with. Of course Eri had understood in her own quiet, pouting way. It hadn't stalled several questions about a possible change in the relationship between herself and Sesshoumaru. Endless, needling, embarrassing questions. After that there had been just as embarrassing suggestions. Which had led to an uncharacteristically whispered but heated argument between herself and her best friend. Sullen and pouting had become irate and thin lipped. And -blessedly- silent.

Stomping down to the bus stop, she saw one student smoking and bobbing his head to the music blasting from his earphones loud enough even she could hear. Resigning herself to a long shower when she got home -Sesshoumaru detested even a hint of cigarette smoke- she sat as far as she could from him, which wasn't far, considering he had his bag next to him, pushing him to the middle of the bench.

Minutes ticked by. She recited poetry in her head, imagining it said in Sesshoumaru's lilting, honeyed voiced, the kind her only ever had when he pulled a poem or some other ancient text from memory. It was enough to distract her until she felt something on her thigh. Something... _Burning_?

Looking down she saw the ember smoking on her leg, but didn't quite comprehend what had happened. Another second passed before her startled yelp echoed off of the plastic, three walled structure protecting the bench from the elements. Frantic, almost manic movements brushed it off of her leg, but the damage was done. The ember had burned through her cotton pants and left a small hole. And possibly a blister.

"Crap, I'm so sorry," The guy mumbled, pulling one ear bud from the shell of his ear and flicking his cigarette onto the sidewalk. "Sometimes parts of the cherry fly off when I ash."

He didn't seem particularly sorry. In fact, he barely looked affected. Jerk.

The bus rumbled up and she shouldered her bag, ignoring the other student as she boarded.

All of the seats were taken.

_Wonderful_.

A baby started screaming indignantly.

She tried to summon Sesshoumaru's voice reciting poetry.

A toddler began wailing incoherently in response to the first child's cries. It was the beginning of an exchange that drove both infants into trying to outdo one another, at least that's what it sounded like.

By the time the bus stopped near her home, she was more than willing to get off a stop early and walk the extra two blocks. If anything, she threw herself out of the bus and onto the sidewalk, ignoring the startled looks of people waiting to board.

It had rained earlier in the day, and there were the normal puddles to navigate across, all of them lingering due to the sun's stubborn refusal to make an appearance from behind the clouds. She was still a block away when she had to hug the edge of the sidewalk, wary of the road as she skirted a particularly large puddle.

A car chose that moment to speed by, hitting an equally large puddle in the road, drenching both herself and her -hopefully- waterproof backpack.

Trudging sullenly through puddles after that, not even caring when other people, some walking by under umbrellas, stared at her. Obviously her expression was dour, perhaps as stormy as the skies looked.

The concierge looked ready to say hello, but stopped when she stalked past to the elevators and angrily pressed a button. A hello rang out after her, one she returned with a tense wave, not even bothering to turn and look at the man.

Someone came up next to her.

"I've never seen you here before," The man greeted. Not man, she thought, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Boy, even if he was as old as her. Short, spiked hair stood on end, gelled into a shining, pointy helmet. He wore a jacket with her school's logo, a varsity jacket.

"My name's Jigen."

She wasn't feeling particularly friendly, especially not with the building's known party holding pain in the ass. In the past few months she'd seen enough people in the lobby to know he partied often, and apparently with great skill and determination. And booze.

"So when did you move in?" He asked as the doors dinged open. She had the urge to hit the button to close the doors before he could follow, but he was halfway in as she hit the button for her floor.

"Top floor? Wow, the top few condos are off limits to everyone, I tried getting one."

She stayed silent.

"I'm having a party this weekend-"

"No, thank you."

"Oh come on, I throw some of the wildest parties-"

"I've attended one. I don't think they're to my taste."

She was beginning to talk like Sesshoumaru, she reflected.

"Okay, that's cool. How about dinner then. I can whip up a mean ramen."

She tried not to shudder.

"No thank you," She repeated.

"Come on, you'll enjoy it," He cajoled. The doors dinged open.

"This is your floor," She pointed out, using a finger to point out of the elevator to add a little force to her statement.

"I could always come up with you," He tried, waggling his eyebrows.

"I would rather have my internal organs cut from me with a dull knife," She replied, deadpan. Hopefully it was as effective as when Sesshoumaru had said it to Eri.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it," The boy snapped as he stalked out of the elevator. She hit the door close button, hoping it would get him out of her sight a little more quickly. They slid shut and she leaned against the back wall, grateful for the resulting quiet.

Walking in to her own apartment made her feel safe again after her day of hell. Carelessly she slung her backpack onto the couch and made for the stairs. The door opened just as she was beginning her climb, and Sesshoumaru walked in looking both exhausted and irate. Haggard.

"Hey," She sighed, watching him drop his own bag on the couch as he walked by. He said nothing as he stepped up to the stairs and walked past her, his mouth a pinched, angry line.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Not now," He snapped, making her flinch.

He hadn't spoken to her like that since the feudal era, and trying not be hurt by his tone, she followed him, feeling a thousand times more miserable than she had before stepping into her apartment. It wasn't until she stepped into her room that she felt the tell tale sting of tears, and absolutely determined to keep him from knowing he'd hurt her, she stomped into her bathroom, shedding clothes carelessly as she went, not even bothering to drop them into the hamper before turning on the shower.

Despite herself, a few sniffs escaped, and she heaved a shaking, shuddering sigh. The water steamed in the room and she stepped in, grateful for the warmth that banished the chill of being soaked by the dirty street water.

When she finally emerged, she felt vaguely human, all though no less stung by his abrupt dismissal despite her attempts to rationalize it as she dressed. Still feeling too sensitive to step outside of the sanctuary of her room, she ignored checked her bag in favor of crawling into her bed and grabbing the slim volume of poetry Sesshoumaru had gifted her with the week before.

It was poetry by a man of the feudal era, although his name had been lost, and Sesshoumaru had confessed to not knowing it, only that the scrolls had been a gift from his brother. He had been the one to transcribe the poems from brittle, ancient scrolls and papers into a computer, and then had the book created specifically for her. It was one of a kind, perhaps the only other copy of the man's poems in existence.

And each poem was delicate and strong, concise and infinitely deep. A true treasure.

The tension of the day seeped from her shoulders first, then her back as she sunk deeper into the mountain of pillows on her bed, let the blanket sooth the remaining chill of winter from memory. Stanzas formed poems, and poems came together to tell an epic story of love, both quiet and sure, of danger and fear and bitter sorrow.

Halfway through the 'story' she started when there was a knock at her door.

"Come in," She allowed. Here she felt no need to lock her door, and she figured her probably knew it. The door opened on silent hinges and he stepped in, hair still damp from his own shower, and dressed in a pair of lounge pants she had found and immediately deemed 'Sesshoumaru', a white undershirt stretched over his chest.

"It's alright," She sighed, understanding the faint look of contrition in his eyes. He came over and sat on the edge of her bed, then seemingly told himself something, and slid both legs up and crossed them while she did the same.

"I am sorry for my behavior," He sighed. "Today has been-"

"Crappy?" She butted in, smiling gently.

"Stressful," He corrected.

"Same here," She sighed.

"What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" She grumbled, earning a sigh. "What about you? I don't think I've seen you like this since you found me."

Another sigh, this one deep and long suffering.

"My mother has found out that a female is living with me."

She hadn't even been aware that he had a mother, or well, more aptly, that his mother was still alive. Did she harbor the same anti human sentiments Sesshoumaru once had? Did she even know that it was a human, a miko no less, living with her son?

"Is that...Bad?"

"You remember you friend Eri's-ideas?"

"She made more of them today. I recall. Vividly," She groaned, leaning back.

"My mother had her own suspicions. It was a long conversation."

"How long?"

"Too long. I was able to persuade her to stay away, however."

"Does she not like humans?"

"Correct."

Oh, okay. "I thought I knew everyone in the pack," She added quietly.

"She took another mate, perhaps two centuries ago, and has had little to do with my own pack, given it's-"

"It's what?" She asked, sensing that he was hedging around something, trying to phrase it delicately.

"Diversity."

She blinked once. Again.

Then the angry realization dawned.

"Because of Inu Yasha, right?"

"Because not all are inu. She is a traditionalist."

"Well then she can bite me," Kagome snapped, grabbing a pillow and wishing _she_ had claws so she could shred it. How could a mother be so callous as to reject her son's pack, his own half brother and Shippou? She hoped the woman hated humans, especially a miko like her, just so she flinched and knew her son was associating with the enemy.

"Kagome, calm down," His voice broke through her anger and she looked up at him, seeing the frown creasing his eyebrows despite the neutral line of his mouth.

"I'm sorry," She sighed, scooting down the bed a bit and leaning in to hug him. "It just makes me mad that she doesn't accept your pack because of some silly genetic differences."

His answer was to snort.

"So," She started, leaning back and hugging a pillow. "You said today, not just a phone call. What else happened?"

"My car was totaled."

"What?" She shrieked, heart plummeting in her chest and panic spilling over. How had his mother being nosy and annoying taken precedence over his car getting totaled? "You weren't in it, were you?" She demanded, leaning forward again and grabbing his face between her hands, checking for signs of injury as she tilted it. He allowed it, eyes rolled heavenwards.

"I was driving," He admitted when she finally let go. "You will remember that I have endured much worse in the past."

"I don't care," She snapped impatiently, worry still gnawing at her despite the fact that he was obviously fine, sitting in front of her as if nothing had happened, and he was simply relating what had happened to some other man. "What happened?"

"A woman on her cellphone tried to speed through a light change and hit my car-"

"What side?"

"Driver's," He admitted, although he seemed reluctant. "She ended up with a broken nose-"

"Good," She huffed. "Serves her right."

"And the paramedics were surprised that I was unharmed."

"You were unharmed, right?" She demanded. "Nothing broken you didn't let them look at, no playing macho demon, enduring just to keep them away?"

"Nothing that I could not handle enduring," He sighed. "The police came, the woman cried convincingly, it has come down to checking the videos to see who ran the light. They seemed inclined to believe the woman."

"You're a safe driver," Kagome snapped, angry at the cops that had insinuated anything differently.

And then it hit her, really hit her.

His car had been totaled.

With him in it.

Despite his resilient body, he could be harmed, she had seen it too many times to believe otherwise. And she had selfishly been thinking of only herself and the mild nuisances she had gone through when he could have been hurt, could have been killed, just as her own father had.

Tears started before she could stop them, and she fairly threw herself into his chest, arms going around his middle as she began bawling, feeling even more mortified that she was blubbering like a baby, and despite what he had gone through, he was comforting her, wrapping his own arms around her and rumbling quietly.

"I'm sorry," She sniffed as she tried to pull back, only to have his arms tighten minutely, telling her to stay.

"There is little to be sorry for. I remember you said your father-"

"I feel so selfish," She groaned. "You were in an accident and I was thinking about some stupid people and puddles. You could have died," She added in a quiet whimper, burying her face in his chest again. Despite only having known him for a few months, he had become her friend, a close confidant. He was pack, and the very thought of losing him, of not having him around anymore terrified her and made her sniff as a new wave of tears threatened.

But something stopped them. His chest was...Shaking?

She looked up, only to see an amused smile on his face as he chuckled.

"What's so funny?" She demanded angrily.

"That you think something so small could kill me," He chuckled.

Sadness and fear drowned in the suffocating wave of pure fury. Funny, was it?

Before she quite knew what she was doing, she had pushed out of his arms and shoved him off of the bed, her hands tinged with the sparking pink of her powers, adding enough force to make sure he truly sprawled when he fell. When he got up, his eyes were narrowed.

"Miko-"

"Alpha," She snapped back, still angry that he had _laughed_ at her concern.

His youki pushed against her, shoving her rudely against her headboard. Sputtering indignantly, she pushed back with her own ki, feeling more than a flicker of triumph as he was pushed back several steps. Determined to press her advantage, she pushed again, surprised when he snarled angrily, eyes flickering with red.

"You are a rude, mean, smug, over confident jerk," She snapped.

He lunged at her despite the power pushing against him with frightening ease, and she scrambled from the bed, vacating the spot he landed on.

This was not water guns or alarm clocks, a realization which came two seconds too late as she made for the door and slammed it behind her before scrambling down the stairs.

He was right behind her, and he met her down stairs, having jumped over the side of the bannister.

"Kagome," He snapped, eyes red and voice unnaturally deep. She tried swallowing, her throat constricting in her paranoia.

"Alpha?" She murmured, hunching her shoulders and closing her eyes tight, fearing his retribution.

A deep, shuddering sigh and the pulsing youki around her relaxed, withdrew. Her own reiki quieted, no longer feeling the threat in the air.

"I apologize for trivializing your fear. It was thoughtless," He said, hand going under her chin and forcing it to tilt up. She opened her eyes, surprised to see that while the lines on his face were still jagged and crimson still washed over his normally golden eyes, he looked truly contrite.

"I'm sorry I used my powers against you," She sighed, shoulders drooping. "It was wrong."

He nodded and hugged her, pulling her into a solid, one armed embrace that let her know she was forgiven.

"Jigen tried flirting with me today," She said at last, hoping to break the strange tension between them. His body tensed in response, not the reaction she'd been hoping for.

"How did you respond?" He asked quietly, not letting her go.

"I told him I'd rather have my organs cut from me with a dull knife."

His laughter was perhaps the most rewarding moment of the day, making everything seem small and unimportant, even their own not quite but heated 'argument'.

"Come," He sighed, still chuckling as he took her hand and led her back up the stairs. When they got to her room, she saw the door was off one of it's hinges. Privacy would be difficult until it was fixed.

"Shippou will know how to fix it," He said, noticing her gaze. She nodded despite the fact that Shippou was out of town again for another gallery showing. He sat across from her on the rumpled bed and waited for her to pull the blankets around herself.

"Tell me how your day went," He commanded gently as the red began to bleed away, revealing burnished gold.

She began going over her argument, her teacher's lost files, the cigarette burn, the bus, her abrupt soaking and finally her elevator ride with Jigen. Little by little they both relaxed, the normalcy of her own problems being a sort of comfort. Nothing overly large, nothing too bad, but combined-

When she finished, he scooted up next to her and let her lean against him as she released her own long suffering sigh.

"It seems today was just a bad day," She sighed, feeling him nod more than seeing it.

"I would rather have had mine than yours," He admitted.

"And I would have rather had mine than yours," She rebutted, nodding. His he has survived, she probably would not have. He would probably have murdered someone if he had endured her day, and unlike the feudal era, he could no longer get away with homicide.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Hnn?"

"Could you read to me?" She asked, grabbing the small book and holding it out hopefully. He took it and opened it up to the first page. She had been halfway through the story when he had interrupted, but she didn't mind when he started at the beginning, his voice a soothing rumble as he began reading aloud.

After a time his voice grew strained, and she took the book from him then, beginning to read where he had left off. They traded off and on, and he left the bed only once, to grab a glass of water for them both to share. She didn't comment on the sharing, too caught up in the story and the simple pleasure of reading with him to even think about it.


	10. Opposite Day

The dull gray of the sky loomed, stretching into the distance, and not for the first time that week she wished for giant blinds to go over the wide expanse of windows that made the outer walls of the condo. For the past two weeks it had been nothing but gray clouds covering the sun and keeping everything shadowed and dim. Even studying was becoming difficult, the oppressive weight of the gloomy sky bearing down on her from the other side of the glass like an unseen hand.

"Argh," She growled, running her hands through her hair. The front door chose that moment to open, and Sesshoumaru stepped in. She turned, ready for any distraction from her paper and the uncooperative weather. He removed the bracelet with a fluid grace that bespoke years of habit and his features paled and bled into their natural state.

"You look frustrated," He observed quietly as he sat the bracelet down and removed his suit jacket. Even though she'd been living with him for months, the sight of him in a tie was still jarring, and she was grateful he was removing it and laying over the back of the couch with his jacket.

"The weather sucks. I can't concentrate at all," She admitted, righting herself in the chair as he walked over and took a seat across from her at the table.

"It is winter," He replied in an even voice, eyes going to the cloud muddied sky outside of the condo.

"I know," She groaned, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. "But it's been like this for two weeks. Barely any sun, no warmth unless I'm in here, and everything is just dead. Even the park looks like it got hit by death. Gray, everywhere."

When she leaned forward to prop her chin on her hands, he was watching her intently, looking vaguely amused.

"When is your paper due?"

"Not for another week," She grumbled, looking down at the offending text and notebook. Her notes were little more than absent scribbles and meandered over the page, a sure sign she was getting antsy.

"You have class tomorrow, don't you?"

She nodded, wondering what he was thinking. When he shrugged and gave her an indulgent smile, she stuck her tongue out and watched him leave the table. He said nothing further as he padded over to the kitchen to begin their evening ritual of making dinner. Giving up on her paper for the moment, she followed.

"You will learn to cook tonight," He rumbled in his quiet way, tone authoritative.

"I can cook," She retorted, watching as he pulled out the paper package he'd brought home the day before. Several other objects followed, each sat on the counter with care before he turned to her with an arched brow.

"Ramen and other instant foodstuffs do not count as cooking."

"I can boil-"

"Wash your hands," He rumbled, brow arching even further.

"Yes, alpha," She muttered, washing her hands in the sink before moving so that he could wash his own.

The array of vegetables on the counter was impressive, and there was fruit as well. Still unsure what was in the butcher's package, she waited patiently as he finished. Within seconds he was at the cutting board, unwrapping the package in his hands.

"Tonight we'll experiment," He told her, voice warm as he revealed two large, red steaks. "This is salmon."

Experimenting was her forte. She'd done it countless times in the past. But that had been because desperate times called for desperate measures. The two fillets he was handling looked expensive and tasty enough on their own. With her luck, she'd not only make them inedible, but set the kitchen on fire in the process.

"Come here," He commanded. She stayed right where she was, staring the fillets down. An exasperated sigh breathed out, the only sign of his impatience as he took her by her wrist and pulled her toward the cutting board.

"I don't think-"

"I do. Listen to your alpha," He commanded, voice giving little room for argument. She had to try anyway.

"Sesshoumaru, the last time I cooked anything, re-hydrated youkai demolished half of my school," She warned.

"This salmon will not come back to li-You tried cooking youkai and brought them back to life?" He asked, her words catching up with him. His incredulous look was so out of place she would have laughed in other circumstances. But it was directed at her. Because of something she'd done. Which meant it wasn't funny.

"I didn't know boiling them would bring them back to life," She muttered, flushing hotly. He was quiet for a moment before his brow relaxed and a smile tilted up one corner of his mouth. The laughter in his eyes remained, however.

"This salmon will not come back to life," He told her, finishing his earlier statement. "Right now we're going to give each one a simple rub."

"A rub?" She imagined caressing the fillet. It was a laughable image where Sesshoumaru massaged the fish.

"Yes, hand me the herbs I pulled out." She turned and grabbed the small bundles of fresh herbs. He looked at each one and picked four before giving her the others to put back in the fridge. When she turned back to him, he was mincing them so quickly that she was sure he would cut himself with the knife he was using. The sound of the knife hitting the big wooden cutting board echoed through the apartment as he turned all four bundles into small piles of greenery.

"This is a dry rub, which means I won't be putting them in oil first," He told her as he mixed the ingredients. "Come here."

She stood next to him and watched as he grabbed a handful of the chopped greenery and began rubbing it into the red meat of the fish. His fingers were sure and firm as he handled the fillet, and she realized she had been right. He was massaging it.

Despite her own misgivings about their venture, her mind flashed over to an image of him massaging her, which was as surprising as it was unwelcome. As soon as the image popped up, she was stuffing it down into the box it had sprung from with a stern lecture.

"Do you see?" He asked, completely oblivious to her blush, for which she thanked the gods.

"Yeah," She mumbled, taking the other fillet and trying not to flinch at the feel of it in her hands. The meat was smooth and slippery, and the herbs were soft, almost crushed from his earlier ministrations with a knife. Mimicking his movements, she awkwardly rubbed the herbs into the meat, willing her blush away.

"It's alright, I know you haven't done this before," He murmured as he continued. "Be light, or you could make the meat fall apart."

He thought she was embarrassed because she didn't know what she was doing. Good. Better than the alternative. Making her grip lighter, she continued until he sat his own fillet down and reached for a baking dish. In seconds he had them sitting in the fridge, covered in plastic wrap to sit.

"What now?" She murmured as he gave her a knife and began washing a pear.

"Now we experiment," He chuckled and gave her the pear. "Chop that."

He picked vegetables at random, sometimes asking her what she thought would taste good, and halfway through came up with the idea for pear salsa, which made her wonder if he even had taste buds. But she accepted the other ingredients and chopped and minced dutifully, putting them into a bowl when she was finished.

He used a spoon to taste it, eying the bowl thoughtfully as he handed the spoon to her with an air of absentmindedness. She tasted it, surprised that it actually did prove to be good.

"It's missing something," He murmured, looking to her.

"Ginger?" She ventured hesitantly, afraid she was saying something stupid. But it lacked bite, and she liked the taste of ginger. He nodded once, smiling as he turned and rummaged through the cupboard. The powdered ginger was peppered in lightly and she stirred as he did, surprised by the content smile lazing on his lips.

When he tasted it again, the smile widened slightly, an almost miniscule amount, but she noticed. Right up until he filled the spoon up again and offered it to her. She took the bite and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and smiling widely.

"It's good," She said, flushing under his intent stare. He nodded once and took the bowl from her, wrapped it and sat it in the fridge.

"Now we wait for both to marinate before cooking the salmon," He told her. "And you need to work on your paper."

She nodded, feeling less antsy than she had before. When she sat back down to her paper, he brought his laptop and worked across from her, fingers tapping lightly on the keys as he worked on a project of his own. Able to finally focus on her work, she barely noticed when he stood, jumping when his clawed finger tapped her shoulder lightly.

"We're not finished yet," He chuckled, leading her back into the kitchen. She watched as he took out the salmon and grabbed a pan from the rack hanging from the ceiling. With a careless splash he put something into the pan and turned on the stove, then put the salmon, herbs and all, into the pan.

"You know fish is done when it begins to flake," He told her, turning the fillets over.

Slightly awed by his ease in flipping the fillets by tossing the pan, she listened with half an ear. She knew he liked cooking, but she'd never taken the time to notice his comfort while he did so. It fit with the new Sesshoumaru, but it was still strange to her. He was completely relaxed, completely at ease with himself.

"These are almost done," He said, glancing at her. "Would you like to set the table?"

She took that as a quiet command to clear the table, their work going onto the coffee table and plates being set out. He warmed up rice and seconds later he was bringing over two plates that looked like he had whisked them away from some five star restaurant.

"This is good," She exclaimed after a tentative bite. He nodded, obviously savoring the food he was chewing. The salsa was cool, and the salmon warm, the rice perfectly fluffy. She felt a moment of amazement and triumph. She had cooked something and the apartment was still in one piece. And it was delicious.

Dinner was finished in silence, and after she'd immersed herself in her paper, he surprised her with a cup of hot chocolate before retreating to his room.

* * *

The morning sky was cloudy and gray, just as it had been the day before. Since she was still learning to drive and had no license, she shivered and chattered all the way to the bus stop. Other students were shivering as well, and she prayed to the gods to keep it from raining. The skies threatened to open up at any moment and drop a deluge on their heads.

But when she arrived, the sleek silver sports car was waiting on her, the driver quiet as she gratefully yanked the door open and hopped in, feeling only mildly sorry for her fellow students as they stared enviously.

"Thanks, it's so cold today," She mumbled, unwinding her scarf in the warmth of the car.

"One does not let pack fall ill," He chuckled as she relaxed into the heated seats, instantly feeling like a melting ice cube. Intent on savoring the warmth, she barely noticed that they missed the turn to go back to their apartment. Confused when she saw that they were traveling further and further from their building, she turned to Sesshoumaru with a questioning glance.

"It's a surprise," He murmured, not even looking at her as he navigated traffic. She nodded, even more confused than she was before. When she saw the airport, she looked at him again, hoping for an answer. None was forthcoming as he parked.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," He repeated as they got out. Now bewildered by his actions, she followed him inside, missing her scarf as he walked past everyone to the security checkpoint and flashed a card. They were ushered away from everyone else and led away from the crowds and directly past other checkpoints. She could hear planes rumbling outside of the building, and the noise became louder until they finally came to an exit. The man that had walked with them bid them a quiet goodbye, almost lost in the vibrations of the walls before Sesshoumaru nodded and opened the door.

A small jet was waiting, stairs down, and a man in a pilot's uniform was waving at them, holding onto his hat.

"Sesshoumaru-"

"Surprise," He told her, walking to the jet. Following like a lost puppy, she was grateful for the hand he offered to help her up the stairs, her extra layers of clothing making it difficult to get up on her own. The jet was small enough that it only had eight seats, but it was luxurious for it's smallness. Feeling pampered as she took a seat, he took the one across from her and smiled at her apparent awe.

"Sesshoumaru, I have no idea what you're planning, but this-"

"Is my jet," He informed her, his voice hinting at laughter.

"You have a jet?" It sounded so dumb, and she knew it did, but still. His own jet?

"I have had a surplus of time to accumulate wealth, and it aids in my work with the council." He was removing his suit jacket and smiling, obviously pleased with himself as she began shrugging out of her own jacket. The interior was warm and since she figured they had time, she made herself comfortable.

The plane took off smoothly, so much so that she barely noticed it's ascent. After fifteen minutes of sitting in silence, he stood and walked to a small cupboard and pulled out two plates. They proved to be better than any food she'd eaten on a flight, the steak still perfectly warm and the vegetables crisp.

"Sesshoumaru, when will you tell me where we're going?"

"I won't. You'll see when we get there."

Insufferable really, but she let it slide. After all, he had obviously put some thought in to the surprise, and she didn't want to ruin it by poking too much. Besides, the view from the windows took them above the oppressive clouds, and she savored the blue of the sky as the jet took them closer to their destination.

Too soon the pilot announced that they would begin their descent momentarily, and she leaned back, once again allowing curiosity to get the better of her. Before she could ask however, Sesshoumaru was leaning forward, a sleeping mask in his hands.

"What?" She stuttered, leaning away from the mask.

"A surprise," He rumbled, looking slightly chagrined. Afraid of making him angry after the effort he'd put into the surprise, she allowed him to slip it over her head, leaving her world in darkness.

The plane descended with little fanfare, and he helped her into her jacket and then led her slowly but surely off of the jet itself, giving her support so that she didn't stumble down the stairs. His hand was strong, warm beneath her own as he led her to a car where he helped her sit, and then closed the door. Every sound was magnified, and she struggled for clues to their location, but heard only cars and planes, until even the sound of the planes faded.

"Are we on a highway?" She asked as they drove.

"We are," He acknowledged.

"Can't I at least have a clue?" She whined.

"No."

"Alpha-"

"Correct."

"Please."

"No."

"Just one hint," She begged while fidgeting, wishing she hadn't agreed to wear the sleep mask.

"Patience."

"I suck at that."

"Now is the time to practice," He told her, voice lilting with laughter again. Huffing and crossing her arms, she slumped in her seat and tried to listen for any other noises. An eternity passed, marked only by the sound of cars fading from dozens into a few, and then into the solitary sound of their own driving along.

When he stopped and turned the car off, her hands were at the mask, ready to take it off. A noise in the back of his throat stopped her however, and she let them fall back to her sides. Patiently waiting for the moment he took the mask off, she let him open her door and lead her out. The air was warmer by far, and she took off her coat, letting him take it. Her long sleeved shirt and sweater proved to be enough as he took her hand in his large one, devoid of claws, and begin guiding her.

As the ground became uneven, she held more tightly to his rough, callused hand in an attempt to keep from falling. When he stopped she turned to where she thought he was.

"We are at stairs. Would you like to walk or-"

"Or?" She asked.

"We are the only ones here that I can sense, I can carry you up them much more quickly." His voice held an eager note, and she smiled at the sound, strangely warmed by it.

"What does the mighty alpha prefer?" She asked, unable to stop her giggle.

"I have always preferred the efficient method."

"Efficient it is," She laughed, the gasped as he picked her up in his arms. She had expected a piggyback ride, similar to Inu Yasha. But he was holding her close, grip tight as the air rushed around them. His chest was solid beneath her face, and despite the rushing of air she could hear his heartbeat, strong and sure.

When he sat her down, she could hear and taste the salt of the sea air, and for an unsteady moment she wondered if he'd taken her to the beach.

The blindfold came off, and she gasped, eyes immediately taking in the sight of the sea stretching forward into the distance. The sun was still hidden behind clouds, but they held little of the gray gloominess of Tokyo's skies, and the sea was dark blue, the white waves cresting in the distance.

She spun to thank him for bringing her when she saw it. Behind him were bits of pink speckling the trees, which had leaves. Green, vivid leaves.

"We're at Nago," She breathed, eyes widening as she walked over to the cherry blossom tree with it's light green foliage and multitude of unopened buds. There were a handul of open blossoms, giving her a view of what would come in later weeks, reminding her of what would soon come in Tokyo.

"You said everything seemed dead in the city," He murmured as he came up next to her. Long tapered fingers moved over her head to break a small twig from the branch, an open cherry blossom resting on the tip. When he held it out to her, she cradled it in her palm, as awed by it as she was by the fact that he'd flown her almost a thousand miles so she could see the first blooms of the trees.

"Sesshoumaru," She murmured, voice wobbling dangerously.

"Was this not-" He began, looking, for the first time, slightly uncertain.

"Thank you," She mumbled, throwing her arms around him, careful not to crush the delicate bloom in her hand. "This is amazing."

"I'm glad."

And he sounded truly glad that she was so happy. Taking his hand, she led him down a path, away from the sight of the sea and into the grove of trees. Ignoring the set path, she pulled him down the mountain and into the thick of the cherry blossom trees. Some where blooming more than others, but all of them were vivid and bright after the past weeks in the city. Breathless and giddy, she drunk in the sight of them, tried to memorize every tree as she laughed like a child while he let her lead him along.

Time lost meaning as they meandered, and when the sun began it's descent, he began leading her once again. They came back to the mountaintop, and she held the flower close to her heart, silently watching the sun set with him. At first it was barely noticeable, and they both sat, eyes on the china sea. Tired from her explorations, she leaned against him and didn't complain when his arm went over her shoulder.

The sun's setting became more vivid, more intense as reds and pinks and oranges tinted the sky in vivid contrast to the blue sea. The water seemed to catch fire for a breathtaking moment, earning another delighted gasp. His rumbled of agreement thrummed through her, and she looked up at him, surprised to see that he'd removed the bracelet while she'd been looking at the ocean. His own features were tinted with golds and reds and oranges, making his eyes all the more vivid and alive.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Hnn?"

"Thank you for this, it's wonderful."

He rumbled again, almost a purr. Falling back into their companionable silence, she watched the sun sink lower and lower, the world growing darker as it disappeared little by little. His body was solid and warm next to her own, strong. Snuggling deeper into his warmth as the sea air grew cooler, she watched the last sliver of the sun disappear with no little regret.

But their viewing was apparently not over. One by one the stars began to appear, and she found a new delight in the night. As the hour grew late, more and more stars seemed to burst into being, catching her notice and making her sigh in appreciation.

"It's late," He murmured. Understanding the gentle nudge for what it was, she stood and stretched, eyes still on the stars. Wordlessly he picked her up, and she let him, this time enjoying the short flight down the mountain even more now that she could see. All the world was a blur except for his face and the stars beyond it.

Still awed by the magnitude of the gesture, she remained silent, almost dazed as they drove back to the airport and parked in the hangar next to the jet. She was pleased that when they were finally above the clouds again, the stars were vivid and bright, and looked almost close enough to touch. Dinner was likewise a silent affair as she stared out the window, not even tasting her food.

Tokyo was a loud, bright city in the darkness, and despite that it was unable to break through her haze of quiet pleasure. They were in a bubble as they traveled through the world, one that sounds bounced off of in deference to their companionable silence. Even the elevator seemed to open and close more quietly as they waited to step into their apartment.

It wasn't until they were about to part ways for their rooms when she stopped him, and hand on his arm.

"I can't thank you enough," She murmured, smiling softly up at him. "For last night or today. It's helped and been-" She paused, unsure of what to say next. "Marvelous," She finally finished, hoping the simple word conveyed her gratitude.

"I wish to see you happy," He answered, as if the answer was obvious. She nodded in return, smile widening just a little.

"Good night, alpha."

"Good night, Kagome."

As her eyes closed for the night, the last thing she saw was the tiny flower on her nightstand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Nago, which is 950 some odd miles from Tokyo, has sakura blooming as early as mid January. While it's not an official holiday, it's a time that Japan looks forward to, because it's a small breath of spring in winter. So, while it's not an 'official' holiday, it still seemed like a nice idea.


	11. Bath Tub Safety Month

Furtively, almost like she was committing a crime, she slipped out of her clothes and stepped into the bathtub, sighing as the warm water worked magic on her tense muscles. Flames all over the room cast dancing shadows as she lowered herself into the bathtub, moaning appreciatively. Bubbles clung to her skin, blanketing her in modesty. It was utter hedonism after a long week.

Tension seeped away as she leaned against the wall of the tub and grabbed the book on the floor. Embarrassed, as if she was being watched, she opened it slowly, eyes going to the door. She knew no one would walk in. Sesshoumaru was the only person that lived with her, and he never invaded the sanctuary of her room without asking. Still, she felt the need to check and make sure the coast was clear. Once satisfied, she started to read.

Page after page turned, and occasionally she would run a little more hot water into the tub, using her foot to turn the knob. Bubbles popped and left only murky water in their wake. Candles burned lower and she worried her lip as she was sucked into stories and poems. Her stomach growled and she ignored it in favor of running a little more water and turning another page. Blushes warred with chuckles, sometimes curious mumbling and little gasps of shocked disbelief.

When she finished, she sat the book on the floor and leaned back, letting her head rest on the rim. Some of the poetry and stories had been ridiculous. But some had been beautiful, and she had spotted a few that had to have been by the same man or woman, and they had been captivating. Lingering words painted a picture in her imagination as she closed her eyes and let herself wonder what had inspired the long gone poet.

The world of the past unfolded and she was drawn in, meshing her own memories with those of the author's until their world's became one and she was drifting off.

It wasn't until she woke up to loud...very loud knocking that she realized she'd fallen asleep.

Why was Sesshoumaru banging on her door? Her bathroom door?

"Yes?" She called out, sinking lower into the tepid water.

"You didn't answer," He answered, deep voice muffled by the door. "I had worried you'd hurt yourself."

So he was knocking? Uttering a small, heartfelt thanks to the ceiling that he hadn't come in and seen her asleep in the tub, she leaned forward and unplugged the drain, wondering if he had left.

"I'm fine, just fell asleep," She called back, flushing hotly. There was something strange about speaking to him while she was naked, something awkward and uncomfortable.

There was no response, and she stood, feeling less exposed now that he was gone. Reaching for the towel on the counter, she noticed her book sitting on top of it and moved it away absent absentmindedly, wishing the towel warmer was closer to the tub so she could have used it.

And then it struck her.

She distinctly remembered setting the book on the floor, within easy reach. She could have only put it on the towel if she had stood up, which she knew she had not. Which meant...

Her blush came back a hundred times stronger, burning her face and neck.

He had come in and seen her asleep. In her tub.

Naked.

She dried off far more slowly than usual trying not to feel as if her personal space had been invaded. She reasoned with herself and knew that he had probably been worried. Sesshoumaru never did something without reason, and she knew he wouldn't invade her personal space for anything less than honest concern. Logic told her that he had probably knocked before and, upon receiving no answer, worried that she had hurt herself. After checking, he'd gone back out and knocked to save her from any embarrassment.

But the book. Not only had he seen her naked, he'd seen the book she'd been reading, which made it so much worse. Not only would he recognize what it was by the title alone, he had probably, at some point in his long life, read some of the contents. Possibly all of them.

Grumbling under her breath as she peeked out of the bathroom door and saw her room empty, her door closed.

Yet his presence lingered. As if the walls themselves had soaked up his aura, she felt like he was still there, watching. Mortification made her dash for her dresser and quickly pull on her pajamas before almost throwing herself into her bed and pulling the blankets up to her nose.

But then he would know she knew. If she acted like she was mortified, he would realize she knew he'd seen her and the book. Then things would just be weird and awkward, the opposite of what they'd been for months.

Damn it. It wasn't as if the book was actual pornography. It had a historical context, which had been the only reason she'd bought it. But still, the subject matter was...Well, it was sexual. The shunga were sexual by their nature, and the small volume of collected stories and poetry were all based around intimacy. But given that they were all from the feudal era...

It didn't help. Calling it historical only worked when you weren't living with someone that had lived through that time period. He had probably read them back then, maybe.

Or maybe she was lucky and he hadn't. He'd never professed any sort of interest in that sort of thing. Then again, he had never shown interest in anything other than war.

She knew he'd been in love before, at least once. But she had never thought of him in the context as a sexual being. It just hadn't occurred to her. She knew in some dim sort of way that he had, at some point, been active, might be even now. However, that was the same dim understanding that thousands of people were, possibly almost everyone she spoke to. People probably assumed it about her.

Shaking her head to derail it from the path it was taking, she hopped off of her bed and steeled herself, readying for facing him down. Hopefully he would think her embarrassment stemmed from falling asleep in the tub. Which was true, in a sense.

When she got downstairs, there was a note on the table telling her that her dinner was in the fridge, and nothing else.

Until that moment, it hadn't occurred to her that he might have been just as embarrassed as she was.


	12. The Day The Music Died

Knowing how sensitive his hearing was she kept the music on her cd player turned down as low as possible while bopping around the kitchen, humming to the surprisingly catchy beat pulsing through her earphones. Given her grasp of english she was able to understand the lyrics and appreciated them even though she wasn't fond of the man's accent. Unlike most of the music she heard from her own generation, there was a simplicity to the music, the instrumentals lacking the bells and whistles new technology had given modern musicians.

Unable to stop herself from bopping her head or even twisting her hips, she fixed herself a sandwich and a glass of juice, dancing all through the kitchen as she did so and humming even louder. While she worked on her paper she tapped her foot against the floor, and when she took a break and put her dishes in the dishwasher she was humming to a soft song, swaying gently to it, completely unaware of her surroundings, and thus completely unaware that her roommate had come home. When she closed the dishwasher, she spun on her heel and almost missed him as he stood still, staring at her as if she'd grown another head.

The earphones were tugged out of her ears so quickly she was positive she'd done some sort of damage, although whether it was to herself or to the buds she wasn't sure, her attention focused solely on the daiyoukai that had a strangely perturbed look on his face.

"H-hi," She finally mumbled, embarrassed that she had been caught acting like-like-

No one was watching. If he had been home she never would have danced like that, or hummed. Or anything. That Sesshoumaru, the personification of smooth and dignified had caught her dancing like a teenage girl...That was almost as mortifying as knowing that he knew she had read a collection of shunga stories. The strange tension between them had persisted since then, and they'd barely spoken despite her best attempts to pretend everything was normal.

"What are you listening to?" He finally asked, still staring at her strangely.

"Buddy Holly. My english teacher is a huge fan, and she burned us cds so that we could listen and write a report on-" She began, stopping when his eyes closed slowly. "Is everything alright?"

"The day the music died."

How did he know that? Her teacher had been on and on about it all day, speaking wistfully of a time before her birth and music she had never been able to hear live. The music was good, but she didn't understand the teacher's attachment. Sesshoumaru however, he had been alive, might have even listened to the music, although she was having a hard time correlating it with the demon she knew.

"Did you like Buddy Holly?" She asked, hesitant.

"No," He sighed, looking strangely wistful. "I worked with a woman that did."

Unsure how that figured into it, she watched the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly, and wondered if the woman had been someone he had loved, like Rin.

"We were friends. She was a strong woman, far ahead of her time, even for America."

Well, obviously she was gone, and he had just as obviously felt an attachment to the woman. Had they been lovers? There was something oddly appropriate about it, him falling for a progressive american woman. Was this another person in his life that had changed him, that he had loved?

"She loved Buddy Holly, even forced me to one of his shows. Both she and her lover had a wonderful time forcing me to dance."

Lover. That implied several things, but didn't answer the question she wanted to ask.

"She forced you to dance?"

"Hnn. It was highly undignified, but she had a way of dragging people into things."

"I can't imagine you dancing to this," She admitted, smiling as he shrugged, expression one of slight embarrassment.

"The day they announced his death, she and her lover came to my penthouse, I was working in America at the time. Both of them were wrecks, drunk and crying as if they'd lost their husband. I danced with them, when asked."

"You danced with a man?" She asked, sputtering as the image of Sesshoumaru, dancing with a man, popped into her head.

"They were both women," He chuckled. "Vera was very progressive for her time."

"Oh." It didn't answer the question on his feelings for her, but he didn't seem saddened by the memory, or the at the mention of her name like he had with Rin. Just-Nostalgic, maybe.

"Give me the disk," He murmured, hand out. She unclipped her disk player from her belt and handed him the burned disk, watched him go over to the cd player discreetly hidden in some cabinetry. Seconds later the strange tones of the man's voice drifted out through the hidden speakers and he was smiling that small, knowing smile.

"Vera was perhaps one of my best friends. She died in the eighties, an old woman. Prudence followed her not long after. I would visit them a few times a year, and we always danced."

"I don't believe it," She admitted, going over to the living room and plopping down on the couch. "I can't picture you dancing to this."

He seemed ready to say something, and the song changed. For a moment he looked hesitant, and then he reached forward and pulled her from her spot, tugging her onto her feet.

"Sesshoumaru, what are you-"

"Teaching you how to dance," He rumbled, laughter lacing his tone as his hands lightly gripped her own.

"This is-"

"Too old fashioned?" He asked, brows raised mockingly. She stuck her tongue out at him as he helped guide her through the room, neatly circumventing the furniture. He was a good lead, and made it easy to fall into the steps. It helped that the dancing was not close, was not intimate. It felt almost like a dance with her brother as he helped guide her. She supposed that a woman like Vera would have been more comfortable with a dance like that, at least with a man. That Sesshoumaru danced though, was still strange, although he gave her little time to dwell on it as he showed her the steps. There was a happiness in his gaze, and she wondered what it was like for him to have a part of his history brought alive for him in such a way. He seemed happy, and she felt strangely elated, that she'd provoked that joy.

But when the music slowed, he pulled her closer and she wondered if he had danced closely with Vera and Prudence, because his hands were on her hips and pulling her closer to his body. She stumbled, immediately embarrassed even as she tried to shrug it off. If lesbians had been okay dancing that closely with him, she definitely should be.

"Are you alright?"

"The steps are a little confusing," She admitted.

He went slower, and she fumbled through the steps, feeling clumsy and childish as he walked her through them and then began to move more quickly. After she stepped on his toes for the fourth time she pulled away and flopped onto the couch again, begging for mercy. His rich laughter filtered through the room in stark contrast to the musician's higher tones.

"You were the one that dared me to dance," He chuckled as he sat next to her.

"I didn't dare you," She huffed, smacking his arm, flushing at her own ineptitude.

"Saying you can't imagine me doing something is a dare," He rumbled, still chuckling lightly.

"Oh, really?" She asked, unable to stop the smile blooming on her face. He stopped laughing, immediately casting a suspicious glance down at her.

"Perhaps," He murmured. She could see him mentally backpedaling even as she hopped off of the couch and walked over to her bag. When she had what she wanted, she came back and handed him the small package.

"I can't see you blowing bubbles," She told him. He regarded her warily, and with good reason. Her sudden good cheer was enough to give away that she was plotting, and they had played enough pranks on one another that he knew whatever the results were going to be, he probably wouldn't like them.

Regardless, he took one of the squares out and began chewing on it, and she giggled as she watched. He looked so awkward, as if he had never chewed gum before. For a brief moment she was tempted to ask if he had, but he looked wary enough, and she really, really wanted him to blow a bubble.

Except he couldn't. She saw him trying, but something was going wrong.

Instead of commenting, she took one of the little cubes out and began chewing, then silently showed him how to blow a bubble. He watched intently as she did so, and when she began blowing, his brow quirked.

A clawed finger came up.

Her face was half covered in the sticky substance.

"Jerk," She muttered, peeling it off of her skin.

"You were planning to do it to me," He commented in an offhand manner before blowing an impressively large bubble. Her own hands were busy trying to remove the gum from her face to pop it, even though she desperately wanted to, if for no other reason than to wipe the triumphant smirk from his face. Muttering darkly she went to the kitchen and threw away the gum before washing her face to get rid of the sticky residue. He came over and trashed his gum, then watched her, smirking all the while.

He had the grace to ignore her muttered cursing as she finished.

"You know," She sighed, using a paper towel to dry her face. "I don't know much about you. You've told me some of the things you've done, some of your careers and interests, but you've never really talked about people before."

His smirk faded into a thoughtful line, his brows furrowing. "There have not been many to talk about," He finally admitted. It was strange to her that he had lived for so long and found so few worth remembering. It actually made her feel a flicker of pity for him.

"That makes them even more important," She murmured. "Tell me about them?"

An hour later, when he was talking about a hermit he had known centuries before, a man who collected knowledge, she reflected that the strange tension between them had passed. He was relaxed around her again, and she was relaxed around him. The awkward silence between them over, she laughed and poured them both a glass of wine and listened as he described the old man's odd habits.


	13. Valentine's Day

Kagome watched as Souten mixed chocolates. In the spirit of Valentine's Day, they were both making chocolate candies for their pack. Souten had come to her almost in tears because she had no idea how to make chocolates, and she wanted to do something special for Shippou now that they had settled in together. Kagome had taken the situation in hand and they had gone to the store to see what was left after teenage girls had stripped it.

"The dye was a wonderful idea," Souten sighed as she squeezed several drops of green food coloring into the white chocolate. Kagome nodded as she prepped the molds and checked the time. Shippou was busy with his work and she knew Sesshoumaru would be gone for several more hours as he went over the plans for a new building similar to the one she currently lived in.

"The blue and red are ready," She said. Kagome nodded and grabbed the blue bowl. Carefully she poured the chocolates into the molds, taking care not to burn herself.

"So how has school been?"

"It's been pretty good. My teacher was asking me if I wanted to present at a conference in a few months. It's really unexpected, to be honest. He hates pretty much everyone."

"Maybe he's hot for you," Souten laughed. Kagome shuddered dramatically.

"He's looks as old as Sesshoumaru is," She bit out, making Souten laugh wildly. Despite the centuries separating their true age, Souten acted as if she were just entering adulthood, the mantle not quite fitting her yet. Her presence in turn made Kagome feel younger, and in some ways, lighter.

"So are you going to go?"

"I don't know yet. I would like to, but the idea of presenting in front of so many people is-" She stopped and shrugged, hoping to convey how nervous the thought made her.

"I don't think it will be so bad. You live with Sesshoumaru and deal with him on a daily basis. After that anything should be a piece of cake."

"Sesshoumaru isn't bad to live with, he's actually really friendly. Besides, even if he were like his old self, I'd still choose him. At least he was honest about what he thought, and I knew where I stood. With a conference like that, you never know if you're reputation is going to survive."

"I'm so glad I'm an artist," Souten said firmly. "That way if people don't like my art I can tell them they're blind."

"So have you and Shippou set a date yet?" Kagome asked, switching topics.

"We're still trying to get everything sorted out. Part of it is trying to coordinate the packs. Since you're technically an honorary sister of Kouga's pack, that makes Shippou part of it too, and then there's Inu Yasha's branch. I always imagined a small ceremony, but it's been turning into this leviathan. I have no idea how to plan for something like that."

She felt a flicker of pity for the youkai, who looked lost for a moment, lost and suddenly very young. Setting the chocolates down, she walked over and hugged her lightly, earning a surprised yelp.

"It'll be okay. Besides, Sesshoumaru is the master of planning. You can just dump all of it on him," She added with a giggle as she moved back to the molds and began pouring more chocolate.

"How do you do it? He's the patriarch and it's like you don't care that he's the head of the pack," Souten observed.

"I care," She defended. "But Sesshoumaru is more than just my alpha, he's my friend."

"Which is strange. Shippou and Inu Yasha are the only ones I've ever seen so relaxed around him. I know it's a different age, but I can't forget the stories," Souten sighed. Kagome nodded, humming thoughtfully.

"Do you know that both Inu Yasha and Sesshoumaru tried to kill me the first time we met? Kouga too."

"It's a wonder you survived the feudal era," Souten agreed.

"Pure luck, I assure you," Kagome chuckled. "But we all knew each other back then, and I remember what you all were like, perhaps more vividly than you do. It's only been a handful of years for me. Their shift in personalities has been so big, if I didn't just accept them, I'd probably go crazy."

"I never thought about it that way," Souten admitted as she poured another bowl of chocolate, this one dyed green, in a series of molds. "I guess it is a huge jump, and I can understand. Shippou and I have been dancing around this for so long though. It scares me that we're taking the next step."

"It's natural to be scared," She replied, moving the mold trays to the fridge to cool. "It's a big change."

"Will, I mean, I know this sounds so stupid," Souten began, voice growing strangely thick. Kagome turned, eyes widening as Souten's red eyes began to water dangerously.

"What's wrong?" Kagome asked, rushing over to the other youkai and taking her hands in her own. The clawed fingertips bore painfully into her flesh, but she kept herself from flinching or making a pained noise, wanting to help the girl through whatever crisis was arising.

"I don't have any family to stand with me," The other female whimpered. "I don't even know who to ask."

It was obviously a delicate subject, and she wanted to volunteer herself, but how to do so without stepping over any boundaries or without being rude?

"Souten, I'm sure anyone would be honored to stand with you on that day," Kagome said, squeezing the hands in her own gently.

"Will you? I mean, I know you're Shippou's mother, but I'd feel so alone without anyone to present me, and you're one of the only people that knew my family," Souten whimpered, looking very alone and ready for rejection. Kagome's heart twisted, thinking about all of the orphans the jewel had created, that she'd created.

"I'm sure Shippou and Sesshoumaru will understand," Kagome told her gently. "I'd be honored to stand by you when you announce your intent." She left out mention of the thunder tribe, because she wasn't sure Souten could handle the reminder that her brothers had been responsible for the loss of Shippou's family, and that she'd been complicit in the deaths of her older brothers.

"Thank you. It's just, you've become like family to me too-"

"And I'm very happy that you have become a part of mine," Kagome interrupted the smiling youkai, squeezing her hands in what she hoped was a reassuring manner before stepping back. "And if you want, we can do the girly stuff for the wedding together, although I admit I have no idea what needs to be done either, and we'll leave all the boring stuff in Sesshoumaru's hands, hmm?"

Souten laughed at her mock whisper and tone, suggesting a conspiracy, one Sesshoumaru would doubtless not be pleased of.

"Deal."

* * *

The box was small and innocent, sitting on the nightstand next to his bed. She looked at it, wondering if setting it there was too presumptuous. After all, it was his room, and while he hadn't technically forbidden her from entering, she didn't like invading his personal space so lightly, especially after he'd allowed her free use of his home.

The whole thing was entirely academic at this point, she knew. He would be able to tell she'd entered, merely by scent alone. But there was something too embarrassing about presenting him with chocolates like a schoolgirl or lover, so sitting them somewhere he would find them had seemed the best option. Right up until she had sat them down. Somehow the placement seemed suggestive.

"It doesn't matter," She muttered. There was nothing there, and so he would assume nothing.

"Stupid," She muttered, walking over to the door and stepping out of his room, closing the door behind her gently and walking down the stairs quietly. Just as she reached the bottom the front door opened and he stepped in, his human guise still in place. There was a quiet, rumbled greeting as he slipped off his shoes first, and then followed them with the bracelet that hid his true form. Immediately she felt more comfortable in his presence as his disguise faded, revealing pale skin and even paler hair.

"You've been playing in the kitchen," He observed as he walked over to the table and slipped his jacket off and draped it over the back of his normal chair. She nodded, blushing lightly.

"Souten wanted to do something special for Shippou, but didn't know how to make chocolates."

He walked over to her calmly, and for a moment she was worried by his intense gaze, flinching when he picked up her still sore hands.

"What happened?" His voice was even and unemotional, which worried her. Rarely was he so carefully neutral with his words and handling of her anymore.

"Souten was upset-" She began.

"She did this to you?" He demanded, voice chilling.

"Not on purpose. She was afraid, because she doesn't have anyone to stand with her at the ceremony when she announces her intent. She wanted to ask me, but was afraid to, since as Shippou's mother, I would be the one to stand next to him."

He examined her hands, eyes sliding over the shadows of light bruises and the pinpricks from claws digging in. Thumbs slid over the flesh softly, his own claws barely tracing her skin as he did so. When he dropped them, he inhaled deeply, then exhaled, as if the anger was something to just breathe out.

"I take it you agreed?"

"I did. As patriarch, I thought you would stand next to him," She added, worrying her lower lip. "Is that alright?"

He nodded his agreement, still quiet as he walked over to the kitchen. She had taken the utmost care to wash everything and store the molds safely away from sight.

"Shippou will understand your choice, and no doubt appreciate it. Souten has no family left, and to have someone stand by her will ease the anxiety they both feel."

He began making dinner, moving through the kitchen with practiced ease, and she worked with him, pulling out various items and making a salad while he put chicken in the oven to bake and began doing something to the asparagus on the stove top. She watched his deft movements from the corner of her eye, impressed with how he was able to do a dozen things at once as he checked everything from time to time.

"I've been invited to make a presentation at an upcoming conference," She informed him as they sat down and began eating.

"You don't sound excited," He observed, frowning.

"The thought of it makes me nervous," She admitted. "I'm terrified of screwing it up."

"You are a diligent student, and put much of yourself into your work. I have no doubt that your presentation will be perfect."

His easy assurance in her, and even the hint of pride she heard, made her blush with pleasure, washing away her nervous tension. If he believed she could do it, she could. Oddly, it was as simple as that.


	14. Tell A Fairy Tale Day

She stared her professor down long and hard, hoping she was doing a decent imitation of her roommate. However, she was guessing her professor had endured similar looks, especially given the dean's reputation. It wasn't working.

"You can't use it unless you have the source cited. I've never read this or heard of anything like it. For all I know you made it up," The older man blustered angrily.

This was her thesis adviser? This man, someone she spent innumerable hours working with on the net and in person, was accusing her of making something up? Of lying?

She saw red.

"I have never had my integrity questioned, and I have never been so insulted before," She replied calmly, satisfied when she saw her professor's eyes widen. "I do have the source, however the owner of the scrolls has kept them mostly private. I will speak to them and see if we can come to an arrangement. Good day," She finished, turning on her heel and leaving the lecture hall with long, graceful strides.

She ignored the other students that parted around her as she stalked through the halls toward the exit and then over to an empty picnic table. Taking care not to throw her bag onto the metal for fear of damaging her laptop, she dug her phone out of her bag and searched for Sesshoumaru's number. Rarely used, she paused when she pulled up the option to call.

Opting to text message him instead, she tapped out a quick message asking if it was possible to have the scrolls with the poetry authenticated and copied for her professor.

Two minutes later her phone rang and she saw his name flashing on the screen. Feeling strangely contrite, as if she'd trespassed on his work day, she clicked to accept and put the phone to her ear.

"Kagome?"

"Hi, Sesshoumaru."

"Is everything alright?"

Did she really sound that bad?

"My professor doubts the authenticity of the poetry I wanted to present for the lecture. I just, never mind. I can find something-"

"I can have the authenticity verified, but the only person who may have a copy is you," He interrupted. "Otherwise you must ask Inu Yasha."

"Inu Yasha?"

"He gave them to me in trust many years ago."

She had a feeling he was censoring for anyone that might have been able to hear their conversation. He probably meant 'centuries'.

"Okay, I can call him and ask," She murmured. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru," She sighed, feeling better already.

"Are you sure you're alright? You sound angry."

"My professor said I could just be making it up," She groaned, burying her face in her free hand as she tried not to remember the heat the accusation brought on. Anger faded into mortification. Did her professor really think she could do something like that? Had she done something to give him the impression that she would do something so underhanded?

"When is your next class?"

"In a couple of hours. I was going to work a bit on my presentation."

"Continue working on it," He told her, voice gentle but the command clear. She nodded, flushing hotly when she realized he wouldn't be able to see it and gave a small yes before the line went dead.

Sighing heavily, she pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it, waiting patiently for it to boot up before she opened the text document filled with some of the poems from the book Sesshoumaru had gifted her with.

She'd only used some of the poetry about the battles fought by the writer. The other poems had all seemed too personal, too special to share with others, however selfish it was to keep them to herself.

Knowing she was still too emotionally off balance to concentrate on her project, she shuffled through her bag until she found the slim volume of poetry and opened it to a random page. The poem she began reading through was about making love, although the whole thing was so metaphorical it would have been lost on others.

But there was love there, so much love in the words that her heart ached.

Sesshoumaru's voice murmuring them quietly to her whispered through her mind as she read along the lines, finger tracing them lightly. Her thoughts calmed and the incident with her professor forgotten as she sunk into the poetry and imagined the world back then, and the voice of her alpha reading to her quietly.

When a bag settled onto the table she didn't look up, used to sharing space with other students, but when his voice broke through her reverie and she looked up, shocked to see him sitting across from her.

"Sesshoumaru-"

"Kagome," He murmured, opening the bag and pulling out take out boxes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Lunch," He stated simply, pulling out chopsticks and handing her a pair. She took them, eyes still on the daiyoukai across from her. He looked utterly out of place in his suit and tie, tall form folded into the picnic table. The contrast was almost ridiculous, college students dressed causally or in sweats walking by him.

"You didn't have to-"

"I wanted to."

Knowing she wouldn't get anything out of him other than that simple explanation and that protesting was pointless, she gave in gracefully and opened the takeout box, surprised to see that he had gotten fried squid and pasta, one of her favorite foods.

After trying a bite, she realized he'd gone to her favorite restaurant, one they occasionally ordered from when neither felt like cooking.

"Thank you."

He nodded and they ate in relative silence, ignoring the curious stares of passerby. Once or twice someone would approach and then back away when he looked up and gave them a singularly cold glare. She tried not to giggle when, after the third time, he sighed and closed his eyes.

"They can't help it," She chuckled, smiling sympathetically when he gave her a flat look.

"And why is that?"

"Well, you're beautiful, they can't help but be curious."

"This is not me," He huffed, obviously annoyed.

"I know that, but they don't," She reminded him gently. "I'm not sure you know how to be unappealing," She added with a a laugh.

"Your friend dislikes me," He pointed out, looking vaguely triumphant, as if Eri was enough to declare her point invalid.

"Because you took a pretty instant dislike of her and didn't bother hiding it."

"So I am only appealing at face value?" He rebutted and she couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from her throat.

"No, you're wonderful Sesshoumaru," She finally laughed. "You just don't show other people."

He nodded in agreement and was about to take another bite of his pasta when yet another woman came over, hips swinging so that her short skirt flashed her upper thighs. Kagome frowned, looking back to Sesshoumaru and then to the woman.

"Hi, my name is Miyu," She said, ignoring his cold stare and sitting down next to him. "I haven't seen you on campus," She added, smiling softly.

"I do not attend."

What wasn't the girl getting? Sesshoumaru was glaring as she scooted closer and for all the world looked ready to rip her head off. Was she blind or stupid? The air around them grew progressively colder as Miyu babbled and asked questions, ignoring the flat tone of his voice as he answered. There was no satisfaction that he gave her his last name only, because he didn't give his normal 'I despise your kind intensely' speech with it.

After five minutes she was angry.

When ten minutes passed she was bordering on enraged. She opened her book and began reading, hoping to block out the girl's voice. But nothing could block out the sound, because she was listening for Sesshoumaru to say something, anything to get her to go.

And he didn't.

Ignoring the pair she gathered her things quietly and got up, not saying anything as she walked away, knowing she'd be early to her next class but not caring. Waiting in an empty class for half an hour would be much easier than listening to that girl fawning all over Sesshoumaru.

And easier than knowing he didn't try to stop her.

With an angry huff she jerked open the door to her classroom and saw that not even the professor was there. Going to her usual spot she dropped her bag into the chair next to her and dug through it for her laptop.

She began furiously typing, ignoring when other students began to file in twenty minutes later. It wasn't until her professor stepped in that she closed to document on her presentation.

* * *

It was late when she got back, almost dark. She'd plundered the school library, and not being able to find what she had sought, gone to three different bookstores in the general vicinity of her school. If general was used loosely.

"You're late for dinner," He rumbled quietly from his spot on the couch. She saw that he was reading a mystery novel, which he closed and sat on the coffee table, gold eyes swinging to her.

"I ate while I was looking for the books I needed," She lied, still off balance from her reaction earlier that day and not wanting to examine the childish anger that still lingered.

"You left me alone with her."

It was a reprimand and an accusation all rolled into one.

"You can take care of yourself," She muttered.

"The scrolls have been dated. The paperwork is on the table," He rumbled, voice unnaturally cold as he stood and walked past her, eyes straight ahead.

"Why didn't you just tell her to go away?" She snapped at his back, wishing she could take the words back as soon as she'd said them. But for better or worse they were in the air, hanging between them and forming a wall. He turned and she stepped back, surprised by the frown tugging down the corners of his lips and the anger in his eyes.

"Why didn't you?" He demanded quietly. "There was a time when you made no secret of your feelings."

"I was fifteen and stupid," She retorted. "And that was a different time and place, and you know it."

"I _know_ ," He started, "That I brought you lunch today because you were upset, and that somehow something I did or did not do, further upset you. However, I also know that you are not some insipid, weak willed female that is afraid to speak her mind."

"What does that have to do with anything? She was hitting on you, not me."

"I didn't go there for her," He snapped.

"Then why didn't you tell her to go away?"

"Why didn't _you_?"

"She wasn't hitting on _me_!"

"But she was annoying you."

"And she wasn't annoying you?" Kagome demanded incredulously.

He looked ready to say something and then stopped, eyes narrowing. Instead of saying anything else he turned on his heel and began walking up the stairs, back stiff.

"Sesshoumaru!"

He ignored her, going up to his room and closing the door behind him gently. She almost wished he'd slammed it so she could continue shouting at him for being so childish.

Ignoring the papers on the table she stomped upstairs and to her room, not caring if he could hear her slam the door or not.

Their argument made no sense, and she had no idea why he was so angry to begin with. The girl had been hitting on him, it wouldn't have been her place to tell her to leave. She would have just looked like some sort of jealous shrew if she had.

And with the sort of sudden clarity that felt like bricks falling on her, she realized she was acting like a jealous shrew. However that clarity didn't come with a reason why, and she was left feeling off balance and guilty for how she had treated him. He'd brought her lunch from her favorite restaurant because she'd been upset. She couldn't have been more of a child if she'd tried.

Falling back onto her bed she didn't fight the urge to cover her face with a pillow and scream, although she did wish her roommate didn't have hearing that would easily pick up on everything. Before she had moved in, she had spoken her problems aloud to try and sort them out, and now she couldn't for fear that her roommate would hear everything.

She should apologize. He had been doing something nice for her, and she'd reacted badly, for whatever reason. The idea of going to him and apologizing was mortifying. Especially since she could give no logical explanation for her childish tantrum.

Disliking having anything like this hanging between them, she got up and tried to straighten her hair, wishing for something to delay her walk to his room for a little longer. When nothing presented itself other than fiddling with her clothes, she took a deep breath and walked into the hall, surprised to see his door opening as well.

For a moment she wanted to laugh, the arrested expression on his face was so comical and out of place. Except that he looked ready to step back into his room, and she knew that if he retreated and closed the door, she wouldn't be able to stammer out her apology. It was already trying to lodge itself in her throat and she didn't know if she could manage if he turned around.

"I'm sorry," She blurted, cheeks heating. "I was having a tantrum, and it was stupid. You were right."

"My reaction was as well," He replied. "I should have told her to go away instead of expecting you to do it."

There was an awkwardness between them, and she didn't like it. Now that the apologies had been said, she didn't know what to do or say, and she mentally fumbled for something, anything, to cut through the tension.

"I lied," She added. "I didn't eat. I was too busy looking for books."

He seemed relieved to be given something to do, and they walked down the stairs. He'd already made something, and she sat at the table, pulling the books out of their bag and going over them.

The plate was steaming when he sat it down and took the chair next to her. His brows raised at the titles of the books.

"Fairy tales?"

"Myths," She corrected, flushing again.

"Some of them are true," He pointed out as she took a a tentative bite of her dinner.

"Could you tell me?"

He took one of the books and opened it, eyes moving rapidly over the page. His quiet baritone went over the story as she ate and when she finished, she continued listening while taking her dishes to the sink and pouring them both a glass of wine.

Once he had finished the story he began going over it, explaining details that had either changed in five hundred years, relaxing her and teaching her at the same time. For the second story they moved to the living room and she poured them both a second glass of wine, feeling as if their argument had passed and that all was right with the world.

A third story and a third glass had he sighed and leaning back into the couch, the day far from mind as she listened to his gentle cadence.

"Why did you react as you did today?" He asked after a long pause. She had been waiting for a fourth story and possibly sleep when he asked, and to her half conscious mind it wasn't so absurd a question, and easier to answer.

"I think I've just gotten used to having you to myself," She admitted.

A quiet rumble answered her before his arm went around her and pulled her closer. Grateful he wasn't angry, she yawned and curled into his side, taking comfort in the solid warmth of him.

"What about you?" She asked sleepily.

"Perhaps my pride was wounded that you did not fight for me."

"Typical male," She giggled. "If I had you would have been angry."

"No," He murmured. "I would not have been angry."

But the words were mostly lost on her, sleep turning them into nothing more than a string of syllables.


	15. Peach Blossom Day

"Please?"

How was she supposed to answer that? The youkai's lower lip was trembling and her eyes were big. Dear kami, were those tears? Those couldn't be tears.

"I need help finding the right outfit."

"But I don't know anything about dresses," She protested, flushing hotly.

"Please?"

"But it's for you, I couldn't possibly-"

"Shippou said Sesshoumaru told him we should both get one. They both said we needed a girl's day."

"But I don't know anything about dresses, and I'd never have a place to wear one anyway."

"Practice."

"For what?"

"For when we go shopping for a wedding dress."

"Aren't you going through a mating ceremony? I thought it was going to be more traditional."

"Oh that will be," Souten uttered hastily. "But the reception after won't. Please Kagome," She wheedled, doing her best imitation of Shippou's puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," She sighed, giving in with a laugh. It couldn't be that bad, right?

Half an hour later she was staring at the selection of dresses in awe, realizing that she didn't know the first thing about dressing up. In fact, she wasn't even sure how half of them stayed in place or on, their plunging necklines and lack of straps both shocking and bewildering.

"Just think of it as dress up," Souten offered. "Only we get to take them home instead of putting them back."

The saleswoman was more than helpful examining the both of them and asking about colors and occasions before vanishing and coming back with several dresses. Souten's glamour only hid her pointed ears and red eyes. With her coloring and figure the saleswoman was gushing.

However, as Souten disappeared into one of the dressing rooms, the woman turned to Kagome with a thoughtful eye.

"It will be harder to find something for you. We need something to accent your eyes, but you're too pretty for something slinky," She sighed, as if it were a tragedy. Kagome couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She did not do slinky.

Several minutes later she was being pushed into a dressing room by a gowned Souten, protesting the whole time as she stared at the frilly concoction of lace and silk the saleswoman had thrust into her hands.

"Dress up. You'll look like a princess," Souten tried.

A three year old playing princess, she thought dourly, but gave up and stepped into the small room. The door closed behind her and she hung the dress on it's hook, trying not to shudder when she looked at it.

Pink. She disliked pink.

Hated pink.

Not seeing much of a choice, after all, she hadn't really planned to actually buy anything, she quickly pulled off her pants and shirt and folded them neatly on the bench before looking at the dress again.

It looked like a little girl's idea of a princess dress. Puffy skirt, puffy sleeves, lace petticoats.

"Kagome, you done yet?"

She would never be done loathing the dress.

But she put it on anyway, shuddering when she saw a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

"Are you done?"

"I don't think I can walk out like this," She admitted quietly, knowing Souten would hear her.

The lace petticoats were making her legs itch.

"It can't be that bad," The youkai cajoled from the other side of the door. Taking a deep breath she opened the door.

Souten's expression said it all.

It was that bad.

"I'm going to go find something. That woman is obviously blind," Souten growled.

Grateful she hadn't been forced to step out of the changing room, she stepped back in and hastily removed the dress, careful not to tear any of the delicate lace. As much as she wanted the thing gone from existence, she didn't want to pay for it.

Minutes later there was a knock on the door and she peeked out, surprised to see several dresses in Souten's arms.

"Try these, and show me," The youkai demanded as she shoved them into the room before closing the door.

Dress one was too slinky, too revealing for her tastes, and she barely had the courage to step out into the hall of the changing rooms, but Souten, who was eying herself critically in the three paneled mirrors, turned and gasped with delight.

"Close, but so much better than that other dress," She exclaimed.

Close? How was this dress close? She felt like she was going to fall out of it.

"Try on that blue one, the light blue."

Going back to the dressing room she changed and had only made it out two steps before Souten was shaking her head, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"The red one."

The sleeveless red dress was too short for comfort, and she debated even stepping out of the dressing room. When she came out Souten had donned a similar red dress, although it was floor length, making it slightly more modest.

And it looked perfect on her.

"That one is wonderful," Kagome breathed.

"I think so too. Do you think Shippou will like it?" The youkai asked nervously.

"I'm sure he will, it looks perfect."

"Great!" Souten breathed happily, her smile making her look all the more radiant.

Despite her own misgivings about what she had tried on, she felt a flush of simple pleasure at the youkai's innocent happiness. Unable to stop her own smile, she watched Souten continue inspecting herself.

There were only two more dresses to try on, which she did, both of them not passing whatever standards Souten had.

Another hour perusing the store and they still hadn't found anything suitable, not that she was complaining. The day had been reward in itself, and she found that she enjoyed spending time with another female. As much fun as Sesshoumaru was to be around, he wasn't the sort of person that she'd go shopping with. At least, not dress shopping.

But when Shippou showed up while they were eating in the food court, she couldn't find any disappointment in having him interrupt her girl's day. Especially not when he and Souten flirted and joked and smiled at one another, so obviously in love it was heartwarming. After five hundred years of being single, she felt they both deserved every chance to be together.

"We still haven't found Kagome a dress," Souten admitted at last.

Shippou's eyes widened and he looked almost panicked.

"It's not a big deal," She laughed, waving it off.

"Every woman should have a party dress," Shippou rebutted, taking her hand and scanning the shopping mall. "And I'm sure there's something here."

For the next three hours she was taken to four different stores, and none of them had a dress that satisfied her son and his future mate. After the third store she stopped even trying to guess what they were looking for and allowed them to pick and choose and command her to change and show off each one.

As they were leaving the fourth store she was exhausted and more than ready to make good her escape. Both Souten and Shippou were grumbling and tossing ideas back and forth between themselves and she was trying to figure out if she could get away and out of the mall before they noticed.

Just as she was looking for an exit a flash of blue caught her eye and she zeroed in on it. Ignoring the two youkai she walked over to the store window to get a better look. She heard the pair behind her stop speaking and say her name, but continued walking, eyes on the dress.

"Kagome, it seems a little old fashioned," Souten murmured.

Old fashioned it might have been, but the simple halter neck and flared waist was perfect. Classic, she called it. The color, a soft prussian blue, reminded her of Sesshoumaru's moon, and was the reason it had caught her eye.

"I want to try that one on."

"Alright," Shippou murmured, taking her hand and leading her into the store. He immediately caught the eye of one of the saleswomen and beckoned her over.

"There's a dress in the front window, a blue one. We'd like to try one on."

"That's the only one we have, it's a promotion," The saleswoman started.

"Then we would like it taken down," Shippou said in a firm voice, surprising her. For a moment his tone was so much like Sesshoumaru's that she started, realizing for the first time how deep of an influence Sesshoumaru had had over her son.

But the saleswoman was complying, and in the span of ten minutes she was walking into the dressing room with the dress, not quite able to believe her luck.

The dress itself was like cool water on her skin as she slid it up her legs and over her chest. The back plunged to reveal her back and her shoulders, but she didn't mind as she looked at herself in the mirror. Even in the harsh lighting it was perfect, and she moved her hips from side to side and felt the fabric move against her legs.

Opening the door she took a tentative step out, knowing she was smiling.

Souten's gasp and Shippou's wide green eyes made the whole day worth the irritation.

"It's perfect," Souten declared.

"I like it," She admitted with a shy smile.

"I think it's wonderful mom. You look beautiful," Shippou said with a wide smile, taking her hand and twirling her. Unable to stop the laugh that escaped, she curtsied lightly and blushed at everyone's astonished gazes.

Maybe it wasn't so bad, having a dress.


	16. White Day

The note on the table was blunt, direct, and yet utterly mystifying.

_'Wear the dress you bought the other day and wait for the phone call.'_

It was printed from a computer, and the 'S' at the bottom was hardly legible, and she tried to remember if she had ever seen Sesshoumaru's signature. Realizing that he'd only written a few notes in their time of living together, none of them signed, she supposed he was trying to make her feel better about the day, not that she wanted to admit to needing it.

Most of the women on campus had gushed and carried flowers and teddy bears, boxes of chocolate and balloons. Most of them had tittered and giggled, and she hadn't minded until Eri had popped up with a box of chocolates for her. It had been a gesture meant to make her feel included, but it had driven home that she was not receiving anything. Normally it wouldn't have bothered her, but Eri's pitying gaze had hit home.

She didn't need a boyfriend to be happy. She didn't need a relationship or love or flowers or any of it. If anything, her experiences had taught her that those things only complicated matters and made for heartache. After everything she had done to graduate high school, the last thing she needed was a distraction.

But dinner would be nice, especially with someone safe like Sesshoumaru. As a friend and someone who understood her motivations, he wouldn't be silly or pity her. She flattered herself to think that he might even respect her for putting off the immature dream of romance for her career.

Walking upstairs she went to her closet and pulled the dress out, wondering where they were going that she needed to wear something so fancy. Opting for a quick shower she undressed and bathed, still trying to guess what he had planned. Most restaurants would be packed of couples, and she hoped he hadn't decided on one of them. It would be worse than what she had seen at school, and she knew she wouldn't be able to eat in the atmosphere's most of the restaurants had affected for the night.

Sighing heavily she got out and dried off. The dress lay on the bed, looking out of place on the cheerful comforter. For a moment she was tempted to pull one of her more simple dresses out of the closet, something far less extravagant. But the message had been clear, and she didn't want to embarrass herself or him by showing up under dressed.

But once the dress was on, she still felt simple. Looking in the mirror in her bathroom she noticed that she looked bare, in a way, and tried to figure out what was missing. It wasn't as if she dressed up often. The subtleties of dressing up were beyond her, and she stared at herself for several minutes, trying to puzzle it out.

She looked like a college student in a costume. It didn't quite fit together, and for a moment she felt immensely shy, as if she'd been caught playing dress up.

However, furious knocking on her door had her jumping out of her skin and rushing to open it, almost tripping over the dress twice in the short distance. When she saw Souten in her red dress, she felt her stomach bottom out. The youkai looked panicked.

"You're still not ready?"

"What?"

What was going on?

"The boys are taking us out to dinner, the call- Never mind. It was supposed to be a surprise, but you're not ready yet! Why aren't you ready?" The youkai demanded as she dragged her into the bathroom and began opening drawers. She wasn't given a chance to explain that she wasn't entirely sure how to get ready, because Souten was pulling out the delicate silver jewelry that Tala and Inu Yasha had gifted her with for Christmas and fastening it around her neck and wrists.

The make up was light, thankfully. Gloss and eyeshadow and mascara and then her hair, which the youkai managed to put up with surprising ease.

It looked complete, she realized. Staring back from the mirror was a woman and not a college girl playing dress up.

Then she was being dragged down the stairs and out the door, trying not to break her neck as she wobbled in her heels and was almost thrown into the elevator before Souten began pressing a button so quickly so many time it rattled.

"It's fine, we can't be that late," Kagome tried to soothe, eyes on Souten's hand as she continued pressing the button even after the door had closed.

"We're running late."

Assuming Souten wanted to get on with her date, she stayed silent and waited patiently while trying not to feel like she had somehow intruded on Shippou and Souten's special day. After all, no one wanted their mother along for a date. If Sesshoumaru had planned it, she'd have to speak to him about making assumptions. Shippou had probably wanted to wine and dine his future mate, and Souten had, no doubt, been looking forward to being wined and dined.

An apology was forming when the doors opened and Souten grabbed her hand again, dragging her through the lobby and outside. A limo was waiting and she opened the door so quickly Kagome was surprised it didn't come off of the hinges.

"Come on," Souten urged, gesturing for her to get in. Kagome hopped in, wary of wrinkling the beautiful silk dress even as Souten was practically shoving her in as she hopped in behind her.

"We need to go, now!" Souten shouted at the driver, who nodded once and began pulling into traffic.

"It'll be fine," Kagome tried again, stopping when Souten bit her lip and worried it while her hands fiddled with her dress. "Shippou will forgive you for being late, especially since it was my fault."

"It's fine," Souten sighed, relaxing and leaning back into the seat. "I just wanted tonight to be perfect."

"I'm sorry I'm intruding. You two should have tonight to yourselves, not sharing it with your single friends," She admitted.

"We both wanted to include you and Sesshoumaru," Souten rebutted, smiling a lopsided smile. "It never occurred to us to spend it alone."

"It was very thoughtful," Kagome told her, even though she was inwardly flinching. Souten was obviously not being entirely honest, because what woman wouldn't want a sweet, romantic dinner with her future mate? And to be honest, she wasn't looking forward to sitting through a dinner where Shippou and Souten made eyes at one another.

Hoping it wouldn't turn into a train wreck, she smiled softly and tried to hide her anxiety, grateful when Souten began chattering nervously. The youkai was obviously worried about her date and her night, and though she'd been leading Shippou on a decades long chase, it would be their first official white day together. Kagome couldn't blame her for wanting it to be perfect.

When the limo pulled up in front of a restaurant Kagome had never even heard of before, they were helped out by a young man in a white suit that was bewilderingly silent. The door to the building was opened by another attendant and Souten pulled her inside, a ball of nervous energy. Through another set of doors the atmosphere changed completely. Someone waited behind a podium and Souten gave a name before giving her an apologetic glance.

"I need to go to the bathroom, I want to make sure I look perfect," She breathed quietly. "I'll meet you at the table."

Kagome nodded in understanding and let herself be led past the shouji screen wall and past other people who were dining. As she expected, the atmosphere was romantic. Candles and roses, dim lighting and she could hear the faint sound of music, though it sounded as if it was muffled and coming from some other room, not that she could see one.

Sesshoumaru stood when he saw her approach, eyes widening. She blushed heavily, feeling out of place in the restaurant.

She blushed even more when she saw that it was a table for not four, but two.

"Hello," She mumbled shyly, realizing that she had been tricked. But who had been the one to plan it? She highly doubted Sesshoumaru would, it didn't seem his style in the least. Which meant that Shippou and Souten had planned the evening. Briefly she imagined the two of them plotting and laughing madly, never once considering what they were doing.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly as he helped her sit.

"Souten and Shippou, they- Never mind," She sighed, wishing she was anywhere but in the restaurant. There was something too intimate, too romantic about it.

"Perhaps it would be easier to enjoy the evening," He chuckled as he sat down. She noticed that he was wearing a tuxedo and wondered how he had been tricked, and when. She hadn't seen him at the apartment, and she was sure he would have guessed had he seen the note.

A waiter came with a wine list and Sesshoumaru perused it before ordering. When they were left alone she felt awkward, even a little silly.

"You're anxious."

"It's just silly. I wished they hadn't done this."

"Why not?"

"It's just that, I mean, I know they're trying to be sweet, but everyone here, they're all in their own worlds, all in love. It just seems silly to be having a big dinner like this."

"Perhaps it is enough to have our own little world. Who knows, maybe there are others here as we are," He offered quietly, casting a look around the room. "And some less fortunate than we."

"How so?" She asked, curious.

"There are some that do not care for one another at all, and this is only expected of them. There are others that care for the one they brought, but that person does not care for them. Few here are truly in love," He finished as the waiter came over with the wine. He left the bottle to breathe and Sesshoumaru nodded quietly and gave the waiter a simple order. There hadn't been a menu or even options. Despite that, she trusted his choice and tried to ignore the rest of the restaurant.

"Have you come here before?"

"I have not."

"You seem to know the menu."

"I do."

That strange statement aside, she searched for something to say, needing conversation to stave off the atmosphere.

"My teacher was stunned by the results of the analysis," Kagome offered. "I've been given approval to write on the poems. But he seemed put out that he couldn't have copies."

"Have you spoken to Inu Yasha?"

"Not yet, I should. I just keep forgetting. Everything has been hectic lately."

"Tala will be delivering soon. We will have to go."

"I've never been to America."

"Do you have your passport?"

She shook her head and he nodded, obviously filing the information away for later.

"How was your day?"

She told him about the silliness on campus and the pity chocolate she had received, and how she wished her friend would understand that she was fine. Sesshoumaru listened intently and nodded at the right times, and the one sided conversation ended when their food was brought and he poured the both of them a glass of red wine.

Despite their surroundings, she was able to enjoy her meal, mostly because of the quiet and because the food itself was wonderful. She did make the observation that he was a better cook, and he chuckled, saying only that he had spoiled her for fine dining.

Dinner was followed by dessert and he told her about the newest building he had designed, one that would be going up in Tokyo proper. Though the specifics were lost on her, she giggled when he described the future owner and how they butted heads constantly. He gave her a rueful smile, explaining the last minute changes to materials that would have blinded passerby.

They moved on to a dessert wine and she ate the delicate pastry while he watched and laughed, not even acknowledging that his own dessert was going untouched. When she finished, he chuckled when she pointed out that his own dessert had been wasted.

"I am alright," He chuckled. "Would you like it?"

"I'm fine. I think I'm so full I'll pop," She admitted.

"That's too bad," He laughed, standing.

"What is?"

"Come with me."

Trusting him, she accepted his outstretched hand and followed him past the other diners and to a cleverly hidden elevator. Unsure of what was going on, she waited patiently and was stunned when the elevator stopped and they stepped out onto the top of the building. Though the building itself was easily dwarfed by those surrounding it, she couldn't tell for the glass dome covering it, dozens of paper lanterns hung to block out the outside world.

A small band played in the corner and there was a dance floor where half a dozen other couples danced, lost in their own worlds.

"Sesshoumaru," She started, feeling self conscious. The atmosphere on the dance floor was easily more intimate, more romantic than in the restaurant itself, and she felt out of place and awkward, as if she was intruding on the private moments of the other couples.

"Every woman should dance today," He murmured quietly, pulling her to the dance floor even as she tried to resist. Given no choice, she gave in and let herself be pulled into a light dance. There was no set dance, in fact, most of the couples seemed content to sway gently in place, their arms around one another and bodies close.

Feeling acutely embarrassed to be there with a friend, she buried her face in Sesshoumaru's chest, desperate to hide the mortified blush that rose from her chest, up her neck and burned her face.

"What's wrong?" He whispered into her ear as his hands settled on her waist.

"I don't belong here," She whispered back, terrified when her throat tightened. This was not what she had expected, and for a panicked moment she was afraid she might cry, although why she would was beyond her. Why couldn't she just enjoy being out with a friend and dancing?

"Then perhaps we can pretend we do," He murmured quietly.

Unsure what that meant or how she was supposed to do that, she began to pull back, surprised when his grip on her waist tightened.

"Relax," He breathed. "It is only a dance."

She let him guide her in a small circle, allowed him to help her move. Little by little she relaxed and began to move with him, feeling secure in his arms. He blocked out the world for her, made all of the other dancers vanish. Even the sound of the band faded when she leaned her head against his chest, rewarded with the sound of his heartbeat.

However long passed, she didn't notice, and when he finally pulled away, she let out a happy sigh and allowed him to lead her through the restaurant and outside. Within minutes a limo was pulling up and he was helping her in. He said nothing when she leaned against him, but his arm went around her shoulders and they enjoyed the quiet.

Nothing was said as they rode the elevator up, but she didn't pull away when their fingers laced together, and when they entered the apartment, she was beginning to walk away when his hand caught her shoulder. When she turned, she was pleasantly surprised to see that he had removed the bracelet that hid his form.

"Happy White Day," He murmured quietly as he kissed her forehead. His lips were warm and she felt, for a strange moment, that they had just come back from a date and he was saying goodnight.

"Sleep well," He finished, moving away from her. She nodded and, dreamlike, walked up the stairs, looking over her shoulder only once to see him watching her walk away. When she got back to her room, she sat on her bed, brain catching up to her.

Perhaps it was alright, she thought to herself, to pretend, just for a night, that she had belonged with the other couples. Maybe Sesshoumaru had wanted to as well. He'd been alone far longer than she, and she knew that he had the capacity to love, and love deeply. Maybe that was what had made it feel so real, for a time.

The surprising thing was that it hurt to let it end, and that she had fallen into it so easily.

"Stupid. He was just being nice," She muttered, good mood souring as she undressed and prepared for bed.

Sleep was long in coming, restless and filled with dreams.


	17. St. Patricks Day

She was exhausted by the time she followed Sesshoumaru down the moving sidewalk in the airport. His purposeful stride cleared a path, that or he was projecting his youki so well that even normal humans sensed the vibes. Either way, they were almost free and clear when he stopped, a sound not unlike a growl escaping. The sidewalk was packed ahead of them, people leaning against the rails and one another, luggage piled at their feet.

"Calm down, it's just a few more minutes," She yawned, trying to calm him down. He remained tense and glaring at the huddle of elderly people all standing on the moving sidewalk, not walking.

The 'few minutes' seemed to drag into eternity. She was just getting ready to lean against him for support, possibly doze a little, when she felt it. A startled gasp flew from her mouth and she turned, face flushing with anger and mortification.

"You're not wearing green," The man, american if his accent was anything to go by, said with a smarmy, self confident smirk.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She shouted in stilted English, moving back against Sesshoumaru.

"It's Saint Paddy's day, and you get pinched if you don't wear green," He added, as if he was explaining something to a small child.

"On my butt?" She shouted.

The body behind her stiffened, and she couldn't _not_ notice the displeased flare of his youki.

"Excuse me?" Sesshoumaru asked in a quiet, calm voice that reminded her all too well of days when he had not been her nice, well mannered roommate.

"It's nothing," She mumbled, trying to turn away.

In the next moment she found herself pushed behind him, the outraged yell of her pincher echoed through the corridor, and then several gasps of people further on down the moving sidewalk.

The man came up swinging, which she supposed he would have considered a good idea.

When airport security finally arrived, they were stuck on the moving sidewalk. Well, more aptly, there was a line stuck on the moving sidewalk while Sesshoumaru held the other man down, face scant inches from his as he uttered a litany of threats, each more creative and horrifying than the last. Kagome was too worried to appreciate his flawless command of the english language.

"What is going on here?" A man in blue shouted, trying to get closer.

Apparently her rapid fire Japanese was nothing the guard could understand.

* * *

"You're so lucky you're rich," She muttered as they exited the airport. Sesshoumaru, damn him, didn't have a hair out of place, and she felt as if she'd been hit by a steamroller. Oh, nothing physical had happened to her after the ill fated pinch, but the the emotional roller coaster, between watching him carted off and being forced to sit through an interview and then being forced to wait for him, had quickly taken their toll. That she hadn't been sleeping well had only exacerbated the issue.

"We must hurry, Tala waits."

"How do you know she hasn't had the babies yet?"

"Blood calls to blood, there is not yet another added to my father's line."

Well wasn't that mysterious and vague? She harrumphed petulantly and allowed him to open the door to the dark SUV that had been waiting for them.

"What took you two so long? Got word the plane landed two hours ago," The driver demanded. Kagome noticed he resembled Tala, and wondered if he was a relative.

"One of your heathen americans pinched my packmate because she wasn't wearing green," Sesshoumaru intoned flatly.

"That's not so bad-"

"On my butt," She muttered, crossing her arms and shrugging down into the seat.

"Oh, well then."

* * *

When they arrived at Tala's home they were rushed inside and directed up a flight of stairs. Kagome was given no time to notice details, because there was a huge pack of people waiting outside of the door. Only Inu Yasha's children were familiar to her, but she could see the similarities between Tala and many of those gathered. All were beautiful, exotic youkai with deep, dark eyes. And all of them wore the peculiar expressions of anxiety and relief.

A scream erupted from the other side of the door, and she jumped, surprised by the volume of the noise.

"She's been in labor for over twelve hours," One of the youkai murmured.

Over twelve hours?

Another scream erupted and the door opened.

"Kagome, you're here," Inu Yasha breathed, looking relieved and haggard at the same time. She wasn't given a chance to say anything as she was dragged into the room, relieved that Sesshoumaru followed.

"What-"

"As godmother you're supposed to help deliver. Hurry up."

Surely Tala had not been waiting for her to arrive to deliver the children? Oh gods, she truly hoped not. The sounds coming from the ookami were proof of the agony the female must have been going through, and she rushed over to the bed, expecting to be told to hold the youkai's hand.

But she was not directed to hold a hand. In fact, the older youkai between Tala's legs moved aside and gestured for her to sit.

What?

"The first is crowning."

No one had prepared her for this.

She should refuse, wanted to. But Sesshoumaru was guiding her to the chair and helping her sit.

" _How_ -"

"All you have to do is catch," The old woman said in a no nonsense voice. "I'll help you with the cord."

She looked down and immediately wished she hadn't.

She could have gone the rest of her life not seeing the baby's head emerging from the woman. She'd always assumed birthing was sort of messy and painful, but that image was going to stick with her as long as she lived.

"I don't-" Gorge rose in her throat.

"You can," Sesshoumaru rumbled behind her, and she tried to take some of the steady assurance from his tone. With trembling hands she reached forward and tried not to think about seeing Tala in a way she had never wanted to see her. When she had accepted she had not thought this would be part of it, but it was, and there was no going back, it became slightly easier to breath. However, with every beat of her heart she was positive it was moving from her chest into her throat.

Another scream and the head came out.

"Push," The old woman commanded sharply.

Another push and the baby was in her hands, a slick, slimy, squealing mess of flailing limbs and dark hair.

The old woman clipped something on the umbilical cord and cut it.

"A boy," She announced proudly as she took it. Kagome was getting ready to stand when Sesshoumaru put a hand on her shoulder.

"The second," He murmured.

_There was another one?_

She tried not to faint.

She murmured quiet encouragement as Tala screamed and Inu Yasha yelped. She saw his hand clenched tightly in his mate's, his eyes on her, ears flat against his head as she screamed again. Feeling stupidly like _she_ needed support, she clung to the feeling of Sesshoumaru behind her and took several deep, steadying breaths as Tala shouted and cursed.

Within minutes the second head was crowning and she was readying herself, trying not to give in to the tunnel vision that was accompanied by vicious nausea. With a pained scream and a push that she imagined even she could feel, the tiny baby was in her hands.

"A girl," She breathed, looking from the child in her hands, with it's tiny white puppy ears laying flat against it's head.

Tala looked exhausted and Inu Yasha looked as if he had just finished fighting a battle, but both of them were looking from the child to one another, love radiating from them despite their weariness. The old woman clipped the umbilical cord and smiled down at her with an approving nod. She followed, child still in her hands and watched as the old woman began cleaning it off. When given the chance she cleaned her hands, opting not to look at them and instead looking at the baby.

It was not cute, not like she thought it would be. It's face looked flat and the blood stained little white hairs pink. Even after she had been cleaned completely she looked more like a red raisin than a baby.

It didn't stop her from feeling like the breath had been kicked out of her.

When the old woman gave her a blanket she wrapped the baby and walked over to Tala and Inu Yasha, surprised that she felt almost reluctant to give the child to her parents. All evidence of the blood and mess had been removed, and she was startled to see Sesshoumaru giving the dirtied linens to someone outside of the door.

"Thank you, Kagome," Tala breathed, smiling an exhausted smile as she accepted the second child.

"It's fine. You could have warned me though," She added with a breathless laugh.

"No one told you?" Tala asked, eyes wide before turning to glare at her mate, and then at Sesshoumaru. "I should strangle the both of you, but I'm too tired," She groaned. "Later. I swear. Both of you. Pain. Lots of pain."

"It's fine," She smiled, feeling a pang when Inu Yasha took one of the children and leaned to kiss his mate's forehead. There was something too intimate about the scene, too personal. She felt like an intruder despite the fact that she had been a part of the process.

"We will let your pack greet them," Sesshoumaru rumbled, taking her hand and leading her to the door. Grateful to be given some space and the chance for fresh air, she followed, glad that the people outside seemed focused only on getting into the room. Sesshoumaru pulled her into the hall and past the crowd, down the stairs and outside. Fresh air filtered into her lungs banishing the smell of the birthing room.

"That was insane," She muttered, sagging against him as reality caught up to her and made her knees weak.

"You did well."

"Why didn't you warn me?"

"You would have panicked beforehand."

"Like I wasn't panicking in there?" She mumbled sourly.

"You would have been more worried had you known."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

She wasn't, but she was grateful that he stayed with her as she relived the experience, the weight of what had happened only minutes before finally crashing down on her. He was there when adrenaline surged through her, then panic. And then he was smiling when she looked up at him in wonder.

"I helped deliver a baby," She whispered. "Two babies."

"You did."

"I have god children."

"You do."

"We have god children."

"We do," He murmured, smiling down at her, one of his rare, genuine smiles.

"They were so cute."

He made a strangled sound and she elbowed him in his stomach, unable to stop the breathless sound that escaped as she did.

"Are you ready to go back in?"

"I think so," She admitted.

She was grateful for his arm around her shoulder as they walked back into the house, and she noted that despite being a youkai on the council, Tala's home was that of an upper middle class family. There were bookcases and toys and furniture that bore the marks of children. When they walked up the stairs they walked past four youkai walking down, one of them the old woman.

"You're one of the shamans," The old youkai said, dark eyes boring into her own.

"I'm, umm, maybe?" She stuttered, feeling pinned by the old woman's stare. She wasn't even sure what the woman meant by the word. Her english was passable, but the word went over her head.

"Your people believe that we're your opposite," She said, eyes seeming to widen and draw her in.

"You're not."

"You know the wisdom of it," The elder said, nodding.

"I umm, thank you?" She stuttered.

"When a shaman is brought into the pack it is a blessing for all."

Not knowing what to say to that, she nodded dumbly and watched as the youkai nodded in turn before continuing down the stairs. The world around her seemed brighter as she finished walking up the stairs, and she couldn't help but smile as she was allowed into the room. Three wolf youkai were standing near the bed where Tala lay, looking more than ready to fall asleep. Inu Yasha sat by the bed in a chair, his fingers laced with his mate's. His gaze was full of love and pride, and she was struck by the difference between the hanyou she had once known and who he had become.

"Kagome," Tala sighed happily, smiling as she approached. "Thank you. Chu'si said that you being here was a blessing."

"Chu'si?" She asked quietly, aware of the two sleeping bundles being fawned over by what appeared to be grandparents and an uncle.

"My grandmother."

"Would you like to hold one?" Tala's father asked, smile wide to reveal laugh wrinkles that only made him look kinder instead of older. Ageless and happy.

"I would," She admitted, accepting the small bundle. It was the little girl, her white hair and tiny ears giving away her identity.

"What's her name?"

"Chilaili," Inu Yasha informed her quietly as swayed slightly, eyes on the child in her arms.

"She's beautiful," She breathed lightly, afraid to wake the sleeping baby. Feeling him next to her, she looked up at Sesshoumaru, her grin so wide it almost hurt her cheeks. "Isn't she beautiful, Sesshoumaru?"

"She is," He breathed, moving closer. She leaned into him, allowing him to look down and caress one tiny, folded ear. His finger, his hand, was so large compared to the baby, and she had the irrational urge to cry, even blinking away tears as she handed Chilaili to him before accepting the little boy.

"Bodaway," The older woman told her as she accepted. "He has much of his mother in him."

"Bodaway," She repeated quietly, looking down at the black hair. Unlike his sister he didn't have the puppy ears, but there was the slightest suggestion of normal ears ending in points. She rubbed his nose, surprised by the faint markings that appeared like red beneath his reddish brown skin. A tiny hand waved sleepily and caught her finger.

"Strong, aren't you little one?" She chuckled quietly, swaying gently to rock him while he held fast to her finger. When she looked up she was surprised to see Sesshoumaru staring down at the little girl in his arms with more tenderness than she'd ever seen him look at anything with, and for a moment she wondered if he wanted children. He was being so careful, so sweet that she couldn't help but imagine that the child was his.

And it was with a pang of surprising, unexpected hurt that she realized he would mate and have children someday, and be happy and love, and they would only be friends. They would drift apart, and moments like these would be lost.


	18. Vernal Equinox

"I didn't realize it was the equinox," She murmured as they were all packed into a car. Tala, who didn't look at all like a woman that had given birth a few days before, smiled and got in the driver's seat. Sesshoumaru slipped in next to her, quiet as ever. It surprised her when it was not Inu Yasha but the old woman, Chu'si, that slipped into the passenger seat in front.

"Inu is driving the other car with the three oldest and my parents are taking the babies, on their demand. You'd think they'd be used to having new grandchildren, but not yet," Tala laughed. "Not that I'm complaining. I need to enjoy it while it lasts."

"Tonight is a good night," Chu'si said. "It's a good t time to introduce them to the world."

Kagome felt utterly clueless, as she had for the past several days. It was the prevailing sense that something kept getting lost in translation, and no one had stopped to explain it to her. Even Sesshoumaru seemed confused, bewildered by the traditions surrounding the family and pack.

"Grandmother means to say that spring is for children. It's good luck that they were born so close to the equinox," Tala explained.

"And we will have two shamans," Chu'si interjected.

"Grandmother, she doesn't know the traditions," Tala admonished the old woman, who didn't look in the least affected.

"Her presence is a good thing," Chu'si said. "Even if she does not know our ways, she is still blessed, and will bless the children."

Kagome didn't know what the woman meant, and she was too afraid of sounding foolish to question, much less explain that while she had certain gifts, she had never been trained in her own tradition, especially not miyamairi, the blessing of newborns. The feeling of the youkai's expectation only worsened her anxiety, making her want to be anywhere but in the car on the way to the ceremony.

"You'll be fine," Sesshoumaru assured quietly. "It's merely blessing them."

It was easy for him to say, he wasn't the one being made to perform in front of strangers.

The drive seemed to take forever as they moved further into the reservation Tala lived on with her family. With each moment her chest tightened and her mouth seemed filled with glue. Tala and Chu'si both spoke in their native language, words lilting out, interspersed with laughter.

Sesshoumaru's fingers wove into hers, making it a little easier to breathe as they moved on.

When they stopped in the middle of nowhere, she looked around, wondering if the ceremony would be held out in the field. But when Chu'si got out and stretched, she was shocked by the woman's form shifting and changing. Tala too stretched and her form was twisting and warping. Within seconds wolves, although they were too big to be normal wolves, were standing where the women had been.

"Sesshoumaru-"

"They'll show us the way," He replied when she stopped, unsure of what to ask. Before she quite understood what was happening, he was picking her up in his arms and holding her close.

The wolves darted off into the tall grass of the field, and she could feel Sesshoumaru's muscles bunching and shifting as he followed, his gait barely jarring her as the wind buffeted against their bodies. Faster and faster until the world around them became a blur of blue and green, and then stopped.

Dizzy from the sudden change, she buried her face in Sesshoumaru's chest, inhaling deeply and praying she wouldn't get sick.

"We're here," A voice said, and she chanced a peek, saw Tala in her human form. Sesshoumaru let her down, but didn't pull away until she stopped swaying.

The first thing that caught her eye was the stone formation on the ground. A giant circle with lines through it, she stared, saw a center circled out in more stone with a huge fire pit in the center, wood already stacked inside of it.

"It's a medicine wheel," Tala explained quietly. "Grandmother's grandparents created it before the first boat of foreigners came. It's one of the last hidden ones."

She didn't know much about America's history, but she knew enough to know that such an old place, easily sacred by the reverence in Tala's voice, was rare. And that being allowed to see it was an honor few outsiders, if any, ever got.

More and more people arrived, some as wolves, some in their humanoid forms carrying small instruments and drums, or bags filled with things she was sure she couldn't begin to imagine. Adults, children, the old and even the babies she had helped deliver, one carried by each of Tala's parents. Inu Yasha showed up, one of his children on his shoulders and the other two walking next to him, both speaking in the language Chu'si and Tala had.

And everyone held some form of youkai blood. Mostly full blooded youkai ambled around, offered congratulations to Inu Yasha and Tala, but there were two or three hanyou besides her friend, or perhaps more, she couldn't quite tell.

No one hid their forms. Fangs, claws, even stripes similar to Sesshoumaru's, nothing was disguised or magicked away. She turned to Sesshoumaru, who still wore the bracelet.

"You can take it off," She murmured.

"Only Inu Yasha and Tala's family have ever seen me thus."

She wondered if he was too used to wearing the disguise in the open, or if he felt it was a sort of secret he could give away only to those he considered pack.

A hush fell over the crowd and people began moving to the outer edge of the stone circle, finding spots and sitting. Inu Yasha gestured for she and Sesshoumaru to sit by him on the hard packed ground. Their children sat around them, strangely quiet for how boisterous and excited they had been only moments before. In Inu Yasha's arms was his daughter, and next to him sat Tala holding their newborn son.

An older, stooped figure walked into the center, moving with surprising grace despite his age. Long, dark hair liberally threaded with gray hung down his back and over his shoulders, swaying as he made for the unlit pyre.

Words began echoing through the field, the voice swelling and crashing over her like a wave of calm. She didn't understand the words, but there was peace there, and power, so old and strong that is sang in her blood, provoking the power she'd let lay dormant ever since her return.

It wasn't an angry call, but one to join. Voices rose and echoed out into the sky. For a moment it was easy to forget she was in the present, caught in a timeless moment hanging suspended on the notes of the youkai's hymn.

His words stopped being words and became syllables of song, music that came from somewhere below him, and she knew, instinctively, that he was speaking to the gods he believed in. Inu Yasha and Tala stood and walked over to him. Notes became syllables became words again, and Kagome watched each child being blessed in turn. Power, familiar and foreign, rose and sank, slipped over and around the infants, as steady as a heartbeat.

She stood when he beckoned to her, nervous tension making her knees lock, her gait stiff.

She'd never blessed a child, couldn't even remember the steps to a miyamairi. But she knew the gods were petitioned, asked to protect them. And it wasn't hard to believe they existed, not at that moment. The world's vastness crashed down on her, reassuring in it's enormity. The sensation caught, found the loose thread of her and she was unraveled, caught in the present with nothing to hide behind. Self conscious anxiety faded, lost as she looked down at the infants.

Inu Yasha's children. The whole of his past, as tragic as it had been, had led him to Tala, and given him more joy than she could have hoped for. They were manifestations of her dreams for her friend, proof that he'd survived and more than that, lived.

"You are the children of fairy tales and legends," She murmured in Japanese. "Of happy endings that lead to new beginnings. And love, so much love," She breathed, power rising up through her, into her words and hands as she gently cupped one baby's face, and then the other's. Their skin drank in the light, the power moving from her to them, marking them as surely as their elder had before. "May the gods of your father, and his father before him protect you. May you know the honor and strength of your lineage, and be blessed with the courage and loyalty of your parents. Welcome to our pack," She finished. Her words resonated, weighted and weightless.

The world echoed with them and settled, an earthquake beneath her feet, a tremble and shake between heartbeats. Except the earth hadn't moved, had it?

Drums began echoing in the distance, and she felt her power settled in her skin, retreating. Howls greeted them, lacing through their song and reaching the sky.

She blinked.

When had night begun to fall?

Tala and Inu Yasha moved back, walked to Tala's parents and friends. Still buzzing with energy foreign to her, she turned to the old man and for an instant saw the shadow of a wolf's muzzle on his face, gray with age. It vanished, fading back until there was only the wrinkled face of a youkai.

"What happened?" She breathed, shaken.

"Our lands are not so different. The earth loves all of her children, no matter what land they come from. You were simply open to it."

"I don't understand," She tried, but another howl echoed into the fall of night, and she turned, surprised to see that many of the others had shifted and changed into unnaturally large wolves, all shades of black or brown or red.

"You have her blessing, and have always given it freely, healed those it would have harmed, had any other tried. Your blessing is no less than true. The earth feels these things and has a long memory."

"That was a long time ago," She whispered, feeling as if he saw inside of her and was weighing what he saw. But he smiled and leaned forward, palm resting on her cheek.

"Not so long. Tonight we hunt for the earth and the sky. Perhaps your alpha will join."

She followed his gaze to see Sesshoumaru, who was speaking with Inu Yasha, a frown on his face.

"I don't think he will."

"This is a sacred place, shielded from the eyes of the new world. Here he may be who and what he is. He only needs someone to remind him."

She was going to say something, but the old man was walking away, stooping even further. In the darkness it was hard to see the details of the change, but she knew he had changed as a tail swished through the tall grass and the form moved with surprising speed for the treeline of the forest not far off.

Walking over to the brothers, she inhaled deeply only to pause in whatever she was going to say, because Inu Yasha looked frustrated, and Sesshoumaru looked pole axed, as if he didn't quite know what was going on.

"Is everything alright?"

"It's his first time participating in a ceremony, but he won't join the others," Inu Yasha told her, turning and waving his hands. He looked expectant, as if she could do something he hadn't.

"My form is-" Here Sesshoumaru stopped, either unwilling to explain or unable to.

"The elder," She began, not knowing his name, only waving in the direction of the center of the pit.

"Kotori," Inu Yasha supplied.

"Kotori said you should," She tried, stopping when her alpha gave her a flat look.

"It is unsafe."

"Not here. Kotori said it's shielded, that everyone's safe here," She countered gently.

He looked ready to protest, his gaze swinging between herself and his brother.

"Why is this so important to you?" He finally asked.

"Because you belong to us as much as we belong to you," Inu Yasha said, face serious. "Because I want this for you. And Kagome does too," He added, gesturing at her.

When his gaze met her own, she only nodded her head in agreement.

He said nothing, but when he slipped the bracelet free, she accepted it and slipped it over her wrist. She could feel the surge of youki, could see his face changing, his body warping. Those that had not left for the hunt all went silent, and for a moment she could hear nothing but the wind over the grass and the sounds of his bones snapping and reforming.

Larger and larger, features exaggerating into a monstrous shape until the monster fled and the regal face of a daiyoukai stared down at her. Kagome smiled up at him, unafraid.

"I never knew he was so big," Tala murmured quietly, eyes on the daiyoukai that towered over them.

"What are you waiting for?" Inu Yasha shouted up at his brother, clearly unfazed. "Go hunt, or you'll be a disgrace to our family name!"

"Can he even hunt like that?" She asked, watching as Sesshoumaru launched himself at the sky.

"If he wasn't going to before, he damn sure will now," Inu Yasha smirked, looking inordinately pleased with himself.

"Is that what you meant when you said there is a difference between youkai and daiyoukai?" Tala asked, still obviously stunned by the appearance of the giant inu.

"He's gotten as big as our dad was, I think. I haven't seen his true form in centuries, but I know he's bigger."

A long howl echoed through the night, making Tala's eyes widen even more.

"You guys are just full of surprises, aren't you?" She finally asked.

"What do you mean?" She only asked because she hoped for an explanation.

"Your blessing, I felt it," Tala said, looking at her with new eyes. It wasn't a satisfactory explanation by far. "And now Sesshoumaru shifting. You both seem so mundane, sometimes," Tala admitted. "I never expected all of this."

Kagome didn't know how to explain that she didn't either, that she couldn't explain the strangeness that had overcome her, or what she'd done when offering a blessing for the children. She knew it wasn't a typical blessing, that she hadn't called on the gods she had no relationship with, even if she'd felt something. Her words had been the result of joy and hope for her friend's children, for the children themselves. But other than that, she had no explanation, no reassurance.

Moments later the hulking form of her alpha landed, and with the utmost care, he lowered himself until his head was level with the rest of them. A deer fell from his jaws to rest at her feet.

"Nice!" Inu Yasha exclaimed. "That didn't take long."

It was covered in drool.

"Isn't your saliva poisonous?" She asked the giant, furred face of her friend.

Somehow, despite his canine features, he managed to look offended.


	19. World Poetry Day

She chuckled when Inu Yasha practically collapsed next to her, sitting up and then becoming boneless, falling back with a groan that echoed from deep in his chest.

"You alright, Inu Yasha?" She asked, peeking over at him. His eyes were closed against the sun and his hair was a frazzeled mess escaping it's braid. If she gussed right, there was a milk stain on his shirt.

"I'm fine, just exhausted," He sighed. "Twins are more work than I thought," He admitted. "And even if she refuses to admit it, Tala's still not one hundred percent."

"But you're doing wonderfully," She tried, hoping to give him a boost. He looked awful, and that was saying something considering she had seen him fight his way through feudal Japan on nothing more than ramen and ego.

"You and Sesshoumaru watching and playing with the others has been a huge help. Thanks for staying for awhile. Everything, I mean, thanks. It means a lot, that you guys made it out."

"We have to leave in a few days, but it's been nice to visit," She said, steering the conversation away from such a serious topic. A sincere, heartfelt Inu Yasha still mildly disturbed her, and she shied away from the idea for more neutral ground.

"It's been good having people to distract the little beasts while Tala and I acclimate to having more children around. The pack will help once you guys head out."

"They're nice," Kagome smiled, not voicing that she was still confused by them. They treated her with a deference she wasn't used to receiving, and she knew that there were times things were lost in translation, but for the life of her she couldn't understand what they were, or how to correct herself or the others.

"You're a miko, for them it's kind of like a shaman. Joining Kotori and your blessing at the ceremony only proved it in their eyes," Inu Yasha told her. Picking up on what she didn't say. She wondered when he had become so observant, but he continued on. "Chu'si is the elder here, she remembers a lot of old stories for the pack. Kotori is a youkai shaman, so it's different for him. You're a human shaman, which sort of goes back to their traditions. That you are was a really good omen, and they respect you, you know? For being a miko and pack. To them, holy people and youkai are supposed to work together, not like it is in Japan."

She wondered if he was thinking about Kikyo and what would have happened if things had been different.

"Either way, she's just full of old stories, but she's a sharp old bat, not much gets by her. Same with Kotori, to be honest."

That reminded her, and she ventured the question that had, for the most part, been in the back of her mind but mostly forgotten in the chaos of helping Inu Yasha and Tala care for their children.

"You gave Sesshoumaru some scrolls of poetry," She began. "He made me a copy, and I've been using them for a project at school."

"Those?" The hanyou asked, sitting up. "I'm surprised they haven't crumpled to dust by now."

"Do you know anything about them?"

"Miroku wrote them for Sango," Inu Yasha said, coloring lightly. "Their kids were slayers like Sango, and on the move a lot, so when they passed I took them and asked Sesshoumaru to take care of them. I'd forgotten about them, to be honest," He admitted, turning an even deeper red.

"Oh," She murmured, feeling strangely weepy. She'd been reading the contents of her friend's heart and hadn't even known it. In a way it made sense, all of the battles and the quiet love. Despite his lecherous tendencies, she had always suspected that Miroku had been someone that would love deeply and with his whole heart.

The connection to her long gone friends made her feel light headed and almost dizzy, and for a moment she was afraid of crying.

"He wanted you to have them," Inu Yasha told her, breaking through her reverie. "He hoped that they would make it to you. I'm glad they did."

"Did Sesshoumaru know?"

"Nah, he didn't really care who wrote them. I didn't think he even read them. He never seemed the type to care about poetry," He snarked.

She decided not to mention that Sesshoumaru could recite poetry from memory and in a voice that could melt a heart of stone. He probably wouldn't believe her anyway.

"So what's going on with you two anyway? Shippou says-"

"Shippou is in love and is projecting his happiness onto other people," She supplied quickly, still off balance, emotionally fragile. Miroku's poetry, Sesshoumaru's ease with the children, being treated as a good omen, Inu Yasha as a father-

Inu Yasha stared at her pensively for several moments before shrugging his shoulders and looking over to where his children played with their uncle. Sesshoumaru was pushing the youngest on a swing, and she was happy to see everyone without disguises as they played. Even Sesshoumaru had forgone the use of his bracelet, and he looked out of place an exotic, his white hair and pale skin all the more noticeable for the vivid markings on his face and arm.

"He's happier now," Inu Yasha sighed, smiling a strange, lopsided grin.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's more playful now, he smiles more. He used to be really focused on work and on the council. It's been nice to see him like this. I couldn't believe it when he mentioned the whole hose thing. Or that he actually accepted the water gun. But it's good. He needs that in his life. He's a pack creature."

"I'm glad."

"It's mostly you, you know that?"

"I don't think so. Maybe he was just lonely. It helps to have someone around." It had helped her, at least. Maybe she was helping him the same way. If anyone needed to relax and live, if anyone had earned that, it was Sesshoumaru. And giving him that felt-Nice. Especially after everything he'd given her.

When Inu Yasha didn't respond, she turned and saw him regarding her with that same pensive look, one that made her both uncomfortable and aware that unlike the others, he knew her, remembered her, and might see things the others didn't.

But he let it go, and when he got up and walked over to his children, she let out a relieved sigh.


	20. Earth Hour

She was exhausted, more than she cared to admit. Even traveling via private jet had been a nightmare in America's airports, and having helped with not only her two godchildren, but three others, she was feeling as if she'd literally had the energy drained from her. Even Sesshoumaru looked concerned and weary.

"We're almost home," He promised quietly, eyes still fastened to the window, staring off into the distance. She looked out of her own small window, almost ecstatic to see the lights of Tokyo in the distance. Breathing a sigh of relief, she thought about the class she had missed and the world she had left behind. America was as different as it could be, and though she had found it fun, if exhausting, to visit, she was glad to be home.

Halfway through a fantasy about a nice, long bath and a good book, she let out a small gasp of dismay when Tokyo, the city right below them, began to dim. First small spots, then larger ones, until her beloved city was dotted with only small specks of light.

"Sesshoumaru," She whispered, panicked. Had something happened? Was the city in the middle of an earthquake? Shippou, her family-

"Earth hour," He murmured, the corner of his lips tilting in a small smile.

She heaved a sigh of relief. In the hectic rush of the past several days, she had completely forgotten about it. There had been a few commercials on the radio, advertisements and papers posted on the boards at her school. Looking out of the window, she took a closer look at her city. She had seen it from a plane before, had been dazzled by how bright her home was. But the darkness that seemed to echo below her made her wonder what it had been like, decades before the construction of towers that reached the sky and a night so filled with lights that it could have passed for day.

"What was Tokyo like, before it became a metropolis?"

He was quiet, eyes still on the darkness below them.

"It was only a little cleaner, a little less populated. But there was true darkness at night, shadows that we could hide in," He finally said, voice quiet. Kagome couldn't reconcile him with hiding in the shadows, couldn't imagine him hiding at all.

"Is that why you built the tower so high?" She asked, realizing perhaps for the first time, she understood his need for such a home. Prestige and luxury had nothing to do with it. When he only nodded, she realized that he missed the sky and the stars, barely visible in the brightness and smog of the overcrowded city they called home.

"Why do you stay?"

"It is simplest."

"For you?"

"These are my lands now," He said, finally turning his head to look at her. "I am no longer just the Daiyoukai of the West, but the Representative of Japan, and I am responsible for it and the youkai within it. Tokyo is the easiest place for others to find me while still blending in."

There was a seriousness to his statement, and he once again referenced the shadowy gathering he called only the Council.

It hit her at that moment that he not only lived as an architect, but as a leader responsible for others. It was hard to correlate him to the youkai she had known that had cared only for a child, an imp, and a twin headed dragon. He had always wanted power, and though his new title might have come with some, she also knew that in a modern age, it came with more responsibility than prestige, more work than reward. 

"You're a good person," She declared quietly. He blinked slowly, as if unsure of her meaning before the smile from before returned, subtle and small, but there all the same.

"Thank you."

They sat in quiet contemplation of their darkened city until the jet landed and they were allowed off. His car, a new silver sports car of some sort, was waiting for them, and they rode in silence. Fascinated with the change in their home, she kept her eyes on the shadows that grew and stretched towards the road, the tall buildings that went up until they disappeared, the lights that had distinguished them from the night sky gone.

She was almost sad to leave it behind when he parked in the parking garage. But he surprised her by walking back to the exit.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Walk with me, there isn't much time left."

She nodded, jogging to catch up with him as he took long legged strides to get out of the garage. When they stepped into the night, she looked at the world around her in awe. It was different standing in the middle of it, with no windows to separate her from it all.

"I want to show you something," He murmured, holding his hand out.

What more could he show her? Her city, almost foreign to her in the darkness, was already fantastical and frightening enough as it was.

"Trust me."

Nodding mutely, she took his outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her into his arms before she felt his muscles tensing and bunching. Then she was in the air, held to his body as the wind roared around them.

"Sesshoumaru," She whispered, looking down and seeing the city below her, and nothing beneath her feet. Suddenly she wished for the plane and a window, some way to be viewing the spread of buildings below her safely.

"Hold on," He commanded softly, so much so that it was almost a request.

That posed no problem, she was wrapping her arms around his chest and clinging for dear life. Heart hammering in her chest, she tried not to look down as they flew quickly, the entire world blurring until he stopped suddenly. A stomach that had felt as if she'd left it behind miles ago caught up with her, lurching back into place.

She had determined not to look at anything until it was all over, face buried in his chest and eyes clenched shut.

"Look," He prodded. "Or you'll miss it."

Hesitantly she opened her eyes, first greeted with the sight of his white dress shirt. Timidly, almost afraid, she turned to look at the earth below them. Up in the air their hair was tossed carelessly, and she could see nothing different.

"What-" She began, the words almost lost.

And then she stopped, eyes widening.

Like watching a great machine wake, she saw first one light, and then another, and another coming on, a wave of electricity was pumped through the buildings. Bit by bit the city came back to life, faster and faster, lights blinking into existence. Close up it might not have been so beautiful, so surreal, but from a distance it was awe inspiring, like watching stars coming into being until the city itself charged and exploded into being.

"That was amazing," She breathed, eyes still focused on the jewel like display in the distance.

"Hnn," He murmured, chin resting on top of her head as he held her close.


	21. April Fools! Light It Up Blue

The one line of poetry in front of her was driving her insane trying to explain without sounding sentimental. Growing again, she ran a hand through her unbound hair, staring it down.

_'When the void filled, you remained.'_

There was no way to explain it without telling the truth, and she could not give context to a poem that was written centuries ago. Her professor would never buy it, and she'd only discredit herself trying. Interpretation and extrapolation had been so much easier when she hadn't known. Growling again, she was almost ready to give up when she saw someone sit across from her.

"Hello," The woman said, eyes running over her. Kagome blinked, wondering who the woman was and why she was staring at her so blatantly. She'd never met her, probably never would have in normal circumstances, given the woman's very expensive looking clothing and the simple but elegant jewelry. The chilly appraisal didn't help the impression.

"Hello," She greeted cautiously, eyes sliding back to her laptop. Maybe the woman had merely greeted her as she sat down, a way of being polite when sharing the small table in the quad.

"So you are the newest addition to my son's household."

Kagome stilled, automatically understanding what that meant, and who the woman was.

Sesshoumaru's mother.

Who was apparently a bit of a speciest.

"It's nice to meet you," She started hesitantly, wondering why the woman had tracked her down to her school of all places, and why she couldn't have just come to the apartment. While Sesshoumaru was there, preferably. Although, at least they were around other people. His mother wouldn't try anything around other people.

"A miko," The woman said dismissively, contemptuously.

At least she was making it easy to dislike her.

"I'm sorry you don't approve of my place in his pack," Kagome said, forcing her voice to be calm, cordial. If the woman was going to be rude, she was going to kill her with civility. No one would be able to fault her for her behavior.

"I don't approve of some human sniffing around my son," The woman said, voice chilling.

On second thought, maybe civility was asking a little much.

"I am not _sniffing_ around your son. He found me. And since you moved to another pack and became second tier, I don't see how it is any of your business," She replied, keeping her voice calm and cool.

"You are living in the same home," The woman scoffed, as if the idea of a male and a female living together was ludicrous.

"We're roommates, not- not in a relationship," She retorted, angry at the insinuation.

"For the good of everyone involved, I should hope that it will stay that way," The other woman said, voice no longer chilling, but frozen, as if she was breathing out arctic air with every syllable. "Bad enough that he has taken in a human, a miko," The word was said with such venom that Kagome had to keep from flinching, had to hold on to the hot anger that warded off the chill. "But if he were to mate you-"

"He won't. Just because he allowed me into his pack does not mean we're going to mate," She snapped. "I am sick and tired of people making assumptions about our friendship."

The woman paused, a sly smile pulling up her lips. It was a dangerous smile, one Kagome hadn't seen in years, not since the feudal era. Instantly on her guard, she straightened, readying for some sort of battle.

"I will see you both tonight, for dinner. I will arrive at eight."

And with an elegance that made Kagome immediately think of a snake, the woman was up and walking away, her long hair swaying behind her.

Dinner.

_What_ -

Kagome pulled out her phone, immediately scrolling for Sesshoumaru's number. She wasn't sure if he knew, but she doubted that he did, and knew for certain that if he was not at least warned, he would be even more displeased. Once she hit the call button, she put it to her ear, expecting the worst at any second.

"Hello." He sounded so cheerful, at least, as cheerful as he ever sounded, and she had learned to tell when he was happy. She really hated what she was about to do.

"Hi, Sesshoumaru. Your mom, she-Hah, she came to see me at school."

"My mother?" He asked, concern evident even through the phone. "Are you alright?"

No, she was not alright. In fact, she was pretty certain she was going to have a panic attack, although she couldn't say precisely why she would be having one. That he felt the need to ask explained so much.

"She just came to talk and," She stopped, wanting so badly to lie.

"And?"

"She said she's coming to dinner. At eight."

His cursing was succinct but creative.

"We could just, not be at the apartment when she gets there," She offered, crossing her fingers.

"She has something planned, although I cannot guess what it is. If we try to avoid her, she will only persist," He intoned.

That didn't sound pleasant.

"So dinner at eight?" She sighed, looking back at her laptop screen. The screen saver had come on, sliding through the pictures that had been taken from the Christmas before and while she was in America. Picture after picture slid by slowly, showing everyone in their pack. She couldn't imagine someone that would have a problem with the pack, with the happiness shown in all of the pictures. And yet.

"I'll pick you up from school," He sighed. "When is your last class?"

"It ends at four."

"I will see you at your stop." And with that he hung up, silence echoing after the small click of the disconnect.

Two hours to go. She closed her phone and looked back at the screen. Tala and Inu Yasha's oldest had taken several of the photos, and while they would never win awards, she watched them slide by, one by one, interspersed with the ones Inu Yasha and her mother had taken on Christmas.

In many of them, she was near Sesshoumaru, smiling and laughing. In just a few months they had become friends, she even counted him as her best friend. She wondered what his mother would say to that.

"Stupid idiot," She muttered, thinking of the haughty female that had made her declarations -and feelings- known all too well.

* * *

"She hates me," She sighed again, looking at the clock. Dinner was ready, dishes covered to keep them warm. She was dressed casually, refusing to dress up for the cold female that would be arriving any minute. Sesshoumaru, who almost never wore anything but slacks and dress shirts, was in a pair of jeans and a regular white shirt, one she normally saw him lounging around in. She wondered if it was out of rebellion. And that was almost funny, kind of hysterical, really. Sesshoumaru rebelling against his mother by wearing jeans.

"She hates everyone," He clipped, obviously displeased. Ever since he had picked her up and drilled her about what his mother had said, he had been more than cold, he'd been downright surly.

"I'm sorry."

"This is not you're doing. She would have come sooner or later, better now," He added, still dour.

"We could still leave. We might miss her if we go now." There were any number of restaurants they could go to, hundreds of places to get lost in in Tokyo. He even had a jet. Why have a jet if not for emergency getaways?

"She would follow, or schedule another meeting. Or perhaps she would invite herself without giving warning."

It sounded like Feudal Sesshoumaru, and Kagome couldn't help but wonder which parent had raised him, had more of an influence over his childhood.

The doorbell rang and Kagome looked at it, suddenly wanting to flee to her room. Sesshoumaru however, walked over calmly, as if he hadn't been snapping at anyone that dared to look at him in the four hours since he had picked her up.

"Hello mother," He greeted when he opened the door. "Jayatsu," He added with a nod.

"Your home is very quaint, Sesshoumaru," His mother said, walking past him as if she owned the apartment. She had changed from her pantsuit to a very nice blue dress, something that, for all of it's simplicity, still screamed money and style.

"Miko, this is my mate, Jayatsu-Sama."

Oh, this was going to be a _wonderful_ dinner.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Jayatsu," She greeted, smiling with a warmth she didn't feel. His eyes narrowed, as did Sesshoumaru's mother's, when the honorific failed to be uttered.

"Dinner is ready," Sesshoumaru rumbled, his voice cutting through the quickly mounting tension. Refusing to show enough of her fear to actually breathe a sigh of relief, she helped him arrange the food on the plates in a pleasing way, having learned in their weeks of cooking lessons, and took them over to the table while he brought a bottle of wine.

"She cooks," His mother said. Kagome wondered what her name was.

"Actually, Sesshoumaru made dinner," She murmured. "He's very talented."

"You cook?" His mother asked, as if the idea offended her.

"It is a pleasurable hobby," He murmured, taking his seat. Kagome followed suit, feeling very much like she'd walked in on an argument.

"It is a _common_ hobby, like this need you feel to work," His mother stated. Kagome wondered if she imagined the grimace of distaste. She didn't seem the type to use unbecoming expressions.

"I enjoy my work."

"You are debasing yourself."

"Perhaps."

"You have a position on the council. You should devote yourself to your duties."

"I do," Sesshoumaru said, unruffled.

He was so calm, and she envied his poise. Her own temper was quickly spiraling out of her control, scraping at her nerve endings while she tried to enjoy her dinner.

"The miko tells me you are both just friends," His mother added, and Kagome could feel something sharpen in the room, something that threatened to break and shatter. Dread knotted in her stomach when Sesshoumaru's youki flashed in warning, but the female continued on. "It is good you no longer form those silly attachments to humans. They are simply-"

"You will desist in this topic." Sesshoumaru's voice was as cold, if not colder than his mother's had been.

"How rude," Jayatsu scoffed. "Your pup's gone and forgotten his manners," He added, looking over at Sesshoumaru's mother.

"Probably from visiting his father's bastard," The youkai observed, looking bored. "I'd heard he spawned another whelp."

"That's it," Kagome snapped, reaching the end of her leash. Sesshoumaru's temper had obviously been provoked, and she could feel his energy, tight around his body, gathering and expressing his obvious displeasure. "Either we can all have a civil conversation, or you can leave our home."

"Your home?" His mother asked brows raising. Otherwise she appeared unaffected.

"Yes, I live here too, and I have a right to feel comfortable in my own home. I also have the right to ask those who intentionally provoke me and my roommate to leave. If you cannot behave in a civil manner, there is absolutely no reason for me to allow you to stay."

"Miko-"

"My name is Kagome, which you obviously know, seeing as how you found me at my school. Sesshoumaru is an amazing person, he works hard and at the very least he deserves your respect. If you can't even give him that much, then you are not welcome here."

There was silence after her declaration, and for a moment she was afraid violence would erupt. Everyone at the table seemed to be forcing their auras out, making quiet, but felt, declarations of their power.

"Sesshoumaru, will you let this human speak for you?" His mother snapped.

"She speaks well in my defense. Why would I stop her?" He asked, voice dangerously calm, almost pleasant.

"You haven't changed. This one will do nothing different. Give her the world and she will-"

"Enough," He snapped, obviously hitting the limits of his patience. "You will leave our home."

It was not a request, or even a command. It was a warning, one even Kagome had no trouble hearing. But it was obeyed. Jayatsu and Sesshoumaru's mother stood and left, walking stiffly to the door. It could have been the warning, or it could have been the tightly leashed feel of youki, but they left swiftly.

"That was a disaster," She sighed after the door had closed.

"I apologize for her rudeness," He muttered, standing and grabbing the plates from the table. They clattered in the silence, making her flinch.

"Sesshoumaru, you had nothing to do with that. She just doesn't like humans," She sighed, taking her own plate and following him into the kitchen. He scraped the meal, something he had worked hard on, into the garbage disposal one plate at a time and when he put the dishes into the dishwasher, they clanked and clattered angrily against one another.

One shattered as he put it in, the shards of porcelain scattering on the door below it. He made an angry sound and she moved past him, already pushing the shelf in and reaching for the pieces. Quickly she began gathering the biggest shards, dropping them into the trashcan he pulled from under the sink.

"Don't let her get to you, she was trying to make you angry," She murmured quietly, wishing she could touch him, calm him down. Somehow she doubted he'd welcome the contact right then, his entire body still thrumming with unreleased tension. "She's not worth it." There was no response, not that she had expected one. Trying to gather each small shard as quickly as possible, she bit down on her lip and kept from uttering a pained sound when one sliced into her palm.

However, she had forgotten his sense of smell. Within seconds he was pulling her up by her wrist and leading her to the guest bathroom. She didn't know if he had always had it, or if he had bought it after she had moved in, but there was a first aid kit beneath the sink.

"Sit."

"It's just a small cut," She protested. He ignored her, opening the kit and going through it. For a moment she was going to tell him she could do it herself, but he was acting strangely, and she wondered if he didn't need something to do, something he felt was useful. She sat and watched him organize the items inside, realizing it probably did help. Patriarch, alpha. Caretaker.

With perhaps the lightest touch she'd ever felt, he used his claws to pull out the small piece of porcelain before depositing it in the trash. She allowed him to rub a small alcohol pad over the cut flesh and blow gently onto it. Her fingers tightened reflexively, and he looked up at her, expression tinged with remorse.

"I apologize."

He hadn't been so formal with her since they met.

"It's not your fault, I was careless. I should have been paying more attention."

"Still-"

"Sesshoumaru, don't. We were both tense. It happens. Your mom is-" She paused, unsure of what to say. "An experience."

He made a derisive sound as he opened a band aid packet and pulled the small strip out, carefully placing it over the cut.

"I doubt she'll come back."

"I hope not."

And it was said with such staggering relief, such blatant honesty, that he chuckled. It was not the laugh that came at rare times, but it was enough to let her know that he was letting go of his anger and calming down, and it was enough for her to relax.


	22. Scrabble Day

She stared at her laptop, blinking several times as she tried to focus on the words on the screen.

They made no sense. Not one word seemed to connect to another, and she was positive all of the sentences strung together to make paragraphs were out of place. In fact, the letters seemed to be floating and beginning to swap places with other letters until everything on her screen was a jumbled mess of nonsense. It was finally happening. She was losing her mind. She'd end up institutionalized, scribbling fragments of ancient poetry on the walls with crayon. All because of neostoicism.

"Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked, voice quiet as he walked over to the table. She looked up at him, bleary eyed and exhausted. The lights in the apartment were giving him a strange halo, a paler version of his youki. Or maybe it was his youki. She couldn't tell anymore.

"Yeah?"

"You look exhausted."

"I'm fine. Finals are coming up and I need to be ready."

"You've been studying for hours."

"Finals are important. And I have to get everything ready for my presentation at the conference. It's just been a long day," She admitted, trying to smile. If his expression was any indication, she'd either failed or he wasn't buying it. "Nothing a cup of coffee can't fix."

His eyes swung to the carafe she had filled with coffee and a few shots of espresso. Her coffee mug was still half full, and she reached for it, wanting to assure him that she was fine even though she felt like she was going to face plant on her keyboard.

Clawed hands grabbed the mug and the carafe despite her startled protest, and then he was walking away with both.

"Sesshoumaru, I need that," She told him, standing and wincing when she heard several pops. How long had she been sitting there?

"It's after midnight. You have class at eight. You're going to bed."

"I still have half of a chapter to cover."

"You can cover it after you've had some sleep."

"Sesshoumaru-"

"Alpha," He reminded her as he poured the mug out and unscrewed the lid of the carafe. Half of a pot's worth of coffee poured into the drain. She watched it, feeling angry and the slightest bit childish for how he was treating her.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm a grown adult. I can decide my bedtime."

"You _are_ an adult," He conceded. "But you are also pack, and exhausted. As your alpha it is my-"

"Responsibility to take care of me. I know Sesshoumaru. I've lived with you long enough to figure it out," She muttered, rubbing her eyes. He looked nonplussed by her reaction, and she had the distinct feeling he was planning something -never good- and that she was going to end up in bed whether she liked it or not. Despite that, she felt the tiniest bit rebellious. She was not a child to be taken care of, and she had her own responsibilities.

"Alright," He said simply. "But take a half hour to rest your eyes. You've been staring at your laptop for almost four hours. You'll make yourself blind."

She made a noise but gave in. He even walked over to their coffee machine and began a new pot. His easy capitulation would have worried her at any other time, but she was too tired to care, and she did see the wisdom in a half hour break. Walking over to the living room she fell onto the couch and leaned back, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes.

"Here," He said minutes later. She blinked her eyes open and saw half a glass of wine held out in offering.

Half a glass couldn't hurt. She accepted it gratefully and shifted when he sat next to her. In the next two seconds he was leaning against the arm, one leg on the couch and the other dangling off, her tucked between them and leaning forward. His hands moved in patterns, finding kinks and knots and gently easing them out of her muscles.

It felt heavenly, and under other circumstances she would be mortified. It hadn't been that long ago that she had imagined getting a massage from him and blushed madly, but her studies were still floating through her head. Her course on Medieval Spanish manuscripts was going to murder her. Was murdering her. Slowly.

"Thank you," He murmured as she took another sip of wine while his hands smoothed out tense knots from her back.

"For what?" She mumbled quietly.

"For not fighting me."

He was being exceptionally honest, even forthcoming. Though they'd settled back into their normal routines after returning from America and his mother's less than pleasant visit, he had never been quite so open about small things like this.

"Pack likes to take care of it's own," He said. "I'm sorry if it seems like I've been too authoritarian."

She felt bad for a moment, realizing that he had just been trying to keep her healthy and safe. Maybe he wasn't used to humans, or students for that matter. She drained the glass of wine quickly and reached over to sit it on the table before moving back. His hand rubbed at a particularly stubborn knot, earning a pained groan.

"Not your fault. Silly inu youkai and their instincts," She sighed as the twinge of pain smoothed into relief. An appreciative hum vibrated in her throat as he moved lower on her back, finding spots that ached and easing them.

"I suppose so," He answered quietly, pulling her back. Drowsy and feeling better than she had in several days, she didn't resist, leaning against him and letting him begin to rub her shoulders again. Tension faded until she felt warm and oblivious to her studies and finals. Exhaustion, which had already been present, wrapped around her and blurred the apartment. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply...

And was asleep.


	23. Juggler's Day

"You need to come, it's going to be a way to unwind after finals," Eri told Kagome, frowning as Kagome pinched the bridge of her nose, not for the first time since the conversation had started.

The problem was that she didn't have time to unwind, even after finals. Not only was she studying for finals, but she had her presentation to finish and then edit. And it would be a slash and burn edit, because she could already tell she had done too much and would be going over her allotted time. Even more pressing was Shippou and Souten's mating ceremony, which wasn't long after. Preparations for that were already underway, and despite her best attempts, Sesshoumaru refused to help with anything except paying for it. Which was nice, in fact it was wonderful, considering some of the costs. But planning was time consuming.

Inu Yasha and Tala would be coming out for a visit before the ceremony as well, and Sesshoumaru had already mentioned a short vacation, although he hadn't given her any sort of time frame besides a vague 'when you've got time'. Which also didn't help. Most of all her driver's exam loomed, the most terrifying despite how insignificant it was in comparison to everything else. Though she'd already gotten her learner's, she had yet to get her actual license, time being what it was. But Sesshoumaru had put his foot down and told her she had to have it within a month. There had been no threats or 'if you don't' sort of warning, just 'you will have it'.

Normally finals were enough to send her into a tailspin. Everything else waiting after them loomed like a massive tangle of dates and times, almost all indistinct and all the more prevalent for their lack of schedule. She felt like she was constantly on the edge of a breakdown unless she was in her apartment eating dinner with Sesshoumaru or in her bathtub. Or asleep, although she'd taken to dreaming about calenders lately. Surely a bad sign.

"I don't have time," She sighed.

"You never have time for anything," Eri muttered sullenly, patience apparently at an end.

"I have finals, my presentation, and then Souten's wedding, and then Inu Yasha and Tala are visiting and Sesshoumaru mentioned some sort of vacation-"

"I get it," Eri snapped. "You're busy with your new life."

That stopped whatever Kagome had been about to say next, because it had never occurred to her that Eri would feel that way about her 'new life'. If anything she had suspected that Eri didn't even notice how wrapped up she'd become in the currently hectic schedule. Finals hit everyone hard, at least she thought they did. It had been natural to assume Eri would likewise be scrambling and juggling a hundred things at once, especially given her busy social life.

Kagome looked at her notebook and then her laptop.

"Do you have any more classes?" She asked her friend.

"Just one, but-"

"Want to play hookey?"

Eri's look of stunned shock almost hurt, but Kagome knew she'd earned it, hadn't done anything but encourage the idea that she was 'too busy'. Quickly packing her things into her book bag, she shouldered it and waited for Eri, who began shoving her own things in her bag haphazardly, as if realizing that it hadn't been a joke until Kagome had stood up.

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want," Kagome said, feeling badly for ignoring her friend and wanting to make it up to her somehow.

"I need a manicure. Maybe a pedicure," Eri added thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure my parlor will be free, they're slow during the week."

She didn't want a manicure. Or a pedicure. In fact, she loathed the idea of anyone touching her feet. But Eri looked hopeful, and she had offered.

"Sounds good," She said, forcing a smile to her face.

* * *

Sesshoumaru stared at her as she stomped into the apartment. She knew he was staring, could feel it and his surprise. But she didn't look at him. In fact, she stomped up the stairs and to her room and threw her bag on the bed before stomping to her bathroom and immediately turning on the shower.

A knock sounded at her door and she firmly ignored it, face heating as she thought about what had happened, replaying the events of the hour before.

"Kagome?" He called through the door.

"I'm fine," She shouted, testing the water and slipping off her shoes.

The door opened, she could hear it, and she turned, ready to tell him _again_ that she was perfectly fine. Except he looked as surprised as he would ever allow himself to look.

"You smell like blood. Not yours."

She had been preparing herself to sit in the shower and wallow in self loathing, maybe even a bit of righteous anger. But the surprise had faded into concern and she _knew_ that he wasn't going to leave her alone until she explained what had happened.

"Eri and I got into a fight," She mumbled.

"You hit your friend?" He asked, brows raising.

"No!" She snapped defensively, face burning a hundred times more hotly now that she was being confronted with the problem. And with him of all people. He was the last person she wanted to talk about the situation with. It was so childish and stupid-

"Then who?"

"I didn't hit anyone," She muttered.

"Then why-"

"I accidentally kicked someone in the face," She blurted, covering her face with her hands and waiting for his reaction. He would laugh. She knew he would laugh. She was expecting laughter.

What she did not expect was for him to walk into the bathroom and turn off the shower before taking her hand and leading her over to the bath tub. Not resisting when he sat and tugged her hand to follow suit, she shied away when he reached for her foot, still in the sock. There were small dots of blood on her pants from the woman's nosebleed.

"Kagome," He murmured quietly, no less a command for it's lack of volume.

Knowing that he was going to win and not wanting to fight, not having the will to at least, she gave in and let him pull her foot into his lap and remove the sock.

"Why did you kick her?" He asked, examining the traces of blood on her foot.

"Eri wanted to go to the nail salon and get a manicure and pedicure. She talked me into a pedicure."

He stayed silent, obviously waiting for an explanation instead of her bumbling reticence. She said nothing as he reached to turn on the water. The sound of the water rushing into the tub rumbled through the room, echoing off of the walls.

She was about to tell him when he shifted her leg into the warm water and a finger brushed over her toes.

Water splashed everywhere.

"You're ticklish," He observed, looking down at the water stain that was quickly spreading on his shirt and slacks.

"Yes," She muttered, utterly mortified.

Another brush of claws over her toes and she yelped, head tilting to look back at him.

He was smirking.

"Sesshoumaru, that is not funny," She hissed.

He did it again, this time not just brushing his claws in a glancing touch that was over in a moment, but moving them quickly under the bottom of her foot until she was squirming and trying to pull her foot out of his grasp. Which was futile, of course.

"Sesshoumaru," She snapped breathlessly, already feeling the sting of tears as her body reacted and she tried to find breath to chuckle, curse, or beg him to stop. Her foot would have flailed, but his grip on it was too firm. Her knee jerked and she reached forward to try and pry his hand loose when he doubled his efforts.

Her spasms sent her into the tub.

She screeched as warm water soaked her clothing. Finally giving in she flailed and squirmed, trying to drag air into her lungs before he stopped, smirk still firmly entrenched on his features.

"Feel better?"

"No," She gasped out, but she was unable to stop the smile on her face as he made quick -and light, she noted- work of washing the blood from her foot. When he finished he stood and grabbed a towel, tossing it to her in the bath. She stuck her tongue out, although she wasn't sure he saw because he was already walking out, chuckling just loudly enough for her to hear.

Quickly getting out and stripping off her wet clothing, she looked at her now ruined cell phone and reminded herself to mention the nearly indestructible ones she had suggested before. Drying off and going to her room, she chose her favorite pajamas and walked downstairs, surprised to see that not only had he set the table for dinner, but that he had glasses and two bottles of beer sitting next to it.

"Beer?"

"I made burgers. Wine and burgers are an unpleasant mix," He explained as he brought the plates over. "I remembered the kind you liked from before and bought one similar," He added as he sat down. She watched him open the bottles and pour quickly and efficiently.

"So why did you and your friend fight if it wasn't her you assaulted?"

"I didn't assault her," Kagome huffed. "I got us thrown out of the nail salon and she's not allowed to go back. It was her favorite place, apparently."

"There's no shortage here in the city," He reminded her.

"I tried telling her that. It's not like I would intentionally kick someone in the face-" She paused when he made a sound that was suspiciously akin to a snort, although he was far too dignified for something like that. Of course he was. "But she's been mad lately anyway, and I offered to play hookey today. It's just been so busy lately, with the presentation and finals and the mating ceremony that I've barely had any time."

He was quiet as she took a sip of her beer and savored the light, somewhat bitter flavor. It was surprisingly crisp, something she hadn't expected.

"You can invite her here for dinner, or to have some time between the two of you," He offered as she was about to take a bite of her burger. She almost dropped the whole thing on her plate, remembering only too well what had happened when the two had met before.

"It's Eri," She stated dumbly. When he nodded, she felt the need to further clarify. "The one you don't like."

"She is your friend. My feelings about her don't matter, as she is not my friend," He explained. "And I can go out for the evening."

"But-"

"It is not just my home, it is our home," He continued, interrupting her. "You should be free to bring your friends here."

She knew he disliked the idea of humans in his home, his sanctuary, and she was more than willing to bet that he didn't want Eri in his home at all. It was a huge gesture, one she wasn't sure she could take advantage of.

"I'll talk to her after she's cooled down," Was all she said, closing the topic. He nodded silently, chewing on his own hamburger and taking a sip of his beer.


	24. Lover's Day

The door slammed open and she jerked back, eyes wide as Shippou stomped in, not entirely unlike she had a week before. Only his youki was snapping angrily and his face was twisted in a scowl.

"Women!" He shouted angrily, not even seeing her as he walked for the stairs, heading straight for Sesshoumaru's office.

Immediately she understood, if not what precisely had happened, the cause. Closing her laptop and promising herself she would work on her presentation later, she ran for the front door and closed it softly behind her. The elevator had not yet gone down and opened promptly when she pushed the button. The wait for it to reach Shippou's flat however, seemed to take an eternity. When the doors opened again she rushed out and opened the door to the apartment.

It did not take youkai hearing for her to pick up on the cursing. In fact, she was almost positive most youkai would go deaf upon entry.

"Souten?" She asked, hoping she was loud enough to be heard over the expletives filling the air. When they didn't halt or even slow down, she followed them through the apartment to the kitchen, which was closed off, unlike Sesshoumaru's open space. Souten was ripping a magazine of some sort to shreds in her hands, tiny paper bits floating to the ground and landing on a pile that had already grown big enough to completely hide her feet from view. Bits of glossy paper were scattered everywhere, the entire kitchen a chaotic mess.

"Souten?" She asked quietly, seeing the tears forming in the youkai's eyes.

"Men are so stupid," Souten muttered viciously. "They try to plan everything and when it doesn't work out how they want it to they just run away."

"Did you two argue?" Kagome ventured, almost afraid to ask. Souten's crimson eyes flashed to her and she wanted to step back. In fact, she wanted to run to the elevator and leave the building entirely. The anger and frustration present in the youkai's gaze did not bode well for the structural integrity of the complex.

"He's angry that I want to have a small ceremony instead of some huge gala. We've gone over it a hundred times. He promised me he wasn't going to turn this into some huge party. Our guest list grew to over three hundred people while I wasn't looking, and he showed me the invitations today," She snapped, gesturing to several boxes, roughly in the shape and size of envelopes, that sat on the counter. There were seven.

"There are fifty invitations in each box," Souten added, voice growing even angrier, if that were possible. "That's three hundred and fifty people, and he told me that's the pared down list!"

She had been working with Souten on the ceremony, but in the last week had taken a step back to further prep for her finals right before they started. But before she had asked Souten for a short break from the planning, she remembered, very clearly, that there had been only forty people invited.

The sheer change in numbers was enough to make her want to break down in hysterics, but the other details and plans, everything from the location to the food, the numbers for them swirled in her head, panicking and dizzying. As she continued staring at the box she fought the urge to join Souten in her tantrum. It would be pointless and would only make the situation worse. But really, three hundred and fifty people? How did Shippou consider that many people important enough to come to the ceremony or the reception?

"Souten, have you tried talking to him about it?" She asked calmly, walking over and leaning against the counter.

"We've talked about it a hundred times! He said he understood but then he went and did _this_ ," She muttered, hand waving at the boxes on the counter. "He didn't even tell me, he just did it. It's like my opinion doesn't even matter."

Immediately Kagome sensed the trap. If she walked into it, she was going to regret it, but she didn't know how to avoid it either. Living with a male roommate in no way prepared her for this sort of conversation, and she was not about to give the suggestion Eri would have, which would be 'break up'.

"Souten, you both need some time to calm down and think over this, come back and discuss it. Maybe a compromise-"

"I'm not turning this into some sort of political dog show!" Souten shouted, the words like barbs aimed and finding nothing.

"Is that what you think I was trying to do?" Shippou snapped, appearing in the doorway as if by magic. Kagome cursed his timing. "I invited-"

"People we barely even know! Hell, I'm pretty sure we _don't_ know most of them!" Souten interrupted. "Even Kagome agrees that it's stupid."

Both gazes swung to her.

"I never agreed or disagreed," She began, feeling like she was about to be devoured no matter what answer she gave. "I said you both should take some time to calm down and discuss this, maybe come to a compromise."

"How are we supposed to find a compromise between forty and three hundred and fifty?" Souten demanded. "By saying a hundred? That's still too many!"

"They're important guests," Shippou snapped.

"To who? Us or Sesshoumaru?"

"Sesshoumaru has done a lot for me-"

"I don't care what he's done for you!" Souten shrieked breathlessly, her face bright red from shouting.

"If you can't care about pack you don't belong in one," Shippou snarled, turning on his heels and stalking from the room. Kagome could feel him retreating upstairs, his aura snapping like electricity over her skin.

When she looked at Souten, it didn't take an expert to see that Shippou's words hadn't just hit their mark, they'd shattered her.

"Come on," Kagome sighed, taking Souten's hand. "Let's get you out of here and both of you some space to calm down."

Souten allowed her to pull her out of the kitchen and didn't protest as she led her from the apartment and into the elevator. In fact, the youkai was eerily silent, especially given her normal ebullience. As if she'd been knocked deaf and dumb by the thoughtlessly uttered insult, Souten said nothing, didn't even acknowledge that Kagome grabbed her shoulder and back in small circles to comfort her. When they walked into the apartment, Sesshoumaru was in the kitchen preparing something for dinner. A frown in her direction let her know that he was not pleased by Souten's presence.

"Come on," Kagome said again, ignoring his pointed stare and leading Souten to a couch. She was getting ready to sit down when she heard Sesshoumaru call out her name quietly.

"I'll be back in one second," She promised before walking over to the door, where Sesshoumaru stood waiting. He walked out into the hall and she closed the door behind her.

"You should not get in the middle of this," He told her quietly.

"I'm not, I'm giving her someone to talk to if she needs it," She defended in a whisper. "What Shippou just said to her was way out of line and she looks ready to break down. She needs someone."

"That person is not someone that stands between her and Shippou," He pointed out. "Shippou-"

"Told her that she doesn't belong in a pack, our pack," She hissed angrily, the words still infuriating her. Never, not once in her life, would she have thought those words would come out of her son's mouth. Disappointment warred with anger, made her wish the concept of lecturing Shippou wasn't so ridiculous.

"She may not," Sesshoumaru pointed out. "It's not your decision to make."

Her mind blanked. She was sure it did, because she was not thinking the words coming out of her mouth. She was feeling, and it was not a good sort of feeling at all.

"So now you can arbitrarily decide who is and isn't pack? Is it because she didn't want to have hundreds of people she doesn't even know at the ceremony? Because one of your associates or friends or _subjects_ ," She snapped. "Might get offended?"

His expression grew stony and he looked ready to say something, but the defense of Shippou's barb only made her angrier, angrier than she could remember being in a long time.

"I don't care if she's not part of _your_ pack," She declared. "She's part of _mine_. If that bothers you then that's your problem!"

And she was turning on her heel and opening the door, only to slam it behind her and stomp into the kitchen.

"I didn't mean to cause a fight," Souten said weakly from the couch.

"You didn't. It's stupid notions that did," Kagome answered smartly as she contemplated a bottle of wine. However, if Sesshoumaru came back in, or when he came back in, she wanted to be able to leave. If she had any wine she wasn't going to go out.

"Let's get out of here," She muttered, walking over to her bag and quickly packing her laptop and books into it.

"Where?"

"I know the perfect place."

Sesshoumaru was gone from the hall when they walked back outside. She didn't notice.


	25. Richter Scale Day

She, Eri and Souten were all in the living room painting their toenails different colors when her mother walked in, arms folded as she stared them down.

"Kagome," Her mother said, and that was all. It was spoken in a tone of voice that she hadn't heard since her teenage years, a mixture of disappointment and genuine concern, something that immediately struck home.

"What is it mom?" She asked, getting up and hopping on one foot, the other being the only to have any paint on it.

"I think you need to go to the front door. Now."

Her mother had been on her side for the last three days, pampering both Souten and herself, letting them practically camp in the living room and watch romantic comedies and tragic love stories while throwing pillows at the screen. She'd even tolerated their one -very blurry- attempt at getting blindingly drunk and crying together, not that she could really remember any of it. But her mother had tolerated it. Her little brother had found it hilarious, and her grandfather had been notably absent after. Her mom had been fine with it though, fine with everything.

But Kagome could feel the faint pulse of youki, and she recognized it instantly as Sesshoumaru's. She also recognized that her mother was not going to tolerate her hiding at home anymore. Nodding, she put her foot down and limped to the front door, hoping that he had come to apologize, or at the very least that he'd calmed down.

But when she got to the front door and saw her alpha standing there looking- Almost ragged, was the only way she could think to describe it, any thought of demanding an apology abruptly fled.

"Are you alright?" She demanded, taking in the faint shadows beneath his eyes and his rumpled, wrinkled shirt. He never had a hair out of place, and he certainly didn't get shadows beneath his eyes.

"Am I alright?" He repeated, voice sarcastic. "One of my upset pack members flees our home without a note or even a courtesy call, and disappears into the city with an equally upset friend. She does not attend school for three days, which is highly unusual regarding her obsession with it, and does not think to call or inform me that she has been staying with her family. For three days," He repeated.

"I didn't flee, I needed space," She retorted hotly. "After what you said-"

"You twisted what I said," He interrupted in a harsh voice. "And heard only what you wanted. What Shippou and Souten do is their choice. Neither of us can have any bearing on it."

"He invited three hundred people for you," She snapped, concern fleeing as abruptly as her anger was returning. "He said she didn't belong in a pack-"

"He was upset and hurt," Sesshoumaru bit out. "He spoke in haste and anger."

"Then why isn't he here?" She snapped.

"Because his mother is angry and disappointed in him. Because he's unsure if the woman he loves wants to even see him again, much less mate him."

She opened her mouth for a cutting remark, but there was nothing.

"I'm ready to go back," Souten said from behind her. Kagome turned and saw the contrite expression on Souten's face and stepped to the side, letting Sesshoumaru look at her. Eri was right behind her, strangely subdued.

"I'm going to head home," Eri said, her purse on her shoulder. Both women filed past them and walked down the stairs to their cars quickly, as if desperate to leave. It was anticlimatic at best, utter desertion at worst.

And it left her and Sesshoumaru on either side of the doorway, their words hanging between them.

She tried to hold on to her childish, petulant anger, but the more she looked at him, the more tired he seemed.

"I was unaware he felt he had to invite so many on behalf of my name and duties. It has been taken care of," He finally said.

And she felt lower than a slug.

"I'm sorry," She sighed, trying not to fidget and failing. "Come on in," She said, walking inside and gesturing for him to follow. He did, closing the door behind him. She showed him into the living room, acutely aware of the difference between her mother's home and his upscale apartment. But he didn't seem bothered by it in the least.

He did appear to be examining the carnage of the last three days, stacks of dvds and nail polish and magazines everywhere, half eaten bags of different candies on the coffee table.

"You surprise me," He admitted as she began to clean up the mess.

"How's that?"

"I had not thought you the type to indulge in-" He didn't finish, perhaps unable to find a proper term for what it was she and her friends had been doing for three days.

"Just because I'm serious about my studies doesn't mean I'm not a woman," She muttered sullenly, angry that he saw her that way. Wondering if she'd stepped into that vague, rather unpleasant zone where she was no more than some genderless, amorphous being, she shied away from an unpleasant twinge of actual hurt the comment spurred.

"I never said that. Sometimes I wondered if you were ashamed to admit to it," He added quietly.

"That I'm a woman?" She asked, staring at him dumbly.

"That you have the same habits and desires as other women," He said softly.

"I never stopped being a woman just because I put some things on hold," She muttered, face heating as he stared at her, expression considering, curious. "I'm like anyone else. I just have different priorities."

His expression shifted, and though it was a subtle change, it was no less complete. His eyes seemed shuttered suddenly, as if he had stopped looking for something.

"I suppose so," He agreed.

She fled to the kitchen under the guise of throwing everything away, his comment stinging even though it had been agreement.


	26. Kiss Your Mate Day

She was asleep when she felt it, the insistent prodding of youki. Blinking several times, she stared at her door, wondering if she could get away with pulling the blanket over her head. A quick glance at her alarm clock proved that it was two in the morning. Why would Sesshoumaru be waking her up at two in the morning?

“No,” She muttered, knowing he could probably hear it on the other side of the door. She ignored the intensifying of the pull and put her pillow over her head. Maybe he would get the hint and let her sleep. It had been the first time all week she had gotten to sleep before midnight and she had hoped to enjoy several uninterrupted hours before getting up and spending the whole day studying.

But apparently, whatever it was that had him poking her with his youki was important enough for him to open her door and walk in uninvited. Despite their comfort with one another, that was one of the few unspoken rules they had.

“Kagome, I know you're awake.”

“I don't want to be,” She muttered.

“This is important,” He promised. “Get dressed and meet me downstairs. Hurry.”

She groaned, sitting up as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. Muttering about crap excuses and lack of sleep, she walked over to her closet and pulled out jeans and a shirt, then thought and added a sweater for good measure. Grumbling, she quickly dressed, to even bothering to throw her pajamas in the hamper, letting them stay where they dropped on the floor.

Kagome quickly brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back, grabbing a pair of socks and, still half asleep, stumbling out of her room and walking downstairs to see Sesshoumaru already waiting. He was dressed casually, although he looked as if he was merely going out for a morning jaunt. Not somewhere at two in the morning.

Ignoring his amused glance she sat and pulled her socks on and then walked over to the door, pausing only to pull on her shoes. They rode the elevator down, and she refused to ask what hare brained adventure he was dragging her into so late...or early, whichever it was.

He only seemed more amused when they got into his car. Ignoring his unnaturally good cheer she tilted the seat back and closed her eyes, intent on getting whatever sleep she could. It was easy to fall asleep. It was more difficult to keep from growling when he gently shook her awake. Somehow she had developed a crick in her neck.

Groaning, she looked around and saw that they were at the airport. Not feeling charitable in the least, she got out and walked towards the jet, ignoring the man standing by the stairs completely. She felt Sesshoumaru following, could feel that he was still amused by her glowering and grumbling.

He was still smiling a small, secretive smile when he sat across from her in the jet.

“Sesshoumaru, why are you doing this?” She whined plaintively.

“Because I was asked.”

“Not by me,” She muttered.

“You're far less curious than you were last time.”

“I was awake last time,” Kagome retorted.

“There's coffee.”

“I'm going back to sleep.”

He didn't protest, and she buckled the seat belt and tilted the chair back, grateful that at least it was his jet and that it was luxurious. And that, should she snore, he would be the only one to hear it. Annoyed as she was, she almost hoped she did, because it would be sure to annoy the stubborn inu.

But her curiosity was sparked. He had been asked to drag her out of bed in the wee hours of the morning? Who would want them to fly out in the middle of the night?

“Are Tala and Inu Yasha alright?” She asked, panic beginning to form a tight knot in her stomach.

“Everyone is fine,” He assured.

And because it was obviously not an emergency, she refused to satisfy his smug smirk by asking any further questions. Even if, as they pulled away from the ground and flew over Tokyo, she was really, very curious.

However, exhaustion and good sense won out. When they were over the ocean she finally fell asleep, lulled by the quiet hum of the engines. Restless, dreamless sleep pulled her under.

The bump of the landing shocked her back into waking, and she moaned incoherently, running a hand through her mussed hair.

“We've arrived,” He announced.

“I got that,” She muttered.

He looked slightly chagrined, and she wondered if he was growing tired of her attitude. But he said nothing, merely waiting patiently for the pilot to tell them it was alright before he open the door and waited for the stairs to be brought to the jet. Following him quietly, she got into the rental car and crossed her arms petulantly.

She refused to ask.

She really wanted to.

But it was the principal of the thing at this point.

Half an hour later her curiosity was killing her.

But she kept her mouth shut as they navigated the island, and it wasn't until he pulled off onto a small road that she began to recognize the area.

“We're on Nago?” She asked. He nodded but said nothing. “Why are we on Nago?”

“You're finally asking?” He chuckled.

“No,” She muttered, turning her head to look out of the window.

“Then I'm not telling you.”

She huffed quietly and waited. Even if he had never cracked before, there was always a first time. And beneath his smugness there was a sort of...Excitement, she supposed. It was barely felt, but there was a feel to his youki, something anticipatory.

Recognizing the park they pulled into, she got out wondering what he could be up to. But she could feel the presence of other youkai, and was going to ask when he was pulling her into his arms and running, the wind pressing against her.

“Warning would have been nice,” She grumbled. A chuckle vibrated in his chest, was lost in the sound of wind rushing past them as he carried her to their destination. Within moments he was stopping so abruptly she was afraid she was going to fly out of his arms.

Her reprimand was lost when she saw the group that had gathered in the darkness.

“Inu Yasha, Tala?” She asked dumbly.

“Hey guys, you made it on time. We were worried.”

“On time for what?”

“He didn't tell you?” Tala asked, surprise coloring her words.

“She was sullen after I woke her,” Sesshoumaru chuckled. “And since she refused to admit curiosity, I didn't tell her.”

“That's shitty of you,” Inu Yasha chuckled.

“What's going on?” She demanded, not liking how out of the loop she felt.

“Mom?”

She turned and saw Shippou standing there, a smile gracing his features. Souten was standing next to him, a grin on her face as she fidgeted.

“Shippou, Souten,” She said, smiling when she saw their linked arms. After the week before, she hadn't been sure they would even stay together, although she had hoped. The solid confirmation eased a fear she had been keeping to herself since their argument had happened.

And when they walked over to the cliff edge and took one another's hands, she understood.

What words were exchanged seemed superfluous to the meaning lying beneath them, to the gentle cadence of their voices. She watched, chest tightening as the sun rose behind them, outlining their bodies in rose and gold as they sky lightened to pinks, purples and blues.

When the blessing was called for, both she and Sesshoumaru stepped forward in turn, offering blessings. Her voice wobbled strangely and her eyes misted as she offered them hope and love, patience and understanding. Shippou and Souten both nodded and thanked her, never pausing to look at her, so wrapped up in their moment that she knew she could have spouted gibberish and they would not have noticed. Probably, anyway.

Sesshoumaru offered a more traditional blessing, one that was easily twice as long and stilted as as her own, and she fought the urge to giggle when Shippou let out a snort about women creating a home and men protecting it.

But when he finished and stepped back, Souten and Shippou both slid rings onto one another's fingers and kissed, and she let out a loud whooping cheer, echoed by Tala. Even Inu Yasha let out a shout of glee. Sesshoumaru smiled, a rare, true, wide smile that was, in effect, his version of shouting.

“Thank you all for coming,” Shippou said.

“Welcome to the pack,” Sesshoumaru answered, nodding to Souten, who sniffed once, as if ready to cry.

“We'll meet you guys at the building. I need some fucking sleep,” Inu Yasha said as Souten and Shippou disappeared into the forest. Kagome, knowing how sensitive the hearing of inu youkai was, figured they would probably want to vacate the island as soon as possible, at least if the looks her son had been giving his new mate meant what she thought they did.

“Plane seats are not conducive to rest,” Tala agreed, linking arms with her husband. They took the stairs in leaps and bounds, quickly disappearing from view.

“You could have told me,” Kagome said, linking arms with her alpha as they strolled down the stairs at a more sedate pace.

“You seem to enjoy surprises,” He commented quietly. “It was a good ceremony.”

“I think everyone walked away happy.”

“Or ran,” he chuckled.

“I do not want to think about that,” She muttered. “He might be your pack mate, but he's still my son.”

“Hnn. You are pleased, though.”

She was quiet as they walked, the sun still rising and washing away the shadows. For several minutes she looked for words to explain the feeling she carried in her, the warmth that seemed gently held and sustained by the love she had seen shining in the eyes of the two youkai.

“Across this world in June, the petals all have fallen, but the mountain temple's blossoms have just begun to bloom,” She recited softly, a soft smile gracing her lips as she spoke. “I regretted so much that spring had gone without a trace, I did not know that it had only moved.”

He was quiet, but she knew he understood the meaning she conveyed. It was, perhaps, nothing like what the author had meant for people to see, but the words fit what her heart had felt, still felt.

And she trusted him to understand.


	27. Loyalty Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Loyalty Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **A Note:** Okay guys, it's been really hard to figure out what to do due to my computer error. Unlike last time Hunter decided to be a twerp and die on me, this time I will be posting my backlogged chapters to catch up to the current date. So I don't kill the front page, I'll be posting to this once every couple of days until it's caught up. And no, I am not dead lol. Also, Loyalty Day is May First. So yeah. Month late. *ahem*

___________________

She would give just about anything, including a healthy portion of her life, to be anywhere but where she was that very second.

“Kagome, are you alright?” Eri asked again.

“Fine,” She muttered, trying to keep turned away from the woman that had moved progressively closer little by little over the past five minutes.

“You're acting like you hate this place, your face is all scrunched up.”

“I don't hate this place,” She whispered, knowing it was futile. The youkai could hear everything.

“Your friend does not dislike this establishment, she dislikes me.”

Well, now that it was out in the open she didn't have to hide the fact that being stuck in a shop with Sesshoumaru's mother bothered her.

“I'm sure that's not-”

“It is,” Kagome muttered. “Can we just go? I promise we'll look at any other shop you want.”

“Kagome,” Eri muttered, mortified. Which was surprising, considering that her friend had been just as rude, if not more so, to Sesshoumaru only a few months before.

“It's quite alright. I'm not especially fond of her kind either.”

“Her kind?” Eri snapped, horror immediately taking a back seat to her indignation. “Just what is that supposed to mean?”

Sesshoumaru's mother only looked amused at Eri's outburst, and Kagome wanted to grab her friend and just go, but apparently something about the woman's choice of words had sent Eri into a full blown rage, because words were coming out of her friends mouth that she was sure never would in other circumstances. And while Eri's defense of her was touching in a way, her friend was touching on things that Kagome was almost positive didn't care about.

“You don't even know her!” Eri berated. Kagome realized the manager was staring on in abject terror.

“I don't need to,” Sesshoumaru's mother said with a smug smirk. “It is enough that a _mongrel_ ,” The word was said with such amusement and venom that Kagome was vaguely impressed the woman managed to pack that much inflection into two simple syllables. Or would have been, had she not imagined stuffing her down a storm drain. Or a well. Dry old wells that ate youkai. “Is sniffing around my son, accepting his scraps as if she deserved them.”

“Your son?” Eri snapped. “Kagome would never have anything to do with any brat you managed to produce.”

Oh that was...Swell. Kagome resisted the urge to bury her face in her palms and skulk out the door.

“Her son is Sesshoumaru,” She interrupted. “And he is _nothing_ like his mother.”

“We are more alike than you think,” The woman said with a small, amused smile. “More than even he wishes to admit, or he would not have attained the position he has and kept it. He does not have the time for children.”

“I have had enough,” Eri snapped. “You can be a bitch all you want, but you can do it on your own time and with your own friends, if you have any.”

And with that Eri was dragging her out of the shop and onto the street, stomping angrily.

“I'm sorry. I should have just pretended I didn't see her.” Which she had tried, but there had been something almost challenging about the youkai's presence. Wondering if the female had been challenging her or if she had grown paranoid after being exposed to youkai again, she pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled gustily, drawing her friend's attention.

“I see where Sesshoumaru got the stick,” Eri muttered, letting go of her hand.

“What?” Because after that confrontation, the last thing she wanted to hear was Sesshoumaru compared to his mother in any way.

“She's right, they're both-”

“Eri, don't finish that sentence,” Kagome commanded, warning lacing her tone. “They are nothing alike.”

“You obviously blacked out New Year's Eve, or did I hallucinate him insulting me?”

“You were flirting with him,” Kagome bit out.

“I asked him-”

“If he was gay, single, if he wanted to go to a party. That sounds an awful lot like flirting,” She accused.

“Well it's not like you called dibs,” her friend retorted, obviously growing irate.

“I didn't want to, he's my roommate and friend. But he doesn't like people rudely questioning him.”

“So it's rude to flirt?”

Kagome did not want to tell her friend that Sesshoumaru had been more put off by the fact that her concern had vanished at the sight of him, because there was no way to fully explain that, especially delicately.

“He just doesn't like it.”

“Are you sure it's him that doesn't like it?” Eri demanded. “Or is it that you don't like it?”

“I don't have a reason-”

“You are so full of it!” Eri exploded, turning to face her and ignoring the curious stares of passerby. “I am sick of you constantly talking about him like some love sick puppy and pretending there's nothing there! Ever since he showed up you've changed, and I'm not complaining. It's about time you got over the middle school bullshit and moved on to better things. But don't keep lying to me about it!”

Kagome was unsure if she was more humiliated by the shouted tirade or the crowd that had gathered to watch. As it was she wished for nothing more than to spontaneously combust and get it over with. Surely hell couldn't be that bad, at least not compared to her current predicament. And maybe, if she was lucky and the kami took into account that she'd saved the world, they'd forgive her the uncharitable thoughts running through her head and send her to heaven.

“Call me when you've got your brain sorted out, because right now I don't want to deal with it,” Eri finished when there was no rebuttal to her outburst. Turning on her heel, she shoved past the crowd and out of sight.

Her day gone spectacularly bad, Kagome decided to head back for her apartment, praying that Sesshoumaru was running late and not there. Walking several blocks, she walked into her building and waited for the elevator. Someone shouted for her to wait.

It was Jigen.

“It's you,” He muttered, looking as if she had cut his organs from him with a dull knife.

“You can wait,” She snapped, hitting the button and watching the doors slide shut. The elevator took it's time getting to the top floor, and when she got to her door, she paused.

Youki on the other side. Sesshoumaru's youki.

_Wonderful._

Sighing, she opened the door and closed it gently, then walked past the kitchen and living room and straight for the stairs.

“Kagome-”

“Please, not today.”

She was glad she couldn't see him, because she knew he would be unhappy with her refusal to talk to him. But her confrontation, one sided as it had been, with Eri had left her strangely off balance. Unsure if she was angry or wanted to cry, she closed her bedroom door behind her just as gently as she closed the front door and then flopped onto her bed.

In less than ten minutes she had been accused of something, and it had to do with Sesshoumaru. Feeling something, doing something, both connected even though those views had come from drastically different people and had been worded just as differently.

“I am not,” She muttered sullenly into her blanket. “I am not doing anything or thinking anything.”

Because Sesshoumaru was a friend, and had proven to be one of the best friends she had ever had. She wasn't going to mess it up with some one sided teenage girl crush. She'd had enough of that sort of foolishness to last her a lifetime.


	28. Renewal Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Renewal Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

Renewal day was originally slated to be published on May 4th.

____________________________________

She'd had enough. Very truly more than enough. Between the last of her finals -why had she thought doubling down on western religious motifs and the influence of mythology of contemporary works was a good idea?- looming and the ever present specter of her presentation, she was ready to give up on her degree and go live in the wilds. Or flip burgers, or whatever it was she could do with only her bachelors, and she hadn't stopped long enough to consider what it might be, but whatever it was, it seemed far more tempting than going through another test.

Running her hands through her hair, she leaned back in the chair, then rubbed her eyes. After hours of staring at notes that she was sure she could not have written, they were tired. Briefly she entertained the idea that she might be going blind. It wasn't an entirely unappealing idea. After all, if she couldn't see, she couldn't test or look at notes for a speech.

Groaning, Kagome straightened her spine and readied herself for another small eternity of equations when she glanced at the time, doing a double take when she realized that it was already eight. Immediately she turned to look for Sesshoumaru, cast out her senses to see if she had missed him walking in. But a cursory glance of the apartment, both visually and psychically, told her he wasn't home.

Running a hand through her hair again, mussing it beyond all recognition, she looked at the clock, then outside. It was already dusk, the outer edge of it no less, with barely any light left in the sky. Worry gnawed at her stomach, and she grabbed her -new and indestructible- cell phone and quickly scrolled through the short list of names and hit the call button.

There was no ring tone, and it went straight to his stiff, rather formally worded voice mail.

“Probably just got caught up in a meeting,” She told herself, although the seed of worry had been planted. Normally he would call to let her know when he was going to be late, and the lack of contact immediately brought several scenarios to mind, few of them logical, most of them frightening.

“No,” She told herself, looking back to her notes, determined not to panic or worry and to study.

Fifteen minutes later she realized that not had she read the same line several times, but she had actually managed to go backwards and up the page as opposed to down.

Giving up, she walked over to the kitchen and began going through the fridge. Several choice items tempted her, but she took out things at random, only halfway paying attention to them as she sat them on the counter. Just as absentmindedly she began washing vegetables and cutting them, and then the meat. Taking more care and focusing, she began frying them, going through the spices they had and adding at random, picking and choosing without really considering what they would taste like together.

When she decided it was a stir fry, she stirred determinedly. Given that she had only made stir fry in the presence of Sesshoumaru, she tried to remember how he did it.

Imitating him, she grabbed the wok firmly by it's handle and jerked it, curious to see if she could flip them the same way he did.

When oil and meat and vegetables flew everywhere, she knew she couldn't. However, that realization was swamped by dawning horror as bright orange and yellow flared in her vision, blinding her and making her drop the pan.

Falling back as drops of hot oil splashed her legs, she yelped in pain and blinked several times eyes away from the conflagration. Within seconds the alarm was going off and she was backing up against the sink cabinet, terror seizing her heart and squeezing it.

The front door slammed open and she heard Sesshoumaru shouting her name before he came into view. Smoke and fire seemed to engulf him and she let out a strangled sound that had been his name when it started before she was roughly pushed to the side and he opened the cabinet.

As quickly as it had started it was over. White powder coated everything and the chemical smell of the extinguisher mingled with the burnt smell of metal and wood.

“Are you alright?” He asked, turning the gas off and dropping the extinguisher carelessly before kneeling in front of her.

“I didn't mean to, I-”

“Are you alright?” He asked again, hands coming to her shoulders.

“I'm sorry-”

“Kagome, are you alright?” He demanded, his voice gaining a steel edge that snapped her gaze away from the ruined cabinets and powder coated stove.

“I think so,” She whimpered, afraid of that hard quality to his voice. Not only had she messed up fooling around, but she could have easily destroyed their home with her carelessness. It was only because he'd managed to walk in at the perfect moment that he'd saved the apartment and her.

“Can you stand?”

She nodded, pushing herself up and cough as they walked out of the kitchen, kicking the dust into the air. He forced her to sit down and walked away just long enough to hop onto the counter in the kitchen and turn the alarm off. When he hopped back down, a flurry of the chemical dust flew up around him, forcing out a bout of sneezing.

She couldn't help it.

A giggle escaped.

And then another.

And then another.

It didn't stop, becoming a sort of hysterical, sobbing laughter that made him eye her warily when he came and knelt in front of her. His brows knit in confusion she shrugged away when his hands moved to cup her face.

“I am such a moron,” She gasped, smiling and rubbing her face. “I faced down youkai and destroyed Naraku, even took you on, destroyed the jewel, and I froze at the sight of a house fire.”

“It does seem a little unusual,” He conceded, looking none the less concerned for the agreement.

“A little?” She hiccuped. “I almost burned down our apartment because I turned into some mindless idiot. Darwin would be amazed I'm still here.”

“Kagome-”

“I'm fine,” She tried to assure him, forcing her breathing to calm with deep measured breaths. “I'm just, it was so stupid. And I destroyed the kitchen.”

He looked back from her to the kitchen and gave her a small smile.

“Perhaps it was time for a new one,” He offered.

When she began laughing again, it had lost it's hysterical edge and was more wry amusement. When he joined her with quiet chuckling, she didn't deny him the amusement. However, when he told her she was no longer allowed to play in the kitchen she gave him a flat look.

“Unsupervised,” He amended.

“I'm-”

“Accident prone.”

“That's-” She sputtered.

“True.”

“You're-” She started, determined to finish at least one sentence.

“Alpha,” He finished, interrupting her with a smirk.

“Lucky I don't strangle you,” She muttered.

“So,” He said at last, brows still arched in amusement. “I suppose we're going out tonight?”

When she pushed the pillow in his face and let out an annoyed huff, she couldn't stop the laughter, this time free of desperation or self derision, that flowed out.


	29. No Diet Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**No Diet Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** This was originally slated to be posted May 6

Update 1/2

~*~

“Get dressed,” Sesshoumaru told her.

“I am dressed,” She retorted, relaxing on the couch with a novel she had purloined from his growing collection of mysteries. After weeks and weeks of studying and going over her presentation, she decided a break, a real one, was in order.

“So you are. I suppose jeans wouldn't go amiss.”

“Amiss for what?”

“Your celebration dinner,” He answered blithely.

“My what?”

“You completed your last final yesterday.”

She nodded. It had been utter murder, especially given her stress from the fire, but she felt that she had done well on it.

“I think you deserve a reward for your diligence.”

“What?”

“There's an event I have procured tickets for.”

“An event?” He was being exceptionally obtuse, and it was worrying her.

“Well, I can't cook here,” He reminded her, making her blush hotly. Though the chemical smell was gone and they had gone over different cabinet designs, nothing had been settled on. The blackened cabinets still hung in the kitchen, a reminder of her mistake.

“What should I wear?”

“It's a sort of food tasting. Something comfortable.”

She already was comfortable, but she doubted he would want to be seen with her while she was wearing her yoga pants and a tank top. Nodding, she got up from the couch and walked up to her room, stretching her back as she did so.

Jeans seemed too casual, and when she looked at her skirts she was surprised to find that she had only denim skirts, nothing very nice. Which left her dresses. The only one she had bought in recent months had been the one she'd worn on white day, and that was far too extravagant for a simple food tasting.

But she went through her others and picked out a simple sky blue sundress, shrugging off her clothes and quickly changing. A quick look in the mirror and she decided to leave her hair down, although she gave it a quick brush before grabbing a pair of sandals. She was slipping one on when she opened the door to her room and felt it stopped. Looking up she saw clawed fingers reaching over the side.

“Sorry,” She mumbled, stepping out. He nodded, eyes flicking to her attire before a smile tilted up the corner of his lips.

“Is this alright?”

“Perfect,” He told her, offering his arm for support while she slipped her other sandal on. He was dressed in jeans and a simple cotton shirt, making her rethink her choice. But once she had her shoes on he was leading her down the stairs and to the door, taking a moment to slip on the bracelet that hid his features.

When they got in the elevator she nudged him in his side.

“So what sort of shindig is this?”

“Different restaurants have come together to show off their skills and to have a small sort of festival. It's purely to try and outdo one another and gain more investors, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the food,” He chuckled. The elevator stopped and opened, and Kagome repressed a groan.

Jigen stepped in, eyes narrowing on her as he shuffled into the corner.

“Hi,” He muttered.

“Hello,” She greeted, feeling almost badly for what she had done the other day. Sesshoumaru however, remained silent.

“So you live in the penthouse?” Jigen asked, eying Sesshoumaru sceptically.

“I own the building.”

“Yeah right,” Jigen scoffed.

“Sesshoumaru,” Kagome whispered, sensing the youkai tense. She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned against him, a nudge to remind him that they were in an elevator.

“Your parents pay your lease, and you are only one violation away from said lease being terminated. I'm hoping your next party provides the excuse the building administrator needs to remove you.”

“Why don't you kick me out?” The boy asked, crossing his arms and looking haughty.

“Because I don't have time to deal with the paperwork compiled by brats like you, I have hired people to do that for me,” Sesshoumaru answered, voice apathetic as the doors opened. He walked out, and she kept a clipped pace to keep up with him, arms still around his waist.

“Sesshoumaru, what's wrong?” She asked, surprised by the vehemence of his reaction.

“The moment you said hello to him his scent changed.”

Well that was telling, she thought sarcastically.

“He's an idiot Sesshoumaru, and if you let him ruin my celebration dinner I'm going to going to spray your whole room down with that catnip spray Souten got Shippou as a joke.”

He paused for a moment, looking down at her before his eyes widened.

“You really would do it, wouldn't you?”

“I've insulted your mother, survived helping someone give birth and burned down your kitchen. Of course I'd do it,” She informed him smartly.

His laughter was one of the most rewarding experiences of the last month and a half of hell, and she squeezed his middle, allowing him to lead the way outside. They walked in companionable silence, him gently leading her through the crowded sidewalk. After five or six blocks, she had lost count, they turned a corner and she was surprised to see two large tents taking up most of the park.

“Shall we?”

“I suppose we should. It would be a waste if we didn't, especially since I could be working on my presentation,” She teased. He made a disgruntled sound, leading her over to the tent and presenting their tickets. They were welcomed into the tents after donning wristbands.

The next four hours she was treated to cooking demonstrations from three different culinary schools and several restaurants. The samples given out were all superb, each enjoyed with smiles. At one point Sesshoumaru brought them both a glass of wine and they walked around, full and enjoying the almost show like quality of the event.

When they paused in front of a booth where a man was basking in the adulation of the crowd, Sesshoumaru made an amused sound, drawing the chef's attention.

“Sesshoumaru, is that you?” The chef asked, eyes widening.

“It is,” Sesshoumaru confirmed.

“It's been too long. Everyone, this is one of the best chefs I have ever had the grace to work with.”

“I thought you said you were never a chef,” Kagome murmured.

“Only because he couldn't stand the customers,” The chef laughed heartily. “He quit within a week, and left me high and dry,” He added, his tone a mockery of accusation.

“It was better that I leave before offending another of your customers, not to mention the critics.”

Kagome wondered about the story behind that, but the cheerful man -youkai, she noted after careful scanning, feeling the subtle pulse of youki- was blustering and demanding Sesshoumaru come behind the table.

“I want to see if you've let it all go to waste.”

“I haven't,” Sesshoumaru amended.

Kagome had seen Sesshoumaru the Warrior, Sesshoumaru the Alpha, even Sesshoumaru the Lonely. But she had never seen Sesshoumaru the Showman. And there was no other label for what he was doing as he accepted a chef coat and began working with the other youkai, relaxed and even joking with him.

Items were cut and tossed and sauteed and flambeed, everything done with a flair that was she had never seen him use when cooking in the privacy of their home. The small crowd that had gathered grew, and she heard not only the compliments on their antics, and tossing pans full of food back and forth counted as nothing else, but the sly comments about the 'young chef' that several women and not a few men made.

“Chefs are always the best lovers,” Someone whispered.

“I've heard. I've never seen him before. Maybe he's a new student of Komo's?”

“I'd have heard about it, I eat there twice a week.”

The blatant observation of Sesshoumaru made her bristle, and by the time the two youkai finished she was ready to snap at everyone that Sesshoumaru wasn't even a chef.

Except he came over to her with a smile and presented her with a small plate. The portion was tiny, but it looked too good to pass up. She accepted the plate and the fork he offered and took a small bite. It was still hot, but it didn't dull the sweetness or the bite of some seasoning unknown to her.

“This is delicious,” She murmured, offering him a bite on the fork. He took a curious bite and nodded thoughtfully.

“Perhaps too much paprika.”

She made a noise and rolled her eyes, crowd forgotten. It was as if they were in their own kitchen again and nothing strange had been said.

“You are such a show off.”

He smirked, removing the chef coat and turning to the other youkai, trading a passing comment.

“If you ever decide to come back-”

“I won't,” Sesshoumaru interrupted. “I have found a much more appreciative audience.”

“I can see that,” Komo chuckled, turning back to his improvised kitchen and immediately fielding questions about Sesshoumaru.

Grateful to slip away, she continued taking delicate bites of the dessert, humming appreciatively now and again.

“Thank you,” She said, offering him another bite, which he took and gave a hum of his own.

“For?” He asked a moment later.

“I really needed this.”

And if 'this' referred to the treat for surviving finals or for interrupting her almost outburst at the presumptuous whispers, she didn't say.  


	30. Lost Sock Memorial Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Lost Sock Memorial Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** Lost Sock Memorial Day is actually May 9.

Update 2/2

~*~

She grabbed the basket from the top of the dryer and was halfway up the stairs when the front door opened. Sesshoumaru stepped in, someone else following him. She quickly surmised that it was a youkai from the feel of their aura and called out a quick hello before continuing on to her room. Hoping it was the carpenter Sesshoumaru had mentioned in passing, she quickly folded her laundry, putting her things away in her drawers.

However, something was missing.

One sock.

Frustrated, she walked back down the stairs, hoping to grab the last from the dryer. She walked past the youkai in the kitchen and into the laundry room, opening the dryer and making a frustrated sound. It wouldn't bother her normally, except that, in light of the newest odd sock, she had almost a dozen odd socks, all without matches, all too different to match with eachother.

“Is everything alright?” Sesshoumaru asked when she walked back out, eyes narrowed.

“The dryer keeps eating my socks.”

He blinked once, as if she had suggested that fairies lived in the dryer and were responsible for the loss.

“My girl says it's tsukumogami,” The other youkai chuckled. “She's got a drawer full of odd socks.”

“Do they actually exist?” She asked. It had never occurred to her that it was possible for household objects to become possessed. But given that she lived with a youkai, one who probably owned several things that were easily a hundred years old, if not more, she wondered if maybe they didn't.

“No,” Sesshoumaru said, voice final.

“Never know,” The carpenter laughed. “After all, we don't exist, now do we?”

The idea of household objects coming to life was too eerie, even for her.

“Tell me you don't have anything over a hundred years old here,” She pleaded.

“I own several objects, none of which come to life while we are asleep,” Sesshoumaru commented wryly. “They are merely an invention of a superstitious people.”

That didn't help her in the least, because youkai were supposedly the invention of a superstitious people. Not that she was going to say that in front of two youkai. Somehow she doubted they'd appreciate the rhetoric.

“Still, I've got half a dozen missing socks. They have to be going somewhere.”

“Black hole,” Sesshoumaru said, turning back to the kitchen, waving her over. She stepped in, looking at the stripped walls that had been repainted while she had been at school. The smell had mostly faded to her, although she knew it was unbearable to Sesshoumaru, who hadn't been able to eat in the apartment since the accident.

“We are trying to figure out a stain.”

“Most of apartment has darker colors,” She pointed out.

“The previous cabinets were walnut,” Sesshoumaru told the carpenter, who was looking at the kitchen and the surrounding apartment.

“How about cherry?” Kagome chimed in.

“Cherry would fit well, better than brown,” The carpenter admitted. Sesshoumaru said nothing, eyes still on the wall.

“I dislike red,” He admitted.

“It's not red red though,” Kagome told him, leaning against a counter. “It's brown red. Auburn.”

“I think it would work,” The carpenter added.

Sesshoumaru nodded, a smile tilting the corner of his lips. Kagome made a satisfied sound, surprised when the youkai opened the messenger bag on the counter and pulled out a tape measure and a notebook. Within seconds he had most of the kitchen measured.

“Will you want to replace these?” He asked, gesturing to the cabinets beneath the counter Kagome leaned against. Sesshoumaru nodded and Kagome blushed, uttering a quiet apology as she sprang away from them so that they too could be measured.

Five minutes after that they were all gathered around the table, Kagome watching in awe as the youkai, who had absentmindedly introduced himself as Araki, draw up different sketches for the kitchen. Halfway through Kagome realized that not only were they getting new cabinets, but it looked like the whole kitchen would be getting remodeled as well. When she commented on it Sesshoumaru raised a silver brow -his bracelet having been discarded earlier- archly.

“The stove was beyond saving,” He pointed out dryly. She blushed hotly and mumbled something so incoherent even she had no idea what she had said.

“Kitchen accidents happen,” Araki laughed. “I wouldn't get half as much work if they didn't. But I can embed wards into these to fire proof them.”

Kagome couldn't stop herself from blushing even more hotly.

“I was unaware you could do such,” Sesshoumaru stated, interest sharpening.

“Can't. My father can though.”

“It would be a kindness.”

“I'm not that bad,” Kagome muttered sullenly.

“Accidents happen,” Araki chuckled. “There's no shame in it. My girl's just coming into her powers. There's nothing worse than for a carpenter to be forced into buy metal cabinetry.”

“Metal-?” Kagome asked, confused.

“Her mother was a kitsune, and Houka's foxfire has begun to manifest,” Araki explained. “Lost half of my own kitchen the first time, the second time I decided it's metal cabinets until she gets old enough to control it.”

“It only happens in the kitchen?” Kagome asked, eyes wide.

“Oh it happens other places too!” He assured her, blue eyes lit with mirth and laughter. “But she learned to aim for windows after she melted the television.”

Kagome couldn't help it, a giggle escaped, which triggered Araki's laughter. Even Sesshoumaru was smirking at the declaration. Araki continued sketching, hands flying over his drawing pad until Sesshoumaru made an approving sound at the layout presented.

After that there were basic sketches of the cabinets themselves. Kagome made a happy sound at the first design, pleased by it's simplicity. Sesshoumaru agreed, hand cupping his chin as he peered down at the sketch itself.

“Well then,” Araki said, nodding firmly. “I can get these done in no time. I'll be by in a couple of days to make sure the frames are correct, if that's alright.”

“That will be fine,” Sesshoumaru agreed. “Thank you for doing this on such short notice.”

“After all of the work you've sent my way?” Araki fairly chortled as he put his sketchpad back in his bag. “Everyone who likes to fashion themselves are either powerful or important know you come to me for crafting, and it's fun to watch them try to outdo one another, even when they're being pains in my-

He stopped, casting an apologetic glance in Kagome's direction. “Posterior. Besides, you're one of the few I enjoy working for, don't mind me saying so.”

“It is well then,” Sesshoumaru said with a nod, extending his hand and shaking Araki's before they both stood. Kagome did as well, offering a quiet goodbye. Araki tipped his head and waved, walking himself out as if he was a frequent visitor instead of hired labor. Once the door closed behind him Sesshoumaru walked over to the living room and sat on one of the couches.

“He seems nice,” Kagome said, sitting across from him and drawing her feet up under her.

“Araki is a skilled craftsman and a talented spy,” Sesshoumaru chuckled.

“Spy?” She asked, eyes widening.

“His work puts him in important houses quite frequently, and few give him the consideration he deserves. He is one of my most trusted employees, although I rarely use either of his talents. If he ever hears anything worth knowing, he'll mention it to me, but otherwise we have little contact. These days there is little need.”

“Still,” She murmured, thinking about the youkai that had sat and joked about his daughter at their dining table. Spying just seemed so out of place for so jovial a personality.

“You know better than any that appearances are often deceiving.”

She nodded quietly before slanting a sly glance in his direction.

“So about those tsukumogami. Do they really exist?”

“Fairy tales,” Sesshoumaru laughed.

“But you're a fairy tale.”

“Hardly,” He chuckled. “Some objects may become possessed, some might even come to life given the proper handling, but regular household items such as shoes or dryers?” Here he raised his brow, obviously mocking her. “No, those are not the sorts of items that gain life of their own.”

“I still say something is eating my socks,” She countered. “Otherwise they're just vanishing into thin air, and no matter what you say, tsukumogami are easier to believe in than a black hole in the dryer.”

“I suppose so,” He conceded.  


	31. Twilight Zone Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twilight Zone Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** This chapter was set to be posted on May 11th.

Update 1/2

~*~

Kagome was tapping away at her computer, putting the final touches on her presentation when she heard the knocking. Curious, she got up and walked to the door, cursing Sesshoumaru for not having a peephole. Opening it cautiously she peeked through the crack, immediately recognizing Araki. However, when she heard the high pitched noise coming from a slightly lower altitude, she looked down, eyes widening as she looked at a little girl with bright red hair and light blue eyes.

She looked like a feminine Shippou.

“Sorry, my father had another order to deliver-” He started, looking slightly embarrassed.

“You must be Houka,” Kagome said, nodding at the little girl. Blue eyes visibly brightened.

“Papa says you have tsukumogami,” The girl whispered.

“I do,” Kagome agreed sagely, stepping back and opening the door wider so that they could come in. Araki and Houka walked in, Houka staring around in wide eyed wonderment.

“Papa said you set the kitchen on fire. Are you getting new powers too?”

Araki made a strangled sound before casting an apologetic glance in her direction. Kagome laughed and bent her knees until she was closer to the youkai's height.

“Nope, I've always had the power,” Kagome confided.

“What power? Like my foxfire?”

“Nope. The power of clumsiness,” Kagome chuckled, immediately warming to the little girl. While she might have looked like Shippou, she was nothing like her rough and tumble adopted kit had been. Another sound echoed from Araki's direction, followed by the little youkai's giggle.

“Little imp, you promised to behave,” Araki admonished as he sat the toolbox he had been carrying on the floor.

“I didn't do anything papa!” The kit whined plaintively, her blue eyes widening and immediately showing her kitsune heritage as they began to shine with unshed tears.

“Not going to work on me kit.”

The little youkai turned to Kagome.

“Not going to work on me,” She chuckled. “My son's a kitsune and I got used to those tricks years ago.”

“Your son?” Araki asked, looking up from the toolbox. Genuine shock reflected in his tone, showed in his eyes.

“It's a long story,” Kagome laughed, standing back up. “But Shippou is my son. I adopted him when he was still young.”

“But you're a human. Shippou-sama is grown up.”

“Houka,” Araki warned.

“It's fine,” Kagome assured him before looking back down at the girl. “Would you like to hear a fairy tale?”

While Araki worked in the kitchen, unfolding wooden frames that turned into box like shapes emulating cabinets, Kagome took Houka into the living room and began telling her about the old well and Inu Yasha, who she had heard of but never met. Censoring out the gory details and anything that could cast Sesshoumaru or Inu Yasha in a less than favorable light, she realized it cut out a good portion of the adventure, shortening it considerably. However, she had only gotten halfway through when Araki was closing his toolbox and walking over, an amused grin on his face.

“Sounds like quite the adventure. Time traveling and sacred jewels and evil hanyou.”

“I want to know about the time traveling priestess!” Houka announced. Kagome giggled, realizing that the kit had not caught on to the fact that she had been alluding to herself throughout the story.

“Maybe next time,” Kagome said, standing and ruffling the girls shock of red hair. Houka made a frustrated noise, her eyes widening again.

“I've become immune to those sorts of tricks,” Kagome reminded the child.

“Papa?” Houka asked, swinging her gaze to her father, who immediately looked suspicious.

“What is it spitfire?”

“Can Kagome-sama come have ice cream with us?” The child wheedled.

“Houka,” He started. Immediately the little girl wilted, and Kagome remembered the reference Araki had made the last time she had seen him. When referencing the kit's mother he had used past tense. She remembered her own mother using that tense when referring to her father. Not knowing how long it had been since the child had lost her mother, she wondered if it had been recent, given how the child had latched onto her.

“If you don't have anything planned after this, I don't mind,” She said. Araki looked mildly surprised, then shrugged when his daughter let out a delighted whooping sound.

“Can't hurt.”

“There's a parlor down the street,” She announced. Houka let out another cheer, immediately following it with pleading for Kagome to finish the story. Kagome laughed, asking for a moment to grab her purse. She quickly jogged up the stairs and into her room. Ignoring the mirror in her bathroom entirely she put her hair up in a messy bun and grabbed her purse before jogging back down the stairs. Houka was rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, and Araki was shaking his head, although why Kagome had no idea.

Houka began chattering excitedly as they walked out, and before they'd even hit the elevator Kagome felt the brush of youkai against her senses. Looking over to Araki in bewilderment, she saw that the only real sign of his heritage, his ears that had been visible with his shaggy, short cropped hair, were rounded. Looking down, she saw that Houka's red hair was still a mop of fiery red, but her eyes had changed, pupils rounded and her tail was missing.

“Precautions. She can't control her disguises yet,” Araki explained with a lopsided smile. Kagome nodded, waiting patiently for the elevator and stepping in when Araki waited patiently.

“Tell me more about the priestess!” Houka demanded impatiently.

The two blocks to the ice cream parlor and the entire time through sundaes Kagome talked, stopping to let Houka ask questions as she gobbled her icecream. By the time the story was finished Houka was bouncing in her seat excitedly.

“Papa, can I learn to fire a bow and arrow like the priestess?”

“Dunno Spitfire, you'd have to ask her.”

“How can I ask her?” Houka asked, blue eyes widening wildly.

“I've got some time off this summer,” Kagome chuckled. “I could teach you how to use a bow.”

“Really?” Houka asked, eyes shining with admiration. Kagome wondered if the child had still not realized that she had been the miko.

“Really,” She laughed. “But I do need to get going. Thank you Araki, it's been nice to get out from under my books,” Kagome said, standing up. Araki nodded, smiling the same lopsided smile as before.

“Why don't you go put this in the tip jar Spitfire,” Araki said, handing a small banknote to his daughter, who bounced over to the counter. He turned to Kagome, who was readying to offer a goodbye. “Thank you. Since her mother passed she's had only my father and I for company.”

“It's nothing. My father passed when I was still young. I know how hard it can be to lose a parent.”

“My condolences.”

“It was a long time ago,” She sighed. “But it was nice to get away from my books for awhile. She's a really sweet kid. And I meant what I said about archery practice.”

“You might regret that.”

“I doubt it,” She chuckled.

“Thank you again Kagome,” He finally said, extending his hand. She shook it lightly, smiling at the youkai.

“Till next time,” She promised, pausing only when Houka latched onto her leg.

“It won't be too long will it?” The kit asked, smile wide and fairly trembling with excitement.

“Not terribly long,” Kagome promised.

With that she waved goodbye to the two youkai and left the shop, humming all the way back to the apartment building while trying to remember where her bow was at her mother's house and if there was a smaller one for Houka. When she couldn't remember if there was, she wondered if Araki could make one.

When she took the elevator up and walked into her apartment, she chirruped a bright hello to Sesshoumaru, who paused before saying hello, his expression chilling as his posture stiffened.

“You've been out.”

“Yeah. Araki couldn't find anyone to watch his daughter, and I told her a bit about the feudal era. We went out for some ice cream since she wanted to finish the story,” Kagome chuckled. “She wants me to teach her how to use the bow.”

“Will you?” Sesshoumaru asked, voice neutral. Struck by his tone, Kagome turned, ignoring the table where her laptop waited and frowned.

“I don't see why not. She lost her mother recently from the sound of it, and only has Araki and his father.”

“Do you think it wise?”

“What would be unwise about it?” Kagome asked, sensing that she was missing something but not quite grasping what it was. Frowning, she walked over to the kitchen were Sesshoumaru was looking at a stack of papers.

“Araki works for me.”

“I can't give his daughter a female role model because he works for you?” Kagome asked flatly, not understanding. “Am I missing something?”

Sesshoumaru regarded her quietly through almost blank eyes before shrugging. “No.”

“No, I'm not missing something, or no, I can't teach his daughter?” She demanded.

“You're correct. His daughter lost her mother two years ago and could do with a female role model.”

Kagome sensed that he still disapproved, despite what he was saying, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Sesshumaru, what's wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing. It is a wise suggestion.”

“Fine,” She said, turning on her heel and walking over to her laptop. When Sesshoumaru walked upstairs, she was determined to ignore him. Something was off about his reaction, but he wasn't telling her what it was. That his first words had been about Araki's position as an employee bothered her, and she tried not to dwell on the statement. Surely Sesshoumaru would not have carried outdated ideas about class or caste systems into the twenty first century.

However, the more she tried to ignore it, the more the conversation, such as it had been, persisted. Unable to focus, she closed her laptop and rubbed her forehead, wondering why things were making less sense the longer she lived with her roommate.


	32. Love A Tree Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Love A Tree Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** This chapter would have been posted on May 16th, had it not been for a temperamental computer.

_This chapter is for Brenna, who really, really wanted me to write for Love A Tree Day._

~*~

Kagome sighed, staring at the steps that loomed. She wondered if she was falling prey to the phenomenon that hit most lit majors. Physical laziness. The steps went up forever, and the sight of them made her wish Sesshoumaru was with her, to carry her up. Except that he had been for the past several days, gone before she was awake and getting in after she had already begun getting ready for bed.

When she had asked, he had said only that the project he was working on was proving to be difficult. She couldn't imagine what sort of work he was doing after eight, much less nine or ten, but she didn't protest, knowing if he wanted to tell her, he would.

Sighing again, she began climbing the stairs, reminding herself to go to the gym near the apartment building. Youkai might be able to eat well and not exercise, but humans could not, much as she learned -the hard way- climbing all of the stairs, sweat beading her forehead by the time she reached the top.

Her family was either busy or gone, which she didn't know, and at that moment didn't worry about. With the confident air of someone who knew where she was going, she walked over to the goshinboku and sat down at it's roots.

For the past several years she had ignored it's existence. Moving out had been one of the single greatest blessings she could have asked for. After three years of conditioning herself to not look at that particular spot, despite knowing it was always there, that it was a permanent mark of her past, getting into an apartment on her own had provided her with relief from an overhanging pressure that had never let up.

But today she felt the need to see it. Six years had passed, to the day. Not that she had really noticed the date she had gotten back, except her friends had begun to keep count of how many days she had come to school in a row, and somehow it had emblazoned itself into her brain. Kagome wondered if any of the others knew the date, if they connected it at all, or if they only knew the season.

Sesshoumaru certainly wouldn't, and even if he had been around, she wasn't sure he would understand the strange nostalgia that had swept through her, a wave cresting and breaking. She didn't entirely understand it, although she tried to find some logic in it.

“Six years,” She mumbled. Six years of relentless studying and work, six years of sacrifice to make up for a year of traveling. And six or seven months of utter change. Welcome change. For the first time since she had come back, she had a friend, friends, that knew her, understood her. She had the pack, and that alone was a revelation. That Sesshoumaru had become her best friend...

Well, if anyone had told her they would be remotely friendly six years ago, she would have called them crazy. And if they had told her she would care about him, worry about him, six months before, she probably would have burst a blood vessel laughing.

And if they had told her she might-

“No,” She told herself firmly, shaking her head and standing up. Memories assailed her, faxes mixing and blurring until there was no distinction between them, features distorted as tears burned her eyes. She steadfastly refused to let them fall, blinking several times and glaring at the tree.

A scar gouged the surface, barely noticeable for five hundred years worth of growth, but the crevice in the bark was too easy to recognize, her eyes able to find it. For a moment she didn't see the bark, or even the tree as it was now, but as it had been, the wound on it's surface fresh and vivid.

“Not today,” She said, glaring at it and fisting her hands at her sides. “Not today and not ever. I'm done with that- that nonsense! I am not a little girl anymore!”

The tree remained silent. For a moment she wished it could speak so she could yell at it more, so that she could get a response, some sort of vindication.

But after several minutes of silence and images of axes and chainsaws, she exhaled, a gusty sigh that shuddered through her body to become a disgusted sound in the air. Feeling childish and petty, she spun on her heel, asking herself why she had come and why she had thought it would matter.

“Stupid,” She muttered to herself as she made a beeline for the steps and hurried down them. Occasionally she would say the word again as she waited for the bus, and mentally while she was actually riding it. By the time she walked into the -predictably empty- apartment, she was blind to anything but the problem and minimizing it, determined to make it so small that when she put it in the corner of her mind, whenever she could accomplish that feat, it would disappear.


	33. Bike To Work Day

Convivial

By: The Hatter Theory

National Bike To Work Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

AN: Bike to work day was on May 18th.

Update 1/2

~*~

Kagome stared at the wheel of the car, throat too thick to gulp, lungs refusing to work despite her best attempts to drag in air.

“It's alright to be nervous,” The instructor said, voice apathetic. “Everyone is nervous. Just relax.” He didn't even look up from his notepad when he spoke, but he was writing something down on it. Had she already done something wrong by hesitating? Sesshoumaru had told her several times that anxious or worried drivers were often more dangerous than the overconfident ones.

Kagome turned the key in the ignition and swallowed the startled gasp that tried to force it's way out.

'Get a grip,' She told herself, trying to remember everything Sesshoumaru had taught her. But as she shifted into drive, her foot hit the gas instead of the break and the car made a screeching sound that ground at her ears and made her want to scream in frustration.

It didn't help that they hadn't driven in almost two weeks, and that he had only reminded her test was that day. And that no one had been free to come with her, leaving her to face the car and her driver's test alone.

She tried not to think about her father in the hospital bed.

The smell of the hospital wafted in her nostrils as she pulled out of the parking spot and onto the practice road. Her heart palpitated in her chest, slamming a heavy rhythm against her ribs as she tried to breathe. There was no one else around, and the only thing between her and getting her license were several orange cones and a few painted lines on the asphalt.

She stopped at the stop sign, slowed for a yellow before stopping at red, parallel parked with surprising ease and wove through the orange cones, knocking only one over.

Once she was told to turn around, she released a sigh of utter relief laced with a slight giddiness. She had passed. The phantom smell of antiseptic and sterilized cotton sheets faded as she began to drive for the small parking lot she'd pulled out of to begin with.

“No, you need to turn here.”

_What?_

She repeated the question that had immediately shut down all of her functioning thoughts into that dumb confusion.

“That was the first part. Turn here.”

Kagome did as she was told, not entirely sure where she was going until she saw the exit sign. And the traffic that lay beyond it.

“Relax, you're jerking the wheel,” He told her, still not looking up from his notepad. Kagome wondered if she was going to be taking directions from someone that didn't even look to see where they were going. She paused at the exit sign, putting her foot down on the brake so quickly they jerked forward. The instructor said nothing this time, and the smell of the surgery rested faintly in her nostrils, seeping into the back of her throat.

Everything came in clear focus as she pulled out onto the road and into traffic. Colors became garishly, glaringly bright and sounds amplified until her ears echoed with the dissonance of the world outside of the vehicle itself.

The car jerked as she hit the brake, stomping her foot onto the peddle.

“Relax,” He said again, finally looking up from his notepad.

'You've taken on Naraku and the jewel and calmed down a bloodthirsty hanyou. Driving is not a big deal,' She told herself, mentally ordering herself to straighten and ease off of the brake.

But it was a big deal, at least her heart was telling her that, clashing loudly against the order her mind tried to impose. Her chest tightened and she could feel tears stinging her eyes. Her breath came in shuddering whimpers that only hinted at the sound of her blood roaring in her ears as they began to move.

“Turn here.”

She began to turn.

“You're going too fast,” The instructor told her.

Trembling, she pushed down on the brake.

Except she hit the gas instead.

“Not-”

Whatever the instructor had been about to say was lost as she screamed, the car seemingly alive around her as it lunged forward and slammed into the crosswalk light embedded into the ground. Metal screeching and groaning drowned out the sound of car horns going off around her. Her body jerked forward, head slamming onto the steering wheel, and the only thing she could think about was the taste of antiseptic in her mouth mixing with the smell of dried blood.

A blur of sounds and colors and sensations needled at the numbness that took over her. She could hear the instructor muttering angrily, looked up to see a policeman staring at her with concern. The door opened and she was unbuckled and helped out, the hand around her own warm and reassuring.

Ambulances screamed and she blinked owlishly, not comprehending the world around her, the pressure of sound and light becoming too much. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to be led to a bench, trying to block out the static that pervaded her senses. Darkness only brought mild relief, seeming to intensify the sounds until she was sure she would go deaf.

“Miss. Miss!”

“Huh?” She asked, realizing she was being shaken lightly on the shoulders.

“Is there anyone you would like us to call?”

“Sesshoumaru,” She said automatically, sniffing. It wasn't until that moment that she realized she was crying.

“What's his number?”

Kagome rattled it off automatically, eyes on the broken mess that the car -and the light- were. The front end of the car was caved in, pushed back in the middle, the crosswalk pole tilted up out of the ground. The instructor paced near it, face an angry scowl.

A paramedic checked her over, asking her questions that she only vaguely remembered answering. Her head was checked, and a light shined in her eyes, blinding her.

And then she felt it.

Sesshoumaru strode over, face a mask of concern. She flinched away from him when he stopped in front of her, the feel over his youki overpowering.

“What happened?” He asked quietly.

“She took a turn too fast and then hit the damn gas!” The instructor shouted, words grating on her skin like jagged glass.

“I'm sorry,” She whimpered, feeling a fresh wave of tears beginning.

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine.” It was an obvious lie, although she felt the need to say it anyway. The silence that had been persisting between them was only made worse by ending it with such a catastrophe.

“We're going home.”

Kagome nodded, accepting her purse from a policeman and shouldering it. Despite the severity of the wreck, she felt fine physically. The paramedic nodded, and she followed Sesshoumaru to his car.

And balked.

“Please,” She whimpered. “Please don't-”

The smell of antiseptic was overpowering.

Sesshoumaru stopped, looking at her intently, weighing something in his mind. She stared at him, hoping her eyes conveyed how much she didn't want to get in a car again. The very idea of stepping into the metal cage her ill, nausea rolling in her stomach.

“I'll walk,” She told him, backing away when he made no move to open the door.

“You don't need to be alone right now.”

“I do,” She whimpered. “I need- I have to get some air.”

With that she was stumbling away, spinning dizzily on her heels and forcing herself past the crowd of onlookers that had gathered to gawk at the mangled wreckage. No one seemed to notice her, too intent on staring or taking pictures of the ruined car and she shoved past them, desperate for air.

Cold seeped into her flesh, her bones. Antiseptic and dried blood, the crisp, bleached cotton sheets and the smell of a chair that hundreds of people had sat in, slept in like her mother had, assailed her senses, overpowering the sweat and exhaust from cars passing her by.

Had her father lived through that only to die in the hospital? Had he felt that terror, the moment of blinding panic?

Kagome choked on a sob that wrenched itself from deep in her chest, the sound almost painful as it echoed through her throat. The tears wouldn't stop, blurring out the world around her. Oblivious to the people around her she dropped to the ground, hands covering her face in an attempt to block out the sight of her father in a hospital bed, bruised and covered in bandages and stitches.

“Kagome,” A voice said.

“He went through that. That was the last thing he remembered,” She sobbed, imagining the hell of her last living memory being that mindless panic. “He never woke up. Mom always said it was us, but it couldn't-”

The words stopped but sound continued coming out of her mouth, muffled by his suit jacket as Sesshoumaru pulled her closer to him. Ignoring the world around them she sobbed into his jacket, clinging to him as he held her.

He offered no words of comfort, nothing to deny what she had declared. But when her body gave out, empty of tears and too exhausted to tremble, he helped her stand, caught her as she stumbled, and picked her up.

She couldn't muster the will to be embarrassed as he carried her down the sidewalk. Turning her face into his -sodden- jacket, she blocked the world out, dazed in her emotional exhaustion. Even when he walked in, opening the door with his foot and shifting her awkwardly to hit the elevator buttons she didn't blink.

It wasn't until he got into the apartment that she began to shift, wanting to be put down. But he only shifted her again, holding her more tightly as he walked upstairs and to his bedroom, bypassing hers completely.

“I'm alright,” She whispered hoarsely.

But he said nothing, removing her shoes and his own, then putting his jacket and her purse on the floor with careless tosses. They thumped on the carpet and then he was laying down next to her, pulling her close again.

“I'm fine,” She tried again.

“I'm glad you're alright,” He whispered against her forehead, voice strained. She saw him swallow thickly more than she heard it. His body tensed, pulled her closer.

Understanding then that he needed her to be there, maybe as much as she needed to be there, she closed her eyes and clung to him, allowing herself the safety he offered.


	34. Lucky Penny Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Lucky Penny Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

AN: Lucky Penny day was May 23

Update 2/2

 ~*~

Kagome hit the top of her alarm clock, flinching when her wrist made contact with the edge of her nightstand. Yawning widely, she stretched beneath the covers and hugged her pillow, burying her face in it before sitting up. Running a hand through her hair she looked over to her alarm clock.

Seven thirty.

“Crap!” She shouted, trying to throw herself from her bed and immediately getting tangled in the covers, falling flat on her face. Not even giving herself the time to appreciate how vivid carpet burn on her nose felt, she pulled herself free and rushed for the bathroom, pulling off her pajama bottoms with one hand while shoving her toothbrush in her mouth with the other.

Thanking the gods she had laid out her clothes the night before, she was still in the process of brushing her teeth as she tried to pull on the pencil skirt, rushing from her bedroom into the bathroom in a blind panic before spitting and wiping her mouth.

Her phone began to ring and she ignored it in favor of putting on her bra and the dress shirt, going so quickly that she put buttons two above the ones they were supposed to be in. Crying out in frustration she redid them, then pulled on pantyhose and shrugged her skirt down while simultaneously shoving her feet into the pumps waiting for her.

Grabbing her case she was almost out of her room before she remembered her hair. Running back to the bathroom she tugged a brush through it and pulled it into a ponytail. Her phone began ringing again and she rushed for it, flipping it open before snapping out a hello as she tried to run from her room, almost twisting her ankle.

“Kagome?”

“Sesshoumaru?” She gasped, clinging to the railing and taking the steps quickly.

“Where are you?”

“My alarm just went off a few minutes ago. I need to get-”

“Wait for me at the entrance, I'll be there in a few minutes.”

The phone call cut out and she closed the phone, shoving it into the side pocket of her case and walking out of the apartment.

She hit the elevator button.

Waited.

Hit it again.

Waited.

Her finger was mashing it angrily when she saw the lights above the doors begin lighting up, sliding from one number to another. Her finger still pressed against the button, holding it down in the futile hope that maybe she could make it go faster. Tapping her foot against the floor rapidly, she let out a gusty sigh and inhaled as the doors opened.

And immediately wished she hadn't.

The scent of cleaning agents could not blot out the overpowering stench of vomit.

“You have got to be kidding me,” She groaned as she stared at the empty elevator.

The doors began to close.

“Damnit,” She cursed, slamming her case against one of the doors and flinching when the computer clattered angrily. She prayed that had not been a crunching sound she'd heard. Turning her head away from the elevator she dragged in a deep breath and threw herself inside, pressing the lobby button and watching the doors slide shut slowly.

A quarter of the way down her lungs began to burn.

Halfway down her eyes were watering and it felt like her chest was going to either collapse or cave in, she wasn't sure.

Three quarters of the way down the air rushed from her lungs, and she covered her nose and mouth, determined not to breathe in.

When the doors opened she was retching.

Bolting out of the metal box that had been a month's worth of nightmares compressed into two minutes, she fell again, her heel twisting beneath her and sending her sprawling for the second time that morning. Crying out more from shock and frustration than pain, she pushed herself up, immediately noticing her lack of balance.

Her heel had broken.

“No way!” She shouted, ignoring the shocked stare of the administrator behind the desk. Growling, she picked up the broken heel and stomped outside, fighting back the angry tears that wanted to fall.

“Not today. Today will not be ruined,” She snapped to herself. Looking around, she cast out her senses, looking for the particular flavor of Sesshoumaru's youki.

Within two minutes she was hugging herself.

In five she was ready to scream.

By the time ten minutes had passed, she was stalking down the street towards the bus stop.

Precisely thirteen minutes had passed when her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her bag and flipped it open.

“Where are you?”

“At the bus stop. Where are you?” She demanded waspishly, not caring that the three people waiting with her stepped away nervously.

“I told you to wait at the entrance,” He growled. “I'll be right there. Stay put.”

“I'm not-” She was cut off by the call ending and growled, snapping it shut.

She heard something crunch and crack. Ignoring it, she shoved the phone back in her case and looked around. Sesshoumaru's youki approached, and she began limping towards it when his silver sports car stopped at the sidewalk.

And realized she would have to get in the car.

And ride in it.

Her stomach bottomed out.

The window rolled down and Sesshoumaru leaned over to look at her, face set in determined lines.

“Get in.”

“I can't,” She stuttered, bile rising in her throat.

“Kagome, you have ridden on Inu Yasha's back during battles, trusted Shippou's earliest transformations and even hung on to my pelt. You can ride in a car.”

His reasoning was sound. Her mind wasn't.

She shook her head nervously.

“I won't let anything happen to you,” He promised, gaze softening. “But if you want to get there on time, you have to trust me and get in the car.”

Agonizing for a minute that she didn't have, she reached forward and opened the car door. Sesshoumaru leaned back, reaching down to put the car into gear. She got in, closing the door and trying not to think of a coffin lid closing as it slammed shut. Quickly putting on her seat belt she grabbed the armrest and looked over at him.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” She demanded, voice cracking.

“Trust me. Close your eyes.”

For a moment she considered refusing, more afraid of not seeing a car coming or a light pole looming than seeing the world pass by. But he gave her a worried glance and she closed them, clenching them shut. He never looked worried, so obviously there was a reason, and against her better judgment, she was going to trust him.

What happened next made her stomach flop anxiously several times, knotting and doing cartwheels. She heard cars honking and felt the sharp turns, yelping when tires screeched just to her side.

“Don't look,” Sesshoumaru commanded, his voice authoritarian and brooking no argument.

She was more afraid to see than she had been to close her eyes to begin with, so she kept them shut, hand with a death grip on the armrest as she tried to block out the sounds. Desperate, she recalled the poems she had analyzed and thought about those instead. Sesshoumaru's voice reciting them blanketed the anxiety and she inhaled deeply, mumbling the words.

The car stopped and the engine died down before cutting off.

“We're here,” He said, not without a hint of relief. “You can open your eyes.”

As if they'd been glued shut, it took her a moment to actually open her lids to look around.

“It's three minutes to eight,” He said, glancing down at his watch.

Three minutes. She had gotten there three minutes before she was supposed to. Her voice wouldn't work even when she tried to thank him, and her relief was so staggering she felt an irrational surge of tears threatening to swamp her. Nodding, she opened the door and got out, immediately stumbling and sitting back down in the car seat.

“What's wrong?” He asked.

She pulled off her shoes.

“I'm an idiot,” She muttered, staring at the broken shoe and it's pristine mate.

Sesshoumaru took the pump, it's tall heel still attached, and broke the heel off cleanly, staring at the bottom of the shoe before nodding and handing it back to her.

“It'll have to do,” She mumbled, giving him another grateful glance.

A police car pulled in behind them, lights flashing.

“Go inside. I'll be in before you start your presentation,” He told her, shaking his head when she readied a protest. Nodding again she got out of the car, giving the policeman an inquisitive glance.

“Ma'am-”

“She has a presentation in two minutes. I was the driver and I will stay here,” Sesshoumaru said, voice commanding despite the fact that he was, Kagome knew without any doubt, completely guilty of whatever the officer had stopped him for. Her eyes had been closed, but she wasn't deaf. The policeman nodded in her direction and she walked towards the building where a lecture hall had been reserved. Looking over her shoulder twice she saw Sesshoumaru giving the officer items, probably his license and the car's registration papers.

When she got to the building, she saw Sesshoumaru nodding.

And then she was walking inside, following the signs to the assigned room and breathing a sigh of relief when she saw her professor standing outside of the doors.

“Where have you been?” He hissed, looking at his watch. She tried not to snap at him.

“Traffic. I'm sorry I'm late,” She murmured apologetically, although worry laced through her veins, chilling her blood when she didn't feel Sesshoumaru's youki coming closer. Her professor was oblivious, hurrying her down the hall to another set of doors, one that led into the same room from another direction.

“Toyama is ill, we've been waiting for you to go to the podium first.”

First? She was going to be first?

“But-”

“You were second, now you're first. Do you have your materials?”

She nodded dumbly, tongue thickening in her mouth as her saliva dried. He opened the door and she walked in, acutely aware that she did not look as professional as she had wanted, her alarm was supposed to give her time to put her hair in a carefully practiced bun and her heels were missing. She must be rumpled and maybe even sweaty.

The room ahead of her was filled with dozens of people, all academics that had come to see other presenters, of that she had no doubt. She was still a nobody, and her own contributions would be small compared to what had been planned.

She couldn't feel Sesshoumaru at all.

Gulping nervously and swallowing a painful bubble of air, she walked to the podium and sat her case down on the small table next to it. Fumbling with the zipper that kept the main compartment shut, she pulled her laptop out, flinching when she saw the cracked top.

Hopefully it would still work.

She prayed as she opened it, staring at the cracked screen.

She tried to turn it on anyway.

Sparks flew. Quite literally.

“It seems I'm having a technical error,” She said, speaking away from the microphone at her professor and trying to muster her best encouraging smile. “Unfortunately, I will not be able to input my slide show up for everyone to see, however I do-”

“Do you have copies?” Her professor demanded, looking utterly mortified.

“I know them by heart,” She retorted. She would have to after the amount of time she had put into them.

“Here's my laptop, just type them in and read from your notes.”

Within a few minutes of desperate, quick fumbling, she was typing the three poems she had picked as the room watched them appearing on the flat projector screen next to her. Sesshoumaru's calm, smooth cadence echoed through her head as she typed, giving her a rhythm she was unaware of, but, had she looked, was well appreciated by those in the room.

By the time she had finished, the door was opening and she felt Sesshoumaru's youki, a gentle assurance sweeping over her. Looking up from the laptop screen, she flashed a quick smile and went back to typing, quickly finishing up the last two lines.

The faceless sea of people dimmed. Her presentation was sentimental despite her best attempts. Three poems showcasing the best, and worst, of what she had endured, what she had seen her friends endure, came to life for people that would never know the truth and would never guess at the story, their own imaginations filling in the blanks left by careful self censoring.

But it worked, because she had their attention. People did not shift or turn away, did not pull out cellphones or make notes. They stared at her, and the attention itself would have been unnerving had she not been wrapped up in the subject, remembering vividly how much her best friends had loved, and wanting to honor that love.

When she finished, there was a round of polite, quiet applause. Her professor beamed, and she quietly exited from the document, deleting it completely before putting her notes in her case, along with her broken laptop, and stepping down from the podium and walking back to where Sesshoumaru sat.

“Is everything alright?” She asked quietly as the next speaker was introduced.

“It was just a ticket,” He assured her.

“Oh. Thank you, by the way.”

“Thank you,” He replied, giving her a small smile.

“For what?”

“Trusting me.”


	35. Save Your Hearing Day

Convivial

By: The Hatter Theory

Save Your Hearing Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

AN: This chapter was originally going to be posted on May 31st.

Update 1/4

Also guys, in the attempt to catch up before Father's Day hits, I'm update bombing. Umm. Enjoy? Also, your reviews have been amazing. Love. Lots of love.

______________________

Kagome smiled at her phone, closing it gently and looking at her brand new laptop. It was a hundred times more than what she would ever need, but it had been a gift, a congratulatory present for her first real presentation and for the praise she had received afterward. All of her files had been retrieved and were backed up, and she had been about to copy them from the new external drive she had gotten over to the laptop when Araki had called, asking if she was free the next day after he installed the cabinets.

Kagome had told him that she was, and if he wanted he could bring Houka, and she could take the girl to her family's shrine and practice archery there. There had been a general feeling of goodwill and excitement, Houka shouting happily in the background about being taught to shoot a bow by a miko, the shikon miko no less.

The front door opened and she turned, smiling at Sesshoumaru as he walked in. He gave her a small nod, setting his briefcase on the floor and shrugging off his jacket. Kagome watched, somewhat entranced by the transformation, as she always was, when he removed his bracelet.

“Is your new computer adequate?” He asked, removing his tie and laying it over the jacket before walking over to the dining table.

“More than,” She told him honestly. “I have no idea what I'm going to do with a webcam or hundreds of gigs of space, but it's a lot faster than my old computer, and the bigger screen helps with notes. Thank you.”

“I'm sure you'll find something to fill it up,” He chucked, sitting down across from her.

“My professor mentioned a TA position, and told me there are a few others interested, but that I have a good chance with the right essay.”

“More work?” Sesshoumaru asked, voice carefully neutral.

“It's the curse of an academic lifestyle,” She smiled. “Work, work, work. And publish or die.”

“Sounds invigorating. Perhaps I'm in the wrong field,” He observed wryly.

“You could conquer any field you set your mind to, but please never go into classic literature,” She laughed. “I'd never survive.”

“Oh?”

“Your wealth of knowledge and experience,” She said, earning a slanted glare, “Would easily swamp my own, and my particular understanding would be overshadowed.”

“You're calling me old again, aren't you?” He asked flatly, but the corner off his mouth tilted up in a smile. “Perhaps I'm too old to be taking young students to dinner then.”

“But I'll starve,” She whined plaintively. The fridge had been removed earlier that day, as well as all of the other appliances to make way for the new cabinets and appliances. The last meal she'd eaten was a hurried lunch of soda and a prepackaged danish from a vending machine, not that she was going to tell him that. He'd probably be horrified, not to mention begin packing lunches for her.

“Can't have that,” He retorted.

She stuck her tongue out.

“Careful,” He told her, getting up and walking over to the stairs.

“Careful?” She asked archly, closing her laptop and following, wanting to change before going out for dinner.

“Yes,” he told her evenly, not even looking at her. “Careful.”

“Of what?” She asked, now completely, utterly confused. What did she need to be careful of? He wasn't going to threaten to cut her tongue out, was he? He'd changed too much, at least she hoped, to even joke about that sort of thing.

“Youkai.”

And then he was in his room, the door closing behind him quietly.

Shrugging the answer off as his strange, sometimes oblique sense of humor, she walked into her room, immediately shrugging off her tank top and tossing it in the hamper, quickly following it with her pants.

Unsure of where they were going, she chose a simple skirt and top, quickly pulling on both before going to the bathroom to put her hair up. When she walked out, she saw Sesshoumaru already sitting on the couch, his laptop open as he typed something in.

“Working?” She asked archly, walking down the stairs.

“Looking for somewhere to eat. There's a restaurant that opened recently, not far from here, and it's brewery is next door.”

“A brewery restaurant?” She asked, walking over to look over his shoulder at the website he had pulled up.

“It's not unheard of, and they're becoming more popular. It's getting good reviews.”

“If I didn't know you better I'd call you an alcoholic,” She joked.

“Something else?” He asked, turning to look at her, his face right in her own, nose almost touching hers and gold eyes widening slightly. She pulled back quickly, flushing lightly.

“No, that's fine. You said it's not far. Is it too far to walk?”

“Not for me.”

“What about for me?” She asked, rolling her eyes.

“Humans posses less strength-”

“I'll be fine,” She snorted. “Besides, if I get too tired, you can always carry me.”

He raised a brow to that, and for lack of anything else to say, she stuck her tongue out again.

“I warned you about that,” He reminded her.

“Yeah yeah,” She replied cavalierly, rolling her eyes again. “Let's go, mighty alpha.”

He sat his laptop on the table and grabbed his keys as she grabbed her purse. When they stepped out, she asked how his day had gone and listened as he recounted a particularly humorous moment. He explained how a contractor had mistaken him for one of the laborers and blessed him out, screaming in his face. Kagome wondered how anyone could mistake Sesshoumaru for a laborer, much less have the nerve to actually shout at him.

The world echoing around them as they strolled through the busy crowds, she gasped on laughter that sputtered out regardless when he told her the terror the contractor had expressed upon the realization that he was shouting at the architect.

Once her laughter died down, she told him that Araki was coming the next day, which he knew, and that would be taking Houka to the shrine to practice while he hung the cabinets. Sesshoumaru seemed to relax, and once again she wondered at his strange behavior. Even his youki had reflected his disquiet, and she unconsciously tried to soothe it with her own aura.

“She's excited to learn from the shikon miko,” Kagome said, summoning a smile in the face of his strange behavior.

“It will be a feather in her cap,” He agreed, smiling softly. “There have been many requests to meet you since it became known that we had found you again. Until now I had no considered granting any of them.”

“Please, please don't,” She mumbled, flushing hotly. “I'm not really her anymore. I'm just Kagome. Houka is a child, she doesn't really understand that the role is over.”

“I understand,” He told her. “Despite the pack, you wish to live a normal life.”

“The pack is the most important part of my life, but other than that, yes, I want a normal one,” She told him, elbowing him gently. “The shikon no tama is gone, and I don't act as a miko anymore. I'm a student, not a- a figurehead or icon.”

He nodded again, gaze thoughtful.

“I understand.” There was a wealth of meaning in his tone, but once again the why of it escaped her, and she knew she was missing something, but whatever it was, she couldn't begin to fathom. He was quiet after that, and having nothing to say, she was as well. Even when they found the restaurant and walked in, quickly being seated, they remained quiet.

“I have no idea what any of this means,” She admitted, looking at the list of beers, divided by types.

“You seem to enjoy ales.”

She stared at the list of 'ales', eyes almost crossing when she saw descriptions.

“Help?”

He listed off three that he said sounded promising, and by the time the waitress came back she had narrowed it to a single choice, hoping it wasn't something she choked on. That would be awful in a restaurant that seemed to be built around beer. She gave her choice and Sesshoumaru his, and they began looking at what to eat.

The silence, a bubble in the middle of the noisy restaurant, was smothering. Once she had picked out a steak and salad, she continued reading through the list for want of something to make herself look busy, to detract from the heavy, almost chilly distance between the two of them.

When their beer arrive, her mug, and it was a large, frosted mug, frothing a bit at the top, and she stared at it, unsure of how she was supposed to drink the whole thing.

“Are you alright?” He finally asked.

“This is going to get me drunk,” She said, finally looking from the mug to him. He seemed amused by her comment, a brow arching. She knew he was smirking at her without smirking, because that was what that brow arching meant. And normally she didn't mind it, but given his all too complete silence and the sudden shift in mood, she didn't like it. In fact, Kagome realized she hated it a little.

“You know what? Fine,” She snapped, grabbing the handle. A bit of froth slipped over the side and she used her other hand to steady it as she picked it up and took a sip.

It wasn't as good as some of the other beers she'd had, but it wasn't awful either. Closing her eyes she swallowed once, twice, a third time, each swallow a large gulp of beer that seemed to fizz in her throat and settle heavily in her almost empty stomach.

When she put the glass down, she was tempted to be crude and wipe her mouth with her hand, but used a napkin to daintily blot at it instead, completely ignoring his narrowed eyes and smiling slightly.

“You were right, that is good,” She chirruped brightly, faking a cheerfulness she didn't quite feel.

By the time the waitress came to take their orders, she had finished the first mug and asked for a second, smiling when the waitress grinned and gave her a nod.

Sesshoumaru remained silent.

Her beer came before her dinner, and she sipped it carefully, but consistently. There was a childish, angry part of herself. His mood swings, more and more apparent when he retreated to stoic -or possibly sullen- silence, had bothered her, worried her before. Now they were just...Frustrating.

She decided to fill the silence with inconsequential chatter, plans for the summer, for when Inu Yasha and Tala visited with their family, curiosity as to how the babies had grown, and if she should include her family on the trip to the beach they had planned.

Through it all, Sesshoumaru remained silent.

Dinner arrived, along with an offer for another mug of beer, which she accepted with a smile. Tipsy and flush from the false heat of the alcohol, she spoke between bites and moved on to talking about her schoolwork, not fully understanding why she was so intent on filling the silence, only that it had to be filled, or something bad would happen.

When the waitress took their plates, she didn't feel flush, she felt giddy and dizzy and wanted to dance. Her only regret was that there was no music.

“Would you both like dessert?”

“I'm pretty full,” Kagome chirruped.

“I could bring out a single one, and the happy couple could share,” The waitress giggled.

“We're not a couple,” Kagome said, tilting her head. An impish urge overcame her. “He's far too old for me.”

“He doesn't look old,” The waitress giggled. Kagome wondered if the woman thought she was joking.

“He's my uncle.”

“The bill, please,” Sesshoumaru asked, the first words he had said since ordering his dinner. They swept through Kagome, an arctic chill not unlike the one his mother had produced when calling her a mongrel.

She stuck her tongue out when the waitress hurried away.

“You never learn,” He told her, voice flat and gaze stony.

“Silly humans aren't so adept as others,” She muttered, flushing at the admonishment that felt a step, a very vague, tiny step, above an insult.

“Some less so than most,” He retorted.

Shocked, her jaw coming unhinged as the words sank in, she realized that he had insulted her, and that he was acting more like the feudal Sesshoumaru than the roommate she had come to care for.

“Fine,” She snapped, grabbing her purse and getting up, ignoring the scoffing sound he made completely and walking for the door. She could feel the irate waves of youki as they uncurled and pulsed around her, filling the restaurant and pushing against her rudely, but chose to ignore those as well, feigning ignorance as she walked past the host's podium and pushed the door open.

Night had fallen while they had eaten, and for a blurred moment she couldn't get her bearings. But the lights of Tokyo made it simple to spot signs. She turned right and stalked down the sidewalk, ignoring the other pedestrians as she stumbled past them.

The more she walked, the angrier she got. And what's more, she knew why she was angry, but she had no idea what she had done to make Sesshoumaru so angry, so silent to begin with.

When she felt his youki again, she was about to turn, and knowing she would only be facing him at the apartment, she decided to go straight instead, waiting patiently for the cross walk light to change.

She was halfway across when she felt him behind her, but continued walking as if she had felt nothing, didn't notice him. If he wanted to speak to her, he would have to apologize first, and explain what was going on, otherwise she would keep walking.

After three blocks she was seriously considering turning around and demanding to know what his problem was. Wistfully thinking about using her powers, something she had promised herself she would never do in anger, she continued walking. People parted around her, but she assumed it was because the tall, probably homicidal looking youkai followed her. Never mind that he was disguised as a human, she knew he could be intimidating regardless.

After five blocks she was getting tired, and her stomach was pitching dangerously.

At six, she crossed the street and doubled back.

At eight, she found a nearby bench and sat down. He stood next to her, silent as a statue and lacking even more expression.

When she got up, she almost shouted at the clouds, because his mouth opened.

Until he spoke. Then she wanted to shout for another reason. And not at the clouds anymore either, for that matter.

“Are you done?”

She glared at him, readying a volley of sits, then realized what she had been about to do and bit the inside of her cheek, settling for the stare that had terrified youkai and silenced hanyou.

It did not affect him.

At all.

“Are you?” She finally asked, when neither of them made to move.

“I am not the one behaving like a child.”

“Really?” She asked, crossing her arms. “Because I could have sworn someone sitting across from me was sulking like an eight year old.”

“I-” He started, then slamming his jaw shut so quickly she heard the clicking sound it made. “I had something on my mind,” He said after a moment of contemplation.

“Then why didn't you say that?” She burst out. “Why did you sit there and act like I had done something wrong? We're friends. You can tell me if something is wrong. But you don't get to act like it was my fault!”

He looked ready to say something before his expression calmed and he nodded tightly.

“You have my apologies. It was rude of me to convey my mood.”

She stared at him, jaw falling open again as sounds came out. She knew they should have been words, wanted them to be words, but it felt like he'd hit her with his full strength, the cool formality in the words and lacing his tone chilling the flush alcohol and walking had created, dousing her anger.

A strange, bucolic calm settled over her. The world became defined, sharp, the blurry edges becoming startlingly clear.

“You have my apologies for my outburst, it was rude and inconsiderate, as was my behavior at dinner. I will endeavor to be more polite in the future, and to respect your privacy.”

She had no idea where the words coming from, but she was sure she imagined him flinching at her cool, detached civility.

“Please excuse me, I'm very tired, and need to sleep.”

She walked away, walking past other people in a daze. Feeling almost like she was sleepwalking through a dream of shadows, she barely even noticed the road signs as she made her way back to the apartment building.

Sesshoumaru did not follow, not that she could feel.

Once inside, she tried not to shiver at the change from the temperate summer breeze to the frigid air conditioning, waiting patiently for the elevator and riding up alone. Not feeling particularly thankful for having brought her purse and her keys, she walked inside and upstairs, and ignoring nightly ritual, kicked off her shoes and threw her purse on her desk, and fell onto her bed.

And, for more reasons than she could fathom, but didn't want to examine at all, she cried.


	36. Flip A Coin Day

Convivial

By: The Hatter Theory

Flip A Coin Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

AN: This chapter was slated to be posted on June 1st.

Update 2/4

 ____________________

She felt vaguely stuffy the next morning when she woke up, and the sunlight filtering in through her sheer curtains was brighter than normal, but those were the only remnants of the night before when Kagome woke. Groaning, she pulled the pillow over her head when she felt Sesshoumaru's youki, subdued and calm, downstairs.

Araki had not yet arrived. Which meant she had at least some time to shower and get ready.

She didn't want to go out. In fact, she wanted to stay in her room, in her bed, and make a cave out of the blankets and hide in it until the tension had blown over. While she and Sesshoumaru had sparked each other's tempers before, she couldn't recall a time they had both become so polite, so civil, and with such speed. Not even when she'd first been found by him had they spoken so...Formally.

Sighing heavily, knowing the day would continue whether she wanted it to or not, and not wanting to disappoint a little girl that was oblivious to the complications of being an adult, she threw the covers back and sat up. Getting up, she shed her clothes, letting them fall where they would on the floor and walking into the shower, ignoring the towel warmer completely, and choosing to ignore the hot water as well.

The cold shocked her senses, startled them into wakefulness before numbing her skin. Shivering, she washed her face, hoping that maybe she could wash away the frown that persisted despite her best efforts. Like an automaton she got out and dried, dressed in jeans and a tank top before pulling her still damp hair back.

Araki still hadn't arrived.

Sesshoumaru was downstairs, presumably waiting for Araki to come with their new cabinets. Knowing, if nothing else, that she didn't want to endure an awkward breakfast, she chose to go through her books and pull out a book of poetry translated from Chinese. It had been one of the few books she had chosen for herself, and had nothing to do with her studies.

Going back to her bed, she resting on her stomach, pillow propped beneath her, and began to read. Or try at least. The words blurred and moved on the page, ignoring order as her thoughts kept drifting back to the daiyoukai. Turning page after page, she knew she absorbed nothing. It was almost a blessing to hear the front door open and to feel the presence of the two visitors. Houka's delighted chatter seemed to ring through the empty, deadening silence.

Closing the book and setting it on her nightstand, Kagome grabbed her purse and took a fortifying breath before opening the door. She forced a smile to her face, one she didn't feel, and called out a bright hello as she walked down the stairs. Houka's voice rang out above her own, the echos mixing as she greeted both Sesshoumaru and Araki.

“Papa said you're taking me to a shrine!” Houka said, bouncing on her feet.

“I am, it's where I grew up,” Kagome told her. “My mama said that we still have targets and bows there.”

Houka made an excited sound, one Kagome knew must have grated on the sensitive ears of the inu that, aside from nodding in her direction, had not acknowledged her at all.

“Well, shall we go so your papa and Sesshoumaru-sama can work?”

“Yes!” Houka exclaimed, holding out hand. Kagome took it, the little girl's cheer infectious. It didn't erase the awkwardness, couldn't blot out the very real tension swirling in the room like smoke, but it did offer a reprieve and freedom from it.

“We'll be back later,” Kagome told them, waving as Houka pulled her forward with surprising strength. Kagome reminded herself that, beneath her disguise she was still a youkai.

“Mind that bracelet,” Araki called out.

“I'll make sure she keeps it on,” Kagome promised as Houka tried to pull her towards the elevator. The door closed as Kagome felt herself yanked forward again, arm jolting painfully in it's socket. Knowing it was merely the child's enthusiasm, she said nothing, working to keep up with her instead of being dragged behind.

“Slow down Houka, I promise the shrine isn't going anyway,” Kagome laughed.

“But I don't know how to shoot, and papa told me it takes a long time to learn, and I was to be able to do it today,” The child said as they got into the elevator.

“You won't get it perfectly today, it takes a long time to learn and practice,” Kagome told her as she pressed the button for the lobby.

“How long did it take you?” Houka asked, eyes wide.

“A while,” Kagome hedged, not wanting to admit to the child that even by the time her adventure had been over, she had not been perfectly adept. Houka nodded, not seeming to understand the half truth and smiling widely. Kagome was reminded again of Shippou and returned the smile with one of her own, already feeling better.

Houka's presence was overwhelming. A bombastic child with a hundred questions and bits of trivia to fill the silence, Kagome found herself falling into the carefree cheer, forgetting the apartment and the night before.

On the bus and then the train, Houka dutifully held her hand and asked her more about her shrine and what it was like to grow up as a miko. Kagome explained, gently, that she hadn't been raised to be a shrine maiden, but that it was something that had happened as she had gotten older. Houka asked if Kagome believed in the old gods, and Kagome told her that she did, even if she wasn't entirely sure of it.

By the time they were climbing the shrine steps, Kagome was -again- wishing she exercised more, making note to join a local gym as Houka bounced ahead of her.

“Kagome!” Her mother called out, waving and smiling. Kagome walked over and introduced her mother to the small kitsune, and the kitsune immediately bombarded Nodoka with as many questions as she had Kagome.

As it happened, Nodoka stayed with them during archery practice, helping Kagome string the bows and set up the targets.

When they finally began to practice, Houka sent more arrows into the side of the temple than she did into the target.

Kagome bypassed the temple completely.

And Nodoka hit within the bull's eye every time.

It was only a few hours later when Kagome felt the tell tale pulse of youki that heralded a youkai's presence. She turned, surprised to see Araki walking up the stairs and towards them, waving with a grin on his face. Houka dropped her bow, the wood clattering on the ground, and launched herself at her father.

“How's my spitfire doing?” He asked, picking her up and hugging her, not putting her down after as he walked over to them.

“Kagome-sama is awful at archery,” Houka confided in the sort of innocent, loud whisper only children could manage.

“I haven't practiced in a few years,” Kagome hedged, blushing but smiling nonetheless.

“I can see,” Araki said, staring at the side of the temple and the ground around it, littered with arrows. Kagome had just managed to hit the targets themselves a few times, mostly sending arrows beyond them into the dirt or, in one special case, onto the roof of the temple that had been behind them.

“Papa, can you fix it?” Houka asked.

“Don't see why I couldn't,” Araki said, walking over to where several arrows stuck out of the temple. Kagome and her mother watched, perplexed, as he began pulling arrows, one by one, from the wood, Houka grinning and trying to help.

When all of the arrows were in a haphazard pile, Araki smoothed his hand over the surface of wall, eyes closing.

Kagome watched as small dings and nicks caused by the arrows and nature begin to disappear, his hand sweeping over them and when the spot was visible, the wood was smooth and unmarred.

“That's,” Kagome murmured, eyes widening.

“An exceptionally handy skill for a carpenter to have,” Araki chuckled as he stepped away and gave the wall a once over. Nodding firmly, apparently satisfied, he walked back over to Kagome and her mother, who were regarding him through wide, curious eyes.

“Papa is the best carpenter in the world,” Houka said firmly.

“Doubt that, but I'm a fair hand,” Araki demurred.

“Papa, we want ice cream,” Houka declared.

“I think that can be managed,” Araki laughed, a booming laughing that started deep in his chest, drawing laughter from Kagome and her mother. It was an infectious sound, one that drew them in and gave no option but to be happy.

___________________________

Kagome walked in, tired and more sore than she had thought she would be, but she was happy. Araki had dropped her off at the building, Houka making sure to extract the promise for another practice session soon. Nodoka had been charmed by the carpenter, and Kagome couldn't help but find happiness in the day despite aches flaring up as her body, woefully out of shape, protested the exercises she had put it through in the afternoon.

The first thing she noticed when she walked in was that the cabinets had been hung and the appliances installed. The kitchen looked brand new, different than it had before. The cabinets weren't as deep as the others had been, but were darker. The cherry gleamed, a high polish reflecting almost as much as the stainless steel appliances.

The next thing she noticed was that Sesshoumaru was leaning against one, a thoughtful expression on his face, and a wineglass in his hand. He said nothing, didn't even acknowledge her. She wondered if he noticed her presence at all. He seemed distracted, withdrawn.

“They look nice,” She finally said, to break the silence. He started, eyes widening when they landed on her. Equally surprised, Kagome didn't comment on his lack of attention, choosing instead to sit her purse on the small entrance table and walk to the fridge.

It had been fully stocked, and she grabbed a bottle of water, intent on getting back to her room.

“Did you have fun today?”

“I did.”

“How does Araki's daughter fare with a bow?”

“She's better than me,” Kagome snorted, opening the bottle and wondering if perhaps the chilly courtesy of the day before was, as she hoped, a passing mood. “I haven't practiced in years. Mom is better than us both though,” She added wryly.

Sesshoumaru nodded quietly, eyes back on the cabinet across from him. Kagome could feel him withdrawing.

“Sesshoumaru?” She asked quietly, hoping to pull him back from that distant place. He didn't look at her, but she could see that he heard, his brows knitting together. It was the only movement he made, the only sign that he was thinking about something that either perplexed or frustrated him, possibly both.

“Fate is decided by coin tosses long before we come to the impasse, it's the natural order of things,” He finally said.

“I've never had much time for fate,” Kagome told him, not understanding why he would say such a thing, especially given his own views on predestination.

“There are always things beyond our control.”

“We can always choose how we work with them, or to fight against them,” Kagome pointed out, growing even more confused. Sesshoumaru only nodded, turning and pouring the rest of the wine into the sink and setting the wineglass into it before walking past her. Wordlessly he walked upstairs and to his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Kagome wondered if he wanted her for a roommate anymore, or if he was regretting offering her a ride months before, calling attention to the fake sword she had been waving around.


	37. Hug Your Cat Day

Needing to get out of her room but not feeling up to facing crowds again, Kagome checked the apartment for Sesshoumaru. But as had been his habit in the past weeks, he was staying late at work. Picking one of her books from her shelf and walked downstairs.

Kirara was curled into a ball on the floor in front of the windows, and opened a lazy eye as Kagome sat on the couch, curling her legs beneath her and opening her book, flinching when she realized it was the volume of poetry Miroku had written. Sighing, she sat it down, knowing she would hear Sesshoumaru's voice reading it if she even tried.

The firecat mewled softly in response to her sigh, uncurling her body and jumping onto the couch with a solid thump. Kagome didn't push her away when she walked onto her lap, mewling softly and purring. Grateful for the solid comfort of the cat, she hugged it to her chest, slouching down onto the couch and rubbing her cheek against the soft fur.

“I wish I knew how to fix things,” Kagome admitted softly. “I don't even know what I did wrong.”

Kirara mewled softly, the peculiar sound nothing like a normal cat's but comforting nonetheless.

“I wish you could talk. I bet cats are smarter than other youkai.”

There was a sound that Kagome knew to be agreement, although it seemed sad for it. Sighing again, Kagome looked outside as the sun. It was already beginning it's descent, shadows stretching across the apartment and over her as she slouched more and more.

“Maybe I should move. Maybe we'd be better friends if we weren't on top of each other all of the time,” She said, considering the option. Kagome knew that if she didn't live with Sesshoumaru, she wouldn't notice him missing, wouldn't wonder when he was going to be home. And maybe the separation would be good for both of them, and give them time to lead their own lives more. Obviously something about her own was bothering him, and his recent shift had left her reeling.

With a start she realized that for once she wished he didn't work so much, and wondered if he had felt the same about her own obsessive schedule.

“I hate irony,” Kagome muttered, giving up on sitting and laying down, curling around Kirara, who only mewled her agreement before beginning to purr. Kagome closed her eyes, listening to the soothing rumble. It wasn't the deep contented sound Sesshoumaru made when he was happy, but the difference made it easier to listen to as the apartment grew darker and darker.

She woke, a ball of warmth curled at her chest, when she felt something settling over her. Blinking sleepily, she looked up and saw the shadowy outline of Sesshoumaru. He was tucking a blanket around her.

“I'm sorry,” She mumbled, not completely aware of being awake, or even of what she was saying, only that the sight of him inspired a guilt she couldn't fully comprehend. “I'm sorry for what I did.”

He knelt down until his face was level with hers, no easy feat given his height.

“You did nothing wrong,” He told her quietly.

“Do you want me to leave?”

He stopped, eyes widening. She didn't surprise him often, and the utterly arrested look on his face made quick work of banishing the lingering cobwebs, sweeping out the last of her sleepiness until she was alert.

And afraid.

“No,” He finally said, schooling his expression. “I don't want you to leave.”

“You've been staying away a lot more. And the fate thing-” She trailed off unsure of what to say, but afraid to admit that she was, well, afraid. How was she supposed to tell him that it felt like her best friend was distancing himself, putting a wall between them that she didn't know the reason for and had no hope of surmounting without understanding?

Sesshoumaru said nothing, but he got up and shifted her easily, like a doll, and sat down, letting her lay her head in his lap. She shifted, pulling the blanket up further around her. Kirara had moved down her feet, purring quietly in her sleep.

“I've been an ass as of late, haven't I?”

“A little,” She agreed.

He was quiet for a time, fingers threading through her hair. Though the contact was more intimate than anything they had shared before, even more than laying next to each other in bed, it was the first real contact they had shared in some time, so she allowed it, clung to it.

“Do you truly believe you can fight fate and circumstance?” He finally asked, just as she was beginning to drift back to sleep.

“We wouldn't be here if we couldn't,” She reminded him sleepily. He made an agreeing sound as she shifted again, finally finding the perfect position. The sound turned into a rumble, the noise thrumming through her, deeper than Kirara's fur and as soothing as the circles his thumb made on her temple.  


	38. National YoYo Day

Convivial

By: The Hatter Theory

National YoYo Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

AN: National YoYo Day was June 6th

Update 4/4. This is it until Father's Day. See you then guys!

 _________________________

Kagome woke to the smell of breakfast, which in and of itself unusual given the last few weeks. Sesshoumaru had made a point of being gone before she had woke, and the change was encouraging. Smiling widely, she didn't even both to change into normal clothes before going downstairs, calling out a bright greeting. He nodded in return, smiling as she tried to straighten the mess her hair had become in sleep.

“That smells amazing,” She chimed brightly. “Want help?”

“And risk my new kitchen? Sit,” He told her, a smirk firmly in place. She stuck her tongue out and rolled her eyes, but walked over to the table anyway.

“I was sure-”

“That you warned me,” Kagome told him, sticking her tongue out and adding raspberries for effect. Sesshoumaru said nothing, but she swore she saw his eyes roll toward the ceiling before he turned back to the stove. Kirara jumped up on the table, offering a plaintive mew.

“I can smell bacon girl, no worries,” Kagome promised.

“I took the day off from work,” He informed her as he slipped eggs onto a plate. “Was there anything you wanted to do today?”

“I haven't thought about it,” She admitted.

“There's a street festival in Shibuya.”

“That could be fun,” She told him, smiling when he handed her a plate, noting the extra bacon and immediately handing a piece to Kirara, who jumped from the table and went to eat her treat by the window, where the sun was pouring in and warming the floor.

“There has been a delay with Inu Yasha's visit. Chu'si passed yesterday, and Tala must stay for a time while a new medicine woman is initiated. They'll be arrive on the nineteenth.”

“I'm sorry,” Kagome murmured. “Do we need to go for the-” She stopped, feeling that saying the word funeral would be indelicate, somehow. Though she'd barely known the old woman, she had felt a respect for her, despite the disconnect. Out of Tala's pack, Chu'si had been the only one she had met in America that had treated her no differently than Inu Yasha or Sesshoumaru. She had, in many ways, reminded her of Kaede.

“Chu'si will be cremated tonight. It is a very private ritual, and while we are considered family, we are not part of their pack,” Sesshoumaru explained. Kagome nodded, flushing when she realized that she was relieved that she wouldn't be forced to go. She hadn't been to a funeral in years, and she knew she wouldn't have anything to say about the healer, would have no real feeling to offer other than a passing wish to have known the youkai better.

“You seem troubled,” He offered quietly as she nibbled at her eggs.

“I feel badly for being sort of, of happy that we don't have to go,” She admitted. “Like I'm a bad friend.”

“They view death very differently than we do,” Sesshoumaru told her. “Inu Yasha told me, after seeing it for the first time, for Chu'si's mate. They rejoice as the body burns and the ashes are swept away to be split between the earth and sky. They return to where they came from.”

It was poetic, but Kagome wondered if the beauty of the sentiment made it any easier to lose someone.

“They will be coming though. Tala wants the children to have fun before their school year starts again. I couldn't make reservations at the hotel we were originally going to stay at, there is a convention of some sort, so the rooms are all booked.”

“What about the other hotels?” She asked, grateful for the subject change.

“Almost everything in the area is booked, and I would like to avoid the crowds,” He admitted after swallowing.

“It's the beach in summer, a crowd is inevitable. Plus it'll give the kids more children to play with.”

“I suppose. But reservations remain the problem. Everything I've looked at is either booked or substandard,” He admitted.

“Have you just checked here, or have you looked at other islands?”

“I hadn't thought of the islands,” He admitted, slightly chagrined.

“Well, Shippou and Souten are coming too, right?” Kagome asked. “How about Nago? Most people will think it's too hot now that it's summer, and it'll be like a mini honey moon for them.”

“A sound plan,” Sesshoumaru agreed. “I need to look over the hotels there,” He began.

“We both can,” Kagome laughed. “Besides, I have to use my super powered laptop for something other than a word processor, or else it might turn on me.”

He chuckled quietly as she got up, rushing from the table to her room to retrieve her laptop bag and brought it downstairs. It was normally forbidden to have a computer open while eating, an unspoken agreement between the two of them, but she felt that since they were doing something together, it would be alright. Sesshoumaru said nothing as she booted it up, sliding her chair and plate closer to his.

There were only twenty two hotels on Nago, most of them boasting beautiful beachfront scenery. As Kagome learned, this was somewhat of a misnomer, as there was beachfront scenery, it was just half of a mile away, seen through the towering condo like hotel windows.

“This one looks nice,” Sesshoumaru said. “I haven't stayed there before.”

“There are villas,” Kagome added, clicking the link and surprised by the pictures that immediately popped up. “This looks gorgeous, and it's right on the water. They even have docks and boats to rent.”

They both scrolled through the pictures, growing more and more impressed as they looked. A private restaurant and bar, live bands inside and outside of the hotel, a private beach of the bluest, clearest water Kagome had ever seen, and private docks where several small sailboats where docked. The villas looked extravagant, like opulent mansions in miniature.

“Do you like it?” Sesshoumaru asked, giving her a half smile that said he already knew her answer.

“It looks amazing,” Kagome agreed sheepishly. Amazing and expensive, but she supposed mentioning that to someone who owned their own jet was, at best, a little silly. “You've gotten me spoiled,” She admitted.

“I suppose it was inevitable,” Sesshoumaru said in an aggrieved tone. “Perhaps I should put you on an allowance and force you to get a job.”

She stuck her tongue out, surprised when he moved, quick as an arrow, to pinch it lightly between the points of two claws.

“I warned you,” He smirked, not releasing it.

“Rog rought y rounge,” She joked, crossing her eyes. He released her tongue, wiping his fingers on his napkin.

“I'll make reservations. You should go get ready.”

She made quick work of finishing her orange juice and running upstairs, listening to him begin speaking to a hotel clerk and arranging reservations. Excited at the prospect of the upcoming vacation and the day ahead of her, she pulled on a simple pair of shorts and tank top, knowing it would get hot during the festival.

Feeling better than she had in weeks, she put her hair in a messy bun and grabbed her purse, intent of getting as much out of Sesshoumaru's canceled workday. When she bounced down the stairs, he was just hanging up, seemingly satisfied.

“Everything is taken care of,” He told her, smiling confidently. She dropped her purse in her chair and helped him clean up, finding a comfort in the return of their routine. She rinsed and he put dishes in the dishwasher, and when she grabbed her purse again, she gave Kirara a quick scratch on her head before telling her goodbye.

“Are you comfortable in a car, or would you rather take a bus?” He asked quietly.

“How about bus?” Kagome asked. “I trust you, but today is just one of those days,” She explained, a smile on her face. He nodded emphatically, understanding what she meant even if she couldn't articulate it.

“I rented three villas,” He told her as they rode the elevator down.

“Three?” She asked, surprised.

“Hnn. Most of them seem geared towards couples, but there were a few family sized ones. Inu Yasha's family will be staying in one. I have no desire to be woken by screaming children in the middle of the night,” He replied archly, making her giggle as they stepped out.

“And the two others?”

“Shippou and Souten are newly mated. I have no desire to be woken by them either,” He snorted, making her choke on the giggle that had been about to escape until she actually thought about what he was saying.

“Good call,” She muttered, coloring brightly.

“I thought so. We will share the other. They are all neighbors, but they are far enough apart privacy should be a non issue.”

“I call dibs on the one with the hot tub,” She said impishly as they walked at a leisurely pace to the bus stop.

“They all have hot tubs,” He chuckled. “The bathrooms apparently differ, but little else.” He listed off other features, each one making the villas sound more luxurious than even the pictures conveyed. When the bus came, he was silent, paying their fare before choosing an empty bench. She sat next to him, more excited than she had been before and counting down the days to the arrival of her friend and his family.

“We'll take the jet again. But I do have one stipulation to this,” He told her, eyes narrowing. She stilled.

“What?” She asked cautiously.

“No laptops, no textbooks, no work.”

“But-” She started, ready to protest the terms. Her essay for her professor, to attain the coveted assistant position, was due in exactly a month, and they would be vacationing for over a week.

“No work,” He told her firmly. “You will be with us, and Inu Yasha and Tala are coming all the way from America.”

It was a guilt tactic, and it was working. He knew the softest spots she had, and all of them involved family and the pack.

“I'll go crazy without something to do in the evenings,” She countered.

“Pleasure reading. Nothing for school.” It wasn't negotiating, although someone else, who didn't know him, might have assumed so. It was her only option. Otherwise, he might actually do something drastic. She wasn't willing to chance her work being thrown into the ocean or melted by his poison, so she nodded her head slowly. He was going to win regardless.

“Fine. But I get to decide what pleasure reading is,” She said, voice petulant.

He had the grace to nod and smile, looking amused, and not nearly enough to look apologetic.

“Alphas,” Kagome muttered, so low no one but he could hear it.

“You are correct,” He chuckled.

She was still trying to figure out some way around the stipulation when they arrived in Shibuya, where the crowds had already grown thick and different street musicians had stationed themselves, playing everything from small hand drums to guitars.

She took his hand, tugging him over to where several game booths had been set up. In a small pool shimmering goldfish caught the light, swimming in lazy circles as the vendor held up the little paper fans to catch them with.

“I've never been able to get one,” She admitted.

“Perhaps it is for the best, or would you like to bring back a treat for Kirara?” He asked, laughing when her mouth made a small 'o', the truth of that becoming evident the moment he mentioned it. She nodded, following him to another booth, and then another.

He watched her play games, not once joining in, although she wasn't bothered by it. He did make fun of her skills, or apparent lack of them, as they moved along. From the games they examined the various and random objects street vendors had brought, everything from home made soaps wrapped in paper declaring their magic abilities to hand blown glass art.

He bought them lunch, skewered meat balls and dango, and she shot off, grabbing a cone with a large wad of cotton candy on it. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes when she stuck it in his face, bringing up a hand to push it away. Crestfallen, she pulled a piece off and was about to eat it when he sighed and nipped it from her fingers using his teeth, earning a laugh.

They had almost made it through the whole of the festival, having looked at almost every tent, that Kagome stopped, eyes catching on the jewelry displayed.

“If you're waiting for permission, you have it,” Sesshoumaru laughed.

“I wasn't,” She started, stopping immediately and blushing hotly. Stepping into the tent she looked at the tables, surprised by the quality. A sign boasted that it was all handmade and every piece was unique, and she had to admit to herself that everything she saw was different from it's counterparts. Perusing through it, she stopped at the jewelry table, eyes lighting on a delicate chain on a stand, dipping down from the weight of a blue stone crescent moon wrapped in delicate silver, tiny beads scattered along the wire itself.

A hand reached past her just as she was reaching for it, and a distressed sound came from her throat until she turned, seeing Sesshoumaru behind her.

“Lift your hair.”

She did as she was told allowing him to lean in and clasp the necklace around her neck. A finger ghosted over her neck once, making her blush before he was pulling away, eying the necklace and nodding.

“Do you like it?” The saleswoman asked. Kagome turned back to the table, a mirror right in her face. Flinching back she looked down where the pendant lay suspended between her collarbones.

“I do,” She admitted. Most of the other jewelry had been too abstract or busy, but the pendant was perfect.

“How much is it?” Kagome asked, shrugging her purse off her shoulder. But Sesshoumaru had beat her to the punch, his wallet open and several bills in hand. The saleswoman made change and gave Kagome a small box with a business card taped to the top before turning to another customer.

“Thank you,” Kagome murmured quietly.

“You're welcome.”

She linked her arm with his, enjoying a companionable silence as they walked through the rest of the tents, and on the bus ride home she fiddled with the pendant, running her fingers over the wire. Sesshoumaru remained silent, but it felt like a satisfied silence as they finished the trip back to their apartment.

He even let her help cook stir fry.


	39. Father's Day

Sesshoumaru was sitting at the table when she came down. Breakfast was already laid out, and Kirara was eating bacon happily in front of a window, purring loudly enough that Kagome could hear it as she walked down.

“You're going somewhere?” Sesshoumaru observed. Kagome nodded, pushing her purse strap higher on her shoulder. His eyes narrowed, although not with suspicion, but with concern. She knew she probably made a sad, if not strange picture. The past week had been a happy one, where they had both fallen back into their routines, spending time with one another with ease, sometimes talking, sometimes not. But the night before she had tried to go to bed early only to stare at the ceiling well into the morning hours. She knew with equal certainty that the lack of sleep showed, dark bags beneath her eyes and a pinched look she couldn't quite smooth out no matter how much she practiced in a mirror.

“It's Father's Day,” She said, voice quiet. “I always go to the park.”

Sesshoumaru seemed to withdraw for a moment, nodding mutely.

“Would you like company?” He offered, voice soft.

The last time she had gone to the park with someone had been her mother when she was fourteen. Souta had never known their father, and her mother had her own rituals regarding her deceased husband.

“You don't have to,” She tried to assure him.

“If you don't mind, I would like to,” Sesshoumaru volunteered. Unsure of what to make of the offer, she nodded. Sesshoumaru quickly put the extra food down the disposal and she helped rinse the dishes, feeling bad for the wasted food. But Sesshoumaru seemed set in his decision, and while she wasn't exactly sure why he would want to join her for such an excursion, she wasn't going to tell him he couldn't either.

Seemingly able to read her thoughts, he didn't offer the option of the car, and she didn't mention it, choosing to remain quietly grateful as they walked downstairs and outside. It was another beautiful day, and while most people associated remembering the dead with cloudy skies and rain, she couldn't remember the last time she had gone and the day been less than perfectly calm, the sun warm and the sky a placid blue.

They rode the train, neither of them choosing to break the silence, and when they began walking, he took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

The park had changed over the years, but some things had remained the same. She bypassed the swing sets and slides, ignored the merry go rounds, and made for a tall, thick tree. No one was beneath it, as if fate had nodded in her direction and allowed her the day, as it had for years. Even when she had gone to college in Okayama she had come back to Tokyo for Father's Day.

Wordlessly she jumped, grabbing onto a branch and pushing her feet against the trunk, half propelling and half pulling herself up. Grunting from effort, she quickly used the next several thick branches to pull herself higher.

Sesshoumaru followed, and if he found it childish, he didn't say so. When she finally stopped and picked a thick branch to straddle, back against the trunk, he used his strength and balance to pull himself up next to her, sitting further out. Thick foliage hid them from view, but a few errant sunbeams hit them, shadows in the shapes of leaves dark on the white of his shirt.

“You don't often speak of him,” Sesshoumaru finally said.

“I was young when he died, I don't remember a lot,” She answered honestly. “After he died, it seemed to hurt mom to talk about him, so I didn't.”

“What is your favorite memory?” He asked after a thoughtful pause. He seemed genuinely curious, to sincerely care, and she realized she wanted to share the memory with him.

“Here,” She said, nodding at the tree. “I was four and I wanted to climb the tree, but I wasn't tall enough. So he carried me up. I held on to him like a monkey, and when he stopped, we were so high I was terrified, and wouldn't let go of him to sit on a branch. So he sat with me in his lap. Mom had gone to get us ice cream, and when she came back she started shouting. My father laughed. He had this, this deep laugh, one that started in his stomach and just resonated,” She told him, smiling at the memory of her mother's panic and her father's easy joy.

“By the time we got back down, the ice cream had melted. Mom was pregnant at the time, and dad teased her, saying she was just jealous she couldn't join us.”

“It's a good memory,” Sesshoumaru murmured quietly.

Kagome realized then that she and Sesshoumaru shared another facet of their lives, a loss that their siblings could not understand. Souta and Inu Yasha knew their fathers very much as abstracts, from stories and the memories of others. Sesshoumaru knew what it was to know a father and lose him too soon. The pains were equal, but different, and Kagome felt a selfish sort of comfort that she had someone that understood that loss, shared it with her.

“What about you? What's your favorite memory with your father?”

He grew pensive, staring beyond her, or perhaps inward. She could see him sifting through the memories, could see the flicker of different emotions in his eyes as he tried to find one. She hoped, desperately, it was because there were so many, and not because there were so few.

“The day he presented me to the dragon clan,” Sesshoumaru finally said.

“The dragon, you mean-”

“Ryukotsusei? Yes, that clan. At the time relations were tense, but civil. He introduced me as his heir and future ruler. I was unimpressed with the dragons, including their leader, and in my childishness, said as much in very plain language.”

Kagome gasped, not able to picture Sesshoumaru, even as a child, being so rude or impulsive. Sesshoumaru chuckled, smiling softly at the memory.

“My father made excuses for me, and led me from the hall. He took me a goodly distance away, I assumed to thrash me with the flat of his blade. But he began laughing. When he finally stopped, he was doubled over and his face was so red I remember thinking he might have been ill. He told me that he'd always wanted to tell the dragon that he was a self important moron, and that hearing me say it had been a vicarious dream come true.”

“He sounds like a good dad,” Kagome chuckled, unable to stop her own smile.

“When I was younger, I didn't think so,” He admitted, still smiling. It shifted, changed, to a knowing sort of smile, an understanding one. “I think I understand him more now. He was a good lord, and a good father.”

“Even if he left you with a useless sword?” Kagome asked archly, a sly smile blooming.

“Not useless,” Sesshoumaru rebutted. “And yes, even though he left me Tenseiga. There was much I had to learn then, and very little I truly understood. That he had the faith to bequeath it to me, the faith that I would listen to what it would teach me, it's still humbling, I suppose.”

It was the most he'd ever said about his father, and while he had been a proud youkai, it was a quiet pride, at least in this era. To hear him admit that he was still humbled by his father's gift was, in it's own way, as humbling for her as his father's faith was for him.

“He would have liked you,” Sesshoumaru told her, looking up at the sky, the scattered light crossing over his features. “He respected strong women, and understood more about the soul than most. You would have gotten along well.”

Kagome took the compliment, as absentminded as it was, for what it was, nodding.

“My dad would have liked you,” She said with complete confidence. “If he knew what you do for youkai, for Japan, he would have respected you. And he would have loved cooking with you.”

“He cooked?”

“He loved to,” Kagome laughed. “And he was always experimenting. It didn't always turn out so well, but it usually worked. I think you both would have had a lot of fun in the kitchen.”

“I wonder what they think of the pack,” Sesshoumaru mused, his soft smile never fading.

“I think they would both appreciate it for what it is, for what it's become. I think they'd be proud of us, happy for us, that we have it,” Kagome told him with complete confidence.

“I think so too,” Sesshoumaru told her, eyes resting on her, reflecting the feeling of peace that had settled over her.

  ____________________

AN: You all are truly fantastic. In the rush to play catch up, the reviews and questions and curiosities have been amazing and encouraging. I am hesitant to answer questions since I have written ahead a -tiny- bit in my enthusiasm, and I don't do spoilers. I will say that Sesshoumaru's erm, snit, has been laid out in prior chapters, and the explanation is there. I will also say that the next few months are -fairly- busy ones for this story, so keep a lookout for frequent updates.


	40. Panic Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Panic Day**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha**

**AN:** This was for June 18

**Update 2/2**

_____________________

Kagome was packing her suitcase when she heard the loud, almost frantic banging on the front door. Brows knitting together, she checked for any sign of youki and, finding nothing, walked downstairs. The banging quickened in tempo and Kagome hurried, worried that something had happened to one of the pack and that someone was trying to warn her.

But when she opened the door, it was not a policeman or paramedic, or even another resident of the building that almost fell into the apartment.

It was Eri.

And she was a mess. Her makeup, minimal, looked as if she'd forgotten to wash it off the night before and darkened around her eyes, which were bloodshot from crying, which she was still doing.

“Eri, what-” Kagome started, more surprised by her friend's tears and shaking shoulders than she was by her presence. Despite her declaration weeks before, Eri had always been capricious, and Kagome had doubted her friend would keep her silence as long as she had. But for Eri to show up in tears, looking panicked and completely lost, was the last thing she had expected.

“I didn't know who else to go to,” Eri sobbed. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know-”

“Eri, calm down,” Kagome commanded, closing the door and putting her hands on her friend's shoulders. “Tell me what's going on. Deep breaths.”

Eri sniffed loudly, then took a deep, shuddering breath before releasing it. But instead of saying anything, she opened her purse and pulled out a box, handing it to Kagome.

Kagome stared down at it, at first not comprehending why Eri would be giving it to her before the dominoes in her mind fell neatly, leading from the box to her friend's terror.

“Are you-” Kagome asked, gaze swinging from the box, neatly labeled 'pregnancy test' to Eri, who was shaking her head and hugging herself.

“I haven't done it yet. I'm scared to,” Eri admitted. “I can't tell my mom, and if my dad finds out, he'll kill me. I can't- Please, I don't want to be alone.”

The quiet desperation in Eri's tone decided Kagome. Whatever had happened between them, and whatever needed to be resolved, would have to wait.

“We'll use my bathroom. Come on,” Kagome told her, taking her hand and leading her upstairs. Eri was still sniffling when Kagome closed the bathroom door for privacy and waited patiently. By the time Eri emerged, the test sitting on the counter and Kagome was pacing the length of her bedroom.

“Are you going somewhere?” Eri asked quietly, looking at the clothing on the bed and the suitcase that was half packed.

“Family vacation,” Kagome said, hedging around the fact that it would be pack, remembering the last argument they had gone through.

“Oh. I didn't know-”

“It's been awhile,” Kagome sighed, pushing the clothing back and sitting on the edge of the bed. Patting the spot next to her, she waited for Eri to sit. After a moment of hesitation, Eri took the offered seat and Kagome wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

“We have to wait three minutes,” Eri said blankly, as if her tears, once finished, had drained her of all emotion. Kagome nodded, not sure what to say. She wanted to ask questions, to find out what had happened. But all of them seemed rude and unimportant.

“Can you look at it first?” Eri asked a moment later.

“Sure,” Kagome told her, stomach bottoming out. What if Eri was pregnant? How was she supposed to tell her friend, who she hadn't seen in a month and a half, that she was pregnant? Panicking inwardly, she remembered Tala's delivery and felt the same nervous, anxious tension building up, a blind panic that tried to seize her senses and twist her heart.

It was only the occasional shiver that ran through Eri, and by proxy her, that kept her tethered to her silence and reason. Despite their fallout Kagome couldn't turn away, couldn't leave her friend to face the wait alone. And the wait was an eternity. Three minutes seemed to slow, to trickle by, each second repeating again and again. Kagome wished for an older clock, one with hands, especially a second hand, to help mark the passing. Every time she looked at the glowing red numbers of her own clock she saw the same numbers again and again.

When three minutes had passed on the digital clock on her nightstand, she squeezed Eri once and got up, walking into her bathroom and looking down at the test.

Before she said anything, she checked the box to make sure that she didn't say the incorrect answer, and then looked to Eri, who looked ready to vomit, her hands cupped over her mouth and reddened eyes opened wide.

“Negative. You're not pregnant,” Kagome told her, letting out a relieved, grateful sigh.

She didn't expect another wave of tears, an utter breakdown that put the first one to shame. Kagome wondered how long her friend had been waiting, letting the test linger in her purse, before choosing to come to the apartment.

Sitting down again, she hugged Eri, unsurprised when Eri returned the embrace, squeezing her tightly and sobbing right into her ear. Words spilled out, garbled and nonsensical, but Kagome grasped that Eri was grateful to the gods and to her.

When the tears finally quieted and Kagome's shoulder was soaking wet, Eri pulled away, wiping her face and sniffing, a loud snort sort of sniff that was, at best, an utterly rude, shocking sound. But neither female seemed to care, opting instead to attempt watery smiles.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to come to. This- I couldn't go to one of the other girls. They'd pretend to be shocked or care, but- But they wouldn't be. Kami Kagome, I've missed you. I'm so sorry,” Eri sniffed.

“I've missed you too,” Kagome said, although it was a half truth. She had missed the fun she had with her friend, but she had not missed the tantrums and the arguments, or the brash, brazen behavior.

“It's just, ever since you moved in here, I've been so stupid. You just spend so much time with him, and talk about him so often, I guess, I mean, it's stupid. But I missed you. You used to be the one that kept me grounded, and then you were gone.”

Eri had been-Jealous?

“But, you have all these boyfriends and the girls on campus,” Kagome started, feeling strangely out of her depth.

“They're not real,” Eri shrugged. “It's fun to party with them, but most of them don't care about anything but clubbing and getting wasted. I like to have fun, but I don't live it. I know it's selfish, I just, I like being able to have both, clubbing and relaxing. And you're the only person I trust, that, I mean, I've had that test for three days and the only person I could think to come to was you.”

“I didn't mean to vanish,” Kagome admitted. “When everything piled up though, there was so much. I thought you didn't notice.”

“I did, but I was happy you were getting more of a life. Until it felt like you didn't want me in it anymore.”

“I didn't realize,” Kagome murmured, feeling a flash of guilt. Had she left her friend behind for the pack?

“Thank you for answering and letting me in though,” Eri told her. “I know I was a jerk last time. I was pretty sure you'd tell me to go to hell, it's why I didn't call.”

“You know,” Kagome said a minute later. “I'm going to the beach, and I don't have a bathing suit.”

Eri looked over her shoulder, smiling wanly.

“You don't have much of anything for the beach,” She informed her.

“I have shorts,” Kagome defended, falling into their easy banter. Eri made a rude sound, and Kagome felt herself relax. While she wouldn't press for details about the incident itself, she knew that details would come out as they shopped. And she hadn't been lying, she didn't have a bathing suit. The absence would provide her with an excuse for them to find familiar, even ground.

Eri latched onto the normalcy, and Kagome let her cling, knowing finally what had bothered her friend so much and had caused the tension. It wouldn't dispel it, not immediately, but she hoped that maybe things would begin to right themselves now that she knew what to to be careful of.

_____________________

Kagome understood why girls took their boyfriends shopping by the time she walked into the apartment. What had been a search for a bathing suit had turned into a minor shopping spree with Eri's guidance. While she couldn't find it in herself to regret the clothing, all of it within the boundaries of her taste while somehow satisfying Eri's demands, she didn't want to think about the credit card bill Sesshoumaru would be receiving.

Said youkai was in the kitchen cooking dinner when she dropped the bags onto the couch and went to the cabinets, immediately pulling down two wine glasses and a bottle from the rack.

“Long day?” Sesshoumaru asked, looking amused.

“Eri came over.”

“You went out,” He rebutted.

“After she had a breakdown and took a pregnancy test,” Kagome retorted. “She's not, but we talked out some stuff and I figured some shopping would help. I had intended to just get a bathing suit.”

“But?” He asked, turning over a steak.

“She needs to be a professional shopper, or someone that works in one of those stores. I swear, she can get people to agree to anything,” Kagome groaned, uncorking the bottle and letting it breathe.

“I see. The damage to my considerable fortune aside, did you have a good day?”

“I did,” Kagome admitted. “I didn't realize how exhausting shopping was.”

“You seem to have done well enough.”

“I'm sorry-” She started, flushing guiltily.

“I'm sure my accounts will never recover,” He interrupted, chuckling. “It's not a problem. You and your friend reconciled, and you found a bathing suit. And other items.”

“I managed to sit through a pedicure,” She stated proudly.

“Any incidents?” He asked dryly as she poured wine.

“Nope, Eri held my leg down.” She wiggled her toes for effect, and Sesshoumaru looked down, eyes widening at the bright, light blue they were painted.

“Blue?”

“Why not?” Kagome asked, looking down at them.

“It's fine,” He chuckled. “I suppose I don't get to know where all you went until we get to the beach.”

“You would be correct,” She shot out before taking a sip of wine. He grabbed the other glass, toasting her before sipping and tossing the vegetables expertly in the pan without even looking at them.

“Showoff,” She muttered.

He said nothing, but his smile spoke for itself.

_____________________

AN: Eri does have a point. Kagome has a point. Both of them just need to get and then keep their shit together with one another.

See you on the Solstice.


	41. Solstice

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Summer Solstice**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha. The poem Kagome reads is by Rumi. I don't own any of his poetry. The villa/cottage is based off of an actual villa found at the Busena Terrace Resort in Nago, so I also own nothing of theirs.

Also, thank you for all of your reviews. And LOOKIT! I'M ON TIME AGAIN!

 ____________________

Kagome looked at the villa, then at the key in her hand, and then back at the cottage.

“Are we really staying here?” She asked. Even better than the pictures, the villa rested perfectly on a hill, looking down at the ocean below. The illusion of lush wildness covered the side, perfectly kept but in full bloom, several different colored hibiscus blossoms splashing the entrance with color.

“We are, if you can manage to open the door,” Sesshoumaru laughed. Kagome turned back to him, sticking her tongue out and blowing raspberries, safe in the knowledge that he was carrying their bags, and she could have her tongue back in her mouth before he could drop them, if he chose to.

And he didn't, although he did narrow his eyes. Carelessly tossing her hair she walked, almost skipped, to the front door of the cottage and inserted the key and throwing open the door.

“I can't wait,” She said, walking in and looking around. The first thing she noticed was the wall that, unlike most walls, stood in the middle of the floor and didn't even reach the ceiling. The next thing she noticed was the bathroom, which had a door and, strangely enough, a set of shutters in the wall, opened to expose the shower.

Walking past the odd wall and the living area, marked only by three couches forming a horse shoe, she walked over to the large glass doors, which showed a small patio area and hot tub, and beyond that, the ocean. The water was as blue and clear as it had been in the pictures, promising a cool and refreshing swim after the long, almost too warm walk along the path from the hotel, where they had checked in.

“There has been a mistake,” Sesshoumaru sighed, obviously frustrated.

Any dreams of a quick change and running down to the water died a quick, soundless death when she turned to him and saw his frown.

“What's wrong?” She asked. He was closer to the bathroom and she walked over to where he was, expecting to see any number of things. People already in residence, maybe asleep. A hole in the floor or the ceiling, maybe even a mess or a dead body.

She did not expect to see a bed sitting on the other side of the wall, which, once seen, made the wall look like a tall headboard, provided for privacy.

“I don't understand,” She began.

“A simple mix up, I will call the desk and have us reassigned,” He told her, walking over to the phone on the wall and picking it up. After scanning the list on the cradle he dialed four numbers and waited patiently.

She listened as he tried, calmly at first, to explain that he had reserved a two bedroom cottage, and that they had been given one that didn't even have a proper bedroom. What had begun as calm and authoritarian quickly became growling, intimidating and frustrated.

And then resigned, which didn't bode well at all.

When he put the phone back on the cradle he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to her, expression apologetic.

“All of the cottages currently have residents,” He sighed. “It was either go back to the hotel or let them comp the cottage.”

The hotel was a long, very long walk away, and she knew part of the draw of the cottages was the distance from so many people packed into such a small space. The resort itself was huge, and the villas and cottages had provided the perfect medium.

“This is fine, we can figure it out,” She told him, shaking her head. “You can have the bed and I'll take the couch.”

She was not going to contemplate showering or, even more mortifying, using the restroom with that shutter closed over the open space. She wasn't sure she would be able to knowing that even with the illusion of privacy, there wouldn't be any.

“I can take the couch, you'll sleep in the bed.”

“You take the bed. I can't even get into it, it's too tall,” She retorted, trying to reason with him. It was a tall bed, she'd have to use something as a step to get into it, and even then she'd probably be climbing. Not to mention he was paying for the whole vacation, and the last thing he deserved was to sleep on a couch that was probably too short for his tall frame.

But he was ignoring her, and in the next instant she was in the air and then sinking into the plush mattress.

“You can get in that way,” He told her, tone leaving no room for argument. That didn't stop her from trying.

“Sesshoumaru, you're being stubborn. Take the bed,” She demanded, slipping off of it and walking around the wall where he was opening a previously unnoticed wardrobe.

“I have slept on much worse than a couch,” He reminded her.

“And so have I,” She said, crossing her arms. He turned to her, gaze narrowed.

“You will sleep in the bed if I have to drag you into it.”

His words could have been construed as something else, had his tone been lighter. But he was deadly serious, and she knew the voice he was using well enough to know that he was using his status as alpha, a rarity to begin with, to pull rank and command her to do something.

“We switch nights,” She tried.

“No.”

“Sesshoumaru-”

“Alpha.”

“Jerk.”

“Brat.”

The words, normally insults, held no heat to them, and she sighed, giving in. He would have his way, regardless of what she said, and she knew to accept it. Nodding dutifully, she walked over to her suitcase and picked it up, groaning from the weight. Looking around, she spotted a small dresser and dragged the suitcase, immediately wondering why she had packed so much when she hoped to be spending most of her time in her bathing suit.

They unpacked quietly, and when she finished, she pulled had a bathing suit and sarong remaining, intending to get down to the beach and into the water as soon as she could, and hopefully forget the fact that she was essentially sharing a single room with her roommate.

He went ahead of her in the restroom, closing the door and following that by closing the shutters over the open space in the wall to the bathroom. It felt childish and juvenile and utterly unlike their normal ease with changing, and she knew it was because they were taking turns that it felt that way. But she wasn't willing to add any further tension to an already bad start, so she remained silent and walked past him, eyes on the floor, to go change.

When she came out, she was holding her clothes and dropped them on the bed, making sure to tighten the sarong around her waist before looking for the towels. There had been a few in the restroom, but she hoped to save those and, given the hot tube and the beach, she prayed they provided more to dry off with. Walking around the wall she saw Sesshoumaru holding two towels, but that wasn't what got her attention.

She had seen him in casual clothing and even his pajamas. But in the months they had lived together, she had never seen him without a shirt. In fact, she had never seen him without a shirt, not in the feudal era and not in the current one.

“Want to go swimming?” She asked dumbly, forcing herself to look up from his chest, his very toned, muscular chest, to his face.

His gaze was stony and she immediately berated herself for gawking.

“Let's go, the others are probably waiting.” Actually, she had no idea if they were, but she needed to get out in the air and out of the room, bedroom, with the half naked daiyoukai. Sesshoumaru nodded, reaching for the bracelet on the coffee table and slipping it on.

His shape didn't change, but the darkening of his skin and hair, the muddy brown of his eyes, made it infinitely easier to breathe around him.

The walk from the patio, with its soft, perfectly manicured grass onto a stone path and then onto sand was quiet, and Kagome wished, inexplicably, for one of the towels to hug to her chest. There were others on the beach, but it was big enough that the small groups were scattered about, and Sesshoumaru led her to a small spot where he dropped the towels. Seconds later Shippou and Souten joined them, Shippou in long swimming trunks similar to Sesshoumaru's own, and Souten wearing a one piece, a sheer skirt tied around her waist.

“This place is spectacular guys,” Souten sighed. “It's nice to get out of the city and away from work.”

Kagome flinched, not wanting to think about her paper.

“You know, it's not really a vacation yet,” Shippou said slyly, looking from Sesshoumaru to Souten as he said the words.

“We're on the beach, miles away from an actual city, with a hot tub and champagne waiting for us back at the cottage. How is it not a vacation?” Souten demanded, laughing throatily.

Kagome saw Shippou haul Souten over his shoulder and begin running for the water, ignoring her outraged shrieks only a moment before she felt the ominous presence of Sesshoumaru's youki swelling.

“Oh no,” She said, backing away from him. “Don't you even think-”

And she was over his shoulder as he ran on top of the sand, and she had no doubt he was running on top of it, because despite his pace she was barely jostled at all, accounting for the evenness of her demands to be put down.

Which he did. After he had gotten into the water.

And he threw her, which she supposed counted as being put down, to a youkai at least.

____________________

She was just emerging from the bathroom, already in her pajamas, when Sesshoumaru closed the front door, turning with a bottle of wine and two glasses in hand.

“Room service?” She joked, too relaxed and happy to worry about sleeping arrangements as he walked over to the couch and sat down.

“They are surprisingly accommodating despite their inability to keep their reservations in order,” He answered as she sat across from him, curling her legs beneath her. He uncorked the wine and sat it on the coffee table, letting it breathe before getting up and walking over to the wardrobe. She watched in curious silence as he opened the solitary drawer in the bottom and pulled out a bag. When he sat back down she almost asked what was in the bag, but stopped herself.

He handed her a paperback book before pulling out another.

“What's this?” She asked, looking at the cover.

“Pleasure reading,” He told her.

“Rumi. I read some of his poetry in school, but the professor didn't seem to enjoy it.”

“Read and form your own opinion,” He told her. “Never let someone else's truth interfere with your own.”

Taking that as a tacit hint, she opened the book up to the table of contents and, seeing that it was merely a list of the poems, she flipped to the start and began to read.

And was immediately transfixed. While the metaphors were, at first, a little strange, she quickly warmed to them. The poetry she read was not unlike the poetry she loved in that much was hidden in the words, open to countless interpretations. When Sesshoumaru finally poured them both a glass of wine, she drank absently, barely tasting the wine as she devoured the poetry.

“At the twilight, a moon appeared in the sky, then it landed upon the earth to look at me,” She started, particularly entranced with the poem. “Like a hawk stealing a bird at the time of prey, that moon stole me and rushed back into the sky. I looked at myself, I did not see me anymore, for in that moon my body turned as fine as soul.”

Sesshoumaru was watching her intently, setting his book down on the coffee table, not bothering to mark his place.

“The nine spheres disappeared in that moon, the ship of my existence drowned in that sea,” She finished. “His writing is beautiful.”

“It is,” Sesshoumaru agreed quietly, still staring. Kagome flushed under the curiosity, the steady, unwavering depth of the gaze and turned away, reaching for her glass to wet her suddenly too dry throat.

“Thank you for this. I admit I wouldn't have gotten it for myself, and this is, it's wonderful.”

“Perhaps you would return the favor and continue to read aloud?” He asked.

After having given it to her to begin with, she couldn't deny him the request, and settled into the couch, the wineglass in hand, and began to read. The wine warmed her cheeks and throat and the poetry pulled her away from the walls of the cottage, seeming to take her closer to the sea and sky.

And when her voice became raspy and the wine was gone, he gently commanded that she go to bed, and in the bucolic haze that had settled on her like a warm blanket, she didn't protest when he -perhaps jokingly, perhaps not- helped her in and tucked the light covers around her.

 ____________________

A/N: The poem Kagome reads is At The Twilight by Rumi. While the interpretations are literally limitless, I suppose you can guess why I picked it.


	42. Fairy Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fairy Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** This holiday was brought to my attention by _Darkness Living In Hope_. I couldn't resist. This is also a few hours early, Fairy Day is the 24th. I'm whomped from remodeling and I will be doing it tomorrow as well so you get it early for once lol.

 ~*~

Kagome stretched, tensed, relaxed, and reached for the glass of wine on the edge of the massive bath tub. Bubbles created a modest blanket, and the lighting, dimmed to create an atmosphere of peaceful solitude, adding to the sense of intimacy.

What was still absent was the sense of privacy, but both she and Sesshoumaru had settled into the routine more easily than she had anticipated. There were times they both absented themselves, choosing to sit outside on the patio and enjoying the view of the ocean.

He was outside then, giving her time to relax in a bath after a long day of romping on the beach with the pack. After dealing with three rambunctious almost full blooded youkai, not to mention Inu Yasha and Shippou's antics, she was more than ready to immerse herself in the thoughts of the bygone mystic. Still surprised by the intensity of the words, especially given the time period and culture, she had savored them, trying to take her time. The unrestrained life flowing through them captured her attention, and she promised herself she would look further into the author once she returned to Tokyo.

She looked at the glass, realized it was empty, and heaved a small sigh. While she would love to linger, it would be unfair to Sesshoumaru to make him sit outside any longer. Setting her book on the wide edge and unplugging the drain, she got up and grabbed a warm towel. Quickly drying off, she cast out her senses.

Sesshoumaru was barely there, far enough away that he couldn't be on the patio. Curious, she ignored her folded pajamas and walked into the room, choosing to don one of the light sundresses Eri had talked her into buying and letting her damp hair hang loosely to dry. Not bothering with her sandals, she walked out onto the patio and cast out her senses to look for her roommate.

Only to have her concentration utterly shattered by a loud, sharp cry.

That just happened to be Shippou's name.

Immediately understanding why Sesshoumaru had gone wherever it was he had gone, she began walking, wanting to get away from the sound and the villas. The building Shippou and Souten shared was far enough away that she knew they had to be outside for it to be that loud, and being near them during that was more uncomfortable than helping Tala deliver.

Following the faint trace of youki, she let it guide her down the beach, past the few couples lingering to look at the stars and towards the docks. She saw a lone figure walking in and out of the lights strung along the posts, hands in the pockets of his jeans and an unbuttoned shirt blowing as the breeze tugged at it. Knowing it was him even without the feel of his youki, she continued on her path, smiling when he stopped and turned to her, waiting.

The dock was steady beneath her feet, solidly anchored into the sand beneath it. The cool breeze carried the tang of salt and brine, tangling her hair haphazardly around her face. Pushing it away she closed the distance between them, waving a greeting.

“Sorry I took so long,” She apologized quietly.

“It's alright. I needed some air, so I decided to go for a walk.”

“Yeah, I umm, a walk sounded wonderful,” She finished lamely.

“Kitsune,” He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Have no grasp of decorum. Or sense.”

Obviously he knew that she had been privy to the activities going on, but he said nothing further on the subject, choosing instead to continue walking along the wooden path above the water. Kagome matched his leisurely pace, eyes on the sky above them. Most of the resort was dark, and they were far enough away from the city that the light pollution didn't interfere. It made for a beautiful sight, and combined with the rhythmic lapping of the waves against the wood she was easily able to ignore her embarrassment in favor of linking her arm with his and enjoying the peace.

“I considered renting a boat,” He said as they rounded a turn and continued further into the water.

“Are you sure that's wise?” She asked.

“Meaning?”

“Inu Yasha and Shippou may have matured, but the minute they get in proximity they go back to how they used to be, except Shippou can fight back. Add his children into the mix and it's like having five children, not to mention the babies.”

“I suppose you're right,” He chuckled lightly. “Still, it could be novel entertainment.”

“Oh yes, trapped on a boat with you three-”

“I fail to see how I would be a problem,” He rebutted swiftly.

“Oh, I must have imagined you attempting to drown your brother,” Kagome said idly, shoving him lightly. Or trying to, he didn't budge at all, but he did laugh, a laugh that started deep in his chest and echoed in the air around them, mixing with the sound of the breeze and the lull of the ocean.

“Merely attempting to show him a strange fish.”

“I'm sure.”

“And you didn't tell his children to bury him while he slept?” He countered.

“I have no idea what you're talking about. And he woke up when they tried anyway.”

“Or used reikon to trip him and make him fall face first into the water?”

“The beads are gone and he was cursing in front of his children. Tala was on the beach with the babies. Someone had to stop him.”

“Hnn.”

“Hnn?” She asked, nudging him again. “And what does 'hnn' mean?”

“Merely hnn.”

“Insufferable youkai.”

“Bratty human.”

She stuck her tongue out, surprised to feel it pinched between his claws again. He hadn't done it since before their vacation, and she hadn't expected him to do it.

“Ret row,” She demanded.

“No.”

“Row.”

“No.”

She poked at his chest with her ki, channeling a small spark to make a point, but it didn't have the desired effect. He only looked more amused. Rolling her eyes and making an exasperated sound, she brought her hand up again, pushing against his bare chest and channeling more energy, hopefully enough to push him away.

Which it did.

She just hadn't guessed that she'd used enough power to send him over the edge of the dock.

Panicking, not knowing if she had knocked him unconscious, she knelt at the edge of the dock, eyes scanning the dark water for any sign of movement. There was nothing, not a glimpse of his white shirt or bubbles rising to the surface.

“Sesshoumaru,” She tried, voice cracking. Maybe if she used her ki to summon one of the others, surely a distress call of some sort would get their attention. She might be able to shout for them, knowing Inu Yasha's hearing.

“Sesshoumaru, this isn't funny,” She shouted, heart beating double time as she put her face closer to the water, hoping any second that he would surface, his smirk in place and amused that he had worried her.

“Please, please be alright,” She whimpered. “Sesshoumaru!”

She felt his youki pushing at her from behind, sending head over feet into the water with an indignant screech. Somersaulting in the salty water, she surged to the surface, sputtering when she could breathe again and pushing her hair from her eyes. Turning, she saw his headed bobbing on the other side of the dock.

He was smirking.

“Was that really necessary?” She demanded, bracing her elbows on the dock to steady herself.

“I thought you enjoyed the water.”

“I just took a bath.”

“Can you not take another?”

“I-” He had her there, and she knew it. Ignoring his smirk, which had grown wider, she was sure of it, she began pulling herself up onto the dock, no easy feat when her sundress was soaking and the dock was several inches above the water.

His head disappeared beneath the surface of the inky darkness and a second later she felt herself being pulled back into the water, completely wasting her efforts. When she had been pulled several feet away from the dock itself, he surfaced again.

This time he wasn't smirking, he was smiling, and it made all of the difference, banishing her frustration and making her laugh as she treaded water.

“Alright, mighty alpha. Since you're trying to drown me-”

“If I had wanted to drown you, I would point out a peculiar fish,” He chuckled, earning another laugh she couldn't stop.

“Which way?” She asked, trusting him implicitly.

“Anywhere.”

 ~*~

AN: Because sometimes Sesshoumaru can have a Puckish urge.  


	43. Beautician's Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Beautician's Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

__________________________

Kagome laughed as she was dragged away, each of her hands firmly grasped in Tala and Souten's. The two youkai insisted, quite adamantly, that it was time for a girl's day, and that the men were in charge of the children. Tala expressed her strict desire to return to her children in one piece, but that she would take no responsibility for her mate, only that she wanted him alive, earning a solemn nod from Sesshoumaru, although he ruined the effect with a smirk.

“They'll level the resort,” Kagome said as they walked along the path to the hotel where, Tala and Souten promised a spa awaited.

“They won't,” Tala said, waving off Kagome's concern. “Inu Yasha knows that if he does something to make me angry I'll make him sleep on the couch and take a full night of duty with the children.”

“I'll have to remember that,” Souten said, grinning slyly.

“I'd murder for those subjugation beads you had on him in the past,” Tala snorted. “He's a good mate and the best father in the world, but-”

“He's still male and inu?” Kagome supplied.

“Exactly,” Tala laughed. “Stubborn inu.”

“Kitsune aren't much better,” Souten pointed out.

“Yes, because Shippou curses every time he stubs his toe or tries to teach children how to use youkai weaponry.”

“Think about it,” Souten argued. “When we have a child, Shippou will be teaching him every trick he knows. There will be two of them.”

Kagome listened to their banter, more amused than left out. The two youkai made a point to include her, and they all heaved long suffering sighs, because even if Kagome wasn't mated, she could commiserate on what it was to live with a male, and both youkai agreed that out of the three, Sesshoumaru was the most stubborn of them all.

“Still, he cooks,” Tala said.

“He's neat,” Souten added.

“He's fun,” Kagome admitted. “And considerate.”

“Perfect roommate.”

“Maybe the perfect boyfriend,” Tala tried, giving Kagome a sly glance.

“It's not like that,” Kagome defended, earning a derisive snort from both youkai, the sounds synced so perfectly it reminded Kagome eerily of stereo.

“You two already act like mates, except you aren't jumping each other at every opportunity,” Souten declared.

“What, like taking advantage of the hot tub?” Kagome retorted, earning a vivid blush from Souten.

“I-”

“Anyone with ears heard that,” Tala stated bluntly. “And there's no shame in it, you're newly mated. Inu Yasha and I have been together for decades and we still-”

“Too much information,” Kagome and Souten said at the same time, making Tala laugh.

“Either way, it's natural. And you,” She said, giving Kagome a pointed look. “You need to take a look, and I mean really look.”

“He's my friend.”

“And Inu Yasha is mine, my best friend in fact. It's part of the reason I love him so much.”

“Sesshoumaru said you guys hated each other on sight,” Kagome said, wanting to change the subject away from her and Sesshoumaru. They had only recently gotten back on an even keel, and the last thing she wanted was for some silly, girlish notions and gossip getting back to him and upsetting that balance.

“Oh we did. He said something about wolves being mangy or something. I don't even remember, it's been so long and it was so stupid. But I took offense on my cousin's behalf, not knowing how Inu Yasha was with Kouga. Well, we caused a pretty big scene.”

“I've heard stories,” Souten snickered. “They had to lock down the area because of a freak rock slide.”

“What?” Kagome gasped.

“Everyone was safe,” Tala defended hotly. “And it was his strike that caused it.”

Kagome listened, wide eyed, as Tala told her about how she and Inu Yasha had met, fought, tried to make amends, fought more, and finally, somehow, ending up in bed together. That part was -thankfully- not described, although Tala was smiling as she admitted that she still couldn't fathom how it had happened, only that she was glad it had.

Souten picked up after that, telling the other females how Shippou had found her, after almost a century, and tried to help her. Being a creature of pride she hadn't accepted it, but had moved along after he had tried to help one too many times, starting a centuries long chase, first as friends and then as lovers, moving from place to place learning different art techniques and meeting occasionally.

“I think it was Venice when I realized I was in love with him,” She admitted with a laugh. “Shippou didn't like the city at all, the smell was too much for him. But he stayed and was determined to learn with me. Stubborn fox,” Ayumi laughed as they walked into the hotel. Kagome assumed the youkai knew where they were going as they navigated the building.

“What about you? I've heard Sesshoumaru found you at the apartment, but neither of you have really told us about the night,” Tala murmured.

“I was going to a costume party with a friend,” Kagome shrugged. “Nothing very exciting. I was dressed like him though, and someone tried to umm, force their attention on me. I broke his nose with the hilt of a fake sword.”

“You did what?” Souten choked, a smile stretching her features.

“Mhmm, and Sesshoumaru was there when the elevator opened and I ran past him. In retrospect the whole thing is really funny. I had lost my cellphone and was just shouting up at the sky, and he came out and offered me a ride. I refused at first, I didn't recognize him, until he said I was dressed as him.”

“Bizarre,” Tala laughed. “I suppose fate has a funny way of working itself out. Why would you dress like him of all people?”

“I wanted to be my opposite.”

“You two are more alike than you think,” Souten chortled.

“I know that _now_ , but back _then_ I still remembered him from, well, then,” Kagome hedged as they walked past a small gaggle of women towards a desk.

Within minutes Kagome found herself naked on a massage table with strong hands rubbing her back and soothing out nonexistent knots and soreness.

“Inu Yasha needs to take lessons in massage therapy,” Tala groaned happily.

“Shippou's not bad, but I think he could do with a few classes too,” Souten murmured, eyes closed.

“Sesshoumaru gives wonderful massages,” Kagome said, her eyes closed as well, and oblivious to the two pairs of eyes that snapped open, gazes considering.

__________________________

“No.”

“Kagome, how long has it been?” Souten demanded.

“Awhile?” She tried, not wanting to admit the last time she had gotten a haircut had been six months before. The ends of her hair _were_ looking a little frayed. But still, the idea of getting a haircut at a resort, no matter how posh the salon looked, balked. And she liked her hair the length it was, the way it was.

“It needs some style.”

“I like my hair.”

“Your bangs make you look too young.”

“I like looking young,” She snorted.

“You don't look like an adult. How do you expect other scholars to take you seriously when you still look like you just graduated high school?” Tala pointed out pragmatically.

“I-” That stung, more than Kagome cared to admit. “Fine.”

“I think layers would look good,” Souten said, looking at Kagome's hair, tumbling down past her shoulders.

Kagome looked at the salon, a very expensive looking salon, and the pile of hair one of the stylists was sweeping away, gulping nervously.

__________________________

She fingered her hair nervously, still unused to the different lengths that brushed the tops of her shoulders and her back. Tala and Souten both assured her, several times, that it was perfect and that she looked older, more mature. Kagome wasn't sure she liked the idea, but knew there was no going back, and that she'd have to deal with it.

She wondered what Sesshoumaru would think.

They weren't far off when Tala's eyes widened and even Souten looked frustrated.

“What's wrong?” Kagome asked, growing worried.

“The males are fighting.”

“Fighting?”

“Inu Yasha and Shippou.”

“Sesshoumaru?”

“I don't hear him. Yet.”

They picked up their pace and hurried for the stretch of villas, Souten and Tala able to move more quickly while Kagome struggled in the sand behind them. Tala announced, quite loudly and not without a hint of panic, that the shouting had suddenly stopped, launching herself into a dead run. By the time she caught up they were outside of the villa Inu Yasha and Tala's family had been staying in, and Shippou and Inu Yasha were unconscious, laying on the ground in the sun.

“What happened?” Kagome asked, staring at the hanyou and kitsune.

“What's that smell?” Tala demanded, looking nauseated.

“Uncle Sesshoumaru is fast,” One of the children said, eyes wide. They were giving Sesshoumaru, reading a novel at the patio table, a wide berth.

“Shippou thought it would be amusing to throw durians at Inu Yasha. Several of them broke on him, he'll need a bath. Shippou as well.”

“And you laid them out why?” Souten asked, wrinkling her nose at the smelly mess her mate was.

“One of them almost hit Uncle Sesshoumaru,” One of the children supplied.

“Oh. Well, at least they're not yelling anymore.”

“Did you all have fun?” Sesshoumaru asked, closing his novel.

“We did,” Kagome answered, watching Souten and Tala throwing their unconscious mates over their shoulders with little effort.

“Your hair looks nice. It suits you.”

She blushed hotly, irrationally pleased by his approving gaze.

“Thank you.”

__________________________

AN: Durians smell AWFUL. Period. Seriously. Awful. And they grow on Nago. 

Also, I would like to say a huge thank you to my reviewers. You guys are awesome. Impatient, but awesome. As to when our two wayward heroes will FINALLY be doing something that looks like solid romance, well, very shortly. I know I've been stringing you all along, but honestly? This was never meant to go this far, and it grew because you all wanted more days. So what I'm saying is, you all have no one but yourselves to blame. XD j/k Stay tuned for another chapter shortly. 


	44. Chapter 44

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Meteor Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by Rumi

 __________________________________________________

Kagome looked at her suitcase, feeling more than a little conflicted. She hadn't thought of Tokyo, or work, for over a week. In fact, she'd enjoyed her vacation so much that she didn't even feel particularly guilty for abandoning her paper and hadn't remembered that it was waiting for her until she'd begun to pack.

“I don't want to go home,” She sighed. And she didn't. The island paradise, and it had been an island within an island, a bubble outside of time and obligation, had not only given her time to grow closer to Tala and Souten, but to Inu Yasha and Shippou and the children. The people she had only barely known before felt more like family, like pack, than ever. And they'd all coexisted quite well, aside from the typical male fights, which had lost their edge and turned into amusing spectacles more than anything to worry about, and the occasional intimate moment that had been inadvertently shared by the mated couples.

Fingering the spine of the book that had become a nightly companion, Kagome put it on top with a sigh of regret before closing the suitcase. There was enough room for her skirt and tank top and her pajamas in the morning. Her clothes for the return trip were on top of the now empty dresser.

The patio door opened and Sesshoumaru stepped through, drawing her attention.

“Come,” He told her quietly, beckoning for her to follow him.

Wondering if he wanted one last evening stroll, a now commonplace occurrence, or if the others wanted to have one last night around the fire pit on Inu Yasha's patio, she slipped on her sandals and followed him outside and closed the door quietly behind her.

He walked her past the villas and cottages, down the beach and past other coupes out to admire the night sky and onto the docks. There was something different about him, an almost eager note, although it reflected only in his silence and the quickness of his step. It was a mute excitement, and when he turned right instead of left, as was their usual habit, she followed.

When he stopped in front of a boat, it's single sail tied down and bobbing with the water, she gave him an inquisitive look. Sesshoumaru jumped onto the boat and held his hand out. Trusting him, she took his hand and hopped over the water onto the boat deck. Weaving when it bobbed beneath her, she didn't protest his hands settling on her waist to steady her, or him guiding her to a small bench.

“You sail?” She asked quietly.

“I've been known to,” He chuckled, walking over to the side and untying the dock line. Minutes later the engine had started and he was directing them away from the other small boats and into the open, dark water.

Kagome relaxed, staring out into the distance, where the line of the sea and sky vanished and there was only the unending night. For a whimsical moment she imagined they were sailing in the sky, the ocean glimmering so brightly in the moonlight that it looked like stars winking in and out of existence. Entranced, she let out a happy sigh. If it was going to be her last night of vacation, she couldn't have imagined a better one. The only sounds were of the water slapping the side of the boat and hum of the engine, which, once they had made it further into open water, Sesshoumaru cut off and replaced with the sound of the sail dropping and catching the light breeze.

After he had finished, he walked over to her and tugged at her hand quietly. She didn't protest, getting up to let him open the bench and pull out two blankets. Wordlessly, seemingly in perfect accord, they spread one on the deck and then another. She crawled beneath it, slightly chilled, and used her arm to pillow her head as she stared at the sky.

“Sesshoumaru,” She murmured, eyes widening when she saw it.

“Hnn,” He asked, laying down next to her. His warmth seeped into her side and made her want to cuddle into it, but she was too shocked, too enraptured by the sky to look away.

“Did you know about this?”

“I did.”

“It's beautiful,” She whispered.

And it was, trails of light winking in and out of the darkness of the perfectly clear sky. A hundred vivid bursts of light trailing along the stars. She hadn't realized there would be a meteor shower, might not have known until it was over, and too late to see. The lack of light from the hotel or a city only intensified the sight, making it look like it was raining diamonds high above them. The boat rocked and bobbed, the water, salty and misting the air, created a rhythm on the keel, lulling her into a half trance.

“We have fallen into the place where everything is music,” She murmured softly, eyes still on the sky.

“Hnn,” Sesshoumaru agreed.

And they stayed there, watching the fall of stardust as it scattered across the sky until the sun dimmed the celestial fireworks and lightened to the sky with reds and pinks and purples and blues. And if they were tired when he brought them back to the docks, they didn't mind. Sesshoumaru ignored the panicked dock attendant, merely giving him a wad of bills and draping his arm over her shoulder as they slowly walked up the beach, enjoying the water foaming around their ankles and pulling at them.

 __________________________________________________

 **AN:** The line 'We have fallen into the place where everything is music' is from a poem by Rumi, titled, (redundancy here) 'Where Everything Is Music'. Also, you guys are mad I didn't have them all ultra awkward in the cabin, aren't you. Snrrft. Don't worry, awkwardness will be ensuing...Very shortly actually. Stay tuned!


	45. I Forgot Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**I Forgot Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha, Guitar Magazine, or anything by Jimi Hendrix

 **AN:** The reviews have been awesome guys, thank you. I know I don't say it often enough, but they have been amazing, and you are amazing, and I'm glad everyone has been enjoying the fic. 

______________________________________

Kagome was clicking away at her computer, looking from a book she had gotten from the library to her screen, brow furrowed in thought and lip between her teeth. Sesshoumaru was working on something on his own laptop, although he had an air of ease that she lacked, had she been noticing, which she hadn't.

Her phone went off and she ignored it, fingers flying over the keys as she put down her thoughts, hoping to corral them into some form of semblance later that day. The ringing stopped and started again immediately.

At first she tried to ignore it, had almost succeeded when she felt something bearing down on her. Looking up from her screen she saw Sesshoumaru staring at her pointedly, the look an almost physical sensation. It was disapproving.

“Fine,” She muttered, opening her phone and hitting the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Kagome?” Her mother's voice asked.

“Hi mom, what's up?”

“I was expecting you earlier, you didn't forget did you?” Nodoka's voice asked, concerned.

“Forget what?”

“Today is Souta's-”

“ **Birthday!** ” Kagome shouted, immediately laughing nervously to cover her mortification. “No mom, didn't forget, just got wrapped up in my presentation. I'll be there soon,” She promised, closing her phone before her mother had a chance to say anything and getting up, almost knocking the chair over as she ran for the stairs.

“Kagome?” Sesshoumaru called out.

“I have to go,” She shouted. “I need to get Souta a present and get to the shrine!”

Because, truth be told, she had forgotten. After the peace proceeding their vacation, she had spent several days wrapping herself up in her essay and trying to make up for the time she had lost. While she would never regret her vacation, and the closeness that seemed to have deepened between her and Sesshoumaru because of it, she wasn't going to let the coveted assistant position slip through her fingers either.

“Would you like help?” He asked as she ran back downstairs, purse on her shoulder.

“Really?” She asked, looking hopeful. If she timed everything correctly, she could be at the shrine within the hour, present in hand and pretending like she was in fact, a good older sister, and not a bad one that forgot important dates like birthdays.

“Are you comfortable in the car?”

“Anything to get us through this faster. I don't even know what to get him,” She mumbled, flushing brightly.

“He's a musician, correct?”

That's not exactly what Kagome would have called her brother. She wondered if he was still stuck on becoming a rock star or if he had given up on the band.

“Maybe?”

Sesshoumaru didn't look entirely pleased with her hesitation.

“Is there anything else he enjoys?” He asked as they walked down the hall wand waited for the elevator.

Girls, video games, girls, and...Girls again.

She shrugged, not wanting to tell her roommate that her little brother was a girl crazy chick magnet. Souta had more dates in a week than she'd had...Possibly ever.

“Reading, games, sports?” He tried as they rode the elevator down.

“He hates reading, he plays some video games, but I have no idea what he has, and the only sport he's ever liked is soccer, and he hasn't played since he broke his ankle.”

“What kind of music does he like?”

She had no idea.

“Loud?” She finally ventured to guess.

Sesshoumaru gave her a hard stare.

“What?” She demanded, putting her hands in front of her defensively. “He's into the thrashy, loud, annoying kind of music. I have no idea.”

“It's appalling how little you know about your own brother,” Sesshoumaru pointed out as they walked into the parking garage.

“He's a teenager!” Kagome defended hotly. “No one knows anything about teenagers, especially not their family!”

“Did your mother know so little about you as a teenager?” He asked as they got in and he started the car.

“Well, sort of,” She hedged. “She knew I was traveling the past, but it's not like I told her that I was facing down psychotic hanyou and youkai trying to kill me or mate me or whatever else they had planned. She'd have never let me go back.”

“But your brother-”

“Is a teenager claiming to be a musician. And a boy. He won't talk to women about what's going on. He might talk to grandpa if grandpa wasn't so-”

“Old fashioned?” Sesshoumaru supplied as she groped for the word.

“Yeah. I don't know, the band seemed really important to him. It's all I really know about him other than that his grades are slipping and he can still be an obnoxious twerp when he wants to be.”

“What instrument does he play?”

“Guitar.”

“I might have an idea,” Sesshoumaru sighed as he drove through Tokyo traffic.

“Really?” Kagome asked, hope beginning to blossom.

“Really,” he chuckled.

When they stopped in front of a bookstore she grew confused, but he remained silent and she followed him inside. He paused briefly at the registers and asked for the music section and took her hand, going in the direction they had been pointed in. She watched him scan shelves, a look of concentration pinching his brow.

“What are you looking for?” She asked as he perused the three shelves.

“They don't have any,” He muttered, obviously disappointed. “We can try another one.”

“For what?” She asked as he led her out, ignoring the 'come again' that echoed behind them.

“Guitar tab books,” He explained, getting back in the car. She hopped in, more confused than when she had walked into the bookstore.

“What?”

“They are music books for guitars.”

That was...Absolutely brilliant. She wished she had known what they were sooner, it would have made shopping for her brother simpler. Sesshoumaru pulled smoothly into traffic and accelerated.

The next bookstore didn't have anything but basic books, nothing her brother would find exciting and might even insult him, considering he'd been playing for a few years. Sesshoumaru's aura of impatience grew as her frustration became more apparent. The store after that didn't have a music section at all, and Kagome was ready to throw her hands in the air and give up when he made a relieved sound.

“What?”

“Music store, come on.”

He almost dragged her into the music store and walked directly to the walls of books. Music books of all sorts were sorted by instrument, and she dragged her finger over titles, not recognizing anything presented. Most of them were for different bands, and she had no way of knowing what kind of music was what.

“Excuse me,” Sesshoumaru said, getting the attention of the be ringed, pierced teenager behind the counter. “We're looking for guitar tab books.”

“You're looking at them,” The teenager said in a bored, apathetic voice, not looking up from the magazine he was reading.

“What would you get for a sixteen year old boy into rock music?” Kagome asked, desperate despite the teenager's attitude. “It's my brother's birthday and I don't want to get him something he'll hate.”

“The Jimi Hendrix set came out, has a dvd to help him train. The Guitar Magazine tab books also have dvd trainers.”

“He's been playing for years.”

“Then he'll like those, they're new.”

She ignored the teenager's bored tone and grabbed both, shifting her purse on her shoulder and slapping the books on the counter, hoping she hadn't damaged the dvds in her haste. The teenager took his time ringing them up, and she would swear he was cursing them in his head. He looked almost angry at their presence, and she resisted the urge to grab the hoop in his ear between her fingers and begin shouting at him.

When they had finished she refused to offer of the bag and snatched the receipt, her sense of urgency only growing worse as they ran back to the car. She had never seen Sesshoumaru run before, and she realized that he wanted her to get to her brother on time.

“Thank you again,” She said, dropping into the car and looking at the books.

“Do we need to get a bag for them, and a card?”

She felt irrationally pleased by his use of 'we'. With a stern mental reprimand she shoved that random, ephemeral thought out of her brain and looked down at the books again.

“Probably,” She admitted, haltingly. She didn't want to take more time to get to her mother's, but she also knew showing up with the gifts not wrapped and a card would look like she had bought the items on the fly. Which she had, but she really didn't want her family to know that.

“There's a paper store nearby,” Sesshoumaru said, looking down at his phone and closing it before pulling out into traffic again. Kagome peeled the price tags off of the books cleanly, thanking whatever gods were watching over her that things were finally beginning to go her way.

They were staring at the array of birthday bags and tissue paper, unsure of what to get without insulting her brother's dignity, when her phone rang. She opened it absently, almost dropping it when her mother's frustrated voice came through, not even waiting for a greeting.

“Kagome, we're about to cut the cake. Where are you?”

“I'm umm, I'm in traffic,” She offered. “Be there soon.”

With that she slammed the phone shut and looked at Sesshoumaru, who looked at her with an arched brow.

“White lies,” She muttered, reaching for a plain blue bag and green tissue paper.

“I shall remember that if you ever tell me you're stuck in traffic.”

It sounded suspiciously like a warning.

Quickly paying for the items she walked at a quick clip back out to the car. Sesshoumaru seemed determined to get her there quickly, driving on the fast side of the speed limit and using his GPS to find traffic free areas. It would have been nerve wracking had she not been wrapping the books in layers of tissue paper and cursing when an edge tore. Giving up the ghost she put them in the bag and crinkled more layers of tissue paper, shoving them down into the bag in what she hoped was an artful manner.

By the time he pulled into the parking lot near her home she was unbuckled from her seat belt and bolting out of the car, slamming the door carelessly behind her. He caught up to her easily, and feeling like he was slowing her down, which was absurd, but she was panicking, she grabbed his hand.

“Hurry up,” She commanded him.

And then he was carrying her in his arms up the stairs as if she weighed nothing, taking them gracefully. And quickly. She'd forgotten how fast he could be. When they reached the top he sat her down and began striding for the house. She had to jog to keep up, wanting to stick her tongue out but knowing the consequences.

“We're here,” She called out as they walked inside, slipping off their shoes.

“We?” Nodoka asked, stopping when she saw Sesshoumaru. A smile lit on her features and she beckoned for them to join her. When they walked into the living room, where Souta and his friends all lounged on the couch and floor eating ice cream and cake, joking rambunctiously.

“Hey sis! Sesshoumaru!” He said by way of greeting before his eyes lit on the bag. Kagome handed it over, holding her breath.

And released it when he began exclaiming over the books, eyes wide with excitement. His friends admired it, telling him how lucky he was to have such a cool sister.

Kagome cast a grateful look in Sesshoumaru's direction, and he merely nodded, allowing her to take credit.  


	46. Workaholic's Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Workaholics Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

 **AN:** Your guy's responses to the last chapter were fantastic. I loved hearing the other people are either the Kagome or the Souta, and generally with a sense of good fun about it.

______________________

Kagome was positive, without any doubt, that the world was out to get her. Eri had called, trying to wheedle her into going shopping, which she had to shoot down despite her -overwhelming- urge to give in, if just to get away from the essay sitting in front of her. Shippou had come in, asking her if she could model for a sculpture, and Kirara had decided that her laptop keyboard made a wonderful, warm bed. The mistakes that had to be corrected had been endless, and she'd almost thrown the laptop at the window, hoping that it would shatter the glass and fall to it's death below. The crunch of the plastic had echoed in her ears, a vivid fantasy to combat her frustration.

But she hadn't done it, and now she was staring at the document blankly.

She could find no errors. Not a single typo, not one single incorrect date. It was as perfect as it was going to be. At least she hoped so. She'd worked as hard on it as she had been working on her thesis. Possibly more so. Probably more so.

The front door opened and Sesshoumaru walked in, closing it behind him and dropping his suit jacket and briefcase on the couch. The bracelet followed, not that she noticed.

“Looking for the answers to life's great mysteries?” He asked quietly as he walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and rifling through the contents.

“I'm done. I think.”

“I should hope so, you've been working at it since you got back.”

“You think if I turn it in a couple of days early he'll look at it more favorably? Like I can get things done ahead of schedule?” She asked, voice cracking a bit in her ambivalence. She didn't want to look like she was brown nosing or trying to appear pushy by turning it in early, but what if it looked better that she could turn it in early?

Sesshoumaru closed the door and leaned against the counter, arms crossing. He looked...Unhappy, although it was subtle aside from his crossed arms.

“Will you be working like this as a TA?” He asked.

“Maybe? I don't know. I doubt it. Maybe sometimes,” She hedged vaguely. She hadn't considered what would be happening beyond actually getting the position, only that it would help her further along her career path, and that anything that did that was a good thing. Anything. Even more work.

“We're going out,” He told her.

“But-”

“You said yourself it's finished. It's time to take a break.”

“But it might-”

“A break will help you think, give you fresh eyes.”

“Sesshoumaru-”

“Alpha,” He said, voice stony.

She really hated it when he pulled that card and in _that_ tone no less, and was about to say so when his eyes narrowed, as if guessing her thoughts.

“Fine,” She grumbled, making sure to save her document before exiting out and closing the laptop carefully. He didn't even bother changing, only going to grab the bracelet and slipping it on. Taking that as a sign that they weren't going anywhere special, she assumed her jeans and tank top were alright and followed him to the door, slipping her feet into sandals and walking outside. He locked up and she pressed the button for the elevator.

“You work too much,” He sighed, the sound full of regret. Had it been the old Sesshoumaru telling her that, she would have laughed. Actually, she might have assumed he was under some sort of spell or had lost his mind.

“After I get this essay done and get the position I should be fine,” She mumbled.

“One would hope.” It was said with a hint of censure, as if she had done something wrong by trying to further her career and goals, which she resented a little. More than a little. Hadn't she just gone on a vacation with him and the pack? Hadn't she taken the time out of her project to go to her little brother's birthday party? And wasn't she with him now?

Saying nothing, she tried to quell her resentment and allowed him to take her hand, pulling her out of the elevator and through the lobby. Once outside, she realized how oppressively hot and muggy it was, the humidity immediately making her feel sticky and even more surly.

“We're walking there?” She asked, realizing a second too late that her voice had sounded whiny and petulant. Childish.

“A walk will do you good,” He told her, voice stern. “Or was it my imagination that you signed up for a gym you haven't yet visited?”

She blushed hotly. She had signed up for a membership at a gym a few blocks away, but hadn't found the time to actually go, which wasn't good, considering membership costs.

“I've been busy-”

“Which is why a short walk will be good for you.”

She tried not to make a frustrated noise, although it did get caught in her throat, vibrating there. He noticed, she could tell, although he remained silent. Sighing, she allowed him to lead her along the sidewalks. Though she'd walked in the general vicinity of the building, she hadn't actually taken the time to explore the area fully, and when he took her further than she had gone into an area she didn't recognize, she cast a questioning glance up at him. Not that he bothered to explain where they were going or how long it was going to take to get there.

It wasn't until the sidewalk ended in a park, one empty of almost everyone except a few lone stragglers, that she realized they weren't going out to eat.

“Where are we going?” She asked quietly.

“Must there always be a destination?” He asked instead, not giving her an answer.

“Everyone is going somewhere,” She pointed out philosophically.

“True, although some choose more leisurely routes than others.”

She wondered if he was referring to their walk or to her working habits.

“Some people don't have the time to stroll.”

“Perhaps they miss the most,” He replied, and she knew he was no longer referring to their walk at all. She tried not to feel hurt by his observation. She was driven, and she had thought he respected that. All of her work, all of the late nights and stress were for a reason, were worth it.

Weren't they?

That question stopped her short in as much a literal sense as an emotional one.

Sesshoumaru stopped, turning to look back at her. What had been neutral solemness turned to concern.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” She mumbled, blushing. “Just, maybe I needed a break more than I thought.”

He nodded in understanding, extending his arm in invitation. She stepped forward, linked her arm through his, and leaned against him.

“There's a little bistro on the other side of the park,” He finally said as they followed the sidewalk.

“Sounds delicious,” She answered, with complete honesty.

They ordered simple pastries to go and went back outside, despite the heat. They ate in silence, walking the myriad paths cut through the dark park, lit by scattered lamps, and after they finished Sesshoumaru pocketed the napkins, pulling out the bottle of water he had gotten at the bistro. It was cold, the bottle sweaty as he offered it to her, and Kagome savored the chill that swept down her throat and through her chest before handing the bottle back to him.

And when they finally got back to the apartment, she ignored her laptop completely in favor of the new volume of poetry she'd bought days before, left untouched until now, on the couch. Sesshoumaru said nothing, but he poured them both a glass of wine and sat across from her, opening up a book of his own.

When she looked at him, she could have sworn he was smiling, although it was so soft, so subtle, it could have been a simple trick of the light.


	47. Cheer Up The Lonely Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Cheer Up The Lonely Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by Rumi

 ___________________________________

When Sesshoumaru walked in that afternoon, she was staring at her computer screen, eyes burning. Logically, Kagome knew she shouldn't feel humiliated or embarrassed, but she did. The words, however politely worded, were still strung together to form a rejection.

“Is everything alright?” Sesshoumaru asked quietly.

“I didn't get it,” She whimpered quietly, feeling ready to burst into tears. Which was foolish, because plenty of people had applied for the position, and not getting it didn't mean that her work was substandard in any way. But she'd spent the last two hours trying to figure out what had been wrong with her essay, what had been less than what someone else could have provided.

“I'm sorry,” He finally said, coming to take a seat next to her. His voice reflected genuine regret, and despite his dislike of her work habits, she knew that he was sorry.

“I-I don't understand,” She sighed, the words trembling despite her attempts to keep her emotions from leaking into her voice. “My essay was perfect, it was well researched, everything was cited-”

Sesshoumaru's clawed hand settled over her own, warm and reassuring, the sensation unexpected enough that it pushed back the tears, making her eyes sting.

“I have no doubt that your essay was anything less than perfect,” He told her quietly. “But it was not just about the essay, Kagome. Perhaps he felt someone else more ready, more geared towards being an assistant. It was not a mark against you, I am sure.”

She wanted to believe that, but after the politely -damningly so- written rejection, she couldn't help but feel that she had failed in some way, that she had been foolish to attempt to gain the position at all.

“Kagome, you worked hard-”

“And it wasn't enough,” She sniffed, dropping her gaze down to her lap.

“It was,” He said firmly. “You are an exceptional student and an intelligent human being. But your professor might feel that you either were not ready for such a position, or that someone else, like you, had been turned down before and deserved the chance.”

“I guess,” She sighed, the idea, once pointed out to her, making her feel slightly better. She had imagined a hundred other scenarios, most of them casting her professor and the student that had been granted the position in a less than favorable light.

“This is not the first opportunity that has come to you, and it will not be the last,” He reminded her.

“What if I mess those up too?”

He made a frustrated sound, one of the few he had ever made, and she looked up at him again, surprised by the conflict present in his eyes.

“If you insist on wallowing I will be forced to tell Shippou and Souten that you need cheering up.”

She could feel the blood draining from her face at the thought of the two youkai knowing that she was not only depressed, but why. Their attempts to cheer her up would probably be more frightening than anything Sesshoumaru could subject her to, if by no other virtue than the fact that they would be too helpful and too determinedly cheerful, which would probably only make the whole thing worse.

Not to mention utterly mortifying.

“Fine,” She sighed, pulling her hand away and leaning back in her chair, both hands rubbing her face and running through her hair. “What do you suggest?”

“There's the typical college answer, which is to get drunk and forget.”

“Call me crazy, but getting blindingly drunk just doesn't sound fun right now.”

“I'm glad. Shopping?”

“I sort of hate people at the moment.”

“A walk.”

“People again.”

“A movie.”

“Maybe.”

“A picnic.”

She dropped her hands to her lap and looked back at him, unsure if he was joking or if he had seriously suggested a picnic.

He looked serious.

“A picnic?” She asked cautiously, wondering what had happened to Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru did many things, but picnicking just...Didn't fit.

“If it would get your mind off of this,” He answered honestly.

“I don't know Sesshoumaru, going out-”

“Is a wonderful idea,” He interrupted.

“You're about to pull rank again, aren't you?” She demanded sourly.

His unwavering stare gave her the answer.

“Fine. Let me go get dressed in something besides pajamas.”

“Smart girl.”

“Insufferable inu,” She muttered as she walked upstairs, leaving her laptop behind. She didn't particularly want to look at it anymore, and the further away she got from it, the more the idea of a picnic appealed.

By the time she had changed into a pair of shorts and a different shirt she felt agreeable enough to grab a book from her shelf and putting it in her totebag, ignoring her purse completely and shouldering the tote.

Sesshoumaru was making sandwiches when she got back downstairs, his dress shirt partially unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. She watched him work quickly, gracefully.

“Thank you,” She finally said, breaking the silence.

“There is nothing to thank me for,” He rebutted, putting both sandwiches in a tupperware container and handing it to her, following that with two bottles of water from the fridge.

“Humble? Sesshoumaru?” She asked after a long pause, pitching her voice to imitate disbelief. “What's next? Inu Yasha learning how to cook, Shippou renouncing pranks, Souten-”

“Enough,” He rumbled quietly. “It is merely my duty as-”

“An alpha, I know,” She sighed.

“As a friend,” He corrected. “To distract you from bad news.”

She paused. They normally used the title alpha in an almost facetious manner, and though she knew they were friends, best friends, as well as being roommates and packmates, she couldn't remember the last time, if ever, that he had told her she was his friend.

“Still, thank you,” She told him, smiling.

They walked to the park nearby, which, in the light of the afternoon sun, was more alive, filled with people enjoying the unseasonably cool day. A breeze pushed at her hair, and she made a frustrated noise, pushing it back behind her ears. Ever since she had allowed the stylist to cut it, she hadn't been able to keep all of it back in a ponytail, and errant strands were determined to annoy her. While the cut had given her a more mature appearance and she had been treated somewhat differently than before, she often questioned whether it was actually worth the trouble.

Kagome picked a tree to lean against and pulled out the tupperware container and her book. They ate quietly, and it wasn't until the container was back in her bag that she fully relaxed, leaning against the tree and taking a deep gulp of water that she opened the book.

“You are reading more of his poetry.”

“Hnn,” She said, flipping to where she had left off.

When he leaned down and lay his head in her lap she paused, lifting her book so that she could look down at him. His eyes were closed and he looked content, peaceful. Unwilling to disturb that peace she went back to flipping through her book, glad that it hid her face, and more importantly, her blush. His hair was soft on her thighs and she could feel it tickling lightly as the breeze pushed against it.

“Perhaps you could read aloud,” He suggested quietly.

“When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to speak of. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn't make sense,” She read, voice even despite the realization that the poem could easily be construed as something she had intentionally picked, when it had merely been the next one to read. But Sesshoumaru said nothing, and she didn't dare look down at him.

Instead she continued to read, pausing now and again to take sips from her bottle of water. But when the shadows began to grow, stretching over them, she closed the book and put it back in her tote. Sesshoumaru did not move from his position, and she wondered if, by some miracle, he had fallen asleep.

She took the moment to examine him. It wasn't often that he was so relaxed, so lost within himself. Not that he wouldn't spring to action in a moment, she knew better than to assume he was that far gone. But his head was heavy on her legs, his fingers laced loosely on his chest and one leg stretched out, the other bent, foot braced on the ground. Careless, oblivious grace.

Beneath the dark haze that the disguise was, she saw him, saw the pale skin and white hair, the stripes and moon.

He was beautiful.

Her finger traced the place where his moon was, a sad smile on her lips. Her beautiful best friend, and the one person she could trust with almost anything.

Dark eyes opened lazily, and she couldn't help but wish for the familiar gold, the myriad shades of amber and copper flecks only hinting at the truth.

“Thank you,” He murmured quietly.

“For?” She asked.

“It will help to remember when I am gone.”

“Gone?” She asked, finger stilling and dropping away from his forehead.

“A council meeting. I leave tonight.”

“I didn't know there was one.”

“A representative died recently, from Britain. We must examine candidates.”

“I didn't realize this-”

“This was much needed,” He told her, as if guessing her sudden guilt. “I will be gone for a week, perhaps more. It will help.”

“How?” She asked, confused.

“A voice to keep the loneliness as bay.”

She smiled down at him, knowing that despite the fact that he would be gone, the day would help her from being lonely as well.

 ___________________________________

AN: The poem Kagome reads is Out Beyond Ideas by Rumi. 


	48. Pandemonium Day

 ___________________________________

Kagome looked around the apartment, the sun shining warmly in through the windows and Kirara napping lazily on a sofa.

Sesshoumaru had been gone for a few days, and Souten and Shippou had left for Europe the day before, for an art showing of Souten's. Which left her completely, utterly alone, except for Kirara.

“You won't judge me, right?” Kagome asked. A red eye opened lazily before closing again. She almost felt bad for what she was about to do, but Kirara wouldn't mind, at least she hoped not. Walking over to the hidden cd player, she opened the cabinet and popped in a disk, turning the knob on the volume up to high.

Kirara jumped when the music began to blast, but quickly calmed, watching as Kagome shimmied out of her pants, tossing them on the couch as the music, music she would never have admitted listening to to anyone, not even Sesshoumaru, began to blast. The bouncy beat made her wriggle her hips and bounce on the balls of her feet as she tugged her shirt off, tossing it in the general vicinity of the pants before she stretched and looked around.

Windows surrounded her, but no one could see her. The sun was warm, the perfect temperature as it struck her skin. A giddy sort of glee settled over her as she ran over to one of the other windows. Unless someone had high powered binoculars -doubtful- and knew to look for her -impossible- she was free to dance in her underwear, something she hadn't done since before moving out of her old apartment, and never with the shades up. With the pack gone for the next few days, she was free to be as silly and, well, free, as she pleased without any worry of someone walking in or calling or needing to come over, except Eri, and she highly doubted her friend would raise a brow at her antics. She might even join her.

“Just us girls here today,” Kagome said firmly, still bouncing and wiggling.

The song on the cd changed, moving to an upbeat bouncy number that made her want to sing. So she did. And dance, which she did, if her movements could be called dancing. She emulated a tango badly, mixing it with dance moves she had seen in movies and at the few parties she had attended, moving with the music as she opened the fridge and began setting out items to cook.

Cooking had also been forbidden by Sesshoumaru, but she was only going to bake something, not try for the stove top, which was still a slightly intimidating prospect. Kirara joined her, dancing around her feet and mewling happily. Kagome laughed, a carefree laugh, and mixed the items together, going from one foot to the other as she spun.

The beat bopped, rolled, thrummed and she sang the lyrics at the top of her lungs, not caring in the least when she missed the notes by a mile, tossing her head and shimmying her hips. Chicken and vegetables went into a baking pan, expertly chopped, and she only half paid attention to the herbs she used, experimenting with whatever she pulled out of the cabinet and smelled right.

When it went in to bake she set the timer and spun several times on the hardwood floor, realizing she was still in her socks. Slipping them off, she balled them up and threw them at her pants and shirt. They landed several feet away in the living room and she used her new found grip to hop and jump and pogo, hands in the air over her head as she walked over to the windows.

Gloating as she looked down at the world, she rolled her hips and waved her arms, not caring if she looked good as she did it, but feeling smug because unlike most people in Tokyo, possibly the world, she could dance in her underwear and only be flashing the sky. Tossing her hair again, she listened to the voice of the musician as he belted out a ballad about a girl he loved. The tempo slowed and she spun on her feet, moving closer to the open space of the kitchen.

Dancing like she had a partner, a partner that had no toes to crush and a rhythm as off as her own, she smiled, sang, and soaked up the warmth, understanding for the first time why cats found a beam and curled up in it. Closing her eyes she let another carefree laugh slip out, tipping her body back in a faux dip, going as far as she could without falling over.

Bowing to her imaginary partner she spun on her heel, starting singing with the musician about beautiful lips...

And saw her roommate staring at her, eyes wide in shock.

There was a moment. It was a moment where they were both frozen, minds blank as they stared at each other. The clock, had they had one that ticked, would have slowed and thumped more loudly than the music as she felt the blood drain from her face and then rush back so quickly she was sure she had popped a vein or two.

It crossed her mind that she was wearing her 'girly' underthings, ones she'd bought, ironically, to feel a bit more mature, a bit sexier for herself.

She did not feel mature, and she certainly didn't feel like she was sexy at the moment.

Darting behind the counter she bent at the knees, hiding herself behind the cabinets. The top of her head didn't go below it however, as if breaking their stare would somehow result in something even more catastrophic, so she peeked over the edge, hands gripping the stone counter top.

Sesshoumaru turned, and, his whole body rigid, reflecting in his step, he walked for the stairs and up them, to his room. The door closed behind him.

He hadn't said a word.

He'd looked...

Mortified.

“Oh god,” She groaned, banging her head into the cabinet.

She was about to make a break for the stairs when the timer on the stove went off. Making an exasperated sound she looked around and, seeing that he was making no move to come out of his room, went and pulled the baking dish from the stove and turned it off, setting it on the hotplate on the counter.

“Kirara, let it cool down, but it's all yours,” She whispered, looking around furtively.

She didn't bother to get her clothes or to turn off the music before she was up the stairs and slamming the door to her room, face covering her hands as she leaned against the door and slid down, unsure if she would ever be able to face her roommate again.

The music played all night.

  ___________________________________

AN: I would also like to note that is is National Nude Day. Just saying.  And to those who choose to play, have fun.


	49. Moon Day

Kagome stared up at the moon, fingers on the pendant she'd worn every day since Sesshoumaru had first clasped it around her neck. The stone crescent mimicked it's shape perfectly, and she couldn't help but make the comparison to Sesshoumaru's marking.

Sesshoumaru, who had spoken to her civilly, politely, for the past few days, when they had seen each other at all. Not that she'd been any better, in fact, she'd been a great deal worse, her tongue tying itself in knots every time he came around so that she barely spoke at all. What had come out those few times had been garbled and rushed, stammered as she made a beeline for her room. Or the laundry room. Any room but the one that he was in.

Far worse than the bathtub incident, she had been fully awake and aware of him seeing her, and she'd seen the look of...Well, terror was all she could think to call it. If she'd thought about it in a more humorous light, she was sure that no one had ever achieved making him look like that, and it would have felt like a grand accomplishment.

Except he'd seen her in skimpy, lacy underthings acting like a moron. Which meant there was no achievement, only abject humiliation. It was only an ironic bonus that she'd managed to sink two ships with one missile.

Sighing heavily, not for the first time, she went and sat on the couch, looking at the half empty bottle of wine. Sesshoumaru was late again, and she was beginning to wonder if that was his way of dealing with difficulties. He avoided them.

But the front door opened and he walked in, briefcase tucked under his arm and a heavy brown paper bag in hand. Kagome was beginning to wonder if she could somehow summon him magically by just wondering if he was avoiding her.

“Hi,” She greeted quietly.

“Hello,” He replied quietly, pausing. 

“I'm sorry about the other day,” She blurted, flushing. “I didn't think you were going to be home for a few more days and I was being stupid and-”

“It's fine,” He interrupted. She could barely see it, but she would swear a light blush was dusting his cheeks. “You live here, and you should feel free to be comfortable. It was just...”

Horrifying? Terrible? Humiliating? Shocking? Disgusting?

She flinched at the adjectives crowding her brain.

“Surprising. But it's alright.”

“Oh. I'll umm, try to pay more attention from now on, your aura-”

“It is alright,” He said firmly, repeating himself, then relaxed. “I bought dinner.”

An olive branch, one she wasn't going to refuse. Hopefully it would be as easy as forgetting, or at least getting past, the idea of him seeing her naked near a shunga book.

“I'll get down some plates,” She offered. He nodded, going and setting the bag on the counter before walking for the stairs. Worried that he was going to let her eat alone she opened her mouth, not even sure what she would say but wanting to say _something_.

“I'll be back in a moment,” He promised quietly. She nodded, relaxing and going to the cabinet to get two plates down. Opening the bag she saw that he'd bought dinner from one of their favorite italian restaurants and made quick work of putting the contents, seafood alfredo, on them.

She had just finished when Sesshoumaru walked into the kitchen and she looked up, readying a question about his day when her jaw, open, refused to close.

He was in his pajama pants.

And nothing else.

“Which bottle did you open?” He asked, seemingly oblivious to her shock.

“The '87 from California,” She mumbled, looking from his bared chest back to the plates.

Red wine didn't go with alfredo or seafood, but she wasn't going to complain when he walked over to the living room and grabbed her glass and the bottle and came back to the kitchen, pouring more into her glass and setting it on the counter before he reached for another glass and poured the last of the bottle into it.

She sat on one of the bar stools at the elevated counter, and he elected to stand. They'd eaten in the kitchen before, although it was rare.

“Have I been keeping you from- from,” She started, tongue tying itself into a knot. Knowing he would understand, she opted to hide her blush behind her wineglass, taking a healthy swallow when a smirk tilted his lips.

“I worried about making you uncomfortable. However-”

He wasn't going to refer to the incident the other day was he? She prayed he wouldn't.

“It appears that both of us have been avoiding our own comfort when I doubt either of us would care what the other wears.”

Her first thought was that she cared. She cared quite a bit in fact, because if he was going to be walking around shirtless, she was going to be distracted. Very much so. And she knew she wouldn't be able to walk around in her underwear in the presence of anyone, much less a very shirtless him.

The next thought was that his comment stung, more than it should perhaps. Her display, no matter how unintentional, had not affected him. And though she knew it shouldn't, that they were friends and had seen each other in bathing suits and that she shouldn't want him to be affected, she did. Just a little.

“Fair enough,” She mumbled.

“You're uncomfortable,” He observed before taking another sip of wine.

“I'm not,” She defended.

The look he gave her over his wineglass said he clearly didn't believe her.

“Oh, fine,” She muttered, feigning exasperation when really she felt...Unbalanced. And a little afraid. “Be right back.” Slipping off of the bar stool she walked upstairs and into her room. After closing the door she considered her options.

She could go downstairs in her underwear. That would prove that she wasn't uncomfortable. But she couldn't do it. Not only would it be obvious that she was uncomfortable, but underwear was less than what he was wearing. Her other option, to go back downstairs in her normal clothes, would be an admission of discomfort as well, and even if she wasn't used to seeing him shirtless, he apparently preferred that to walking around fully clothed, and she didn't want him changing his habits to accommodate her.

“Happy medium,” She mumbled quietly, walking over to her dresser and pulling open a drawer.

If only it was that easy.

When she walked back downstairs, she felt she had struck a sort of happy medium. Her bra was a plain gray, nothing that could ever be considered sexual, and she was wearing a pair of her soft pajama shorts, a light blue that, though short, could also never be considered sexy.

Kagome forced herself to remember that it covered more than her bikini had.

She got back on the bar stool and took a fortifying gulp from her glass of wine, draining it, and continued eating in silence.

“How was work?” She asked conversationally as he poured another glass of wine for them both from a newly opened bottle. If anything, she was determined to pretend that it was perfectly normal, and why shouldn't it be? They had lived together for months, had shared smaller spaces than the apartment itself, and- And everything she tried to think to stave off the strangeness wasn't helping. At all.

“Simple enough. I'm beginning a new project for the firm. It will be in Sapporo. I will have to travel to meet with our clients, perhaps stay there after the plans are finalized as construction begins.”

“How long will that take?” She asked, brow furrowing. She didn't like the idea of him leaving for an extended period of time, liked the thought of living alone even less.

“I don't know,” He admitted. “The variables are endless.”

“The great Sesshoumaru doesn't know something?” She asked, eyes widening as she slapped her hand to her chest. “Be still my beating heart!”

He gave her a flat look before finishing his pasta and rinsing off his plate.

“Brat.”

“Jerk,” She retorted, finishing her plate and handing it to him. He rinsed and put it in the dishwasher, then leaned against the counter and took another sip of wine.

“Would you like to come with me?” He asked, voice neutral.

“Where?” She asked, not understanding the question.

“To Sapporo.”

“I might be in school,” She pointed out.

“You could take a quarter off.”

“And do nothing while you work all day? I'd go crazy,” She laughed.

“You could work on a book. Publish or die, wasn't that what you said?” He reminded her.

“I'm not ready yet,” She told him, shrugging. “I wouldn't know what to write on.”

“You could always write your own. Poetry that is.”

“I'm no good at that, just analyzing other people's. Those who can't, teach. And those who can't teach, critique.”

He looked doubtful but said nothing. She followed him over to the living room, and, conscious again of their state of dress, especially without the counter to separate them, she took another deep gulp of her wine.

Her discomfort was furthered when he sat next to her on the couch and laid across it, his head settling in her lap. She forced herself not to tense up and accept the contact. It was nothing new, he'd lain across her lap before, and she had been wearing shorts then too. Her stomach hadn't been bared, and he hadn't been shirtless, but they'd done it.

'Stop being so immature,' She growled in her head. It didn't stop her from finishing the glass of wine and setting it down on the stand and grabbing on of the books there. It was one of his novels, and once opened, she tried to read it and pretend that she was _not_ having a mental spazz attack.

After two minutes of reading the first page, she left behind her embarrassment for a spazz attack of another kind.

“Something funny?” He asked. She tried not to laugh, but couldn't help herself.

“How do you read these?” She asked, moving the book so she could look down at him.

“I enjoy them.”

“They're awful.”

His eyes flicked to the title and then back to her.

“That is one of my favorites.”

“I caught the scent of night, the darkness flavoring-” She couldn't go on reading the first line, her attempt at a serious face cracking as she began laughing uncontrollably.

Sesshoumaru got up and walked over to the cabinet, and two minutes later the cd that she had forgotten in the player days before began to play.

“How do you listen to this?” He asked, sitting back down and resuming his position, head on her lap.

“It's bouncy. I like it,” She defended, trying not to remember when he had found out she liked the song.

“It sounds like a twelve year old boy is singing.”

“And this sounds like an angsty teenager wrote it,” She retorted, waving the book.

“Everyone has their own tastes.”

“Music snob.”

“Literature snob.”

She rolled her eyes and sat the book back down on the table, tipping her head back. The moon was in full view again, and when Sesshoumaru shifted to get more comfortable, she looked down at his forehead.

“What does it mean?” She asked quietly.

“What does what mean?” His eyes were closed.

“Your moon. Your mother has it too, right? Is it genetic?”

Gold eyes opened, darkened to deep amber.

“It is a sign of her family line, so yes, I suppose it is genetic in that way, but we are given our makrs when we reach our hundredth year.”

“I suppose I always thought you were born with them,” She admitted.

“If I had been, my marks would have been in place when my arm grew back,” He pointed out. “They are merely a mark of my matriarchal line, although it can be bestowed.”

“Bestowed?”

“Those accepted into the fold may wear it.”

“Like, magically?” She asked, slightly confused.

“It is tattooed on, although youki is involved, to keep it from fading and to attest to it's authenticity. Those of the blood wear it on their foreheads. Those accepted into the clan may choose to wear it where they please, although not on their face.”

“I didn't realize,” She murmured. “It's a big deal then, being accepted.”

“Once, but she and I are the last of that line by blood, and the only one I have ever known outside of her line to be granted the mark was my father. His mark was placed on his chest.”

“Her mate doesn't have it?”

“She was accepted into his pack, leaving her line behind. And she cannot bestow such a mark. Only the patriarch can.”

“So, technically you?”

He nodded quietly.

Kagome had the strangest urge to fiddle with her pendant again, wondering if, in some strange way, it had been something like the tattoo. Had she been accepted into that line, or had it been a simple gift because she had appreciated it's beauty? Her fingertips itched, and needing something to do with her hands suddenly, but not wanting to call attention to the necklace, she began tracing his moon, as she had done before.

“With the pack, I didn't realize your blood family was so small,” She finally said, wanting to break the silence. She wondered if the mark meant anything to him at all anymore, or if it was a reminder of a past that had faded into nothingness.

“Blood is rarely important,” He replied evenly.

“It used to be. To you,” She added.

“Many things change,” He murmured.

“True. I never thought we'd be like this when I first met you.”

“It could be because I tried to kill you,” He chuckled.

“Ha-ha,” She snorted. “You make it sound so simple and easy.”

“If it was I wouldn't have a roommate with horrible taste in music.”

“And I wouldn't have one with godawful taste in books.”

“Brat.”

“Jerk.”


	50. All Or Nothing Day

Convivial

By: The Hatter Theory

All Or Nothing Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by Ono No Komachi.

AN: The aforementioned song that keeps getting mentioned is any song you love listening and bopping to alone, but would be mortified if anyone else knew how much you loved it. I never intended there to be a specific song lol.

 _____________________________

A new mix cd played loudly as she danced through the kitchen, determined to surprise Sesshoumaru. Inu Yasha had mentioned that while his brother had never celebrated his birthday, he had been born in the summer. And, wanting to give Sesshoumaru something after everything he had done, she had, with the utmost care, made dinner. And not burned a single dish or cabinet.

They were short a plastic ladle, but she had been able to get the plastic off of the burner, and the lingering scent had easily been banished with the smell of the meat and herbs.

Glancing at the clock, she figured he would be home in perhaps another half hour, giving her plenty of time to get dressed and store the eggplant in the oven to keep warm and hide it until she was ready to put it on the plates. It wouldn't be gourmet, but it would look gourmet, and maybe even sound like it had been difficult.

Twisting her hips and arms, she did a shimmy of victory, fist pumping the air.

Only to feel Sesshoumaru's youki grow closer.

_Crap._

She looked around, not caring that he would see her in a sports bra and yoga pants, because they'd been growing -slightly- more comfortable with each other, and she had continued walking around with a bared stomach, perhaps as a defense against his bared chest. Not that it was working as well as she'd hoped, but there were moments she was able to pretend he was wearing a shirt and that she wasn't staring.

She was afraid he'd see his surprise.

The front door opened and she ran to the fridge, arms out to the sides in a childish attempt to block the kitchen. Too late she realized the position had the effect of pushing her chest out and tried to control the blush that felt ready to blossom into existence.

“You're not allowed in here,” She told him quickly.

“You've been playing in the kitchen without supervision,” He stated. He didn't seem mad, but he did look vaguely worried.

“It's not done yet.”

He looked ready to say something but stopped, his mouth closing. His only comment was to shrug and walk past her and to the stairs. Giving a relieved sigh, she turned back to the stove and looked at the timer. Fifty five minutes had passed, five less than the recipe had called for. Checking the directions again, she turned the burner off and carefully transplanted one of the eggplants to a plate and cut it in half. Testing the steaming rice she smiled.

It was done. And delicious.

Hoping to finish before he came back down, she put the other on a plate and cut it, then took a few springs of the mint she'd bought and carefully washed and placed them in what she hoped look like an artistic setting. Knowing Sesshoumaru had been trained as a chef was daunting enough, and she knew better than to expect a result like what he could do, but it tasted good, and looked decent enough, even if the sauce she drizzled lightly over it looked more splattered than lined.

She had just finished pouring two glasses on wine when he walked back downstairs. He'd taken off his bracelet and shirt and belt, but still wore his slacks.

“Am I allowed to come in?” He asked, brow raised.

“I was going to set the table,” She started.

“I like eating in the kitchen,” He said.

She shrugged. It was his surprise birthday present after all, although she hadn't realized he liked eating in the kitchen, and made note to do it more often.

“Sit,” She commanded.

He sat on a bar stool, eyes on the plates. She put one on the elevated counter and handed him a fork.

“Lamb and rice stuffed eggplant,” She declared.

“It smells wonderful,” He commented before taking a small bite.

He chewed.

She watched.

He smiled and hummed appreciatively.

She felt like falling over from the sheer weight of relief. That was a sound she had never, not once, heard him make. And it thrummed through her down to her toes. No matter what else happened, if his cake collapsed or the birthday candles caught fire to the apartment, that sound would make it worth it.

“This is delicious. You've done well. And no fires.”

“Jerk,” She huffed. “I make you an awesome dinner and you have to bring up fires.”

“Would you have preferred the re-hydrated youkai?” He asked archly.

“You could just be proud that I didn't burn anything,” She pointed out dryly, neglecting to mention the ladle. She could mention that later. Much later. Possibly never.

“I am proud of you, although you might live to regret it.”

“Oh?” She asked, taking the first bite and gloating a little. It was delicious, and the recipe be damned, she had added her own touches and was immensely proud of the fact that it _was_ delicious. And not the least bit burned.

“I might come to expect meals.”

“You'd actually let me play without supervision?”

“Sometimes.”

She sputtered.

He laughed, a full rich sound that made her blush and take a sip of her wine. They ate in relative silence, the only noises being that of appreciation and their forks tapping on the plate occasionally mixing with the music that had been playing. She had wanted to turn it off before he had arrived, even considered stepping out of the kitchen for a moment to cut off the player, but felt that leaving the kitchen was akin to leaving the dinner table, and rude. Not to mention she was enjoying watching him savor the dish she'd made, almost preening as he gave her a grateful look every few bites.

Once they had finished she poured them both another glass of wine and rinsed off the plates, putting them in the dishwasher before turning back to him.

“Close your eyes.”

“Is there a particular reason for this?”

“Would I ask if there wasn't?”

He closed his eyes.

She walked over to the fridge and pulled out the box she'd gotten from a local pastry shop after agonizing over the decision for almost an hour. Opening it and lifting the decadent cheesecake out, she rifled through the bag on the counter and pulled out the small box of tiny candles, trying to remember if she'd actually settled on a number. Opting to go with one, because she had no idea how many centuries he'd lived, she stuck it in the center of a mound of thing curls of chocolate and drizzled caramel and used the cheap plastic lighter to light it.

When she sat it in front of him, she stepped back, wondering if her idea hadn't been childish after all.

“You can look.”

He opened his eyes and looked down at the cake.

“Are we celebrating?”

“Inu Yasha said you were born in summer,” She commented quietly. “I figured out of everyone I know, you deserve a birthday.” She said the words so quickly it was a miracle they didn't tangle and end up a garbled mess, but he seemed to understand.

“I have never celebrated my birthday before,” He admitted quietly. “And Inu Yasha was correct, I only know that I was born in the summer.”

“Well,” She told him, flushing and feeling a bit silly, a bit embarrassed. “Blow out the candle and make a wish.”

He leaned forward and gently blew, the candle flame puttering out and smoke rising into the air.

“Thank you,” He murmured.

“You might not be saying that in a minute,” She warned, wanting to lift the strangely serious, solemn tension in the air.

“Should I be worried? It's not poisoned is it?” He joked.

“No, but I might be forced to do something drastic if you don't cut me a slice.”

He laughed again, and she realized that it was an addictive sound, a rare one, and that he'd done it twice in one day. She pulled down two small plates and got them both new forks, but when she reached for the knife he shook his head and grabbed one of the forks, taking a bite right from the cake. Giggling, she put the saucers back and took a bite from the cake, forced to lean over the counter.

The heavy chocolate mixed perfectly with the wine, and even if the cake itself looked like it had been scavenged from, bites taken from random spots, it was delicious and she knew Sesshoumaru was enjoying himself. Being such a small cake, it was completely gone before they both leaned back and put their forks on the tray it had come on.

“So what was your wish?” She finally asked, curious.

“I thought if you said it aloud it wouldn't come true.”

“It doesn't count if you tell your best friend,” She joked.

“Hnn. A dance.”

“A dance? Like, from a stripper?” She teased.

“From an woman oblivious to her audience.”

“So a stripper.”

He rolled his eyes, another unusual occurrence, and walked around the counter and into the kitchen itself, taking her hand and pulling her to him.

“You hate this music.”

“I can adapt.”

“Oh really?” She challenged, allowing him to spin her.

The song picked up it's pace, and they danced through the kitchen, a strange fusion of his technical dancing skills and her made up moves. It wasn't to say that it was graceful, because it wasn't. And she knew that she wasn't keeping rhythm, but he didn't seem to mind. She stepped on his toes, earning a pained grimace, and apologized profusely, and he called her clumsy, earning a huff that only made him laugh again.

She grew increasingly silly in an attempt to earn more laughter, and by the time the song ended she was breathless, cheeks flush from her exertions.

The next song wasn't quite so fast, but not quite slow either. He took both her hands and tried to show her one of the dances his friend had taught him, and she watched her feet, laughing and feeling far too cheerful to be embarrassed.

“You're intentionally making mistakes,” He accused.

“I'm not,” She defended, finally looking up from her feet. He was smiling, a real, genuine, rare smile. “I can't help it that your dances are so weird.”

“And yours aren't?” He chuckled.

She stuck her tongue out, tightening her grip on his hands so that he couldn't try to pinch it.

He leaned forward, teeth clicking together in an exaggerated mockery of snapping, nose almost touching hers. Her tongue slipped back into her mouth and she stopped, realizing she could feel his exhalations over her lips. Comfort and friendship aside, the widening of his eyes, almost imperceptible even with his proximity, mirrored her own, and she could feel the boundary, suddenly a very physical thing, that they had erected between them.

The world stilled, and his hands tightened a fraction, suddenly warm and vivid. The gold of his eyes deepened, swirled steadily, drawing her in.

“Though I go to you ceaselessly along dream paths, the sum of those trysts is less than a single glimpse granted in the waking world,” He murmured softly, mouth moving to brush against hers, the words vibrating over her lips and skin.

His lips were warm and soft, and he tasted like chocolate and wine and warm, liquid fire that burned her lips. Searingly hot, the tip of his tongue brushed against the seam, requested permission. In her dumb shock her mouth opened and granted access, the dizzy heat of him pressing against her. Only half aware of the counter at her back, she tilted her head, deepened the kiss.

Overwhelming and overwhelmed, she let him lead the kiss, felt his hands cupping her cheeks, threading through her hair as the softness of it grew harder, the request becoming longing hunger. Her hands smoothed up over his chest, felt his heartbeat thundering beneath her palm. His lips pulled away and she gasped in breath only to have his mouth slant over hers again, tongue sliding against her own and sending a thrill through her body. His body tensed, shuddered beneath her hands, a harsh breath exhaled from his nose and pulsing against her skin.

Fangs nipped her lip, and a groan vibrated against her teeth before he was pulling away, forehead pressed against hers as they struggled to breathe.

“Kagome,” He sighed, lips brushing against her own.

And the heat, the coiling tightness, shattered like ice, cutting through the breathless, heady drunkenness. Panic, as dizzying as his kiss, swamped her senses, threatened to choke her.

“I, I need to-” She stuttered, pushing at his chest. “I need to think. I'm sorry,” She finished in a whisper, watching him step back. Feeling like a deer that had sighted the hunter and been given only a moment to run, she slipped past him, ignoring the surprise and hurt that turned the hazy amber into cold gold.

Running up the stairs and into her room, she flinched as the door slammed shut, leaned against it, heart still thundering in her chest, threatening to beat out of it, rending flesh and bone. Something twisted painfully in her gut, overbearing guilt needling her senses.

The front door opened and closed loudly enough for her to hear, leaving her alone in the apartment to think.

Except she didn't really want to anymore.

 _____________________________

AN: I bet you hate me right now, don't you? Anyway, the poem is by Ono No Komachi, who created truly stunning work.

This marks the results of the Kiss Contest. Today, All Or Nothing Day, is July 26th. This day was chosen months and months and months ago for this, and I know you've all been waiting patiently. The bad news is, you'll have to wait a little longer for the resolution of this story. The good news is, you won't have to wait terribly long.


	51. Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

**Convivial**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Take Your Pants For A Walk Day**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

* * *

The city was loud and bustling and a clash of dissonant colors and scents. It was overwhelming and vivid and bright. The pavement beneath her feet thrummed and vibrated with the angry honking of horns and the pounding of thousands of feet. It was a living thing, something she had been aware of for years, but had only appreciated it when she needed it.

Except the sound and lights and colors were doing nothing to draw her in, to drown out her own thoughts.

The apartment had been too stifling, too small and too filled with memories to stay in. Even her own bed had been off limits, the memory of him reading to her, with her, too vivid to bear looking on. It was everything he had given her, and even if they had been bought with her own money, he was intrinsically woven in to each piece of furniture, the walls, the repaired door, the bathtub, the books. Nothing she had was free of his presence, and even though he had not returned by the time she had left, the sun just beginning to rise, she had needed to be out, to lose herself.

Except she wasn't. The longer she walked, feet hitting the pavement in rhythmic slaps, her rubber soles coming down forcefully, the more she thought about what had happened, what would happen.

She didn't want a relationship. She didn't want kisses or love or the complications that were inherent with both. A younger her, one still drunk on the magic of adventure and danger would have, but just as Sesshoumaru had changed, she had too. The adult her, the woman she had become, didn't have time for the messiness or the baggage. Her career stretched out in front of her, her life, free of the fights and hurts and arguments, and she had hoped to have a friend that understood that her goals were more important than kisses.

For Sesshoumaru of all people to kiss her was beyond comprehension. He knew her, had called her a friend. She had thought, had assumed, that he had known, had understood and maybe even respected her for putting her goals first and for not being like other females.

An angry, exasperated, hopeless sound erupted from her throat.

She tried asking herself what people she knew would do, but came up with answers that were at best illogical and at worst disastrous.

"What do I need to do?" She asked herself, rubbing her face. Her emotional upheaval had warded off exhaustion for only so long, and she could feel it creeping in, wrapping around her consciousness and blanketing her emotions little by little until her mind cleared. Her thoughts, suddenly orderly, crisp and defined, were a stark contrast to the growing blurriness of the world around her.

Each step took her closer to the apartment, closer to a confrontation.

Unless she fielded it, unless she figured out a way to put some distance between them, to let things cool down and to make him understand that whatever girlish, childish feelings she had would not control her or interrupt goals she had been tirelessly working towards for years.

And an idea struck, and even though she would have balked weeks before, even if it hurt to contemplate, it was the only choice.

Walking more quickly, wanting to get it out of the way, to get away and to begin living a normal life again, she ignored people that stepped aside and that she brushed past. Ignoring the voice in her head that told her she was making a mistake, the childish whisper that told her to think about what she was doing, she walked into the building and waited for the elevator, forcing herself to take deep breaths that didn't help in the least.

And when she stepped into the apartment, he was standing at the window, looking into the sky. He turned to look at her, his dress shirt untucked from his pants, the clothing he'd worn the night before. For once his expression, which had become so easy for her to decipher in the past months, was completely unreadable. What could have been reserve might have easily been hope, what seemed like neutrality could just as easily have been anger. Everything was blurry, haloed by wavering light.

The girlish part of her that believed in fairy tales almost stopped her, arguing against what she was about to do, trying to strangle the words as they formed on her lips.

The adult she was, that she was determined to be, forced her to say the words.

"I need to move out."

* * *

AN: Okay, I know. You all hate me. Fair deal.


	52. Mutt's Day

The building loomed, unapproachable and foreboding even in the cheery light of the day. Kagome sighed, rubbing her hand on her forehead. A headache, one that had been persistently, tenaciously present for the last few days, was beginning to force it's way past the aspirin she'd taken only an hour before. She knew it was from a lack of sleep. Visiting Eri had only confirmed that she looked less like a human being and more like one of the wraiths from the old stories. Not that she could do much about that either.

Resolving to take a shower and the over the counter sleeping medication Eri had recommended once she got back inside, she opened the door to the building and immediately felt it. Daring to look at the elevator, she saw her waiting, not that she had a name for her. That information had never actually been imparted, and it was far too late to ask.

Determined to keep a straight face, she walked forward, trying not to trudge as she had been, and waited patiently next to Sesshoumaru's mother and the disguised youkai standing next to her. Both were dressed impeccably in what Kagome had always considered a woman's power suit, pencil skirts and blazers with dress shirts. Maybe they were there on Council business.

The doors dinged open.

"Good evening."

Kagome hadn't been aware she was worthy of such pleasantries, and she tried to force down her defensiveness as quickly as it rose.

"Good evening," She said, stepping into the lift after the two youkai. Sesshoumaru's mother hit the button for the top floor, and Kagome reached forward to hit the button for the one below it.

"I have become aware that you and my son no longer inhabit the same dwelling."

It sounded like approval, and for the life of her, Kagome tried to remember that she was doing what was right for her and Sesshoumaru, and that she couldn't undo it to spite the female. Although how she had found out within days was disconcerting enough, and made Kagome wonder if he had spoken to his mother about her.

God, she hoped not. But stranger things had happened. Were happening, if she was being honest with herself. Sesshoumaru and his mother coming to terms would just be another bizarre happenstance in the comedy of errors her life had turned into.

"It's marvelous that you've finally recognized your place in the grand scheme of things. He's now able to focus on fulfilling his duty."

"He has many duties. I was unaware I interfered with any of them," Kagome deflected, trying and mostly succeeding at keeping the anger out of her voice. She stared ahead, at their distorted, hazy reflections in the steel panels of the doors.

"You are not so naïve, though you do try," The youkai said, the slash of red that was mouth her tilting, moving. Kagome was positive it was a smirk, but she wasn't going to turn her head to check. "It matters little. He is already taking the steps necessary to fulfill his obligations to the line."

"Sesshoumaru has always been admirable in fulfilling his obligations," She intoned, outlining their blurry reflections in an attempt to keep a straight face.

"Which is why I would like to introduce you to Toorima-Sama. She is aware of the nature of my son's pack, and is willing to accept it's-" Sesshoumaru's mother paused, and Kagome thought she saw the lines of red purse. "How shall I put this delicately? The lack of pedigree."

Kagome bristled but bit her tongue, her internal reaction to the insult drowning out what the youkai said as the doors opened. It wasn't until they closed and that she was inserting the key into the door that the full meaning of them came crashing down on her, pummeling her consciousness.

The key fell from nerveless, numbed fingers and her knees struck the carpet, the pain echoing but not reaching through to a mind that was spiraling, tightening, shattering around the youkai's insinuation.

A duty to his line. Toorima. Accepting the pack. Fulfilling his obligations.

"Oh," She whimpered, the tears already beginning to fall of their own volition as the truth swamped her awareness. The words ripped, tore through her until she felt raw, an open wound. They would already be upstairs, and talking. Sesshoumaru's mother was in his apartment with Toorima, and-And they were probably discussing arrangements.

On wooden legs she pushed herself up, grabbed her key, and walked into the unfamiliar apartment. Surreal and out of focus, the lines blurred together, her bag dropping to the floor without consideration to where it landed. The apartment wasn't so different from Sesshoumaru's, although it definitely had more of a masculine touch, with more reds and whites. The colors made the change all the more palpable. It wasn't _home_. The kitchen was all steel and granite, stocked with only the barest utensils. Just as well, since she couldn't force herself to eat much anyway, couldn't stand being in a kitchen for more than a minute or two.

She stumbled to the window, feeling like a masochist. Like the apartment, it wasn't so different, wasn't noticeably lower than the window above it. The view was the same. But she could tell the difference, hated looking out of the wide expanse of glass because she couldn't help thinking Sesshoumaru was looking out onto the city too. It was a childish fantasy that had drawn her to the windows, night after night.

But he probably wasn't at that moment. He was probably in his kitchen, preparing a meal for his guests. Or sitting at the table, maybe on the couch. But he wouldn't be staring out of the windows, sharing her view. She forced herself away from the window, movements automatic as she navigated the apartment and the stairs. Her shower likewise, was automatic. If the water was too hot or cold, she couldn't tell, couldn't remember the moment she stepped out and walked to the room where her bed had been moved to.

The sleeping pills stayed in her forgotten bag as she wrapped herself in the blanket she had shared with him. And even though she knew, logically, that it was all for the best, that he was doing what he wanted to, had maybe wanted to do all along, she allowed herself the questionable luxury of irrationality, and to regret.


	53. Simplify Your Life Week

"This is very sudden Higurashi," Her adviser ventured, looking concerned and ill at ease at the same time. "The school year hasn't properly started, and it is possible for you to still make the transition, it would be an abrupt change. Have you fully considered all of the ramifications?"

"I would have to find a new thesis adviser, or postpone my work," She declared quietly. "However, the program looks like something that could help give me a new perspective that might help."

"I don't doubt it. Toyama did express regret that he wasn't able to see your presentation, given the praise it received. I could write a letter of recommendation, he and I have worked closely together before."

Kagome knew she was getting special treatment, but didn't have it in her to turn it down. After a night of crying, she had watched the sunrise and made the decision to put more distance between herself and her alpha. The level of her breakdown had only proven that being around while he began courting someone was going to distract her even more, and the program did look promising. While some might have called it a coward's move, she knew that if she was going to break away from her girlish crush and move on with her life, and let him do the same, it would be best to leave, at least for a little while.

And going to another part of Japan, another island entirely, seemed like a good starting point. A fresh start, a change from Tokyo would give her fresh eyes on her work. She hoped.

"I will write to him tonight. You have your paperwork in order?"

"I do," She answered, gesturing to her briefcase. She had spent all morning filling it out and making copies at the college's library.

Her former professor nodded, looking resigned. She wondered if he was actually going to miss her. Even though they'd had several lunch meetings going over her research and she had taken a class with him in the spring, she knew nothing about him, and she was positive he knew very little of her.

"You've been one of my best students, and one of the most hardworking. When you come back to Tokyo, I would like to continue working with you on your thesis."

"Thank you," She replied respectfully. The program itself would last for a semester, and she hoped that by the time she had finished, she could come back to Tokyo. "I will contact you when I come back."

He nodded, a mute dismissal.

She walked out of his office and closed the door silently behind her. Walking down the hall and away from his office for what could be the last time for months. And yet there was no fear, no nostalgia, no regret. Firm in her decision, she walked to the bus stop and waited patiently, alone, for the bus, and when she finally came back to the building, she was already steeling herself to face the still unfamilliar apartment.

However, she was waylaid, again, and told herself that until she left, she was going to start taking the stairs. It would be a half suitable replacement for the unused gym membership anyway.

"Mom," Shippou greeted, smiling warmly. "You're all dressed up."

The doors opened and they both stepped in. Shippou hit the button for her, pressing the one that would take her to the very top floor. She was grateful he lived one floor below her, and that she wouldn't have to explain her move, since he was obviously unaware.

"I had a meeting with my thesis adviser," She hedged, feeling badly for holding back but not wanting to chance telling him something that had not yet been confirmed.

"More work? I thought we broke you of that back in Nago."

"Academic's curse," She chuckled, managing to give the sound a warmth she didn't feel. What would Shippou say if he knew the truth? He and the rest of the pack had made their own assumptions no secret, and she wondered if he would be angry with her once he found out, and he was sure to find out. Secrets didn't last within packs, at least not secrets from youkai. From humans however...

Apparently it was easy to keep secrets from humans. At least she assumed they had all known what she had not.

"Dinner tonight?" He asked, looking hopeful. But she knew what he meant by dinner. Dinner at their- Sesshoumaru's apartment.

Facing Sesshoumaru was more hurtful a prospect than disappointing her son.

"I made plans," She lied, hoping he didn't catch on.

"Plans?" He suggested slyly.

"You are my son, even if you are older than me," She retorted, hoping to fend off further questioning.

He raised both hands in front of him in a defensive position, but his smile spoke well enough for him as the doors opened and he turned so that he was facing her as he stepped out.

"Fair enough, none of my business," He laughed, smile widening as the doors closed.

She hit the button to the correct floor the minute she was hidden from view, slumping against the wall. All of the tension seeped out of her, chilled by the cold of the metal seeping through her light blazer and dress shirt. Feeling as though she had walked a tightrope over a pool of sharks and just barely made it to the other side, she stumbled out and unlocked the door, then closed it firmly behind her.

Reality seemed to enjoy taking it's time catching up to her, and the fear that had been so conspicuously absent in her adviser's office manifested in shaking hands and short breaths, her heart palpitating almost painfully in her chest.

Hokkaido University.

Her blood seemed to churn violently in her veins, energy thrumming through it, impatient and anxious. Unable to stand still but not wanting to go out, she walked over to the dining room table and carefully unpacked her briefcase, pulling out her laptop and plugging it in, booting it up, and going directly to her email.

Nothing new had appeared, and she left the browser window up and began to pace.

Her mind touched on dozens of things, skittered across the surface of images, but refused to settle on anything. Almost manic she shifted from fear to relief to hope to anxiety. Shifting and revolving around the same things, images of the Hokkaido campus, of her room in the apartment above, of the red cabinets and most of all, of Sesshoumaru, she only felt bolts and stabbings of emotion, each thought feeding too quickly into the next for her to fully comprehend them.

She didn't notice the shadows tilting, stretching across the floor, nor did she notice her feet growing tired and cramping. Back and forth, back and forth, her mind circling itself again and again until it was nothing more than an incomprehensible tangle of confusion.

Her phone going off, vibrating in her pocket accompanied with loud chirps, did break through the trance like state she'd thrown herself into, and she scrambled for it, opening it carefully.

Her adviser's name blinked on the screen.

Exhaling deeply, she hit the answer voice and said what she hoped was a stable sounding hello.

"Higurashi-San?"

"This is she."

"I spoke to Toyama. It is a bit late, but you should be receiving the paperwork electronically tomorrow. I forwarded a letter of recommendation and took the liberty of sending the paper you wrote for the TA position as well. He was impressed."

She breathed a shaky sigh that could have been relief or resignation.

"Thank you," She said respectfully, knowing that it could have easily been her research project that had tipped the scales in her favor.

"Congratulations. Good evening, Higurashi-San."

She murmured a polite good evening, looking out of the windows for the first time. It was evening, the sky beginning to turn dark. She hadn't even realized how much time had passed. She did know that the almost instantaneous acceptance into the program had come with several strings being pulled, and she didn't know who or what had worked with her, but she was thankful.

At least she thought she was, she couldn't really tell.


	54. Books Lover's Day

Packing clothing had been simple. Fall in Hokkaido would be as chilly as Tokyo in Winter, and she decided to work on the assumption that she would be coming back after the semester was over. By then everything would be, she hoped, squared neatly away.

The idea that it wouldn't be did cross her mind only to be discarded. Whatever was happening, whatever would happen, was going to the way it did, and she was still numb to the realization that in a few days she would be gone. Everything had occurred with such speed that she hadn't had much time to think, getting paperwork and records ready. Though she hadn't spoken to Sesshoumaru, her tuition had been taken care of, which meant that he knew. Perhaps he was grateful, although that was something she tried not to think on either.

Shippou and Souten only knew that she was going to Hokkaido for a program, and that she had been busy. If either of them knew that she had moved out, neither of them acknowledged it, although they had both left for another showing a few days before, this one a joint one, in America, and would be spending more time with Inu Yasha and his family. She was thankful that she would be avoiding those questions at least.

Sighing, she looked at the bookshelf again. It wouldn't be practical to take them all, and she didn't particularly want to take all of them. But there were a few that her hand automatically reached for, only to pause halfway, eyes on the spines.

The first gift, Miroku's poetry, should have been a given, except that it wasn't. Ever since moving into Inu Yasha's apartment, she hadn't touched any of her poetry books, and had, in effect, pushed them entirely from her mind until that very moment. Almost all of them were filled with memories, attached to moments that she would be trying to forget.

Ashamed of her own fear, she reached forward again and pulled the slim white volume from the shelf, admitting to herself that it felt more like an obligation to take it, and resolving not to read it. Maybe by the time she came back, Miroku's poems would remind her of what they were supposed to, of a time she had left behind, of people she had loved, and not of moments shared with Sesshoumaru.

The two books of Rumi's poetry were carefully considered and almost discarded, but she couldn't make herself leave them behind, although she wasn't sure if it was a sense of obligation or a need for the poet's words. A volume of myths, heavy and obviously well read joined it. She tried not to think about the argument they'd had the day she'd purchased it.

That was four, and she had told herself before looking at the shelf itself that she would only pack six, which is what would fit in her suitcase.

Perusing through her shelves she pulled out her battered copy of selected poems from the Manyoshu, remembering the silly idea she'd had on new year's eve and almost putting it back. But she would need it for school, as a reference, so she put it on the small stack growing on the floor. Kneeling to look at the bottom two shelves, nothing jumped out at her at first.

She was getting ready to pull one at random when she saw the thick, short paperback. It was not hers, in fact, it was the one she had made fun of weeks before. In a childish prank, she had hidden it from him. When she'd packed her things to move from the apartment, it must have gotten thrown into the box in her carelessness.

Without any doubt, she knew that her other books would remind her of him, which was the opposite of what she wanted. There would be no escaping it, at least not at first. But eventually, maybe. But the pointless thriller with it's awful dialogue and contrived plot, it would be entirely Sesshoumaru, because it was one of his favorites. With it's slightly spread spine and ruffled pages and the bent corner at the front from where they had both tried to grab for it, it would always be his, and it had no place in her bags or her pseudo sabbatical.

It did not stop her from putting it on top of the others and picking up the stack, tucking each one safely into the confines of her suitcase.


	55. Son Daughter Day

Souta was still plucking at his guitar, showing her the parts of a song he was trying to write. His lyrics left something to be desired, but the music was nothing like what she had thought he was interested in. It wasn't thrashy or angry. If anything it was almost mellow, although gritty, which she found strange, given that his voice was still trying to settle on something deeper than his pubescent vocals could currently belt out.

Kagome sighed, leaning back into the couch.

"You look rough," Souta commented quietly.

"Hectic week," Kagome answered automatically.

"How's Sesshoumaru?"

She hesitated, and apparently her brother had either turned into the sensitive musician type, or her expression was that obvious before she schooled it into something less pained.

"Did you two fight?"

"It's nothing, just a disagreement."

"That's the word adults use when they're having a blowout and don't want anyone else to know."

When had he gotten so smart?

"It's nothing."

"Is it because you're moving?"

"No," She answered honestly.

"Then you're moving because of it."

"I'm not. The program-"

"You cried because he was going to miss Christmas, and now you're going to move out for a few months. If it's not because of the move, the move is because of it," He told her, voice screaming pragmatism despite it's quiet. And she hated being so transparent. Souta had their mother's gift of seeing straight through to things, and while she might have been able to handle her mother saying something about it, she didn't like the idea of her brother, her younger brother no less, making such blunt observations. Even (especially) when they were more than a little true.

"We both needed space."

"Didn't know you were dating," He said, looking back down at his guitar.

"I'm not. He is," She admitted, biting the inside of her cheek when she realized what it had sounded like. "It's complicated," She added lamely, hating that she felt the need to defend herself to her brother, to anyone.

"Doesn't seem that complicated," He observed, still not looking up from the strings he picked at. "Sometimes things don't work. I'm sorry though, you two seemed really close."

"When did you get so mature?" Kagome asked as he sat the guitar down and scooted closer to her.

"It'll pass, enjoy it while you can."

"Twerp," She said, allowing him to throw an arm over her shoulder. He was taller than she was, another growth spurt hitting him with the force of a train.

"Things work themselves out. Maybe the move will help you meet someone new."

"I'm not interested in dating," She muttered. "I'm going to go get my head on straight."

"How is it I'm related to such a practical human being?" Souta snorted.

"Someone had to be."

"You know, sometimes it's good to be impractical," He argued quietly. "You read enough poetry. I doubt many of the writers were practical."

"But I'm not them."

"You could always try."

"Oh yes, hearts rent beneath the wheel of fate's inauspicious-"

She stopped, Souta's laughter making her smile. There had been something altogether too disturbing about her brother acting wise, and giving her advice on her love life was beyond disturbing, it was borderline demented. When he finally stopped, they were both grinning and relaxed, waiting patiently for their mother to get home.

"You think it'll be alright when you get back?"

"I hope so," She sighed. "I don't have a lot of choice in the matter."

She refused to think that there were choices beyond that.

"Well, if you need someone to talk to outside of the pack, you can shoot me a buzz. I don't mind listening to my older sister getting all weepy."

"I'm not being weepy," She huffed indignantly.

"You might though. And I could always use new writing material."

She grabbed the pillow next to her and hit him square in the face, ignoring the outraged noise that erupted behind it and laughing, really laughing, for the first time since her world had turned upside down.


	56. Thrift Shop Day

Kagome looked around her, pursed clutched tightly to her shoulder. Sapporo wasn't as big, or as busy, as Tokyo, but it was still big, and bustling with lots of people. There was breathing room, however, unlike in Tokyo, where the crowds could get (and often were) downright claustrophobic.

Sapporo was a little slower too, a little more laid back. She noticed people seemed more relaxed, easier to smile as she walked down the sidewalk. The world around her was surprisingly easy to melt into, to become anonymous in. The feeling of being lost persisted, but it wasn't a wholly unwelcome feeling. There was something nice about anonymity and blending into a crowd.

Her first week of classes had gone well, surprisingly so. She only had school three days out of it, but the workload looked heavy enough to keep her very busy. Three classes focused around world literature with professors trying out an experimental program, one she hoped would give her a new perspective, and maybe a few new writers that she could love, ones she would be free of.

Today was the first day she was really exploring her neighborhood. Student housing was in the center of downtown near the college itself, and the plethora of shops and restaurants provided an easy distraction from her small apartment. It was a nice apartment, but the building itself seemed full of younger people, most of which she felt a distinct disconnect from.

Looking through windows of variety stores and clothing boutiques, she passed most of them by until she saw one store with clothing racks and the back wall lined with books. Checking the sign, she saw the quasi artistic sign proclaiming it was a thrift store and opened the door, immediately feeling a little warmer. Hokkaido wasn't cold yet, but it was cooler than Tokyo, and the inside of the shop felt slightly better than outside.

Nodding when the cashier called out a polite hello, she made a beeline for the back wall, eyes on the wealth of books sorted according to topic. There were two cases dedicated to romances, which she ignored completely, and three more of technical books that were mostly out of date. But a single case near the end, wedged between one for childrens books and old computer systems yielded what she sought.

Mixed in with old college lit books were different books on poetry and mythology, classic novels and the odd independent printing. A finger carefully traced each spine for a title, bypassing book after book, looking for someone, something she hadn't read. Most of the names she knew and had studied, picked apart for one project or another.

Two, then three, then four names popped out, and she slid them out of place each time, igoring the slipcovers or the backs and choosing to stack them neatly as she continued. After fifteen minutes looking the shelves up and down she got to the bottom one, covered in dust. People obviously didn't look at it often, and there she hit a veritable goldmine, finding six books of poetry by authors she had either heard of and never read, or never heard of at all.

Grabbing them and blowing the dust off, she tucked them in the crook of her arm and put the other four on top, smiling at the stack. Walking for the register, she was halfway through the store when she heard her name called out.

"Kagome! Kagome!" A child's voice shouted loudly, drawing notice form everyone in the store.

Kagome turned, immediately recognizing the voice.

"Houka," She greeted, smiling softly as the girl ran down the aisle, her father following closely.

"Houka!" He snapped, his use of her name more of a command.

"But papa, it's Kagome!"

"I can see that," He growled, then softened considerably. "You can;t run off like that."

"I'm sorry," The girl said, though she didn't sound the least bit contrite. "I won't do it again."

Araki made a long suffering sound and then looked at Kagome, surprise etched on his features.

"Hello, sorry about that."

"It's alright. Your papa is right though," Kagome said, looking at Houka. "You shouldn't run away from him."

Houka looked properly chastened for about ten seconds before breaking into a smile.

"Are you here to teach me archery?"

"Houka," He father sighed.

"I'm staying here for a few months. I don't have my equipment with me though," She said.

"A few months?" Araki asked, looking more surprised than he had before.

"I'm here for a program at Hokudai," She informed him.

"Papa can make you a bow! He made one for me, it's beautiful!"

"I'm sure Kagome is busy with school," Araki began slowly, as if afraid to hurt his daughter's feelings.

"It's not that busy, I wouldn't mind," Kagome said, seeing the girl's crestfallen look. "I'm sure we can fit some time in, maybe on the weekends?"

"Please papa," Houka said, turning her blue eyes on her father. Kagome couldn't help but giggle watching the pair, Houka obviously trying to use her cuteness and wide eyes to her advantage and her father pretending to look stern, although he wasn't pulling it off very well.

"Oh, I suppose I could make something," He finally sighed, shrugging and rolling his eyes. Houka's loud cheer echoed through the store. "Don't forget your manners," He added.

"Thank you Kagome, thank you papa!" Houka said, her smile so wide the words came out strangely as the young youkai rocked back and forth on her feet. "When can we start!"

"Spoiled," Araki sighed, tone aggrieved.

"I'm free this weekend, if your papa is alright with it."

"Papa?" Houka asked.

"Alright spitfire, you've got your way. I'll have to make a bow first though, which means the first time she comes over, you probably won't get much in the way of lessons."

"That's fine!"

Houka chattered excitedly about archery, her father's workshop, her grandfather, and the bed her father had found.

"Bed?" Kagome asked, curious.

"Taking a break, getting Houka into the city, I look through some of the thrift stores and the like for old furniture. Found some good pieces that just require a bit of work," He said, coloring slightly.

"I'd never thought about that," Kagome admitted, eyes widening. "So, you restore furniture too?"

"Just wood," he corrected, walking with her through the store, following his over eager daughter. "Like this one. The wood is old, and imported Something from the forties, I won't know more until I can get some time with it."

"Papa can read wood," Houka said confidentially, voice an exaggerated whisper. "Someday I'll be able to too."

"Maybe. You might take after your mother, especially if you keep finding ways past your grandfather's wards."

Houka colored brightly, but Kagome's curiosity was peaked.

"Read the wood?"

"My kind take a good bit from wood, like reading a book in some ways."

"And it's, you inherit it?"

"From my mother. My father is, ah, something of a blacksmith. Tell the truth, I think he was a bit put out I took after my mother," he chuckled.

"I haven't met many blacksmiths," Kagome mused. "Only Totosai."

Araki stilled.

"I was unaware you knew my grandfather," He finally said, looking utterly flummoxed.

"Totosai was your grandfather?" Kagome shouted and, once she realized how loud she had been, clapped a hand over her mouth. But really,Totosai with children? How, when, in the nine circles of hell had that happened?

"He was. Strange world now, innit?" Araki laughed, rubbing the back of his head. Kagome nodded, still stunned that she was speaking to Totosai's grandson and great granddaughter.

The head board and foot board were large and extravagant, the luster faded and covered with dust. But it was beautiful, if a bit dinged up.

"It's nice," Kagome commented.

"Look better once I've had some time with it," He chuckled, and Kagome didn't miss the way his hand lovingly, almost reverently caressed the wood.

"Papa, I'm hungry," Houka whined.

"If you're not busy," Araki began.

"I've got the rest of the day," Kagome smiled.

"Lunch, my treat?"

"Sounds good to me."

Houka gave a happy cheer and Kagome offered to watch her while Araki purchased and helped one of the employees load the heavy footboard and headboard into his truck. She paid for her books, listening to Houka speak a mile a minute, already talking about her bow and telling Kagome how much she had improved.

When they walked out front, Araki was just finishing tying down the frames, wrapped in heavy packing blankets, to the truck.

"Where would you ladies like to go?" He asked, opening the passenger door for Houka to bounce in, followed by Kagome.

"I don't really know of anything in the area," She admitted.

"Geomon papa!" Houka said, bouncing in the long bench seat as Kagome slipped in next to her.

"Sounds good. Do you like oden?"

"I love oden," Kagome laughed. Araki nodded, closing the door for her and walking around to the other side. Houka, talkative and excitable as ever, began telling Kagome about the small shop and how her father and grandfather loved to eat there when they came into the city, and how they could eat two or three bowls. Araki colored at his daughter's candid stories, and Kagome couldn't help but giggle at the little youkai's gregariousness.

It was a short drive, Araki navigating backstreets and finally parking in a small lot behind a building. Houka crowed and jumped over Kagome to get out of the truck when her father opened the door. An admonishment was utterly lost on her as Araki helped Kagome down from the high cab and closed the door.

"Will the bed be safe?" Kagome asked, concerned.

"Try a bit of your magic Spitfire," Araki chuckled.

The blanketed items flickered and shimmered, and Kagome was surprised when she blinked and the pile had transformed into a pile of trash. Complete with flies.

"Not bad," Kagome said, eyes widening.

"I'm getting a lot better," Houka said proudly.

"You are," Her father said. "Seems like you might deserve some ice cream after this."

"Yay!" Houka shouted, taking her father's hand and grabbing Kagome's.

Houka and Araki both made it easy to forget about the past weeks and to explore the present and her new home. The food was delicious, and Houka made a show of slurping, earning half chuckled admonishments from her father and delighted laughter from Kagome. Araki told her about the area, and the different places to visit, promising her a tour, which she gladly accepted.

By the time they were walking down the street for ice cream, Kagome was laughing, oblivious to the troubles that had driven her to Sapporo to begin with.


	57. Bad Poetry Day

Kagome looked down at the words, trying to find some way to get into them.

But she couldn't.

The words were blunt, so much so that it felt like the author was trying to hammer the imagery into her head without subtlety or grace. It was nothing like the poetry she loved and appreciated, and she tried to read beyond it, but couldn't. There was just something too sharp in the words, the descriptions less beautiful and more angry, as if the writer himself couldn't quite decide what was beautiful.

Maybe something had gotten lost in translation, or maybe it was just a difference in culture, she couldn't be sure, didn't want to be sure.

Sighing, she closed the book and leaned back in her bed. The day before had made it easy to forget why she had come to Sapporo. Houka's antics and Araki's laughter had made it simple. But in the privacy of her apartment it was easy to remember. The poetry likewise, made it easy for some reason, although she couldn't fathom why.

Discarding the book with the other three she had tried to read, she walked over to the small table that served as a dining table and opened her laptop. With a few clicks she was looking at a blank word document, the cursor blinking as it waited for her to type something. Taking a deep breath, she began typing.

And erased.

And typed some more.

And erased.

Over and over she tried to force out words that conveyed something. But that something was beyond her grasp. She tried for beauty, but the words were trite, cliched and stilted. The lines jumbled together and made no sense at all, clumsy and childish. The only bits of poetry she liked that came out were, she realized, nothing but mocking repetitions of poetry she had read in the past, too similar to be called her own.

Growling in frustration she closed her laptop, harder than she should have, and stalked away from the table.

The problem was, she realized, that she had always read what others had written, spoken, had given to be handed down. Never had she tried to speak, never had she attempted to speak in her own voice. She wasn't entirely sure she could find it, even if she did look. A blank slate, good for reflecting only what others had left to echo through the generations.

Voiceless and blank. Was that all she was?

Kagome grabbed her purse and keys, shoved her feet in her shoes and walked out of her apartment, needing desperately to get some air and to get away from the words that had consumed her life. Taking the stairs, she skipped one or two steps at a time, taking them as quickly as she could.

The lobby was small and others were walking in, ignoring her as she walked out. She was quick enough to get through the door before it even closed, breathing in the air as she stepped out.

Not choosing a destination, she just began walking in a direction, barely heeding those around her. The world was indistinct as she tried to come up with something, anything that she could say.

Her mind blanked.

She had traveled to the past, fought youkai and hanyou, saved Japan and come back and...

And what? Shut herself up in her studies and become a serious student. She had graduated and gone on to college, and gotten her degrees, and moved out, and created an adult life that had been...Boring. Until Sesshoumaru had found her and, little by little, forced her into living outside of her books.

When she looked up, she was staring at a park, having followed one turn in the sidewalk into the park itself. Buildings loomed on the other side, and she realized she was in a created park than ran the length of the street. Looking around her, she doubted any of the trees that stood had been there originally, and the fountain was bubbling, surrounded by a gaggle of younger students.

Striding off of the sidewalk and towards a particularly old tree, it's roots sicking up rudely from the ground, as if to discourage people sitting beneath it, she found a somewhat comfortable spot and sat down, staring at the world around her.

Bitterly, she wondered what Sesshoumaru would think if he knew that she was paying less and less attention to her work, regardless of if it was willing or not?

Opening her purse, she looked through it, found her small notepad and pen, and began to write.

This time she didn't try for beauty, or even for a semblance of coherence. Instead she began writing a letter. At first it was sentences, adjectives slashing and cutting, accusations burning through with bitterness.

And then the lines began to shift, and she began to remember.

And to regret.

It wasn't beautiful, it wasn't smooth. It was a tangled mess that expressed anger and fear, longing and restlessness. She told him how she missed him and the moments they had shared, their easy silence and their silliness. Syllables strung themselves into something that could be called poetry by some, but not to the scholars she worked with, strove to be like.

But small page after small page was filled, and she didn't scratch anything out, didn't erase or go back. Like a dam had burst, everything spilled out of her, first a trickle, then a wave, and then slowing again until half of the small pad was filled.

And she felt empty, exhausted.

Looking down at it, eyes flashing over her choice of words, she knew that it would never win awards, would never gain praise, even if she did choose to show it to someone, which she wouldn't. But it was hers. Her voice, her thoughts, unfiltered and perhaps lacking understanding.

Not trying to read through it, knowing everything contained therein would be too raw, too painful to try going over while the emotions were still so close to the surface, she tucked the pad bag into her purse with the pencil and stood up, and dusted herself off, and walked back to her apartment building.

Ignoring the rumbling of her stomach, she opened a bottle of water and went back to the small, pre-furnished couch, and grabbed the book of poetry and opened it.

This time it wasn't quite so difficult to read, not hard to sink into the words.

And if they weren't her own, at least she understood them a little better.


	58. Kiss And Make Up Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha etc
> 
> AN: This day was for Anonymous (you never left a name!) from the Kiss Contest. Kiss and Make Up Day was August 26th.

She stared at her phone.

Looked at the unfolded paper.

Stared at her phone.

Looked at the unfolded paper.

There was no way she could call, not when they hadn't spoken in weeks. It wasn't as simple as it had been, and even if her call had been to kiss and make up, as it were, it still wouldn't be simple. Since the phone call was about as far from an apology as it could be, she was doubly afraid. Kagome wasn't sure if it was because she didn't have the temerity to 'face' him, chancing either his displeasure or his apathy, or if she was afraid that he would sound relieved that she was choosing to stay.

Sighing, she opened her laptop and opened the browser, going straight to her email.

And proceeded to stare that the blinking cursor.

"Stop being stupid. He's already dating other people, it's not like you had an affair and dumped him," She sighed, beginning to type. It didn't escape her notice that if she really was listening to her own advice, she would at least call. Except the thought of calling made her stomach bottom out. It was easy enough to make excuses however, her rational mind easily supplying her with any number of outs. The easiest was that he was still at work, which she acknowledged could be true. It was six in the evening. The worst was that he was with Toorima, which she admittedly shied away from.

Texting would be too...It felt wrong, and she wasn't entirely sure she should text big news like this.

Email it was. If only she could find the words.

The first three emails she began refused to obey her will. Apologies spilled out when there was no need for apologies, guilt lancing through her despite her best attempts to shove it back down into the box she had stomped it down into to begin with. Guilt was needless and inappropriate, especially for such an email.

The next email talked overly much about how much she loved Sapporo, and why she was choosing to stay. Except it rang as hollow and false, and she cursed her so called language abilities, because she should have been able to come up with something more convincing. Instead she sounded like a love sick teenager trying too hard to be cheerful.

There was nothing for it. Polite civility would have to do, and hopefully he wouldn't see beneath it, although she knew she was kidding herself. Sesshoumaru was nothing if not perceptive, and he would see beneath it.

Hopefully he was enough of a gentleman not to comment on it. If she was lucky.

Sighing again, she typed out nothing but simple facts. Her new employment would keep her in Sapporo, and she was going to fully transfer to the Hokudai campus. Toyama, her employer and the professor of the program, was helping to see the transition through, and that she was happy.

That last part hopefully sounded genuine, because it was supposed to be the truth at least. Except it wasn't.

"But it will be," She promised herself.

Once the email was sent, she promised herself she wasn't doing it to avoid him and his girlfriend, or even the awkwardness, but because it was an opportunity she had been waiting for, a break into the field that would hopefully be a step into something bigger.

Just because it had the added bonus of keeping her from seeing him happy with someone else, if not imagining him living with someone else, didn't matter at all.

Really.

"I don't need to sit here and convince myself that this is the right thing to do!" She shouted, getting up so quickly her chair fell over.

Someone began thumping on the other side of the wall, and she was sure she could make out muffled yelling.

"It's sent, and there's no undoing it. There's no need to undo it, and every reason to go forward," She told herself firmly, picking up the chair and pushing it against the table.

It did not keep her from waiting for a response well into the night, one which, she was strangely -foolishly, she told herself- hurt never came.


	59. Romance Awareness Month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

Kagome rubbed her face, ran her hands through her hair and tried not to scream. She wasn't sure she had the energy for it anyway. In the wake of finding out she would be staying in Sapporo permanently, she needed a new place to live, preferably one that didn't involve student housing. Especially the student part. Her employment would offer her the chance to find something at least marginally better, and she wanted it. Desperately. However, finding such a place was eating into her research time. Already compromising sleep, she wasn't sure if she would even find a place by the time her lease was up.

How had she ever gotten anything accomplished before? Flinching when her mind supplied an image of Sesshoumaru cooking, Sesshoumaru cleaning, Sesshoumaru generally taking care of everything but her laundry, she shoved the mental movie to the back of her mind and looked back down at the newspaper.

"I hate this."

But she continued, eyes scanning the paper for anything promising. She was ready to move into a simple studio, not having much of anything but books. Hiring someone to help her move would eat into her funds, but she wasn't going to try and move the bookshelves on her own, and she certainly wasn't going to touch the credit card that linked to Sesshoumaru's account. Something about using money from the pack account, money he made, made her feel cheap or worse. That there had been no response to her email was, in it's way, relieving. No stilted congratulations, no pretenses. And nothing to reply back to.

She had circled two possibilities when she heard someone knocking. Getting up and praying it wasn't her neighbor asking for more sugar, the worst possible excuse to start a conversation she'd ever heard, she peeped through the peephole and stared, eyes widening in shock.

"Kagome, open the door right now."

She opened it, staring at Inu Yasha, who was glaring. At her. As if she had done something awful. He hadn't glared at her like that since she'd had the ability to sit him.

"Inu Yasha, what-"

"What the hell is going on?" Inu Yasha demanded, shoving past her rudely and walking into the apartment, stopping short and spinning on his heels to glare at her again.

"I'm working?" She offered dumbly.

"Don;t even try to play dumb," He snapped. "What the hell are you doing here? Why aren't you in Tokyo?"

"I had a job offer here," She said, skirting around what she knew he was searching for. "It was too much of an opportunity to pass up."

Inu Yasha was staring at her as if he couldn't comprehend the words that had come out of her mouth. The dumb, shocked looked passed however, his whole face reddening with rage.

"This was worth leaving him?" He shouted, arms flung out to encompass the small room. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"What are you talking about?" She snapped, not wanting to broach that topic with anyone, but especially not Inu Yasha.

"Sesshoumaru has been quiet for almost a month. Before that we were getting calls, he would take calls, shit, you would call and talk to us. Now even Shippou can't get a hold of him, or you for that matter. Shippou called and said you moved out without saying a goddamn thing. What the fuck happened Kagome? Two months ago you two were acting like you were going to fall into bed together and-"

"Why does everyone assume it's about that?" Kagome snapped, finally losing her temper. Inu Yasha had always been the safe one to lose her temper with, and when he had come back into her life she had delegated him to another category, an unknown, unsure one, thinking it was time for them both to stop acting immaturely. But his prodding only served to incite her temper, sparking a powder keg that had been left too long. That he had obviously come all the way from America to yell at her only made it worse. He had been her friend once, her best friend, and after he had gotten a new life he was barging back into hers, acting like he had a right to demand an explanation and, having been dissatisfied, yell at her for it.

"Because you two were obviously in love with each other? Kami Kagome, what the hell did you think he was doing, or you for that matter? Cuddling, hanging out, neither of you just do shit like that with anyone."

"We are not in love. It was just- Just a stupid crush that I don't have the time for!"

"The ti-" Inu Yasha sputtered, looking as if he'd been slapped. "What the fuck Kagome? The time?" He exploded, voice getting even louder. "You care about him, anyone with fucking eyes in their goddamn head can see that! And he was in love with you, which was just as obvious as your feelings. Fucking Kami, the two of you were perfect. What the hell-"

"I don't have time for relationships, I don't need love, I don't want any of it," She growled. "He knew that and he pushed anyway-"

"Pushed?" Inu Yasha asked, looking even more incredulous, as if he couldn't believe Sesshoumaru of all people would push for anything. "Pushed how?"

"He kissed me!"

"Fucking finally!" He shouted at the ceiling, hands going up before dropping back down to his sides. "The gods exist after all. Why the fuck aren't you with him?"

"Because I don't want it!" She shouted, chest heaving with the effort. "I don't want any of that childish nonsense. This isn't magic wells or broken jewels, this is real life, and none of that happens in real life!"

Silence reigned in the wake of her declaration, and for a moment she was afraid she was going to cry. She felt like crying, even though she didn't feel sad. Writing it off to her anger, to the heat in her face and chest and to the strange feeling of betrayal Inu Yasha's reaction provoked, she held them firmly in check. There had been enough tears in front of inu, she was done with it.

"You're scared," Inu Yasha finally breathed, as if the realization had only just dawned on him and was, in it's magnitude, a revelation that had hit hard enough to knock the wind from him. "You're scared of being in love."

"I'm not scared of being in love," She snapped heatedly, the idea itself absurd and he was a child for even suggesting it.

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm working," She said, gesturing to the table where her laptop sat.

"It's because of Kikyo and me, isn't it?" Inu Yasha asked, clawed hand tangling in his hair.

"Why would you-"

"I'm not stupid Kagome. I had five hundred years to look at what I did wrong, what I did to you. I'm not blind, I know I was stupid, that everything with Kikyo-"

"Even if it was that, what happened between me and Sesshoumaru is none of your business!"

"It is when you're punishing him for what I did!"

"I'm not punishing him. We needed some distance if we were going to be able to live peacefully. I-"

"You can be a real idiot, I've always known that. But I never once in my fucking life thought you were a coward," Inu Yasha growled. "I watched you give and give and give and go the fucking distance. You saved lives and gave people hope and made sacrifices no sane person would even think about making. And now you're running away because being in love scares the hell out of you. What about him?" Inu Yasha demanded, clawed finger pointed at her, almost touching her nose. "Do you think it was easy for him? He doesn't do the cuddly sweet shit, he never has. You think him kissing you, taking that chance didn't scare the hell out of him?"

"It's just a stupid crush, it would have ended, and we would have hated each other," She defended. "It always-"

"Wrong," Inu Yasha growled. "You would probably both have fallen more in love, mated, had some pups and spent the rest of your lives together. But you fucked it up because you're too much of a goddamn coward to take a chance. And it's a fucking shame, because you both seemed to make each other really happy."

Kagome stared at him, not wanting to acknowledge the truth of his words even though they'd been drifting in and out of her consciousness for weeks, sometimes more forcefully than others.

"It doesn't matter now," She whispered. "It's done, and I'm here, and he's there."

With Toorima. Dating. And getting over her, if he hadn't already.

"It-" Inu Yasha started, then stopped, visibly sagging. Shaking his head he looked from her to the ceiling and heaved a sigh. "You're right, it doesn't matter. You do what you do," He muttered as he walked past her. She didn't watch him as he opened the door and stepped out. He did pause though, a long silence filling the room.

"If you can't take a chance on him, then you aren't the person I remember at all."

The door closed and once again she was left alone with her thoughts.

Sesshoumaru might have loved her, although she doubted it. Even if he had, he didn't anymore. And she might have loved him, might still, but that was over, and she had grown up. Cinderella might have had her prince, but Kagome knew she would never be content, would never trust a fairy tale again.

And she would never admit to Inu Yasha that he might have had a point, although she knew he wasn't the cause, not fully. Not that she was willing to examine it any further than his accusation had forced. Those memories and that situation were done, and nothing could be done, or should be.


	60. Skyscraper Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

Kagome waited patiently for Eri at the small cafe, sipping on a melon soda. Tokyo was much warmer than Sapporo, the feeling of summer still lingering whereas her new home on the northern island had already begun to feel chilly. Savoring the sun coming in through the window and the bustling of the city itself, she checked her watch again.

Just as she was looking up the door opened and Eri walked in, calling out her name. Kagome waved back, unsure of where to start.

Luckily, Eri did it for her.

"You're going away?" Eri groaned in disbelief, Kagome's brief email to her asking for help packing obviously not the explanation Kagome was going to get away with.

"I found work. One of the professors there would like to take me on as a research assistant," Kagome explained quietly.

"You just got back. You said you'd only be gone for a semester, not forever," Eri sighed, looking less pouty and more hurt by the revelation.

"I'm sorry," Kagome sighed, feeling that, having just started mending things with her once best friend, she was leaving her again. "I just needed to get out of Tokyo," She admitted.

"Why? I thought you loved it here. Your family, the college, Sesshoumaru. I mean, how is he taking this?"

"I don't know," Kagome admitted. "We haven't spoken in awhile."

Eri, who had seemed half distracted by the menu, dropped it and stared, open mouthed and wide eyed. Her silent reaction, adverse to her nature, was more than telling, and Kagome wondered if she would actually be forced to explain, for the second time in less than a week, everything that had happened.

"Kagome," Eri finally ventured, brows knitting together and mouth pinched in a frown. "What happened?"

It wasn't Inu Yasha's angry demand or her brother's light, half distracted prodding. Eri sounded genuinely concerned. And worried.

"We just needed time apart."

"You can never meet people's eyes when you lie."

"It's a long story."

"We've got time," Eri told her. "Kagome, have you talked to anyone about this?"

"I-" She had, but not really, and she wasn't sure how to, or if she wanted to. Scratch that, she definitely didn't want to, but Eri would push, and Eri was the one person that might, at least in an abstract way, understand the situation.

"He kissed me," Kagome admitted quietly.

"Finally," Eri sighed. "So why aren't you there?"

Kagome didn't appreciate the echo of Inu Yasha's exasperated declaration, but she was glad of the fact that Eri hadn't exploded into questions or accusations.

"I don't want a relationship Eri. It's just, they're not for me. And he understood. He's seeing someone else now," She added, trying not to flinch at the memory of the beautiful youkai.

"Not now or not ever?" Eri asked shrewdly.

"I don't know."

Another long suffering sigh, Eri's eyes clenched shut before she opened them to narrow slits, gaze intent.

"I'm the last person to lecture you about serious relationships," Eri admitted quietly. "And I certainly can't tell anyone how to live their love life. I think you're making a mistake. But it's your choice."

There was no censure in the other woman's voice, for which Kagome would always be thankful, because at that moment she felt dangerously close to breaking down and spilling the whole sob story, which wouldn't do. At all.

"It's already done. He's moved on."

"Stupid man," Eri huffed, making Kagome gasp.

"He's not," Kagome defended. "He- He's doing what's right for him. I turned him down, not the other way around."

"Then how come you look like you haven't slept for weeks? Last I checked, people doing the right thing sleep well at night."

"Eri," Kagome began, voice flat. Eri shrugged and put her hands up in a gesture of defense, allowing Kagome the deflection.

"Fine. I understand. Mostly. Not really. But it's your decision, and I've been a crappy enough friend already. I support you in whatever you choose to do."

"Thank you," Kagome said, completely sincere. "And thanks for helping me with the rest of my stuff."

"Just promise to visit," Eri grumbled.

"I will. And Sapporo's not so bad, you should visit me too," Kagome reminded her.

"They do have some good hotsprings," Eri sighed. "So, you want to head out?"

"I'd like to get done early," Kagome admitted. Because she would know when he was there, and she wanted to avoid that. Almost as much as his physical presence, she'd missed the feel of his youki. It was something she hadn't thought about before, having become so accustomed to it, but when she found herself searching for it in Sapporo without realizing it, the moment she'd stepped into her apartment, she'd realized how much of a comfort it had been to get home and feel him there. It was a habit she was still trying to break herself of, a conscious decision that she reinforced every time she got into her building, readying herself for the moment she opened the door.

"Alright," Eri sighed.

"Hey, look at it this way, you get to see Sapporo for helping me. I'll even take you out for drinks."

"Batting for the other team now?" Eri asked slyly. "Because I'll have you know, I have very expensive taste."

"You're awful," Kagome laughed as they got up and walked outside. Eri continued her joke, making Kagome feel a little better about the whole thing. Once they got in the car Eri turned on her radio, and they sang at first, that is, until they turned onto Kagome's old block, getting closer to the apartment.

Once parked, they grabbed the boxes in Eri's trunk and took the elevator up and Kagome used one of three keys she carried, the one she never used anymore, and walked into the apartment.

"You gave up this for student housing in Sapporo?" Eri asked.

"Eri," Kagome sighed.

"Bad joke, I'm sorry," Eri sighed. "So what all needs to be packed?"

"Just the stuff in my room."

She didn't own much, and it showed. A few boxes of books, a few boxes of clothing. It took less than two hours to get everything packed, the boxes taped up. Even Eri looked impressed, and sad.

"I still feel like this is the wrong ending," Eri admitted quietly, her usual sass and sarcasm gone, replaced with a depth of feeling Kagome wasn't used to hearing from the other girl.

"It's the right one, as right as it can be anyway," Kagome told her.

"He's an idiot."

"He's not," Kagome defended, although there was no heat to her voice. "He shouldn't have to wait for anyone. He deserves someone perfect."

"You are perfect," Eri started.

"Far from it," Kagome retorted. "Eri, I can't have this argument again."

"Again?"

"Just, not today."

Eri nodded, grabbing one of the boxes and following Kagome out of the apartment and into the elevator. Kagome used her knee to press the button and waited patiently. When they stepped in and went down, Eri bemoaned the amount of books Kagome had, asking her why she had to be a lit major and not a theater major.

"Just as much drama," Eri told her firmly, nodding sagely.

"There would be more boxes," Kagome told her.

"No way!" Eri said, stepping out into the parking deck. Kagome nodded, even if she had no idea whether there would be more to pack or not, but went along with it anyway, needing the levity. They got back in the elevator again and Kagome looked questioningly when they stopped at the lobby level. The doors opened.

She cursed her luck.

Not only Jigen, but Sesshoumaru's mother waited.

Both stepped in, both glaring at her as if she'd done something awful. Jigen she could understand, Sesshoumaru's mother she couldn't.. She would have thought, had thought, that her move would have been exactly what the youkai had desired. The female had made no secret of it last time she had seen her, after all.

"You know," Eri said loudly, glaring at the female glaring at Kagome.

"Hnn?" Kagome asked, looking to Eri, grateful for the distraction.

"At least you won't have her for a mother in law."

Kagome and Sesshoumaru's mother both sputtered, although Kagome was sure for different reasons. By the time she stepped off onto her floor and the doors closed behind her, she was trying not to laugh. Trust Eri to give her a good zinger before she left Tokyo.


	61. Pardon Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This was supposed to be posted on September 8th

The last of the papers were signed, and she had another key on her key chain, a fourth, at least for the time being. Sighing gratefully as she exited the realtor's office, she barely noticed the other woman in time to avoid bumping into her.

"Excuse me," Kagome murmured, looking up from her purse to see...

Toorima.

What was she doing there?

"No excuses are required," The woman said in a dismissive voice, already walking into the realtor's office. The door closed quietly behind her and Kagome walked down the hallway, brow furrowed in thought as she hit the button for the elevator.

What had the youkai been doing there? Surely she should be in Tokyo. Or maybe she lived in Sapporo, and would be moving. Kagome shook her head, not wanting to examine that thought too closely. Instead she focused on her new home, not apartment. Home. A small duplex, and while it would be the size of an apartment, she wouldn't have to worry about sharing walls with teenagers more focused on games of quarters (a game she hadn't known the rules of before moving to Sapporo, and knew only because her walls were so thin). She had been assured that her neighbor was an older woman, one who used her space in their small backyard to grow flowers.

Pulling her cell phone from her bag, she tapped in a quick message, hitting send and closing it again. Saturdays had become ritual, and she knew Houka and Araki would be waiting for her, probably scanning through a thrift store or a bookstore, Houka's adoration of books springing from the fairy tales Kagome told her.

At first she had been worried that Araki had mistaken her friendship as overtures for something else, but he had, in his own subtle way, admitted he was still grieving the loss of his wife, but was grateful that Houka had a female role model to spend time with. Kagome hadn't realized how oblivious she had been to the possibility of her friendship with him being mistaken as something else entirely, but was grateful he wouldn't press for more. The not-awkward conversation, which could have been so much more embarrassing to the both of them, had solidified their friendship, allowing Kagome even ground to stand on.

As she was stepping out of the elevator and into the lobby her phone dinged merrily and she opened it, looking down at the text, obviously from Houka, who needed to work on her spelling. But the message was clear enough, they congratulated her and offered to meet her at their favorite ice cream parlor. Heaving another sigh of relief, Kagome chose to walk instead of taking the bus, judging that she'd cover the eight or nine blocks more quickly.

Toorima's presence did grate against her consciousness, even though she did try to block it out. She would have thought the youkai would be in Tokyo.

"Probably didn't even recognize me," Kagome thought, not without a hint of bitterness, which she knew was misplaced. She'd only ever seen Toorima once, and for the time it took to ride an elevator. Even if Toorima was looking to take a place in the pack, as Sesshoumaru's mate, it didn't mean she had to know everyone.

But what if she did? There was little doubt she had already met Shippou and Souten, but Inu Yasha and his family weren't first tier, and were all the way in America. Had she already met them? Her willingness to accept pack didn't mean she would necessarily like them. She might even be going after Sesshoumaru because of his standing in youkai society, or because-

"Stop that," Kagome growled to herself, oblivious to the curious stares she was receiving as she walked down the sidewalk. "She and Sesshoumaru might be falling in love, and she's probably a good person, so stop doing that."

Torn between casting the youkai in an ugly light -and she told herself that want was particularly immature and irrational- and wanting to hope that Sesshoumaru was happy and moving on, she tried not to think about the woman taking her spot at the dinner table or laying on the couch with him.

"Stupid. It's his life."

She tried not to feel like it had been their life.

Her brisk pace, affected by her temper, carried her swiftly to the ice cream parlor. Houka was bouncing impatiently in her seat and Araki was laughing. Taking a moment to breathe and calm down, she affected her best smile and walked inside.

"Did you get 'em?" Houka asked, eyes wide.

Kagome took her keys out of her purse and jangled them merrily, allowing Houka to grab them with ohh'ing and aw'ing sounds.

"Thought you might get that today," Araki said, chuckling.

"Why is that?" Kagome asked as they got up and walked over to the counter.

"Carpenter's intuition. Made something for your new place, and the world decided to give you one when it was finished."

"Araki, I can't-"

"It's a gift. Might be a bit offended if you didn't accept it."

"Your cabinets might fight," Houka said solemnly, earning choked laughter from both Kagome and her father.

"And why is that?" Kagome asked before ordering a small sundae.

"Because they want something nice from papa living with them," The child said firmly. Kagome cast Araki a questioning glance, but he merely shrugged and gave her a bemused smile.

"Alright, fine," Kagome laughed. "I accept. If you'll help me move."

"You drive a hard bargain," Araki chuckled. They waited patiently, and Kagome could tell Houka was ready to shout whatever the gift was to the rooftops. By the time they had finished she was actually sitting on her hands, bouncing on them excitedly.

"Not today Spitfire. Kagome'll see it when she moves in."

"But papa," Houka whined.

"Don't but papa me little one," He grumped. "Surprises are best kept secret."

"Did you know, I used to read that kitsune were the best secret keepers," Kagome said obliquely.

"Really?" Houka asked, eyes widening. Kagome nodded solemnly, deciding not to tell her about some of the crises Shippou had brought down on the group because if his distinct lack of ability in that arena. Araki merely looked grateful, and Houka quieted entirely.

"I've got a day off on Tuesday. Would you like some help moving after class?"

"Sounds good," Kagome agreed, silently grateful she wouldn't have to dip into her funds to pay a moving service.

"I'll bring the truck then. And this little one," Araki growled playfully.

It wasn't the pack, but Kagome couldn't help but feel like they were, regardless of titles or past, and she couldn't help but be grateful for such a good friend and such a lively, if sometimes too lively, child in her life.


	62. Make Your Bed Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by Rumi

Houka was running through all of the rooms of Kagome's new home when her phone rang. Quickly pulling it from her purse, she was surprised to see her brother's number flashing before she hit the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Kagome? Are you home?"

"Moving in right now," She chuckled, smiling as Houka ran out and babbled about the cabinets. "I need to go." Souta muttered something and the line went dead before she could tell him goodbye. Shrugging it off, she slipped her phone into her pocket and grabbed a box of kitchen utensils. Araki, significantly stronger than her, grabbed two boxes of her books.

"Show off," She chuckled as he walked ahead of her. Houka came out, almost cat like as she danced around Kagome's legs. Kagome patiently answered questions about what she was going to be using each room for. Araki waited patiently as she showed him the room for the office, surprisingly the large of the two bedrooms the duplex offered.

"I have more books than I do personal things," She laughed when he looked at her strangely. "And I'll be spending more time working."

He nodded and put her books in the larger room while she carried a box of her clothes to the bedroom, making a mental list of the things she would need to pick up for the kitchen now that she had the space to actually cook.

"I could have my father come by, put some fire wards on the kitchen," Araki offered. Kagome stuck her tongue out as Houka empathized with her. The half kitsune child still hadn't gotten complete control of her foxfire, and Kagome couldn't help but wonder if a latent gene in Araki had been passed on to his daughter, a throwback to Totosai's abilities.

She made a mental note to get a couch as well, and a coffee table at some point in the near future.

Unloading the truck was done fairly swiftly, Araki's strength making it easy to get her bookshelves onto the dolly he had brought and into the house. Adding a desk to her list of items to get, she didn't protest Houka opening one of the boxes of books and exclaiming over them.

"I'm going to go get your surprise. No peeking," Araki told her, voice a mockery of sternness. Kagome wanted to peek, but didn't dare open the door to her office after Araki had taken the care to close it. Instead she opted to remove temptation and focus on unpacking one of her book boxes, although that was quickly waylaid by Houka's demand to peruse through each and every book, eyes wide as she tried to read through words that spoke of things she didn't entirely grasp.

"Kagome, this one sounds pretty," Houka said, pointing a clawed finger to the page. Kagome looked down at it, recognizing the poem almost immediately.

"That's by Rumi," Kagome said quietly. "He lived a long time ago."

"Was he a youkai?" Houka asked innocently.

"Maybe, I don't know," She admitted, eyes still on the last poem of the book Sesshoumaru had bought her during their vacation.

"Can you read it to me?"

Kagome nodded, throat tightening.

"Love is the way messengers of the mystery tell us things. Love is the mother, we are her sons. She shines inside us, visible-invisible, as we trust or lost trust, or feel it start to grow again."

"What if we're girls?" Houka asked plainly, bringing Kagome out of the beginnings of ruminations she knew better than to fall into.

"It's a generalization," Kagome told her. "We're all children of love."

"Really?"

"Really," Kagome promised.

There was a knock at the door and Araki poked his head in, looking concerned, which didn't bode well for Kagome's peace of mind.

"There's a boy here, says he's your brother."

"What?" Kagome gasped, quickly standing.

"Kagome has a brother?" Houka asked excitedly.

Kagome walked out, surprised that Houka didn't beat her to the door. She could hear Araki quieting his daughter as she stepped out onto her stoop, surprised to see her brother, his guitar case in hand and a backpack on his back.

"Souta?"

"Mind if I crash on your couch for a couple of days?" He asked, voice pitched with his anxiety.

"I don't have a couch," Kagome said dumbly, but stepped away from the door, allowing him inside. He stepped in, eyes on the living room.

"Wow um, nice place."

"I just moved in. Today," Kagome murmured.

"Today? Oh wow, didn't realize. Lucky right?" Souta asked.

"We can head out," Araki said, voice neutral. Kagome sighed, going into the kitchen where he and Houka waited.

"It's fine, this is my brother Souta. He knows about the pack, so no worries or anything. Souta, this is my friend Araki and his daughter Houka. How about some lunch?"

"Did you want to see your surprise first?" Houka asked, eyes on Souta even as she asked Kagome the question.

"Yes," Kagome said, feeling badly for forgetting, for even a minute, that Araki had made something for her. Following Houka to her room, the door opened and Kagome was surprised to find her futon mattress, which she was ready to make do with until she could find a western style bed that she favored, was not in sight. However, a western style bed, with a wooden footboard and headboard, was there, mattress and all. It merely awaited her blankets and sheets be put on it.

"Araki," She mumbled, eyes sweeping over the simple, light wood. She had known Araki was a carpenter, he had never claimed to do more than make cabinets and restore older furniture. She had not known he was an artisan.

"This is beautiful," She whispered, fingers, dancing along the lines of cherry blossoms.

"I picked out the design!" Houka announced proudly.

"Thank you," She said, turning back to Araki and Houka, one of which was preening, the other fielding off her brother's curious stare.

"Is this your new boyfriend?" Souta asked plainly.

"Eww," Houka groaned, giving her brother a disgusted glance.

"No," Kagome muttered, hiding her face in her palm.

"I'm recently widowed," Araki replied flatly.

"Oh, sorry," Souta said, flushing hotly, looking more awkward and out of place than he had when he first arrived, which was something of an accomplishment.

"At least you'll have the futon to crash on tonight," Kagome sighed.

"What, and pass up such a sweet bed?"

"If you want to drown him, I know a spot nearby," Araki offered, breaking through the tension and earning laughter from everyone in the room, except his daughter, who didn't seem to quite understand what was going on.

–

"That Araki guy seems nice," Souta said, settling down into the couch Kagome had bought. She was flinching at the cost of buying it, but it was no more expensive than having movers take her bookshelves, so she tried to write it off as a necessity, especially since she already had company.

"Souta," She began, sitting next to him, feet tucked under her as she sifted to face him. His whole body was tense, had gotten more so as they had come back and he had begun to babble more and more about trivial things that she knew he didn't care about at all.

"I dropped out of school," He blurted.

Kagome was going to say something, but words failed her. Her bright little brother, the boy that had been top of his class in middle school, had studied as hard as she had for entry exams to his high school, one of the better ones in Tokyo, had dropped out.

"I just needed a place to stay for a few days until mom calmed down."

"So you came here?" Kagome demanded.

"Where else could I go?" Souta snapped defensively. His posture more than his tone struck Kagome then, shoulders hunched in and head down. He wouldn't meet her gaze, and she had a feeling she was going to regret it, but she forced herself to calm down and leaned back in the sofa.

"How about you start at the beginning," Kagome sighed.

"I need more time for music. When I got into high school, it was just a hobby. But it's more now. I'm good Kagome. I'm really good, and I know I can make it. I just need more time to focus on it. I thought you would understand."

She had no idea how she was supposed to understand dropping out of highschool in favor of pursuing a hit or miss world like music.

"Souta-"

"You didn't do anything but study, you left Tokyo, your family, behind to get where you wanted to be," He rushed out. Kagome flinched, feeling the words were an accusation even though she knew they weren't. It didn't make them hurt any less.

"Kagome, I can make it. I just- I don't want to waste my time in high school when I know I'm not going to do anything with it."

"What about your band?" She asked gently.

"I don't play with them anymore. I sort of, I mean-Shit," He muttered, leaning back into the couch and staring at the ceiling. "It's not my kind of music."

"If you're still changing your style, how can you say you know?" Kagome asked, afraid for him even as she envied him the courage to give up everything he knew. She understood why her mother had blown a gasket, it was to be expected after everything she had done to help both of them through school.

"Because everything I write for it sounds awesome. Mom didn't even listen before she blew up on me."

She heard the hurt in that statement, could tell her mother's indifference to the music had wounded her bother deeply. Sighing heavily, she rubbed her face.

Two options stood in front of her. Encourage his endeavor, or tell him he needed to go back home and go back to school. One would make her mother happy, but her brother would probably never forgive her. The other would make her brother happy, at least for awhile, and make her mother so angry that she'd probably-

Actually, she wasn't sure her mother knew how to disown her children. Given everything that had happened in the past, she knew her mother was worried, but she had worried before, had accepted the dangerous things she had done. So why couldn't she accept Souta doing something similar?

"Could you play for me?" Kagome asked, taking a third option. Avoidance. She could think about it more tomorrow, after they had both gotten some sleep and talked about it more.

"I wrote one for you," He admitted, slipping down onto the floor and opening his guitar case. Kagome was surprised to see an acoustic guitar instead of the one he had owned before. He leaned back against the couch and she waited patiently while he plucked a few strings and tuned his guitar, then repeated the process.

When he finally began strumming on it, she was surprised to see that he relaxed. What surprised her even more was that he began to sing.

The lyrics combined perfectly with the music, and he timed it well. But what hurt were the words and how he sang them. She listened, tears burning her eyes as he sang, voice calm and his eyes closed. She was grateful for that, because if he had been staring at her, she was sure the message would have seemed condescending, and she wasn't sure she could handle that of all things.

The tears that had merely threatened at the beginning were falling by the time he stopped and looked back up at her.

"Oh shit, don't cry, that wasn't supposed to make you cry!" He half shouted, looking panicked.

She half choked on a laugh that tried to be a laugh, but came out as a strangled gasp. Unable to articulate the off balance tangle of emotions her tongue was representing, she settled for throwing one of the couch pillows at him.

"Hey, shit, I didn't mean to make you sad. It was meant to be uplifting and happy, you know," He defended, throwing the pillow back at her. Kagome hugged it, thankful that the tears had stopped at his abrupt declaration.

"It is," She admitted. "Just- It hurt a little too," She admitted.

"Need to talk about it?" Souta asked, putting the guitar back in his case.

"It's stupid."

"Well, yeah. It's feminine issues," He mocked, although she could tell he was trying to make her smile, which is almost did.

"I really miss him," She admitted quietly, hugging the pillow tighter. Souta got back up n the couch and pulled her close. It wasn't Sesshoumaru, or their mom, but it was unreserved affection, something she hadn't had since she had left her apartment.

"It'll turn out," He promised quietly as she sniffled quietly. "Everything turns out for the best. Just have to wait it out."

She knew, logically, she couldn't trust in it, but she wanted to.

So she tried, and found a measure of peace in the belief, at least for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I was listening to was No Envy, No Fear by Josh Radin, and seemed to fall into place with Kagome perfectly. Because I am lame, I am saying that's what Souta sang to his sister. Now, officially disclaimer like, I don't own anything by Josh Radin.


	63. Make A Hat Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This was supposed to be posted on September 15th

"I know mom," Kagome sighed. "But it is his decision. We can either support him or lose him."

Kagome listened to her mother, who had gone past the ranting stage and was firmly entrenched in the guilting stage. It wasn't an intentional thing, but Kagome had expected it for choosing to support her brother's decision. And it wasn't awful, but the expected talk about his future, one Kagome was sure Souta had listened to before leaving the shrine.

"He's already found a job here," Kagome told her mother. "I think maybe he needs some time. I know that this really disappointed you, but he seems really hurt, and he just needs to sort through it. I'd rather have him here than with one of his friends or in a youth home."

She looked outside of the store doors, surprised to see rain pouring down, pelting the pavement mercilessly.

And she had no umbrella.

"Mom, I've to to let you go for now," Kagome sighed. "It's pouring here and I don't have an umbrella." A Pause. "Yes mom, I'll tell him to call."

Walking back to the counter, she picked up a newspaper and quickly paid for it, hoping it would hold up until she got to the bus stop. Before stepping outside she unfolded it and spread it over her head, quickly running outside and cursing her luck. She would have to change before meeting with Araki, although she doubted archery practice would even be possible given how the deluge seemed to gain force with each step she took towards the bus stop.

She was halfway there when she felt it, the tell tale tingle of youki that she hadn't felt in almost two months. Stopping completely, she looked around, eyes squinting against the haze of the rain. Following the thread, she jogged over to the corner.

Just as he was coming around it, safe in the shell of his car.

For a brief moment she thought she was safe, and that he didn't realize she was there. Until he stopped at the stop sign and looked over. She couldn't see his expression because of the rain, but she could feel the flicker of youki, the tremor that ran through it like lightning splitting the air.

Immaculately timed, lightning lit the sky, but what it revealed she could not begin to guess, although she hoped that she was as well hid from him as he was from her. Thunder followed, springing her into action, shaking her and making her spin on her heel, fleeing from him. The paper fell from her hands, useless and discarded, and she clutched her groceries, the wet bags almost determined to slip from her hands.

Ignoring the bus stop completely, she tried to escape the feel of his youki, suddenly oppressive in it's reminder. Her clothing soaked, she splashed by others beneath their umbrellas and ignored their angry shouting, when they were moved to do so. If she cried, she couldn't tell, the rain hitting her hard enough, quickly enough that it numbed her face.

When she slipped and fell, her groceries went everywhere, scattering on the wet sidewalk and soaking up water. Crying out as the pain lanced up her back, as vivid as the lightning that struck the air again. Feeling his youki come closer and not caring if it was merely him going on his way or coming to her, she ignored the fruit and vegetables and scrambled to her feet, ignoring the pain jolting up from her ankle. Needing, desperately, to get away, she began running again, the cold quickly numbing the pain and freezing her throat as she gasped in air.

She did not stop running until she got to her block and it was only then that she realized the pulse of youki was almost gone, faded to a far corner of her consciousness until it was barely a whisper.

Slowing down, the adrenaline didn't stop, and she couldn't tell if it was that or the freezing cold rain that was causing her to shake and shiver. Her teeth clattered violently together as she strode past other duplexes and up to her door. When she stepped inside, she was unsurprised to see her brother, although the look on his face said not only was he surprised, but shocked by her.

"Kagome, kami, are you alright?" He demanded, putting his guitar back in his case and striding into the hall, coming quickly back with a towel in his hands. She accepted it gratefully, using it to hide her face.

"I just fell, I lost the groceries," She whimpered, trying not to think about the feeling of Sesshoumaru so close, being in Sapporo. Why was he in Sapporo?

"Get into a shower, hot, or else you'll get sick," He told her sternly, taking the sort of charge her mother would have.

Shrugging her purse off of her shoulder she walked into the bathroom and shrugged off her wet clothing, dropping each article into the hamper with a wet thump, barely conscious of it before she was stepping into the shower, the hot water knob turned until it was on fully, and no cold water to temper it.

The cold was banished, although not the questions.

Why had Sesshoumaru been in Sapporo? If the feel of his youki had been any indication, he was as surprised to see her as she was to see him, which meant he wasn't looking for her. That thought made her feel...Something she couldn't name, but did not want to examine to do so.

Sapporo.

"I'm an idiot," She muttered against the shower wall, remembering his plans for the new building, an an offer to come with him, to take a quarter off from school and to work on her own book. An offer she had seen only as a half thought out wish to give her a rest from her work and, in retrospect might have been an offer for something else.

"And I'm here anyway," She sighed, not appreciating the irony in the least.

Turning off the tap she wrapped herself in a towel and walked to her room, quickly changing into her pajamas and wrapping her hair up.

"Kagome," Souta called. Kagome walked back into the living room, surprised by the sight of three grocery bags.

"What-" She started, staring at the bags, stomach clenching.

"There was a knock and by the time I got to the door, whoever had dropped them off was gone," Souta told her, scratching his head. "Were these the groceries you picked up?"

Kagome nodded mutely, not moving to touch them.

"Weird."

Kagome remained silent as they put everything away, taking the time to wash the fruit and vegetables before putting them in the fridge. The meats were safely sealed, and Souta offered to make dinner that night. Saying nothing, Kagome nodded again and grabbed her purse from the couch, going to her room and opening her laptop.

Her office had been taken by Souta, her bookcases moved into the living room. While she was able to work there, she wanted to be alone as she shuffled through her purse. Her phone was off and when she tried to turn it on, the device refused to cooperate.

"Fourth one this year," She muttered, putting it on her nightstand in the hope she could at least save her address book. Everything else was soaked, including her notebook. The pages stuck together, but since she had written with a pencil, most of the writing was saved. The notebook was useless, however.

Sighing, she walked over to her small desk and grabbed a legal pad and pen, not even knowing what she was going to write, but determined to write regardless. Going back to her bed, she chewed on the tip of the pen, remembering what it had been like to see him.

She'd be lying if she told herself that it hadn't been Sesshoumaru to drop the groceries off, although why he would do it after how she had treated him, after running away? Twice.

Her pen began to move, although she wasn't entirely conscious of what she wrote. It was another letter that started as sentences and moved into verse, shifting without her comprehension. It took her longer to fill up a page of the legal page than it did of her small notepad, but she filled one page, and then another, and another.

Five pages later and she was done.

And, knowing she would have to look at it sooner or later, she decided that moment was the best option, not willing to risk the potential for losing it as she had almost lost the notepad scribblings.

Some of it surprised her, hurt her to read, but most of it she had known.

Perhaps the least surprising to her was that she loved him, deeply. He had been a best friend and a partner, someone that had stayed by her and given her things that couldn't be bought, had thought to show her things that, with the perspective of time, one lover would show another.

That she had ignored it because of fear was surprising. Flinching when she remembered Inu Yasha's declaration, she realized that yes, she had been a coward, running away from love. But not just because of Inu Yasha and Kikyo. She wouldn't lie, it had a part in her fear, how could it not? Her first love had been less a dance and more a battle. Loving Inu Yasha had not been easy, and had, in some ways, bordered on martyrdom.

Loving Sesshoumaru had been easy, so easy that she couldn't remember when she had started. There had been no self sacrifice, no tension, no pressure or heartache. But there had been denial. So much that she was surprised at herself, having prided herself on being able to see things for what they were.

And written clearly enough was why, and she supposed it shouldn't have been surprising, though it was. Before she was sixteen she had lost her father, her first love, and friends. She had seen love tear lives apart and destroy people, had watched it's effects deciding events after decades, even centuries. In her mind, it had become something unsafe and untrustworthy. Something to fear and ignore, and not to be embraced or wanted.

So when it had come along, she had ignored it. Stupidly, she had been given a chance at the sort of quiet, strong love her poetry talked about, and she had run away from it.

Just like Inu Yasha had said.

Sighing heavily, she dropped her notepad on the bed and leaned back against her headboard, eyes on the ceiling.

She'd changed so much from the person she had been in the feudal era. How could Sesshoumaru have loved her when she had lost so much of what made her someone worth loving? And when had she turned into such a coward?

Loss crashed through her, over her, like a wave. And she knew she had no one but herself to blame.

And Sesshoumaru-

Loss was drowned beneath guilt. He had been giving her hints all along, and she had been encouraging him. Her rejection of him was made even worse for that, knowing that her denial and pretended ignorance had only given him the impression that- that-

"I'm in love with him," She whispered, saying the words aloud for the first time.

Unfortunately, unlike the poems she had deemed a safe way to experience love, a vicarious existence that kept her clear of consequences, the words brought no joy, no comfort. Only bitter resignation.

And, understanding herself better than she had in years, understanding the months she had spent with her roommate more than she had allowed herself to while they were happening, she picked her legal pad up, and began to write again. This time she was startled to realize that it came as verse, simple lines that flowed beautifully, although flavored with an undeniable sadness.

An apology, a regret, an explanation. What had been a simple chain of events lost itself in complex words, and by the time she was finished, she felt empty again, nothing left inside of her except a better understanding of the poets she studied.

Love could be painful, realization bitter, and words could turn something complex and ugly into something simple and beautiful.


	64. National Punch Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> National Punch Day
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This chapter was set to be posted on September 20th
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Kagome relaxed, feeling the tension seeping from her muscles after a long day of dealing with Toyama. He wasn't a slave driver, far from it. The atmosphere of the office was relaxed, always relaxed. But he'd been rushed, dealing with an upcoming presentation that she was helping him with, even if she didn't exactly get credit for it. Her work, such as it was, was simply putting together a powerpoint and offering her own thoughts and insights into his notes. It was an honor for her, to be asked her own opinions about the lives of the old poets, and Toyama had been impressed by her insights. His favor boded well for her future, and he was enthusiastic about her thesis, a definite plus.

But none of that had stopped the harried feeling as the day of the presentation came closer, even if she wasn't going to be the one on the podium. It had, however, provided a welcome distraction from the knowledge that Sesshoumaru was in Sapporo, the building he was working on not far from her school or work at all. It had also given her something to do when sleep was evasive, words and documents multiplying on her laptop until she had almost forgotten about it.

"You look tired," A voice said behind her. Kagome turned, smiling as Araki and Houka walked to her table. Both sat down, Houka already looking at the dessert menu and chirping a half absent hello, eyes greedily devouring the pictures.

"Long day at the office," She chuckled.

"You need to get out into the sun more," The youkai admonished, smiling at her despite the kindly worded rebuke. "You look pale."

"Just tired," She promised.

"Hey guys," Souta said, walking over to the booth and sitting down. His uniform shirt, a bright red, was off and he was wearing a plain black shirt with his black pants. Her little brother looked exhausted, no surprise when he was waiting tables, his first job ever.

"You look awful," Kagome joked, shouldering him gently.

"There was a birthday party earlier this afternoon. Sixteen children hyped up on sugar and caffeine. I'm not sure the gods exist," The teenager groaned, head tilting back and eyes closing.

Kagome didn't ask him if he was missing high school and home, she'd made the comment once as a joke and he'd reacted by breaking down, admitting that he was terrified he had screwed everything up. But the determination had lingered, making itself known as a harshly snapped declaration that even if she didn't want him there (which she hadn't implied or said) then he would find a youth shelter until he could afford an apartment. That had been the last of any and all comments directed towards his situation, and he had taken to playing in the living room in the evenings, offering her a chance to take a break and listen to music, a chance she didn't turn down in the light of her statement and his need for support.

Life was settling down, at least a little. Her home even felt like her and Souta's place, a strange dichotomy from living on the shrine together, their mother and grandfather's absence noticed but not missed as much as Kagome thought it would be.

"Busy days for everyone," Araki joked lightly.

"New order?" Kagome asked, grabbing a menu and looking over it.

"I recommend the burgers," Souta informed her, voice light and eyes still closed. Kagome wondered if he was about to fall asleep.

"Papa got an order from Sesshoumaru!" Houka interjected excitedly. "More cabinets!"

Kagome blinked, trying not to be obvious in her consternation. New cabinets? But he had just replaced them. Why did he need new cabinets?

"He's remodeling most of the primary floor of his flat, probably for the new missus," Araki said, eyes on the folding menu, scanning the list of burgers the restaurant boasted.

Souta stiffened next to her even as Kagome tried to stay relaxed. She won the battle, barely, but Souta got worse and worse, head coming back up and eyes opening.

"New missus?"

"His mother has made some noises about a mating," Araki admitted slowly, eyes finally coming up from the menu. It was when he looked at her that he paled slightly, and Kagome felt her face heat up from embarrassment. Was she that obvious? Sesshoumaru had never been a topic of discussion between herself and the other youkai, and she realized he probably hadn't realized. But he did now, and it was mortifying.

"I didn't know," Kagome said softly, mind fuzzing around the edges.

Mating.

"I'm glad," She lied. "He needs people." Not a lie. Just-

Mating.

Why hadn't anyone told her? Had they all been that sensitive to it, did they think she would be that hurt? Never mind the fact that she was, irrationally, stupidly, selfishly hurt by the news itself, because the idea of Sesshoumaru with Toorima (and it was obvious why the youkai had been in the realtor's office now) was bad enough, but so soon, so quickly-

Or had they not told her because she had left, and they didn't feel she was a part of the pack anymore?

That hurt more. Infinitely more. Especially because she had been the one to leave and had no one to blame but herself if they did perceive her departure as desertion.

Souta began asking Araki about his carpentry skills, and then brought up guitars. Even if Souta couldn't afford a custom instrument and Araki had never made one, both batted the idea back and forth, Houka chiming in with ideas for glitter guitars and things she had seen in music videos. All of it allowed Kagome to pretend to listen while the simple statement hung in her head, spawning a hundred awful ideas.

By the time they ordered, she wasn't hungry and begged off, saying that she was more tired than she thought. The lie was obvious, but neither male said anything, allowing her to get out of the booth and leave. She wasn't sure if she was grateful or if she was angry with herself for leaving, knowing she was going to wallow, but she couldn't stay inside the restaurant with it's suddenly too bright lights and the too loud chatter of Houka or the stifling feeling. She needed air, but when she stepped outside, there was no reprieve from the tight feeling in her chest.

The bus ride to her home was longer than she wanted it to be, too quiet and too lonely despite the people and their myriad noises. As if she was projection a force field, no one sat next to her, not that she noticed.

The realization really hit, the comprehension, when she was walking to her front door.

Some part of her had hoped for a reconciliation, for a second chance. For something, to be able to build something with Sesshoumaru. That he had been seeing someone hadn't really killed the small, selfish hope, because seeing someone didn't mean permanence or commitment.

Mating did.

Once inside, she walked into her room and shut the door quietly behind her, suddenly too tired to stand.

"You really, really messed up," She told herself, sitting down and kicking off her shoes. Her hand went to her shirt's neckline and tugged at the chain around her neck. Despite everything, she had continued wearing the pendant, even when she had wanted to throw it away. It had become a tangible connection, the only real tangible connection she had to Sesshoumaru. But it suddenly felt too tight, too heavy on her neck. Too wrong.

Fingertips refusing to find a grip on the catch, she tried to get her fingernail around the metal, but it kept slipping. The more she tried, the less steady her hands felt, until she was sure she wasn't catching the latch at all. Half tempted to pull at the necklace and break the delicate chain, she barely resisted the urge, unable to destroy the gift, no matter the sentiment behind it.

"Tomorrow," She muttered, falling backwards into the bed, careless of her office clothes wrinkling. "I'll deal with it tomorrow."

Because at that precise moment, she wanted to fall asleep, hoping in a vague, childish way that that day had been a bad dream. The worst part was, she supposed, that she couldn't fall asleep, instead forced to stare at the ceiling while she contemplated what could have been and how easily, foolishly she had turned away from it.


	65. Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don;t own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This was supposed to be posted on September 22. And it is so late, and was requested back when this story was still very, very little and young. I apologize for the lateness. Happy (belated as crap) Birthday Black Ice Alchemist. 
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

"Are you sure about this?" Souta asked, eyes on the paperwork she was filling out. He'd come with her as moral support, although she wasn't entirely sure which one of them needed it more. Souta was more comfortable around cars than she was, but he still didn't like them, had never tried to get a license or even a learner's permit. When she had told him she was going to the DMV for her test, seeing as her permit was about to expire, he'd looked ready to protest, but had instead offered to go with her.

"Yup," She lied, already feeling her stomach tensing itself into knots. But it was a car, not Inu Yasha's back or Shippou's half trained transformation of even Sesshoumaru's pelt. Her hand went to her neck only to find the pendant absent, removed and put into a jewelry box, hidden. The physical comfort gone, she forced her hand back to her lap to finish the paperwork, signing off and clipping the pen back to it before taking it to the desk.

The sound of the plastic clipboard was loud as she sat it down, and it wasn't until then that she realized her hands were shaking. Trying her best to force a smile as the apathetic, expressionless woman behind the desk, she nodded and swallowed thickly when the woman said she would be informed when the examiner was ready. After going back to her seat, Souta's hand covered hers, his fingers rough and callused from playing a guitar, soothing as his hand squeezed gently.

"You can do this."

Kagome wasn't entirely sure about that, not in the least. She wasn't even entirely sure why she was doing it. When the idea had first sprung into her head, it had been because she needed to do something, anything to prove she wasn't a complete and utter coward in every facet of her life, but the bold fearlessness that had accompanied the epiphany had long since fled, and she wasn't sure if attempting her driver's test a second time would actually prove anything, except maybe that she should not, under any circumstances, drive a car.

"I know," She lied, hating the way her voice sounded thick, like she had swallowed a pound of dirt.

"Higurashi, please step outside."

Souta squeezed her hand again and gave her an encouraging nod. She wondered if he was worried, if he was afraid for her and that was why he didn't get up and follow her out. How would her mother feel, if she got her liscence? What would the pack think, if they found out at all? She doubted she would tell them, since none of them had tried to make contact after Inu Yasha's visit.

"I'm not doing this for them," She told herself as she walked outside. Or him, her mind added, ever the subconscious traitor. The instructor was standing next to black sedan clearly marked student driver, clipboard in hand. She looked more interested than the last person Kagome had taken the test with, slightly warmer.

"Higurashi?"

"Yes," Kagome said, clutching her purse strap like a lifeline.

"Please get in," The woman told her, not bothering to offer a name. Nodding again, Kagome walked around the car and got in on the driver's side, eyes on the steering wheel as she strapped herself in, forgetting her purse completely and being forced to unbuckle, slide the strap off of her shoulder and then buckling again. The instructor was patient, smilig calmly and looking forward.

"It's alright to be a little nervous, everyone is when they test," The woman assurred her.

'You have ridden on the backs of youkai and fallen from hundreds of feet in the air,' Kagome muttered within the privacy of her own mind. Sesshoumaru had possesed at least an iota of faith in her, and he barely had faith in anyone, especially if they hadn't earned it. Which meant she could do it.

Taking a deep breath, she ignored the phantom smell of antiseptic and turned the key in the ignition, trying not to flinch when the car rumbled to life around her. Another deep breath and the smell of sterile clean sheets ghosted by.

'You can do this.'

The instructor offered directions on where to go, but didn't try to comfort her or put her at ease again. The woman was looking at where they were going at least, which helped Kagome concentrate, as strange as it was.

'You can do this.'

The first part went well, as well as her first attempt navigating a parking lot had gone, at least. Confidence slightly boosted, she nodded when directed onto the road. Unlike Tokyo, the traffic around the DMV in Sapporo wasn't in the middle of a city, wasn't surrounded by nonstop traffic. It helped, although Kagome still felt nervous as she pulled into traffic and followed idrections, only turning a few corners, obeying stop lights and traffic signs. In her anxiety she hit the breaks too hard once or twice, was slow on the gas, but the instructor never reprimanded her.

By the time she pulled back into the DMV parking lot she felt ready to tremble apart, was rather proud that she didn't break the key off in the ignition before getting out, so eager she forgot about her seatbelt (again) and laughed with the instructor before unbuckling herself and getting out.

"Well, you're still a little nervous, but you passed," The woman told her warm smile firmly in place.

"Thank you!" Kagome said, relief flooding her system with lightheaded dizziness.

"If you step back inside, you'll be called for a license once everything has processed."

Kagome nodded again, still lightheaded, as if all of the adrenaline she had been determined to suppress had suddenly flooded her system, making her feet feel like they were filled with nothing but air and overall jittery, shudders running through her as she walked back inside.

Souta looked over at the door, expression anxious as she stepped in and gave him a tremulous smile.

"So you didn't wreck this one?" He asked, the cheer in his voice a little too forced to be genuine. Kagome gave his shoulder a half hearted swat before sitting down, all of the strength leaving her legs.

"I passed."

There wasn't a sense of triumph, especially not when Souta's hand found hers again, squeezing reassurance. Knowing it was more for him, she allowed him the very public, very out of character affection, and closed her eyes. There was no sense of Triumph, but there was a sense of reclaiming something she had left behind, something she should never have lost. Cars had always been one of her biggest fears, more than youkai or bad grades or, well, almost anything. There was a grain of hope, a feeling of starting. There was a small, foolish hope that maybe, if she could drive a car without having a nervous breakdown, she could remind herself, now and again, that she hadn't always been a coward.

"I did it."

"Yeah," Souta sighed, voice sounding as relieved as her own. "Yeah, you did."


	66. Ask A Stupid Question Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This chapter was set to be posted on September 28th. It was a request day by Jaime R. from the Kiss Contest. I'm sorry it's so late.

Things were going well, at least Kagome thought so. Work had let up a little, her classes were easier than she had thought they would be, and Souta was feeling a surge if inspiration suddenly, if his constant singing and guitar playing were anything to go by. There had been no sign of Sesshoumaru or Toorima, and if she took a longer route to school to avoid seeing the construction, well, then at least she was willing to admit it to herself.

She was looking through the paper at ads for used cars, intent on purchasing one so she no longer had to rely on the bus, which was not only sometimes late, but also getting colder. By the time November hit it would be frigid, and she wasn't going to make herself sick, not to mention it would help Souta, when she could give him rides. He didn't have any form of insurance, and his work wouldn't tolerate him calling out for illness, as well as not beginning to pay enough for medication. He was even starting to warm up to the idea, even if their mother hadn't been receptive to the notion in the least, only going quiet when Kagome had informed her of attaining her license.

"We're almost out of bacon," Souta grumbled, looking down at the package as if it had offended him by only having four or five pieces left in it. Souta was proving to be a better cook than she was, and she allowed him to do whatever he wanted in the kitchen in the mornings and his nights off, not that she had been given a choice after forgetting the roast she'd been working on for one of her projects and setting off the fire alarms.

"I'll pick some up later today," Kagome told him, chewing the tip of her pen. Why were used cars so expensive? Even ones that were a decade old were in the top limits of her budget. And anything saying 'project car' or 'needs tlc' were immediately struck out, even if they were the only ones that came remotely close to what she wanted to spend.

"I wrote a list out," Souta told her. "I've got to work a double tonight, Shion is picking up his girlfriend from the docks."

"Alright, take out tonight then," Kagome murmured, eyes still on the paper. Souta made an exaggerated sound of relief and Kagome tossed the pen over her shoulder, mildly surprised when her little brother made an offended sound before the pen hit the floor. It sailed past her shoulder and clicked on the table, her hand slapping over it to keep it from going beyond her reach as she looked at the prices listed.

"You know, you'd probably be better off looking on the net," Souta told her when she made an agitated sound.

"Probably," She sighed, folded the paper and tossing it onto the table, just as a knock sounded at the front door.

"Expecting someone?" Kagome asked.

"No," Souta told her, giving her a confused glance before turning the bacon. Kagome got up and walked through the living room to the door and peeked through the peephole.

And stepped back immediately, taking a moment to remember how to breathe, which was actually much harder than it should have been. Breathing was instinctive, subconscious, but her lungs weren't working. Her throat wasn't either. The knocking sound came again, and Souta came up behind her, hands settling on her shoulders, which were tensed.

"You alright?"

"It's Shippou."

"Kagome, you should talk to him," Souta told her, pushing her lightly so that she was closer to the door. "You're his mom."

"I-" The knocking sound interrupted her.

"I'll make some breakfast for you guys and stay out of the way. You need to talk to him." With that he was walking away, back into the kitchen and leaving her facing the door. Reaching forward, she opened it just as the knocking sound came again. When she opened it, Shippou's hand was still in the air, his green eyes bright against his tan skin.

"Mom," He said, the word sounding something like relief and something like anger, both mixed into a tired sigh.

"Shippou," She greeted, hesitant to step forward, not quite sure where she stood with her adopted son anymore.

"Invite him in," Souta called out from the kitchen. Stay out of the way, she thought wryly. Of course she should have known that meant he would be hovering.

"Come on in," She said, stepping to the side, not quite sure how Shippou had known where she lived. The kitsune walked in, eyes scanning the small duplex, the new couch and coffee table, another gift from Araki. The kitchen and breakfast bar, the small table that could seat four. It was nothing like the condos that he had lived in, that she had lived in. Suddenly she felt self conscious again, like she had felt when Sesshoumaru had walked into her small apartment almost a year before.

"Your phone's been off," Shippou finally said, shoving his hands into his pockets, face neutral.

"No, I- Oh. No, it was raining awhile back and I slipped and messed it up. I got a new number. I'm sorry, I-"

"So that's why you didn't call, right?" Shippou interrupted, voice gaining a hard edge.

"We don't have enough bacon. I'm going to the store to get more. Be back in fifteen. Or forty," Souta said, blowing past them as though he couldn't wait to get out of the house, which was probably true, given how tense she and Shippou were, how the tension seemed to seep from their skin and into the air, making it heavy with silent accusations. The door slammed behind him.

"I'm sorry."

"You-" Shippou began, hands coming out of his pockets to fist at his sides. He wasn't looking at her anymore, shoulders coming up as he stared down at the floor, completely obscuring his expression. "You left again. We were a pack again _and you just left us_."

The words were like daggers, hitting in all of the right places and pinning her down, shredding through her defenses and obliterating excuses. Sudden;y 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough, not in the face of that accusation, that obvious pain, an old wound she hadn't even considered in her blind flight from Tokyo. But without 'I'm sorry' she didn't know what to say, didn't know how to explain that she had left for the better, especially not when it hadn't been better for Shippou.

Walking over to her couch before she fell down, the sheer weight of her own blind stupidity threatening to topple her, she braced her elbows on her knees and cradled her face in her hands, not wanting to see her son standing in the middle of her living room, refusing to look at her.

"I did something very stupid," She finally admitted from behind her hands, still afraid to look. "I got scared of something and I ran away, and I didn't think of the people I was hurting."

"No, you didn't."

It wasn't forgiveness or understanding, not that she deserved it. It hadn't occurred to her that Shippou would feel abandoned, but that was exactly what she had done. A hundred excuses had popped up when she'd come close to thinking like that. He was busy with his art, or too wrapped up in Souten, or, or, or. But none of it made a difference, because she'd deluded herself when she thought he wouldn't miss her, wouldn't notice her sudden absence and distinct lack of explanation.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shippou demanded. Kagome could hear him sitting across from her, on her coffee table. Their knees brushed against each other for a moment before he shifted back, obviously not ready to have physical contact. His question was almost met with a petulant one of her own, one that would be unfair, especially given the context of his visit.

"Because I'm still mortal, and young and stupid," She told him plainly, moving her hands away from her face but still looking down between their legs at their feet. He was wearing sneakers, which she realized she found strange, suddenly. Kitsune wearing sneakers. If anyone would do it though, it would have been Shippou. Was Shippou. "I don't always make the best decisions."

Shippou made a snorting noise that reminded Kagome of Inu Yasha, made her want to start crying because it was such a derisive, confirming noise, as if she'd hit the nail on the head but still managed to screw it up. Which she had, she realized. In so many ways.

"Will you come back?" Shippou asked, forehead coming forward to rest against hers, propping her up.

"I need time," She told him, hoping it would be enough.

"I miss you," Shippou whispered, hands coming forward to take hers and squeeze gently.

The tears she'd been holding back started, first stinging her eyes in a half second warning before they started spilling over her lids and down, falling onto her knees.

"I miss you too." And she had, more than she'd realized. The lack of Shippou and even Souten, of Kirara in her life, the holes left where they had been had gnawed at her, just at tenacious and hurtful as the one left by Sesshoumaru when she'd left them. Left all of them, not just him.

How had Shippou even managed to come to her home, knowing that? How had he looked at her and not started screaming? She knew she deserved it, knew she deserved so much worse than him sitting across from her, keeping her upright even though she felt like she should be sinking into a pit in the floor beneath her, boneless and weighed down by the repercussions, the realizations.

They stayed like that, quiet, foreheads resting together so that they were propping each other up, until Souta returned. Her brother worked quietly in the kitchen, making breakfast for them and bringing the plates into the living room. Kagome would have asked him to go away, except he sat down and began strumming notes on his guitar, which seemed, oddly, to help Shippou relax until he was sagging slightly.

"Eat your breakfast before it gets cold," He finally said, breaking through the pseudo quiet.

"Yes, uncle," Shippou said, the word a half smirked taunt that made Souta mutter something uncomplimentary under his breath.


	67. Adopt A Shelter Dog Month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: PSA! It's Adopt a Shelter Dog Month. I know this isn't always possible, but consider making donations or volunteering for an hour or two at an animal shelter. PSA Over, you can go back to your normal transmission of ficcy goodness.

Kagome stared down, eyes widening as she felt her blood pressure rising.

"No," She said, stepping back until she hit the front door, the knob digging into her lower back.

"Oh Kagome, come on," Souta whined. "It'll be good for us," He added as he wrapped his arms around the white and brown dog, face right next to the long muzzle that was hanging open, a tongue lolling out the side as deep (not soulful, she refused to think of them as soulful) black eyes looked up at her. He looked a bit weathered, and he was definitely not a puppy, his body too lean to really have much muscle mass.

"Where did you even find him?"

"Shelter. They were doing this special for adoptions, really cut down on the fees for vaccinations."

Souta didn't have the money for that sort of thing. Then again, she didn't have much to spare. It was on the tip of her tongue to mention that when she looked back at her brother, who was clinging to the dog like it was an overly large, threadbare teddy bear.

"Fine," She groaned, knowing she was going to regret it. "But he sleeps out here or in your room. He's not allowed in my room under any circumstances. Got it?" Kagome said, voice firm.

"Got it," Souta agreed amiably, his grin growing.

"Is he fixed?"

"The shelter couldn't do it in his condition. Since they picked him up he hasn't eaten much or anything, and they were hoping being with a family would bulk him up some, help him get healthier."

"Is he sick?" She asked, concern flickering to life.

"Not that they could see. They were about to put him down though."

Kagome knew then that it was an utterly lost battle then and there. Even at her most oblivious she couldn't return the dog back to the shelter to be put down.

"Okay. Okay. But once he gets better, he gets fixed. And you're in charge of walking him. And if he makes a mess in the house. I don't want to lose my deposit."

"You won't regret it," Souta promised, hugging the dog again. Kagome was surprised that the overwhelming feeling she would didn't descend on her. Ignoring the little voice in her head that told her that she was too old to sit on the floor with a dog and her little brother, she got donw and crossed her legs, hand held out, away from from the dog's nose.

Once at eye level, she was able to get a better look. The dog was dangerously thin, although not completely starved. His coat looked dull, the short hair coming out whenever Souta would pet him. But the long muzzle came forward, black nose flaring as he took in her scent. Then his tongue tentavely peeked out, touhced her fingertips, and she moved her hand slowly forward, slightly surprised when the dog leaned into the contact.

"He just needs a little help," Souta told her, leaning back as she scatched behind the dog's ear.

They all did, although she didn't say it out loud. They all needed a little help, a little time.

"What's his name?" She asked as the dog laid itself down, head settling in her lap. He was bigger than she had initially thought, his form sprawling just a little as he began to relax. Fur continued coming out, and she was already making plans in her head for finding a better brand of dog food than what he'd had at the shelter. Maybe some wet food with it, to tempt him.

"Yasha."

Her hand stilled and she gave her brother a flat look.

"I think it suits him."

"Demon?" She asked, not entirely convinced of her brother's reasoning. He'd been sensitive to her moods since moving in, had been supportive, more supportive than any other seventeen year old in his position would have been. But the direct reference to her past irked her more than a little, even if he did mean it in jest.

"It's already on his papers," Souta told her, shrugging as if the name meant nothing. Kagome held back the sigh and continued petting Yasha.

"You are in worse shape than he was when I first met him," Kagome commented quietly. Souta didn't ask if she was talking about Inu Yasha or Sesshoumaru, and she wasn't quite sure who she meant either, if she was being honest with herself.

"I had to bring him straight home, so I wasn't able to grab food. You mind staying with him while I go grab some stuff for him?"

"Sure," Kagome replied absentmindedly, still contemplating the quiet dog, it's head on her lap and body relaxing little by little as he sprawled on the floor. Souta got up, ruffling her hair as he walked past and leaving the distinct smell of dog in it. She huffed as the door closed behind her, eyes going back to the dog.

"Welcome to our strange little family," She told him. "We all need some work."

The dog got on it's back, presenting it's belly for rubbing, tongue lolling out against to hang down, and she couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out at how ridiculous it looked. Scrawny, shedding all over her carpet, and almost silly. Definitely nicer than Inu Yasha had ever been, though.

"Just so you know, I have a history with dogs," She informed him as she leaned forward to rub it's belly. A snort was the response to her statement, something like a sneeze. "Well yeah. But I'm pretty sure we'll get along better. Just don't eat my books or my furniture."

The dog didn't respond vocally, but his leg did start twitching when she found a spot under his ribs, provoking another laugh from somewhere deep in her chest, that resonated inside the small home.


	68. Name Your Car Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
> 
> AN: This was supposed to be posted on October second. And oh my god I am soooooooooooo late. But. Umm. Yeah. Updates ahead. Thank Kayelyn for her absolutely bamf motivational speech this morning.

Kagome stared at the simple blue sedan, eyes going over it thoughtfully. It was just barely outside of her price range, and the only car that had looked like it was actually mobile and would stay that way for a year or two without too much maintenance. The owner, someone trying to unload it so they could purchase a mini van for their growing family, watched her nervously. The nervousness worried her a little. How many had come to look at the car and just left it? Why?

"It doesn't look too bad," Souta told her, staring at it. "Perfect for a spinster."

Kagome elbowed him and shot a withering glare.

"Would it fit Yasha?"

"He should be fine in the back. And the upholstery isn't in bad shape either," He told her, looking inside the window.

"Can we take it for a test drive?" Kagome asked, looking at the owner, who nodded tightly. He produced the keys and handed them to her, getting in the back seat as she and Souta got in the front. It took three tries for the engine to turn over before the car rumbled around her. It wasn't the smooth purr of Sesshoumaru's car, or even the car she had taken her driving test in, but it didn't sound bad, a little rough, which she supposed she should have expected from an eight year old car.

Putting it into drive, she ignored the nervous hitch of her heart and pulled out of the driveway, careful to to pay attention to the world around her. The street was mostly deserted, and she had a mostly easy time of rounding the block, taking a few right turns before she was back at the house. The car wasn't perfect, it sounded a little old, but it didn't sound like it was going to shudder apart around her.

"Well?" The owner asked, a little eager. Kagome looked at Souta, who nodded.

"I think we'll take it," She said, heart skipping and voice breathless at the acknowledgment.

"Great."

Kagome looked down at the steering wheel, hands gripping it a little more tightly than they had a minute before. A car.

"I need to get the insurance information in order, but I'll be back for it tomorrow or the day after. Is that alright?"

"That's perfect. I'll email you the information you need."

She and Souta got out and she tossed the keys to the owner, who gave her a cheery smile and walked back into his house while she and Souta walked to the bus stop nearby.

"You going to tell mom?" Souta asked quietly.

"Once everything is signed. She's still a little nervous about me having my license." It was actually a subject they'd avoided entirely, Nodoka not being in the least bit comfortable with the idea of Kagome having her license. Kagome couldn't fault her for it, but she would have to tell her mom she was getting a car. Especially if she took the car back to Tokyo for any reason, like Christmas. Maybe she would skip that. Christmas would be an awful time for her mother to see the car.

"You've gotten a lot better."

"Yeah, I haven't ripped a crosswalk pole out of the ground yet," She muttered wryly.

"You won't."

"You're awfully overconfident," Kagome chuckled, shouldering him as they walked.

"You're getting better in general, is what I mean. More confident, which is important when you're driving. I probably couldn't do it."

Kagome blushed despite herself and shouldered him again, pushing him slightly and tried to think of something to say to that, but couldn't. She didn't really feel more confident, maybe a little more in control of her life, a little more mature, but not more confident. If anything she was more aware of herself, how little confidence she actually had.

"You're still a spinster. And a lit dork."

Kagome elbowed him this time, a choked laugh erupting and making Souta laugh, easing what tension had been in the air from his statement.

"You really think so?" She asked.

"Of course I do. Since when have you not been a dork?"

She huffed lightly, pushing her hair back from her face.

"You are getting better," Souta said, seriously. "It's good to see you like this. Still not a hundred percent, but you're not an overly puffy gray cloud of doom and gloom and bad poetry."

"I write amazing poetry, I'll have you know," She defended, voice sarcastically tart.

"Prove it."

"No."

"Oh come on, I sing for you all the time."

"You practice around me," Kagome corrected with a chuckle. "I'm surprised Yasha and I haven't gone deaf."

"Oi," Souta muttered, so aggrieved sounding that it had to be fake, making her burst into laughter.


	69. Curious Events Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Convivial
> 
> The Hatter Theory
> 
> Curious Events Day
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or the poems mentioned in this story.

"Got any plans on the thirty first?" Toyama asked as he sat down across from her. The small cafe was an extravagance she could barely afford, but as her class schedule became more hectic, she found it harder to make time for packing a lunch for work. The question, however, made her drop her sandwich onto her plate, immediately wanting to know why he had asked about that specifi date, followed immediately by a much more natural suspicion.

He wasn't hitting on her, was he?

"I know, but you've been an amazing assistant, and you've held your own with a few of the bullies that have come in. I think you can handle yourself with the donors."

"What?" She stuttered, thoughts taking an abrupt u-turn.

"The benefit on Halloween. We all dress up, pander to the donors and hopefully butter them up enough to write checks. I hesitate to call it a party, but that's what the dean calls it," He explained. "You've held your own well enough so far, and you're a bright student and assistant."

"Will I be welcome, since I'm a student?"

"It helps that you're also a young, attractive female working in the department," He added. "And most of the donors are old men with more money and hormones than sense."

"That's-" She started, unsure of what to say. Half embarrassed by the descriptor and mortified at the thought of old men ogling her, she stuttered, at a total loss for an appropriate response.

"The academic's curse," He chuckled.

"We seem to have a lot of those," She mumbled, the phrase reminding her too much of the excuses she'd provided in Tokyo. Every time she heard it, it felt like a lie, a cheat, a way to slip past the truth.

"We do, but it's all worth it. The advances made in the last ten years alone-" Toyama continued speaking, going on speech she had already memorized. But it was his passion, the picking apart of the literature they studied, the history of it. And those were not her passions, although she enjoyed the process of learning the world around a particular piece. But the reward was always the piece itself, something he didn't seem to really care about.

After the fifteen minute long speech was over and her sandwich was finished, he approached the subject of the benefit again.

"You were a costume, be polite, talk a bit about our program, and bat your eyelashes at all the men."

She resented him for a moment despite the fact that he had taken a chance on hiring her in the first place. Of everything she was, she was not a pretty face and a pair of, well, anything, to dress up and be trotted about like a hooker show pony.

"We could really use a better face than mine for our department," He added, looking almost alarmed. Had her resentment been that obvious?

"Alright," She told him, knowing there was no polite way to refuse, not to mention it would be ungracious in general. "Is it really that bad?"

"Sometimes. Just don't take anyone up on their offer to be alone with you."

"I wouldn't. That seems foolish at best." The professor nodded in agreement, taking the first bite of his sandwich since sitting down. Kagome murmured a polite goodbye and made some excuse about her work before standing and leaving.

A benefit. A costume benefit, on Halloween.

"It'll keep you from thinking about it," She muttered to herself as she walked down the halls. It being the obvious anniversary. Pandering, and Toyama had been absolutely correct using the term, to the wealthy that helped keep her college open would be difficult, and would command all of her attention unless she wanted to disgrace her department. Despite the fact that she'd lived with one of the most powerful people in Japan, she didn't have much of an idea about how to conduct herself around the elite, as she pictured them.

Surely they would be polite, nothing like Sesshoumaru's mother and her mate. Surely no one could be that surly.

Such was her thinking when she sat down with the portfolio she'd been handed, another set of poems to research and make notes on for Toyama. Research assistant had sounded so honorable when he'd first made the offer, and while she didn't hate her work at all, sometimes she felt more like a ghost writer, the kid from high school that did other people's homework.

Ono no Komachi. She flipped through the pages, going over what had been given about the work. Almost apologetically, the tone clear in the notes, Toyama had mentioned it was an over analyzed piece, and a romantic one at that, but he wanted her perspective on it. Sighing, she looked at the lines, blood draining from her face as her body chilled.

It was a different wording, but the same poem. The difference didn't change the effect, didn't stop the memory from coming back.

"Although I come to you constantly over the roads of dreams, these nights of love are not worth one waking touch of you."

It felt almost crude compared to how Sesshoumaru had spoken it, crude and clumsy. Opening her laptop, she booted it up and waited, eyes still on the waka.

Ineffective, sloppy. She began finding what was wrong with it instead of thinking about the circumstances around the recitation. It was work, and she was going to make sure it stayed work, and not some emotional quagmire she was still navigating herself out of.

Clicking on her browser, she looked up the poem and how Sesshoumaru had spoken it. While the poem in the portfolio was well accounted on the net, the version Sesshoumaru had spoken was nowhere to be seen. Five minutes became thirty, and then an hour. Obsessively clicking each link, she exed out of page after page when they didn't provide what she was looking for.

It wasn't until she realized she'd been doing it for over three hours that she stopped, hands rubbing her eyes and a groan escaping.

"You alright there Higurashi?"

"I've heard this poem before, but worded differently. I can't find it anywhere on the net."

"Then someone probably butchered it," Toyama shrugged from his desk. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"It wasn't butchered, it flowed better, actually. It's just-"

"How did it go?"

She was hesitant to speak the words aloud around anyone, but especially to someone that would only pick it apart. It seemed crass, somehow, like looking at a love note for grammatical errors. But he was waiting patiently, his chair turned as he leaned back and folded his hands over his stomach, full attention on her.

"Though I go to you ceaselessly along dream paths, the sum of those trysts is less than a single glimpse granted in the waking world," She said, trying not to blush. Watching Toyama intently, she saw him turning the words over in his head, analyzing them for some anachronism, some flaw. And she hated it.

"It's not bad, but it's not what's been passed down."

Kagome flipped through the notes, looking for source materials. The poem itself had been sourced to several copies, but no originals.

Could Sesshoumaru have read, possibly heard the original? It wasn't unheard of for literature, especially poems, to change as they were copied, and there had certainly been enough time for it to occur.

"I'd like to do some research into it," She said, realizing a moment too late exactly what she had volunteered for.

"Sure, it'd be an interesting paper if you can find other versions, maybe make a comparison and pinpoint when they changed and who did it," Toyama nodded, looking pleased.

Kagome wanted to set the portfolio on fire. "I'll research it at home," She said, closing the folder and slipping it into her laptop bag.

"I was going to ask your opinion on something anyway," He conceded. "You grew up on a shrine, right?"

"Yeah."

"Take a look at this," He told her, holding out a paper. She had to lean to get it, and settled into her chair again to begin going over what appeared to be a portion of an epic.

After reading through it, she almost, almost, made a frustrated angry sound, barely restraining herself. That was not an explanation she wanted to give.

"There's a story at my shrine," She started slowly, hesitantly.

"Go on."

"It's just a story, about a thief that fell in love with a priestess. He couldn't have her, and turned into a demon because of his- base desires," She finished lamely, not wanting to go into what those desires had appeared to be. "And the priestess was in love with someone else, so he tricked them into thinking they had betrayed each other, and the priestess died. The youkai lived on."

"The story reads as a cyclical tragedy," Toyama hummed. "That's the second half, if you can believe it. The first reads similarly, ending in a stalemate. I just wish I could pinpoint it. It's rather unique, not many people wrote about the love lives of priestesses back then, but the dating on the scroll is irrefutable. Any chance that legend is written down?"

"Oral history is a way of life on a shrine," Kagome demurred. "But I can speak to my grandfather about it." She was lying, she knew she was lying. She wouldn't ask her grandfather, she wouldn't even bring it up again, if she could help it. That the scroll existed outside of Sesshoumaru's collection was appalling enough, that she analyze it was asking too much.

"That would be wonderful."

No, no it wouldn't.

"I'll call tomorrow." Not a chance. "I've got to head home, my brother is making dinner tonight."

"Good evening then, Higurashi. Oh, and you need to find a costume. They tend to sell out fairly quickly in college towns."

She only bid him good evening and packed up her things, the paper with the portion of the poem getting crumpled up next to her laptop.


	70. Face Your Fears Day

Kagome stared at the note on the fridge. The guitar magnet held it in place (one of Souta's little touches) and obscured half of it, but she already knew what it was. He was out early, which she supposed was a good thing. He hadn't descended into her mother's 'up all night, sleep all day' predictions.

"Yasha!" She called out, already looking for where her brother had tossed the leash. Yasha trotted into the room, coming from what was no doubt her bedroom (rules were made to be broken anyway). After a week of heinously expensive food and a couple of baths, he almost looked like a dog again. She looked down and regarded him with a grin. "Want to go to the park?"

A resounding woof echoed in the small kitchen, sounding all the louder for the small space.

"Leash," She tried, mentally crossing her fingers. Yasha turned and wandered into the living room. She held her breathe, hoping. When Yasha returned, his leash was held gently in his mouth.

"Good boy!" She continued heaping praise on him, bending to scratch behind his ears and along the lines of his ribs. They weren't as prominent as they had been, but they were still too noticeable for her liking. She reminded herself, not for the first time, to pick up another bag of treats for him while she was out.

Taking the leash from his mouth, she was even more pleased to note there weren't any teeth marks in it and that he let it go easily, not engaging in tug of war like he did with his rope. Clipping it on, she felt another surge of gratitude when he didn't pull her towards the front door and chose to walk sedately by her side. Absently she grabbed the tube of tennis balls Souta had picked up and tucked it under her arm. Stuffing her feet into her shoes, she took extra care to lock up after stepping out.

It was a warm day, the sun beaming down to combat the traces of autumn already beginning to descend on Sapporo. Yasha didn't balk at getting in the car, and she offered more praise before rolling down the window and closing the door as gently as she could, afraid of scaring the dog.

The drive was pleasant, for the most part. It was still too early for traffic to be a real concern, and she'd gotten used to navigating the roads. Even driving wasn't such a terror anymore, her anxiety slowly dialing itself down every time she managed not to get in an accident.

Parking was still a nightmare, but only because it took her fifteen minutes to find a spot anywhere close to the park, having to settle for a parking garage several blocks away from the park itself.

"Exercise, right buddy?" She asked the back seat, remembering her unused gym membership. She certainly couldn't afford one now. The extra walking would do her some good, considering how little she did anymore. Grabbing the tube of tennis balls and sliding out, she opened the door and watched Yasha carefully as he got down.

"Sit," She giggled, smiling as the mutt sat. "Good boy." It never ceased to make her smile when she gave the command, and after explaining it to Souta, he always smiled when he heard her say it. The lash dragged the ground and she picked it up, wrapping it around her wrist twice for good measure.

When she joined the other pedestrians on the sidewalk, they parted around her, giving her (and Yasha) a wide berth. Yasha however, didn't disappoint, remaining by her side, shoulder bushing her leg ever now and again.

The park had scattered groups of people, mothers on play dates and students trying to study or relax. Kagome found a deserted corner and unlatched the leash on Yasha's collar.

"I'm trusting you not to run off. It would break Souta's heart," She warned. Yasha sat and waited patiently, tail rustling the dying grass. "Alright."

She barely had the ball free of the tube before Yasha was up and pacing back and forth, eyes on the bright green ball. She threw it gently, unsure of how far she wanted him to go. The dog bolted, running fast enough to catch the ball in his mouth.

"Bring it back!"

Yasha trotted back, tail wagging back and forth.

She threw harder, in different directions, and called out praise and laughed. After several days (weeks) of almost constant work, the game was a release, a reason to think about absolutely nothing but her dog and how far she could throw the ball. Yasha's barking, growing louder and deeper with each passing day, and her laughter rang out through the park until she was breathless, panting from exertion.

The unexpected, sudden shower of rain didn't even dampen her spirits. Yasha obediently trotted up to her, sitting and waiting for her to clip his leash back on and to tuck the tennis ball back into the tube.

"Not one lost," She told him, scratching behind his ear. Already the smell of wet dog was transferring to her. When she stepped back, Yasha shook himself and whined, a sure sign he wanted to get out of the rain and back to the house. Turning back to the west entrance of the park, she saw the park was virtually deserted aside from a few stragglers beneath umbrellas. Yasha whined again and she started moving, the rain beginning to seep past her sweater and into her skin, the first hint of a chill making her shiver.

Jogging back onto the sidewalk, she huffed a laugh when Yasha stopped and shook himself yet again, ears flapping as he did so. She was still laughing when they exited the park and walked towards the parking garage, the shower only getting worse by the minute and Yasha stopping and shaking over and over, slowing their walk down to a crawl.

What few people were braving the sudden storm gave her an even wider berth than before, safe under their umbrellas or newspapers, rushing to wherever they wanted to go. The sound of the rain hitting the sidewalk, of cars splashing through ever growing puddles grew louder and louder, a buzzing drone when she finally stepped into the safety of the car park. Yasha continued to stop and shake, whuffing indignantly.

"Big baby," She laughed. When she opened the back door to her car, she briefly wished she'd thought to bring a towel or a blanket. The interior would probably smell like wet dog for weeks.

"Treats will have to wait," She told him, slipping into the front seat and starting the car. The engine turned over smoothly and her hand shook as she reached to turn on the heating. "But we can slip you some broth into your food. Deal?"

It occurred to her that she probably needed more friends if she had resorted to conversing with her dog, especially when he didn't even bark in response.

Dogs. Ever the silent types.

Giving the car (and herself) a few minutes to warm up, she adjusted her shirt and looked for band to pull her hair back. Yasha keened and Kagome turned to pat him once. "Alright boy."

The rain had only worsened by the time she pulled out onto the road, a white sheet her wipers were having a hard time keeping up with. Kagome took a deep breath and focused on the road ahead of her, trying to keep her heart from jumping into her throat. As if sensing her disquiet, Yasha made a quiet keening sound in the back seat.

"We're good buddy," She promised, turning onto a side street. It would take longer to get home, but there were fewer cars and less traffic to worry about.

When her car jolted forward and her head struck the steering wheel, her hands and feet were beyond her control, stars bursting in her vision before white descended. Yasha howled and she heard herself screaming.

* * *

When she came to, it was under harsh lights and bright white walls. A groan erupted from her throat, feeling like sandpaper.

"Hey," Souta's voice said, brushing through the cobwebs in her skull. "Try not to move too much."

Kagome stilled and watched her brother moving next to her. "Souta."

"Take it easy sis. You scared the hell out of me."

"What happened?"

"Some asshole was speeding and rear ended you."

"Yasha?"

"At the vet's for observation. The officer said he was walking though. He should be fine."

"Car?"

"Beyond totaled. You spun out and stopped when you hit a parked car."

"Guess I'm attracted to immoveable objects," She mumbled, trying for a smile.

" _Don't_ -" Souta's already bloodshot eyes watered. "Don't joke about that. You-" He paused, took a deep breath. "You dislocated your shoulder and managed to fracture it. You knocked yourself out on the steering wheel-" Souta's words wobbled dangerously.

"M'sorry."

Souta sat back down in the chair, falling more than anything. Kagome wanted to ask how long she'd been in the hospital, but wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"I called mom and Shippou. He's bringing her down."

"How's she handling it?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to make us both move back in with her," Souta said, offering a wan smile. He leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, hands clasped. When he stared at his hands instead of her, Kagome realized she was probably a mess, and he was experiencing what she had as a child. It wasn't an experience she'd wish on anyone. "Sesshoumaru's waiting outside. He's been dealing with the insurance stuff and the police."

Oh. That was- She didn't know what to make of that, her emotions feeling as muffled as her brain. Groggy, lagging. Sesshoumaru was the patriarch, and she was still technically pack, wasn't she? Maybe he was only there because he was obligated. Sesshoumaru put his duty before anything else, even his personal feelings.

"He's really intense when he's pissed."

She probably deserved that.

"You're not saying anything."

"Don't know what to say," She admitted.

"Do you want to see him?"

Kagome tried to think about it, really she did. But her brain was still moving sluggishly, and she knew there was a correct answer. She just didn't know what it was.

"If he wants to see me," She finally said, opting for what seemed like the most neutral answer.

"Of course he wants to see you, idiot."

Kagome couldn't muster the energy for frustration, although the impulse was there, buried under all the cotton filling her skull.

"I'll go get him."

It took all of her willpower (muffled and weak as it was) to keep from calling out to her brother. She shifted again, and pain bolted through her torso, centered on her shoulder. Dislocated and fractured. It could have been a lot worse.

At least she'd survived.

She didn't even notice the door had opened or that Sesshoumaru was there until he sat down next to her, the sound of the chair moving jolting her back to awareness.

Neither of them spoke, and she wasn't sure who was supposed to break the silence first. But it did need to be broken, oppressive and awkward as it was to her, even under the thick fog of the narcotics.

"I finally got my license," She mumbled, trying for another smile.

If it was possible, Sesshoumaru managed to look even more closed off. She couldn't read anything at all in his expression, and she wondered if it was because of the painkillers, or far more likely, because he was still angry.

"I'm glad you're alright," He finally said. It sounded suspiciously like a goodbye, and her suspicions were confirmed when he stood, smoothing the legs of his slacks.

"I'm sorry," She blurted, the words tangling in her mouth, around her thick and clumsy tongue. Sesshoumaru paused and shook his head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. The other driver was at fault."

"Not for that," She mumbled, feeling oddly like she was going to cry. "For-" For any number of sins she couldn't seem to articulate. For running away, for ignoring the problem, for ruining everything.

Sesshoumaru didn't sit back down. "We'll discuss it later. Your family is here."

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that he was family, but the vaguely coherent part of her brain reminded her that she'd been the one to mess up, and if he didn't want to talk, or to be around her, it be wrong to force him.

He left, and Souta walked back in.

"You look awful. Mom's going to cry."

Kagome would have punched him, if she could have managed it. As it was, she was stuck, mostly immobile.

Her mother was followed by Shippou and Souten.

Everyone cried.


	71. Conflict Resolution Day

Kagome glared at the plastic cup holding her pills. "I'm not taking the painkillers."

"You will, or I'll call Shippou, and he'll come here and make you take them," Souta threatened.

"They're not required. Just the other two. It doesn't even hurt that much," She lied, fairly convincingly if she did say so herself.

"But it does hurt," Souta countered dourly.

"I can take something that won't have me drooling on myself," Kagome muttered darkly, sitting down at the table. Now if only she knew which one was the pain killer. "Souta, please. I don't want my head stuffed up when I speak to Toyama."

"Kagome, can't you just hold off on work for a few more days?"

"That's what I'm trying to do, but I need to give him my notes," She snapped. "It's not like I'm going in to work, he's just coming by to pick everything up."

"Fine," Souta bit out, slamming the pan he'd been cleaning into the sink. "I'm going for a walk."

"Mom-"

"You deal with mom!" Souta called out, the harsh timbre of his voice unmistakable. The front door slammed a moment later, shaking the duplex.

"He's still angry," Her mother observed quietly. Kagome turned and knew she pulled a face despite her attempt to at least appear neutral. Everything seemed beyond her control, especially her emotions.

"Did you guys actually talk about it?" There it was again, her tone nothing like what she'd been going for.

"I tried," Nodoka admitted, sitting down at the table. Kagome chose to wander over to the counter, intent on sorting through her pills. "He's just not listening."

Kagome pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering if maybe she shouldn't just take the pain killer after all. At least she'd have an excuse for being so confrontational and out of sorts. "Did you talk with him or at him?"

"Kagome-"

"Mom," She sighed, turning around and leaning against the counter. "He is determined to do this. Yes, he is young, but I was younger when I went to the past and dealt with-" She waved her hand.

"That's different. You didn't drop out."

"I had people trying to kill me on a regular basis," She countered bluntly. It was the first time she'd ever acknowledged it aloud to her mom, and she was determined to continue despite her horrified expression. "Souta is older than I was, and he's not in danger of youkai trying to steal his soul. He wants to be a musician."

"But why does he have to drop out?" Nodoka asked staring at her like she could actually give some sort of logical answer Souta hadn't.

"He has his reasons. And no, you may not agree with them. But since he's moved in, he's gotten a job and he pays bills. He isn't on drugs or doing whatever it is you're worried about him doing. He practices all the time, and he's good."

"Lots of musicians are good," Nodoka reminded her. "And they don't make enough to support themselves."

"It's his chance to take. He needs to try. If you belittle his efforts-" Kagome trailed off, not sure what would happen. That Souta had walked out was telling enough. His display only reinforced that if something didn't give soon, their family would be irreparably broken. "He's scared, mom. This is his dream and he's giving it everything he can. But he needs us to support him."

Nodoka stared down at the table, lost in her own thoughts. Kagome turned back to the counter and did her best to open the pill bottle one handed. It was a depressing effort, and she finally grabbed both and shuffled over to the table, sitting them in front of her mother.

"I need to know which is the painkiller."

Her mother popped the codeine bottle open and shook some out. Kagome took the matching one from the pile and dropped it into her mother's palm, then grabbed the remaining two and popped them in her mouth, wincing as she swallowed them dry.

"I feel like I'm losing the both of you," Nodoka admitted. "You came back to Tokyo, and you seemed so happy there. Then you left, and Souta followed. He dropped out and you got a car. Some days I'm so afraid of what will happen to both of you. When Souta called and said you were in the hospital-"

"We can't live in bubbles," Kagome reminded her, choosing to reclaim her spot against the counter. It was easier that way, putting distance between herself and her mother. If she sat down, if she took her mother's hand, she'd probably give in and agree with her, if only because her mother looked so worried. How had she missed it, back when she'd been younger? Surely her mother had been just as worried then. But she'd never noticed any hint of it. Or maybe she'd just been too oblivious, too wrapped up in herself. "And that's the only way we're ever going to be out of danger. I'm going to get another car, and Souta will pursue this as far as he's willing to go."

"I know," Nodoka sighed. "You're both-He's almost an adult, and you are. I just worry about both of you. Your futures, if you're happy."

"We're getting there," Kagome replied, unable to lie. "It's taking us both time to get to a place where we can live with our choices. But that's life, I think."

"And your choices?" Her mother prompted gently. "Leaving Sesshoumaru?"

"I'm getting there," She repeated. "It's just going to take some time."

"Are you happy without him?"

Kagome offered a tired smile. "I made a mistake, and that's something I have to learn to live with. He's already found someone he can be happy with. I'm not going to screw that up by being selfish. I've already hurt him enough."

"Sounds like there's more to the story than what you told me," Nodoka mused. She didn't look surprised, and Kagome didn't take exception. Her mother wasn't stupid.

"There was more to it than I was willing to admit," Kagome murmured softly. "Like I said, it's my choice to live with. I'm not-I can't force him to endure it with me."

"It's been strange," Nodoka said after several minutes of quiet contemplation. "How you don't talk about him on the phone anymore. I got used to hearing his name all the time, and then it just stopped."

Kagome shrugged, wishing she could hug her middle. She felt incredibly young again, knowing what her mother was asking. Sesshoumaru had permeated almost every aspect of her life. Even though she hadn't had contact with him for months, it felt like she was still trying to build around that gap. His reentry into her life hadn't changed that in the least. There was still a void where he'd been, one she had no hope of filling. Maybe spanning, someday, but she doubted anything would ever diminish that absence.

"I want you both to be happy," Her mother told her, voice gentling.

"We need to figure it out for ourselves. At the risk of sounding like I know anything about parenting, you just need to be supportive. He needs you to be supportive. Like you were for me."

"I understand."

The kitchen was silent for several minutes, and when it was almost unbearable, Kagome broke. A little. "He always goes to the kids playground a few blocks over. It's two blocks left and three blocks to the right. There are signs."

"Do you think he'll talk to me?"

"If you promise to listen," Kagome stressed.

She left the kitchen after that, going to her room and closing the door behind her. She fumbled with her phone and flipped it open one handed. Thanking every god listening that she could at least still operate it, she awkwardly tapped a message out to her brother, saying that their mother was on the way, and ready to listen to him.

Five minutes later the front door opened and closed. Kagome walked back out and poked her head into Souta's room. Empty. She crossed her fingers and hoped for the best. Even if everything else was still in flux, at least her family could figure themselves out. Hopefully.

The next half hour was an exercise in frustration as she attempted to make her home look less like it was inhabited by a student and a musician. Their notebooks and papers had blended together, and sorting the entire mess had her on the verge of tears by the time she finished. Socks under the couch and spare hoodies were tossed into his room along with his books, and she did her best to organize her work area at the kitchen table, lining up notebooks and the sheaf of notes she'd printed out.

She was in the process of making sure the jump drive with her research on it was organized coherently when her phone rang. Cursing a blue streak that surprised her, she fiddled with her pocket and finally freed her phone, trying not to fumble it.

"Hello?"

"Miss Higurashi?"

"Yes."

"This is Dr. Ueda's office. Your dog was brought in from an accident?"

"Y-Yes," Kagome stuttered, heart skipping a beat. "Yasha."

"Yes. There's a Mr. Inamine here attempting to pick him up. We like to check with the owners to make sure it's alright to release the pets into someone else's care."

Why was Sesshoumaru picking up her dog? "That's fine," She mumbled into the phone, although it didn't feel fine. She wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't in the general vicinity of 'fine'.

The vet, or assistant, said something perfunctory before the call disconnected. When she looked at her phone, she noticed the clock and cursed again, realizing the time. Toyama would be arriving soon, and she felt like she was still behind for some reason, some chore forgotten.

She was still compulsively organizing the documents on the jump drive when her doorbell rang. It rang twice more in the time it took her to close out the folder and pull the drive free, then again as she was crossing the living room to open the door.

"Toyama," She greeted, stepping to the side. "Sorry."

The man did a double take when he saw her, gaze sweeping over the bruises on her face and down, settling on her sling.

"It's alright," He assured her, stepping inside. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's no problem." She hated feeling so self conscious, leading him through the living room and into the kitchen. Poor student. What she wouldn't have given to be in her old apartment, meeting with him there. Or not meeting with him at all. Surely she could have just emailed him everything.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'll be fine. It wasn't as bad as it sounds," She lied. Her shoulder throbbed as if protesting it, punishing her for not taking the stupid pill when she'd had the chance. The irony wasn't lost on her.

"I printed out the pertinent information for the presentation, but I have all of my notes on this," She said, handing him the small drive. "I also uploaded all of the information on my project to it, in case you wanted to go over it. If you have any questions about it, feel free to call."

Toyama remained standing, first tucking the drive into his bag and then picking up the stack of notes. Her stomach bottomed out as he flipped through them, forehead creasing in thought.

"It seems to be in order," He started. "I know the last few days have been difficult for you. Thank you for taking the time for me."

"I know you're presenting in a couple of days," Kagome heard herself demurring.

"Do you know when you're coming back?"

"Thursday, maybe?" She began hesitantly. Toyama seemed dissatisfied with the answer. "Wednesday could work. I should be getting around okay by then."

"That's good." He tucked the sheaf of papers into one of the folders in his bag before closing it again. "You can continue to work on the project from home and email it to me."

She breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that she particularly relished the idea of working from home and missing class, but she wanted to keep her name on the project.

"Kagome, will you still be able to make the benefit?"

"Are-" She cut the statement off and took a deep breath. "Are you sure I should go? I don't know when the bruising will fade, and I need to use my sling for several weeks." Her appearance would completely detract from what he'd been wanting her there for. She doubted she'd manage to get pity donations for the department.

"We'll see where you're at then." As if the sling and bruises would disappear overnight. "Thank you again."

"It's no problem," She lied, still thinking about the benefit, about going back to work in a few days, about how much her shoulder hurt. "I'll see you in a few days."

Toyama made polite noises about staying seated while he saw himself out. Kagome ignored him and followed, closing the door behind him and waiting before spinning on her heels and stalking over to the couch. She was reminded that it was an awful idea to drop down into the cushions, a startled whimper escaping into the quiet of her home.

She was still trying to muster enough motivation to fight with the pill bottle when her doorbell rang again. A pained whimper escaped as she pushed herself up to her feet. Souta wouldn't knock, and Toyama couldn't need anything else from her. Sesshoumaru.

Her first impulse was to turn her back to the door and go to her room. When she remembered why Sesshoumaru was visiting, and that he had her dog, she shuffled to the door and opened it.

The image of Sesshoumaru and Yasha would stick in her mind forever, mostly because of the dog hair on the shoulder of his black jacket and what it implied.

"Come on in," She mumbled, stepping to the side. "Thanks for picking him up."

"Your brother asked-" Sesshoumaru began, and then stopped. Kagome wasn't used to him being so hesitant, hated that she'd been the one to cause it.

"Thank you," She repeated, bending down to scratch Yasha behind his ear. His tail thumped on the floor, bright pink tongue lolling out. "I hope he wasn't any trouble."

"He was fine. There was some concern before your brother gave them the number of the shelter for their records. According to the assistant, he's making good progress. They're impressed."

"That's good," Kagome said, straightening. "I'm sorry about all of this."

"It wasn't the way I wanted to find out you'd gotten your license," He admitted slowly.

"I think the weirdest thing is that I actually miss my car," She replied, giving a one shouldered shrug. "Between mom and Souta, it's like being a kid again. I already miss going to the store," She joked, a feeble attempt at humor.

"Driving under the influence is never a good idea."

"I haven't taken my pain medication."

"Why not?" Sesshoumaru's mouth pinched into a familiar frown.

"Toyama came by to pick up my research and arrange my time off. I wanted to be clearheaded for it."

Their awkwardness stretched into silence, and Kagome fumbled for something, anything to say. It was so stilted, the thing between them. Nothing at all like it had been. And it was too much to ask for it to go back to how it had been. She was perfectly aware of that. As much as she wanted to fix it, she didn't know how. A minefield stood between them, and she couldn't begin to guess what was safe, or if there even was a safe topic anymore.

"At the hospital," She began, her left arm circling her middle. "I didn't get a chance to explain."

"You'd just gotten in an accident."

Kagome reminded herself to count to ten. "I'm okay now. If you don't-If you would prefer not to talk about it, I understand."

Sesshoumaru shifted forward, then back, as if readying to leave. Kagome knew that she couldn't protest it if he chose to go. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to just give her a chance, and she chewed the inside of her lip to bite it back, keep it in. When Sesshoumaru walked over to the small table in the kitchen, she allowed herself a moment of hope.

"You should sit down. You're pale."

"The weather," She replied nonsensically, moving to sit across from him. For a moment neither of them spoke, and she felt his eyes on her. Unable to meet his gaze, she kept hers on the table, examining the grain.

"I'm sorry, for what I did in Tokyo. After-" She took a deep breath. The aborted impulse to shrug left her feeling antsy. How to apologize without crossing the lines they'd both created? Her heart clenched painfully when she thought of Toorima. How to say 'I made a mistake' without being selfish about it? "I know that my behavior was childish, and I reacted badly. When I left, I didn't do anything right. I didn't tell anyone, and that left you to explain it to the others. I'm sorry I put you in that position."

Sesshoumaru was silent, and Kagome knew it was nothing less than what she deserved. When she finally looked up, his face was an expressionless mask, giving her no clue how to proceed.

"I know we can't be like we were, and I don't expect you to pretend that nothing happened. I understand if you don't want to see me now, or ever, really. I hurt you and mishandled everything. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I couldn't-" The tears were starting, her eyes stinging. "I know sorry won't make it better."

It was several minutes before Sesshoumaru finally sagged, his shoulders dropping in increments. "You always made your intentions clear," He told her, not without a hint of chagrin. "And I ignored that. If I had respected your boundaries, you would not have been put in such an awkward position. We both-" He paused, looking inward. "We both made mistakes."

Kagome nodded, understanding that forgiveness wasn't implicit in the admission.

"A part of me wants to say I need time," He began, voice growing more quiet. "But your accident only serves as a reminder that life sometimes takes chances away."

"Don't-Don't let this make a decision for you," She insisted, the words tripping out as she gestured to her arm. "I'm fine."

Sesshoumaru scoffed. "You're taking time off from work."

Kagome felt a surge of irrational anger bloom. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sesshoumaru visibly straightened, his lips turning down. "Nothing. I apologize."

Kagome almost opened her mouth to demand an explanation, then thought better of it. It was perfectly obvious what he'd meant, and she'd be an idiot to miss it. A sigh escaped, her stomach twisting in warning. "My accident isn't a sign we need to be friends, Sesshoumaru. If you need time, take it. If anything, I've proved how durable I am."

"I think it will take time for us both to become easy with one another again," He declared, not looking at all uncomfortable to admit things had changed so much. Kagome envied him. "But if you're willing to try, I am."

Kagome thought for a moment, torn between an immediate yes and telling him she needed time for herself, as unfair as it might be. She settled for neutrality, hoping for the best.

"Don't pretend. If it's not okay, say something."

"I expect the same of you," He added.

"Deal."

It was several indeterminable pauses later than Kagome realized neither of them was going to move to speak, to act on said deal.

"I think I need to lay down for awhile."

It was an offer of escape, and she didn't feel betrayed by the way Sesshoumaru latched onto it. Her fist didn't clench when he declared he'd see himself out, and she didn't follow him to the door like she had Toyama.

The sound of the car pulling out of her driveway filtered in. She tried to open the bottle of painkillers and failed, clinging top the notion that it was the bottle causing her sense of helplessness, and nothing else.


	72. Evaluate Your Life Day

Kagome ground her teeth together, determined not to tell Toyama exactly what she thought of him. Words buzzed inside of her head, a swarm of angry, resentful things she could say, that part of her felt she _should_ be saying. Her professor seemed oblivious, or she'd just become that good of an actor.

"And I expected the story to be in your files, but there was nothing. I didn't want to bother you while you were taking time to recuperate, but I would have loved to see some progress on it."

"I apologize," She lied. "My family mother and grandfather are busy with the upkeep of the shrine, and they live in Tokyo. Getting anything more than the basic story has been difficult."

"Even the basics would have been preferable to nothing Kagome," Toyama admonished. "I would like to see how it's altered from my source. It would be an amazing project, but I need more than one example."

"I understand."

Toyama rubbed his forehead like he was the one warding off an oncoming migraine. "Call your family tonight. I want at least an outline by tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," She agreed.

"And please ask them if there's any corroborating evidence they might have."

"Yes, sir."

He paused, looking like he was about to demand something else when he shook his head and offered a tired smile. "I apologize. The benefit is making everyone's lives difficult. We all want to have the most interesting research."

"It's understandable," She told him, her anger not dissipating completely, but cooling in the face of his apology and obvious distress. "I imagine everyone will be vying for donations."

"Will you be able to make it?"

"To garner the pity donations?" She joked, offering a weak smile. "I'll try."

"Just for an hour or two," He reminded her. "You can leave early."

It didn't sound at all like an offer, but a command. Kagome nodded, unsure of how to politely respond. The entire speech was hitting all of her buttons, making her want to remind him that she'd come into work still bruised and in pain, forgoing the painkillers she was learning to appreciate.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Kagome uttered a polite goodbye and left the room, determined to put some space between herself and Toyama. The jewel story had apparently become something of an obsession while she wasn't looking, and he'd put her in charge of it, however informally.

At least she could write down a bare bones story, she told herself as she gathered her things. Her new messenger bag slid over her shoulder much more easily than her backpack, and felt lighter for the lack of her computer. Now if only she could manage getting into a sweater on her own. Having Souta help her was mortifying.

A knock on the door startled her. The room was empty of her coworkers, all of them already gone for the day. When she finally got the door open, Sesshoumaru was waiting politely on the other side.

"Your brother mentioned you returned to work today."

"You and Souta talk?" Kagome asked blankly.

"He sent a text to all of us, I think. Perhaps his way of trying to rally back up."

"I work at a desk," Kagome sighed. "The doctor said it was fine."

"I'm not here to tell you to stop," He informed her in a clipped voice. "I thought a car would be preferable to the bus."

Kagome nodded, feeling tired. After dealing with Toyama and his demands, being faced with Sesshoumaru just felt like another hurdle to jump. The bus might have actually been a safer option. "Thank you."

"Everyone else is gone," He observed as she closed and locked the door behind her.

"Toyama wanted to talk to me about a project and the benefit."

"I received an invitation," He said, tone giving nothing away. "Are you going?"

"He wants me there," She admitted. "I don't think I can get out of it."

Sesshoumaru hummed, a noncommittal sound that hinted at nothing. Kagome told herself she didn't miss him trying to get her out of work.

"And your project?"

At that she let out an indelicate snort. "He found a story about the jewel. I made the mistake of mentioning that it was-Is, technically, part of the shrine's history. Apparently I missed the part where it was an actual project now instead of just a random idea he had."

"It was significant, for it's time. It's not unusual for someone else to have passed the story down."

"I know," She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I just wish I hadn't said anything about it. He wants me to write down the story grandpa told me, and I'm just-" She stopped, wondering if she was admitting too much, presuming too much of their tenuous deal. "It's a difficult subject for me."

Sesshoumaru held the door for her and she stepped out into the cool air. It was already dusk, letting her know exactly how long Toyama had been berating her about the story.

"Would you like to get dinner?"

Kagome wanted to go home and curl up in her blankets. "Honestly? It's been a long day, and I still need to write up something that will sound like I wasn't there," She admitted. "I'm sorry," She added politely, not sure if she was at all. A ride was bad enough, dinner would be an exercise in attrition. Even if she blamed herself, she wasn't that much of a masochist.

"I understand."

Kagome allowed him to lead her to the parking deck, and then open the door for her. The drive was quiet, and she scoured her mind for anything at all to discuss. The dull throbbing in her shoulder only made it all worse now that she had nothing to distract her from it.

When he pulled up to her duplex, she was surprised that he got out and opened her door, offering his hand. They hadn't touched since she'd first seen him in the hospital, both of them acting as if there was a barrier between them.

"Thanks," She managed, biting back a whimper when he tugged her to her feet. Pain flared in her shoulder down her side.

"You don't look well," He informed her quietly.

"I just need to take one of the painkillers. I skipped this morning's, they fuzz my head up."

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm just going to write the story and get some sleep, but thank you."

Sesshoumaru's expression didn't falter, and Kagome wrote the questions off to politeness. He did however, watch her until she was inside and the door closed behind her. She heard the car door open and close and then pull away.

Yasha was sitting on the couch, and Kagome let her bag slide off onto the cushion next to him before going to the kitchen.

Souta had taken note of her issue with the child proof bottles and mercifully remained quiet about it. But a baggie of her pills was stuck to the fridge by a new magnet, this one of an emu with sunglasses. Kagome smiled at it, recognizing Souta's attempt for what it was.

There were clean glasses by the sink, another small kindness so she wouldn't have to reach into the cabinets. She ignored the irony of the only easy thing she'd done all day being pouring herself a glass of water and taking her pills. Toyama was an idiot not to realize that one handed typing was the antithesis of productivity.

Maybe she could just wait for the painkillers to kick in and edit it in the morning.

Ignoring her laptop, she went back into the living room and carefully dropped down onto the couch next to Yasha.

"We have a rule against this, you know that right?" She asked, looking over at him. Yasha looked duly unimpressed by the statement, his head not even moving to acknowledge it. "Did Souta at least feed you before he went to work?"

Yasha didn't move, looking utterly apathetic.

"I'll assume that means yes," She grumbled, letting her eyes close as her head fell back. "Toyama is a jerk. I was pretty sure I made it clear I didn't want to work on the jewel story. And he barely looked at me the other day. He _emailed_ me about coming in today, not even a phone call." Which had been thoroughly demoralizing. She hadn't even warranted a phone call or a text. "I wanted more time. Then he lectured me about it for half an hour."

Once she'd started, she was on a roll. The story, the hard work she'd done, the benefit, all of her frustration came out. Even as the painkiller began to take hold and her vocabulary began to falter, she continued on.

"I could quit," She muttered, imagining leaving nothing on the jump drive but her notice. "Become a wandering poet. If Souta can do it, I can too, right? At least I wouldn't have to stand and listen to some jerk justify treating me like I'm barely there even though he's depending on me to make him look good."

There was a knock on the door. For a hysterical, drugged moment, Kagome wondered if somehow Toyama had heard her.

Not possible. She'd probably just gotten too loud and the nice old woman next door (who'd baked a casserole for her family after she'd gotten out of the hospital) wanted to tell her to keep it down. Forcing herself to her feet, she wobbled and stumbled to the front door, leaning against the jamb to open it.

"Sesshoumaru?"

His apathetic mask completely fell, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling like she'd done something stupid. She'd resent it, if she wasn't too busy wondering what he was doing on her doorstep. "I brought food."

"I-Food?" She mumbled. Sesshoumaru lifted his hand, a brown bag in hand. "Oh."

"You didn't seem in the mood to cook, and Souta said he had a late shift tonight."

"Oh. Thank you." She mumbled for a minute, still feeling physically off balance. "Come on in. Sorry I'm a mess, took my pills. The codeine hit me really hard." She snapped her mouth shut, flushing when she realized she'd been babbling.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Breakfast. I thought if I worked through lunch I could leave earlier," She added, huffing. "I was wrong." It needled the rant she'd just left off, inciting another wave of anger. "You'd think Toyama would remember I only have the one hand to work with."

Sesshoumaru was moving around the kitchen pulling down plates and then sorting through the drawers to find the silverware.

Kagome dropped down into one of the chairs at the table, watching him move. It was surreal, watching him in her kitchen. She'd grown used to Souta cooking, and even Shippou coming to visit. Sesshoumaru just looked-Big. Too big for her tiny kitchen and tiny home. Out of place and ill fitting.

He served up food and sat the plates down. Plates, plural. Kagome stared at his as he sat down, wondering if she was hallucinating. Or dreaming. That it was all a dream was more likely than him taking the time to eat dinner with her, accident or no.

"How is your story coming?"

She gave herself whiplash looking up so quickly, her brain feeling like it was bobbing around in her skull. "What?"

"The story of the jewel?" He prompted. She tried not to watch his movements as he picked up his chopsticks.

"I figured I'd wait for the medication to kick in and then try to write it," She admitted. "Then edit in the morning."

"That seems risky."

"It's better than starting with once upon a time, a girl was looking for her cat and got dragged into a dry well by a zombie centipede woman. Then she was captured by the locals, attacked again, bitten by aforementioned zombie youkai and a magic wish granting crystal came out of her stomach, starting a war."

Sesshoumaru paused, staring at her with something she would have labeled disbelief or wonder, once. Now she had no idea what it was. "Inu Yasha never told me that it was within you, only that you had it."

Kagome nodded. She still had a scar on her side, so old and faded it was barely noticeable even in the best light. "Anything I think of won't work as something I just heard from my grandpa. Magatsuhi, Midoriko, Kikyo and Naraku, Inu Yasha, I can't write about them. But without them, it's just an enchanted piece of glass. There's no rhyme or reason to it, no moral. It's just a magic crystal that granted wishes."

"And if they were included, what would the moral be?" He asked, watching her intently. Kagome shrugged her shoulder.

"I don't know," She lied. Sesshouaru's head tilted, and Kagome recognized the prompt. Deciding to ignore it, she jumped topics completely. "How's Toorima?"

Sesshoumaru froze. There was no other word for it.

"I'm sorry," She muttered, wondering if she'd crossed a line.

"How do you know Toorima?" He asked, setting his chopsticks down.

"Your mother introduced us." She was trying so desperately for nonchalant, but she was positive her voice was betraying her. Sesshoumaru was shaking his head. Obviously she was being transparent.

"Of course," He bit out, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't know how she is. I have no reason to know how she is."

"But the cabinets," Kagome blurted. If it was possible, Sesshoumaru looked even more perturbed than he had before, eyes narrowed and lips pulled down in a frown.

"What does Toorima have to do with the cabinets?"

"Araki had to replace the cabinets."

"I still don't understand what she has to do with the cabinets," Sesshoumaru repeated, voice chilly.

"It sounded like she didn't like them-" Kagome stopped. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

Sesshoumaru pushed his plate to the side and braced his elbows on the table, a familiar motion to her. He'd never cared about the etiquette, not that she could remember. He was beginning to look like he belonged at her table, and it was awful, for so many reasons she refused to examine.

"My mother intimated to a few that Toorima and I had an understanding. There is no such understanding. I have spoken to her three times in a hundred years, and while she is admirable in her own way, she would not fit our pack."

Kagome's train of thought contracted, focusing on the words 'our pack'. That distinction felt far more important than anything about Toorima. Our pack. If nothing else, she hadn't lost that. "Oh."

Sesshoumaru appeared at a loss, her lack of answer not giving him anything to work with. She knew that, but likewise, she was floundering, unsure of what was safe and what wasn't.

"Your brother lives with you?" He finally prompted.

"Souta needed some space from mom after he dropped out."

"They seemed happy the other day."

Kagome smiled a little at that, grateful that her family was beginning to get itself back together. "Mom was upset and worried. Souta's determined. It wasn't a good mix for them, I think. I'm glad they're figuring it out."

"Why did he drop out?"

"He wants more time to pursue his music. He said school interfered with that."

"I can see why your mother would be worried," Sesshoumaru hummed. "It's a big decision, and difficult to come back from."

"He's good though," Kagome defended. "He'll make it."

Sesshoumaru nodded, relaxing in his seat. "And your dog?"

"I didn't name him," Kagome chuckled, finishing the food on her plate and pushing it to the side. "Souta brought him home from the shelter. Yasha's a good dog."

"I'd do any number of things to be there when you say that in my brother's hearing," Sesshoumaru chuckled, looking almost relaxed again.

"Not happening," Kagome sputtered, laughing. "Oh! Can you imagine me telling Yasha to sit around him?" Her laughter deepened until her eyes stung, the harbinger of mirthful tears. "It's awful, I should feel worse imagining it."

"Perhaps, but some things remain as they ever were," Sesshoumaru chuckled, actually smiling. "And Tala would find the humor in it."

Kagome's laugh bled into a sigh, her cheeks aching from smiling. "Sometimes I forget how funny we all were. Subjugation beads and kitsune tricks and overblown egos. It's a wonder we didn't all kill each other before getting to Naraku."

"Not for lack of trying," Sesshoumaru reminded her. "I was a bit out of control back then," He admitted a moment later, a self indulgent smile tilting the corners of his lips.

"You know, I hadn't meant you specifically. It was all of us. But yeah, you were kind of a pompous jerk."

Sesshoumaru gave her a haughty stare, chin tilting up.

"Now all you need to do is refer to yourself in the third person," She chuckled.

"No," He muttered, coloring slightly. "One of the many enjoyable aspects of progress is relaxed speech."

Kagome sniggered, bracing her chin in her hand. "Come on, it was only a joke. Not one of us can claim we weren't immature and crazy back then. Even you."

"Name one instance not including my brother."

"You had an unnatural love of punting Jaken like a soccer ball. I barely ever saw you and even I knew about it."

"You left a string of hanyou shaped craters wherever you traveled," Sesshoumaru reminded her.

"Hey, I owned up to being a kid," Kagome told him, waving her hand in dismissal. "You're the one pretending we weren't all kids."

"I was centuries old."

"You looked like you were barely legal," She snorted. "Youkai mature more slowly physically and emotionally, right? More in time with your physical development?"

Sesshoumaru considered her words and tilted his chin in agreement. "Correct."

"So you were still pretty much a kid. Even Sango and Miroku were, and they were a little older than I was. And I had just turned fifteen."

Sesshoumaru's expression fell, sobered almost instantly. "I'd forgotten how young you were back then. I'm not sure I ever realized you were only a few years older than Rin and Kohaku. You never seemed that way."

Kagome shrugged, unsure why the realization was so striking. "I survived though. Most of us did."

Sesshoumaru made an ambivalent noise. "Knowing the time you came from now though, makes it seem-" He paused, growing pensive. "As if you shouldered more than could have been asked. In retrospect, your efforts become that much more."

More what? She couldn't help but wonder what he saw, knowing how young she'd been, where she'd been coming from.

"It's every girls dream to get caught up in a fairy tale," She reminded him in a dry voice, needing to get away from her own curiosity. Sesshoumaru offered a rueful grin and she forced herself to relax, surprised she had tensed at all. "I survived it intact. And I still managed to pass my exams," She added, smiling. "Considering I was out for over half the year, my teachers thought it was a miracle."

Yasha interrupted whatever Sesshoumaru was going to say next, his muzzle resting on top of the table, eyes darting back and forth between her and Sesshoumaru.

"Time for a walk?" She hummed, scratching behind the dog's ear.

"I can take him."

"It's alright-"

"You need to get started on your project," Sesshoumaru reminded her, getting up and stretching. "And Yasha and I have come to an understanding."

"I'm not even going to ask," Kagome laughed. "But thank you. And thanks for-" She waved her hand. "Dinner and reminding me the past wasn't all doom and gloom. It'll make it easier."

Sesshoumaru offered a silent nod in response, already pulling the dog's leash off of the counter. Kagome watched, utterly amused with the unlikely pair. Yasha sat obediently as Sesshoumaru clipped his collar on and followed Sesshoumaru's quietly spoken directions. When the door closed behind them, Kagome shook her head.

She doubted it could be as simple as it looked. Even if Sesshoumaru was helping her, it didn't mean things were right between them. But she was at a loss for how to confront if, if it should be at all. Maybe they'd said all they could. Sesshoumaru, for all that he had changed, probably didn't ascribe to coming back to the same subject over and over. He'd said his piece, and maybe that was it. Case closed, move on.

Ignoring the part of herself that felt as if the conversation had been left incomplete, she opened her laptop and booted it up. The whir of the machine settled into the quiet drone of a fan, and she opened a blank document.

"It wasn't all bad," She reminded herself, beginning to type.

She was on the second page when she paused, words jumbling in her head as she sorted through them. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back and tried to think.


	73. Information Overload Day

The alarm started buzzing, almost right in her ear. Kagome reached for it, hissing as pain bolted along her right side. Grumbled cursing got stuck in her too dry mouth, came out in grunts. Scooting up using her feet, she reached over and slammed her hand on the off button.

"Kagome, you okay?" Her brother's voice called from the kitchen.

She couldn't remember getting to bed. She couldn't remember falling asleep.

Scrubbing her face, she untangled herself from the blankets and realized she was still wearing her shirt and slacks from the day before, but her sweater was draped over the foot board, and her sling was on her dresser. Sliding off and checking herself, she only felt groggy, a slight crick in her neck from sleeping in a strange position.

Souta was in the kitchen making toast and eggs. There were papers all over the table, random scribblings covering them in her brother's handwriting.

"Sorry, I got a new song idea," Souta muttered, rushing over and trying to sweep the mess into a pile.

"It's okay," Kagome mumbled. Her laptop was under the mess, closed and charging. "When did you get home last night?"

"Late," Souta answered, smirking at her. "Sesshoumaru texted saying you'd gone to bed and Yasha had been walked, so I jammed with Yoichi after we got off. You need help getting your sling on?"

"I think I'll be okay," Kagome lied, brow furrowed in thought. "I don't think I should take the painkillers anymore."

"Kagome," Souta began. She could hear the argument readying itself.

"I can't remember getting to bed last night," She told him. "And I feel groggy, like my head is full of cotton." Her entire body felt lethargic, if she was being honest with herself.

"Well it was a whole one. I've been giving you halves. I just figured you'd want something stronger after working all day," Souta declared as he turned the burner off and began sliding eggs onto the plates. "I can start halving them again. And if you feel groggy, take a day. Toyama should understand. It's not like you should have gone back so quickly anyway."

"I guess," Kagome mumbled absently, already heading back to her room. The last thing she remembered was working on the jewel story. Gods, she hoped she hadn't done anything stupid. Even searching her memory, there was nothing but a terrifying blank.

Thinking about it made it easier to dress herself, the pain barely registering as she went over the myriad things she could have said that would destroy the tenuous bridge she and Sesshoumaru were building.

Souta popped his head in the door without knocking, offering her a grin as she pulled her sling awkwardly over her head. "Called your boss and explained that I'd given you a full dose and you've been hugging the toilet ever since."

"You didn't," Kagome demanded, face burning with mortification.

"He said take the day, but email the outline when you're feeling up to it."

"Souta, please tell me you didn't say that."

"It got you the day off," He reminded her before closing the door with a quick snap.

"Payback will be unexpected and terrible!" Kagome shouted. She continued muttering under her breath, worried about her boss' reaction when she returned the next day while trying not to worry about the night before. It was an abject failure, both making her want to go back to bed and just pretend her life was anyone else's but hers.

"Breakfast is getting cold!"

Souta was certainly in a chipper mood, and it only exacerbated her own. Ignoring him, she stalked out of her room and into the bathroom, brushing her teeth and gargling. Her hair was a mess, but she supposed it didn't matter. Likewise, she should probably just change into her sweatpants.

Souta's papers had been moved when she walked back out, replaced with the plates and glasses of juice.

"So-" He started as she sat down. "I got a gig."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Last minute opening Shion got for me."

"That's amazing," Kagome breathed, ire forgotten. "When is it?"

"Halloween. It'll be a decent crowd too. I was hoping you could come out."

Kagome knew her expression shifted, saw her brother's shoulders sagging. "I've got the benefit that night," She murmured. "Toyama's not giving me a lot of choice about it."

Souta didn't even try to argue it, which was worse than if he had.

"He said I could leave early though. I can come see you," She added.

"My sets kinda early."

"What time?"

"Eight. I'm only opening, you know? Not the main act."

The benefit started at seven. There was no way she could spend any amount of time there and still get to the venue on time.

"I'll try my best," She promised.

"Swear," Souta asked, face growing serious. "At least one song." Kagome nodded, not trusting her voice to give away her own doubt. Souta visibly brightened, his smile coming back. "Think I should tell mom?"

"I think you should call her right now," Kagome agreed. Their breakfast went cold while Souta told first their mother, and on her insistence, their grandfather.

By the time Kagome finally got to her laptop, she was positive Toyama was going to kill her. She still needed to finish her outline and edit, and it would take an hour or two at least, maybe longer if she asked for Souta's help.

The document had been saved to her desktop instead of her usual folders, neatly titled 'jewel story'. When she opened it up, it was still two pages, the words she'd typed still there. She read over how far she'd gotten and breathed a sigh of relief. Not bad, per say. Not concise, but not bad. Whatever else, the painkillers hadn't completely ruined her writing.

It took another hour before she finished the rough draft. It was definitely more than a simple outline, but it wasn't the entire story either. It stopped, an abrupt end with Inu Yasha being pinned to the Goshinboku and Kikyo being cremated, the jewel disappearing into the fire.

It was probably as close as she was ever going to get to telling the story to an outsider. Hopefully it would be enough for Toyama to cross reference with his source, whatever it was.

Saving and exiting, she clocked on her browser and immediately jumped to her email. Seeing several new emails, she frowned at the names.

Inu Yasha, Kouga, Shippou, Ginta-

Sesshoumaru.

And all of them had the subject 'jewel story'.

Frowning, she clicked on Inu Yasha's email. It was entirely blank with an attachment. She downloaded and clicked it open.

Her paltry three page overview was dwarfed by the twenty page document. There was no greeting, nothing to tell her why he'd set her the email (though she could hazard a guess), nothing but the beginning of the story, where he'd first heard about the jewel and it's powers.

Practically devouring the words, she only stopped once, whimpering when she leaned on her elbows and was reminded of her shoulder. Souta came in and dutifully poured a glass of water and gave her half of one of her pills, then went back to the living room.

Once finished, Inu Yasha's words felt like a weight, heavy on her shoulders. It was a perspective she had tried to imagine and fallen so short of. His relationship with Kikyo was nothing like she'd imagined, so much deeper than she'd given credit for. And his relationship with her had been so different, though no less life altering. His feelings about Miroku and Sango, Shippou and even his brother had come out, memories from a different perspective given their story new meaning.

Without hesitating, she clicked went back to her inbox and sorted through, downloading the rest of the attachments and opening them. She read Shippou's next, startled by the difference. Shippou had been a child when the jewel had been a part of his life, and the distance of time hadn't altered the distinctly child like tone of the memories. Shippou's words bled into Souten's story below them, shorter for her lack of involvement. Even so, her life had been irrevocably altered by it, first through her brothers and then through her quest for vengeance.

Kouga's was a revelation, Ayame's startling. Ginta and Hakkaku's combined perspectives gave their pack new dimensions, a depth she hadn't taken the time to consider.

It was only with slight trepidation that she opened the document Sesshoumaru had emailed her. It was shorter than the rest, but she took them all the more slowly for it's brevity. Unlike the others, he told the story from the beginning, from the little his father had handed down to him. It didn't mention Magatsuhi's love for Midoriko, but the lust for power. His contact with Naraku had been more involved, in some ways, their dealings shifting from using one another to becoming enemies. His discovery of Rin, or Rin's discovery of him, was laid out in detail. A curiosity of the jewel turned into loathing, a need to be the best altered, shifted into the determination to be powerful enough to protect.

By the time she finished, her eyes ached from staring at the screen too long.

"You okay?" Souta asked from the couch, fingers moving over the strings on his guitar.

"Have you ever read a fable and come up with a different answer than everyone else?"

Souta put his guitar to the side and strode in, Yasha following and sitting at her feet. Souta pulled a chair out and sat, elbows braced on the table. "Like hearing a song and getting a different meaning?" He asked. She nodded, figuring it was the same thing, maybe. "All the time."

"If the well and the jewel were just a story to you, what would the moral be?"

Souta's expression grew pensive. "Back when you were still going through it, I hated it. Mom was always worried, and you were off having this great adventure with youkai and magic. I was really jealous."

"I didn't know," Kagome murmured, shocked. It had never occurred to her that Souta had been jealous, had even realized what was going on.

Souta shook his head, frowning. "I got older though, and even though we didn't really talk about it much, I knew it was something you had to do. And you did. I remember you coming back with bruises and cuts, or crying, tired. I mean, you looked awful, especially near the end. But you always went back. I guess the moral would be determination, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"The story didn't end for us. After, I mean we all knew you were hurting pretty bad. I'd hear you crying sometimes. But there was still an after, if that makes sense. Life continued even after you beat the bad guy. You found the others again. I dunno," He declared quietly, contemplative. "Maybe it's that it doesn't end. Or that it just changes. You just have to keep going."

"A fount of wisdom," Kagome joked in a weak voice, the words striking a chord in her.

"Hey, you're the one that's got the degree," Souta huffed. "I just gave an opinion."

"Thanks," Kagome murmured. "I appreciate it."

Souta looked ready to get up for a moment before settling again. "What moral did you take from it?"

"The wrong one."

"Can there be a wrong moral?"

Kagome sighed, feeling like she'd run an emotional gauntlet. "I think so."

Souta left her alone after that, alone with her thoughts and the words of her friends weaving in and out of her head.

The outline was ready, she could send it and just be done with it for the day. But it felt dishonest. Opening the document, she stared at the words. Her words that weren't her words at all. She highlighted the entire text and hit the delete key, feeling lightheaded and-Happy, maybe.

The document filled again, slowly at first and then more and more quickly as the memories gained momentum.

When she finished editing and sent it off, she still wasn't sure what the moral was, exactly. But it was better than what she'd always assumed.


	74. Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month

"Inu Yasha?" Kagome sputtered when she opened the door. Inu Yasha was standing, shoulders hunched and hands jammed into his pockets.

"Well, you gonna let me in or do I have to wait for your brother?" The hanyou snorted. Kagome stepped to the side and watched him, grasping for words to say. Anything. Their last meeting still lingered in her mind, more than it had before. His words, his version of their tale was only making it that much more difficult to ignore what he'd said in her apartment, no matter how angry he'd been, or how much she'd hated him for it.

Now she didn't know what to do.

"I heard about your accident," He said, closing the door when she didn't make a move towards it.

"I'm fine, it wasn't anything big," She mumbled, stepping back.

"You played pinball with your car," He muttered, rolling his eyes. "That's pretty damn big."

"I only dislocated my shoulder."

"Shippou said you fractured it too," Inu Yasha huffed, sounding annoyed.

"It was minor," She stressed, running a hand through her hair. "We came out of it fine."

"We?"

Kagome groaned. She'd imagined Inu Yasha's reaction to her dog, but she hadn't considered it with any seriousness. "Before you say anything, Souta named him."

"You got a dog," Inu Yasha said, voice flat.

"Souta took him to the park, but yeah. He brought home a dog," She mumbled.

"And named it?"

"Yasha."

Inu Yasha's reaction was an underwhelming, amused snort escaping as he toed off his shoes and walked over to the couch. "It smells like dog."

"I gave up on keeping him off the couch," She admitted, unsure of what to do. Her living room was still under furnished, the couch the only place to sit. Inu Yasha seemed to sense her indecision, patting the cushion next to him. When she made no move, he muttered something under his breath.

"Come here," He commanded. Kagome slowly made her way over, stomach knotting with every step. When she finally eased herself down, Inu Yasha didn't attempt to touch her.

"I know I was out of line last time," He began, staring ahead.

"A little. You were kind of right too."

"Words I never thought I'd hear you say." His voice was so dry Kagome allowed herself a quiet giggle, her body beginning to relax into the couch. "I'm serious though. I'm sorry. I didn't have a right to yell at you like that. Or to say the things I did."

"I think-" Kagome started, groping for words. "It was harder, because it was you saying it."

"To be honest, I didn't fly thousands of miles just to yell at you," Inu Yasha admitted, relaxing back into the cushions. "I just lost my temper. I was going to try and be calm about it."

"I'm not sure we're capable of calm with each other," Kagome joked.

"Maybe," Inu Yasha agreed in a solemn voice, sobering. Suddenly her joke didn't seem so funny anymore. "Sesshoumaru called me the other night, asking if I could type up the jewel story and send it to you for some project you're working on. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Or about yelling at you."

"It was strange, reading it from your perspective," She admitted quietly. "I'd never, it was stupid I guess, that I hadn't considered it."

"That's part of why I couldn't stop thinking about it," Inu Yasha declared, removing his necklace and tossing it onto the coffee table. His human guise faded, and he was Inu Yasha in the way he'd always been in her memories, not human at all. The difference felt important, as though they were meeting on equal terms again. His ears swiveled down, an indicator of his mood that she'd forgotten. "It was my perspective. And I've had centuries to think about it. But you've only had a few years to deal with yours. It didn't occur to me at the time. I just-I still have days where it's hard to remember, and you haven't had the kind of time I have to deal with it. It's easy to forget that."

Kagome didn't know what to say, didn't have anything to offer for his observation. They remained silent for minutes or hours. Inu Yasha's only movement was to tilt his head back and look up at the ceiling.

"I think after everything we went through, only an idiot would want to fall in love," He declared, unable to meet her gaze.

"You did," She pointed out.

"I had four centuries to deal with it," Inu Yasha snorted. "And even then I danced around it by being an asshole."

"That's sort of your M.O."

"Yours was acting," He replied, making her flinch. Inu Yasha glanced down at her, looking-He looked sorry. His regret was surreal, in a way. Something she'd never thought she'd see. "You acted like it was okay, and we both know it wasn't."

"We were young."

"That makes it worse though, doesn't it?" He asked in a quiet voice. "We both went through so much, and we were so goddamn young. You were _fifteen_. Fifteen year old girls don't get thrown into grudge matches disguised as love triangles. They read about them or watch movies about it and say the whole thing's romantic. I have kids," He reminded her. "It kills me to think of them going through what we did."

"We survived," She reminded him, remembering saying the words to Sesshoumaru only a few nights before.

"I guess I'm trying to say I get it though. I get why you don't want it. Only a moron wouldn't be scared. Sometimes I forget how scared I was when I first started falling for Tala, how hard it was to trust that she wouldn't-" Inu Yasha paused, his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed. His voice was thick when he continued. "It easy to forget how difficult it was to trust what I was feeling, how much I didn't want it."

Kagome stared at her friend, astonished. Inu Yasha had admitted fear before, but not like that. And his relationship with Tala seemed like the ideal marriage. They were partners, two people that belonged together, were happy together. Even knowing the stories, it was difficult to imagine either of them fighting their feelings, much less being afraid of them. Especially Inu Yasha, who was so devoted to his mate.

His honesty couldn't be repaid with reticence, and maybe-Maybe he would understand. Maybe he was the only person that could understand.

"It wasn't just you and Kikyo, you know," She admitted. "It was everything. Mom lost dad when I was little. I remember what it was like for her, trying to smile for us even though she'd been crying, how hard it was for her to talk about my dad. The jewel was created from unrequited love that went-Bad, I guess. Naraku went insane because of it. You and Kikyo suffered for it. And yeah," She admitted. "Loving you was never painless. But it wasn't just you and Kikyo. It was everything."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

It was on the tip of her tongue to say 'it's okay'. It might absolve him of guilt, but it would be ignoring the truth. He'd hurt her. And she'd hurt him when she'd vanished, only to reappear centuries later. It didn't matter that they'd been young, that their options had been bad and worse. They'd been kidding themselves to pretend that their pasts were over and done with. She'd been kidding herself to think she'd completely made peace with it.

"I'm sorry I left you," She told him, throat tightening around the words. Even though she hadn't wanted to, even though she hadn't been given a choice, she'd still disappeared and he'd suffered for it.

Inu Yasha carefully slid an arm over her shoulder, taking care not to put any weight on it. Kagome leaned into him, exhausted but elated to feel comfortable doing so. Safe. Inu Yasha was safe again, their equilibrium reasserting itself. It was more than what they'd had since he'd come back into her life, and she'd come back into his. Maybe it was more than they'd ever had.

"I really love him," She confessed later. It felt dangerously like freedom, saying what she was sure everyone knew. But saying it to Inu Yasha gave it weight, made it feel like the past months hadn't occurred in a vacuum.

"I know you do," Inu Yasha sighed, leaning his chin on her head.


	75. National Sarcasm Awareness Month

"Let me die," Kagome groaned into the couch cushion. Yasha made a groaning noise that sounded suspiciously like an agreement. She glared down at him only to be ignored, the dog not even bothering to look in her direction. She didn't blame his namesake. She didn't. Even if they had become fast friends.

"What's the problem?" Souta asked, not even bothering to look at her, just as their dog hadn't. His hands were busy tuning his guitar, and Kagome envied him the movement. She'd been looking at exercises for her shoulder and planning for physical therapy already, doing what little her doctor had approved. It wasn't enough.

"I don't have a costume for the benefit," She grumbled, watching him turn a peg before strumming again, then stilling the strings and turning the peg another fraction. What she would give to be able to open a bottle of water without hugging it between her thighs, and the resulting splash on her slacks. Several hours of typing and trying to navigate her desk made her recall (with no small sense of envy) Sesshoumaru stealing other people's functioning arms. She didn't want to think about what it might have said about her emotional health.

"Can't you go get one?"

"Most of the stores are stripped, and I can't find anything that works with my sling." Everything she'd looked at would have looked utterly ridiculous with it, and she didn't want to look, much less feel, ridiculous for her first benefit. The looks the store employees had given her hadn't helped at all, even the ones trying to be helpful. Actually, the helpful ones might have been worse, some of their suggestions above and beyond depressing.

"Have mom overnight one of the shrine outfits," Souta suggested. "With a little bit of makeup, you can make it look like you just got through kicking youkai ass. Throw a little fake blood on the sling and a few bruises and you can pretend you're something out of a legend. You know, like you are," He added, giving her a smarmy grin.

"Isn't Halloween about pretending to be someone else?" She mumbled, liking the idea even less than some of the costumes she'd discarded. Which was saying something. The past year had proven how much of a screw up she was, the consequences of her mistakes only seeming to compound on themselves instead of getting any better. Why would she want to be herself when she was obviously so bad at it to begin with?

"If that's your thing. I always thought it was about showing the world what you really are."

"By dressing up?"

"Yeah. You like monsters? Be a monster," Souta told her, sounding far too invested in the idea. "If you like stories about princesses, be a princess. Want to be a musician, go as a musician. Why would you want to pretend to be something else when you can be your real self, you know? Like the parts of yourself you hide from other people, or the dreams you don't talk about."

It was a far more philosophical spin on Halloween than she'd ever considered. Eri's outlook wasn't necessarily more shallow, but she wasn't sure if she liked it as much as her brother's theory. Or maybe she still blamed being 'her opposite' for all of her troubles. Then again, if she hadn't pretended, she wouldn't have gained her friends, her pack. Both options had their merits. She just wasn't sure which, if either, she preferred. Halloween just seemed to be a wash. Or maybe she was putting too much thought into it. A holiday shouldn't inspire an identity crisis.

"You always dressed as a ninja," She reminded her brother, shoving her personal feelings back into the box they'd come out of.

"I wanted to be a ninja," He reminded her. "But you see what I mean, right?"

"I'm not a miko anymore."

"I don't think that kind of thing stops just because you say it does, does it?"

Which posed an interesting question, reminding her of her supposed 'title'. What was she in the grand scheme of things? A miko or a student? Would she always be 'the shikon miko', an abstract as much as the jewel had become, or had she actually left it behind for her life such as it was? She still had her powers, had even used them. Others had taken note of her as a priestess, but did it mean anything?

Did she want it to?

"Maybe," Kagome sighed. "Existentialism doesn't help me find a costume though." And it definitely wasn't going to do her any good to worry about whether it was right to dress up as a miko or not. It was just a costume.

"Think about it. Besides, can't hurt to have a backup in case you don't find anything else."

He had a point.

"And you won't kill yourself at the venue if you're wearing something simple," He added. "Shippou said he'd come down for it too. It might be a laugh to see you dressed as a miko."

Kagome nodded, guilt gnawing at her conscience. The venue. His show. The show she was still trying to figure out how to make, her promise a constant weight on her mind.

"Yoichi and Issei are helping me. We've gotten pretty good together."

Which explained why he'd been gone more often than not lately. Kagome shuffled closer to Yasha, his warmth doing nothing to dispel her anxiety. The conversation seemingly at an end, Souta went back to tuning his guitar.

Kagome watched, unsure if it was out of guilt or envy. Souta's movements were steady, sure. Souta was so certain of himself sometimes she couldn't help but envy him. He was a musician, and on Halloween he wouldn't be pretending to be anyone, he'd be himself in the truest sense of the word.

And she might miss it to play a part she wasn't sure she wanted anymore, wasn't sure she'd ever really wanted.

–


	76. Halloween

"What are you going as tonight?" Toyama asked, snapping the clasps on his briefcase.

She hadn't realized it would be so difficult, getting through the day, working like everything was normal. A year of ups and downs was catching up to her, making her feel like she'd lost her balance somewhere in the course of the day. It hadn't been so bad waking up. It had crept slowly, little things that only reinforced how much had changed. Sesshoumaru's absence felt worse, somehow. Even her brother had been quiet at breakfast, though she didn't know if it had been in deference to her mood or because of the prospect of his first show.

"A miko," Kagome said, shrugging her shoulder. "Nothing else seems to work with the sling."

"It fits with the theme," He added in a light voice. Kagome tried to smile and failed. Toyama continued on, undaunted or oblivious. "Perhaps we can find you an illicit love tonight."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Kagome told him, gritting her teeth. "I'm not one of the miko from the poems."

"It would be memorable though," Toyama laughed. "I'll see you tonight Kagome."

"Yes sir."

He kindly held the door for her before locking up. She took his distraction as a chance at a head start, determined to get away and to get some breathing room before being subjected to anymore talk about the jewel story, the benefit, or money.

It was chilly outside, and there were orange and black decorations everywhere. She passed any number of people in costumes, headed to one place or another. The bus stop was quiet, the only people there dressed casually or in suits. Kagome blended in with them and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling free for a moment.

The bus was a mishmash of people, some in everyday clothes and others affecting personas, their annoyance and anticipation mingling and making her fidget.

When the bus stopped near her house, she practically lunged out, needing fresh air and distance from the excited chatter and the costumes. Even the cold reaching into her throat felt like a blessing, a reprieve from everything she still had to do.

Yasha greeted her at the door, tail sweeping back and forth.

"One second," She promised, dropping her backpack at the door. "I swear I will walk and feed you in just a minute."

One minute turned to five, five to ten and she was still sitting on the couch. Yasha trotted over, ears tilted back.

"Leash," She sighed, pushing herself back up to her feet. Yasha's claws clicked on the floor in the kitchen then went quiet on the carpet. Kagome took the leash from his mouth and clipped it onto his collar. When they got outside, she followed his lead, letting him control where and how far they walked.

Even though Yasha was leading her back to the house, she couldn't remember the walk.

"Get it together," She bit out, immediately contrite when the dog slunk down next to her feet, ears down. "Sorry boy. Ignore me. I'm just being-" Crazy. She was acting like she'd lost her mind. And it felt that way, a little bit; like she'd lost her handle on everything and it had burned through her, leaving a mess behind.

She fed the dog and gave him an extra scratch before going back to her room and closed the door behind her. The red and white wool of the priestess outfit greeted her, laid across the bed.

"I won't even be able to tie it," She huffed, frustrated. It hadn't even crossed her mind that she'd need help tying the relatively simple knots. Souta was already out with his friends, preparing for his show.

Shippou might be able to help her. Even more, he might drop her off so she could avoid the bus. She'd mingle and smile like Toyama had instructed-

And miss her brother's first show. Even if she stayed for an hour, Souta's set would be done by the time she arrived. She'd checked every possible route, done all the math with no solution.

Her future could easily be riding on her behavior at the benefit. She'd heard enough stories to know the slightest misstep could easily end in catastrophe. At the least, her reputation and relationship with her boss were riding on it. She could lose her job, lose her projects, be delegated back to nothing but a student scrabbling for another chance.

Accepting defeat, she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and started scrolling through numbers.

* * *

The venue was a mad tangle of people and conversations, smoke and the tang of beer. The stage was dark, the outlines of stagehands moving back and forth, readying for the next act. It was a small place crammed to the brim, bodies jostling one another. In affect, it was a minefield, her shoulder flaring in protest as she tried to navigate the crowd, pushing past people and muttering apologies as she got closer to the stage.

The next fifteen minutes were unbearable, the air almost too thick to breathe and bodies pressing her forward, into the stage itself. It wasn't until she yelped that someone noticed her sling and shouted at other people to give her some space. Unexpected, what little space she'd been allowed offered her just enough room to inhale without feeling the oppressive weight of all the people behind her.

Souta walked onto the stage with two other men, both a little older than him. The lights went on, making her blink spots away even as he began introducing himself. She offered a wave and a bright smile. His smile was practically blinding, his excitement a palpable thing that made the crowd and the pain worth it. She mouthed 'good luck' and a thumbs up.

The set started, and for the first time since he'd arrived on her doorstep, she got to hear him really play. It wasn't at all like when he practiced or sang under his breath. Kagome knew the difference, could see it in how he held himself, his eyes focused on something beyond the crowd. The sound system wasn't the best, and it was obvious the lighting was more about looking complicated than it was trying to fit the music, but her brother and his friends seemed oblivious to it. It was her brother's sound, the one he called his. It did him justice, hinting at the man he was becoming, the way he saw the world.

Sometime into the second song, she felt an arm drape across her shoulder. When she looked up, she saw Shippou, sans disguise, focused on the stage. People were cheering and she would swear the floor was bouncing beneath her feet. Smiling, she leaned into his side and listened to her brother playing, the floor beneath her echoing the beat his friend tapped out.

When the set finished, her ears were ringing and she was squinting against the bright lights. Shippou leaned down and said something that was lost to the residual echo, and then she felt herself being lifted up. Souta and the keyboardist both came forward to help steady her. The lights went out and Souta was hugging her middle and lifting her off of the wooden stage.

"You were here the whole time," He said, looking like she was his personal miracle.

"You were amazing," She promised him, eyes stinging. "All of you," She added, looking over at Souta's friends. Or was it band? She couldn't even remember their names.

Shippou and Souten came up on either side of her brother, smiles fanged in the dim light. Her family.

"Off the fucking stage," A stagehand snapped as he walked by, wires tangled in his hands.

"Oi!" Souten bit out.

"Come on," Souta laughed, letting her down and gesturing towards the side of the stage. Between her brother and Shippou, she was practically carried down the stairs and through a black velvet curtain. Backstage was smaller than she'd thought it would be, several people crammed into the tiny space.

"Good show dude," Someone said in passing, drumsticks held in a loose fist.

"Thanks," Souta said, not even looking at them. He was still looking at her like she was his personal miracle. "You're not in costume."

"Too hot for a venue," Kagome heard herself saying. "You did really well," She told him again. "I'm proud of you."

No one asked about the benefit, and she said nothing about it. Souta's friends took their time to introduce themselves before vanishing through the curtain. It got to a point Kagome could tell her brother was anxious, and she gave him a quick one armed hug before stepping back and jerked her chin at the curtain.

"Go celebrate, you've earned it."

If she hadn't understood, she would have been offended by his bald relief. As it was, her shoulder was throbbing and she was exhausted.

"Love you sis," He told her, pecking her forehead. "Thanks again."

"Love you too. Be safe!" She added, raising her voice in a futile hope to be heard over the rising swell of music from the front.

Shippou and Souten guided her to the back exit and into relatively fresh air. The alley smelled of any number of things, the smokers lining the walls being the least of it. She didn't try to speak until they emerged onto the sidewalk.

"He's really good," Souten observed. "A great lyricist too."

"Poetry must be in the Higurashi genes," Shippou joked, tossing an arm over his mate's shoulder. "It was a good show though. The crowd was a bit young for my tastes."

"You're six hundred years old," Kagome mocked. " _I'm_ younger than you."

"And that is why time travel is so hilarious," Shippou said aloud. "You guys feel like doing anything?"

"I was going to head home," Kagome told them. "My bed sounds like a wonderful idea."

"We can give you a ride-" Shippou began.

"You two go have fun. I'll be fine."

"Mom-"

"I'm fine," She repeated firmly. "It's Halloween. Go find a restaurant or a costume contest or something. Play pranks on the locals. It's Halloween. You're a kitsune and a thunder youkai. There is no better time for you guys to be out."

"Kagome," Souten began, looking torn.

"I defeated Naraku and survived Inu Yasha's ramen withdrawals. I'll be fine riding the bus. Go have fun."

"At least let us walk you to the bus stop," Shippou argued. Kagome felt an unbidden surge of triumph at their capitulation and nodded.

Shippou and Souten chattered about their upcoming showings and plans to travel. Kagome listened with half an ear, content to bask in the ease of their conversation. She'd have plenty to deal with the next day. It was enough to enjoy the moment.

They both hugged her goodbye and promised to stop by the next morning. Kagome rolled her eyes and scoffed while they waited outside of the bus, waving and watching until it pulled back onto the road.

The streets were dark by the time she got off at her stop. The driver wished her a happy Halloween before pulling away with a hiss and thrum. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and she wished she'd reconsidered Shippou's offer. Each hurried step jarred her shoulder and hit the ground sidewalk with a quiet slap of rubber on concrete.

There was a car in her driveway.

"You weren't at the benefit," Sesshoumaru said from his spot on the front hood. Kagome watched him unfold his legs and slide down, all graceful angles and designer suit. He'd forgone the bracelet, his white hair and facial markings standing out despite the scant moonlight pressing through the clouds. It was startling to realize she hadn't seen him as himself since she'd left Tokyo.

"Souta's first show was tonight," She answered dumbly. "Are you okay?"

"I was worried," He admitted, frowning. "I tried to call."

Kagome felt her face heating up. "I left my phone here."

Sesshoumaru didn't ask why, and Kagome felt too awkward to volunteer the information. "Do you want to come in?"

For a moment, she was sure he would say no. He looked from his car to the door, obviously debating it.

"Yes."

He followed her to the door and inside, unnervingly quiet and tense. Kagome flipped on the lights and gave Yasha and absentminded scratch when she passed the couch.

"I'll be out in a minute," She mumbled, the atmosphere thick and heavy. Something was wrong. Sesshoumaru stood in the center of her living room, glancing around and seeing nothing. Fleeing to her room, she took care to close the door softly.

It had become habit to speak aloud, to Souta, to herself, even to Yasha. Habit became frustrating, words jumbling inside of her head, not a single thought coherent enough to calm her nerves. Moving awkwardly, she took her time changing out of her sweater and toeing off her shoes and socks.

Several deep breaths did nothing to steady her nerves.

When she walked back out, Sesshoumaru had discarded his jacket and stood, hands in his pockets. Feeling unsure of herself and hating herself for feeling that way, she pulled one of the baggies off of the fridge, ignoring the one with the painkillers entirely. Even though he remained silent, she could feel him watching her, gaze boring into her back.

"How is your shoulder?" He asked as she put her glass in the sink.

"A little sore," She answered honestly, walking into the living room. "There were a lot of people at the show."

"Hnn."

It wasn't much to go on, and Kagome groped for words, something to dispel the awkward silence. "Souta did really well though. I think it'll help, having the first one behind him. The crowd loved him."

"I'd thought the benefit was important to you," Sesshoumaru declared, changing the subject completely. It didn't sound like an accusation, or even a question. It made figuring out the right answer that much more difficult.

"My priorities changed."

At that, Sesshoumaru stilled, as though he had been moving to begin with. It was an abrupt, striking change though, his expression going blank.

Moving with clumsy feet, she walked around the couch and sat down, waiting for some sign that it was okay to speak, for some hint at what was safe to talk about. But Sesshoumaru remained still, offering nothing.

"Did I do something wrong?" She finally asked, ignoring the sense that the wrong words could send him bolting out the door.

"No," He told her, shaking his head. The motion rippled through him, a statue breathing again. Kagome didn't comment when he ignored the couch in favor of sitting on her coffee table, facing her. "Toyama told me about the shrine's version of the story."

"No doubt he was very proud of it," Kagome said, not entirely successful at keeping the resentment out of her voice.

"He wasn't," Sesshoumaru chuckled, lips tilting up in the hint of a smile. "He apologized for the obvious feminine touches. His assistant is sentimental, apparently."

"She might be," Kagome admitted with a smile, resentment dying a quick death in the face of his amusement.

"It would explain your absence tonight. He tried calling you, several times in fact. I heard increasingly frantic and angry voicemails being left."

"It's why I left my phone here," She admitted with a shrug. "I didn't want him to ruin Souta's show, and if I'd taken it, I would have been checking it."

"Did you even tell him you weren't coming?"

"I tried calling, but he didn't answer, so I left a voicemail."

"No wonder he was upset."

"I'll deal with it tomorrow," She told him, waving a dismissive hand. Tomorrow she might lose her position as his assistant. At the very least, she was going to get yelled at. But as if her decision had liberated her, she couldn't make herself care about the next day, or Toyama, or funding or even the projects. Tomorrow seemed so far off. Her brother's concert, Shippou and Souten's glee, even Sesshoumaru made it easy to ignore 'tomorrow' in favor of enjoying the night.

"You weren't in costume," Sesshoumaru said, breaking the quiet lull that had settled between them.

"Souta said that Halloween can be about showing the world who you really are," She murmured. "I took it to heart."

"I feel as if we're dancing around what we want to say," Sesshoumaru declared in a quiet voice. "And neither of us will say anything."

"We're both afraid of upsetting each other," She said, her lips twisting into a wry smile. "I thought I was being fearless tonight."

"Caution has it's place among friends."

"But fear doesn't," She told him, meeting his gaze. He was staring, searching. In all the time they'd spent together, she'd ignored what that gaze could mean, and it was only then that she understood what he was looking for. "I was afraid of being in love. I was afraid of losing myself again, of holding it in and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was scared of losing everything again, of how much it hurt. Even though you made it so easy to-" She paused, her throat thick around the words. "You made it easy to fall in love with you. And I was afraid of that, too."

"And tonight?"

"I'm not entirely unafraid," She told him, the answer as honest as everything else she'd said. She was afraid, was sure he could hear her heart thudding against her ribcage. "The moral wasn't to be fearless."

"What was it?"

"That it's always worth it anyway."

Sesshoumaru moved fluidly, his hand reaching out, bridging the distance between them until he was cupping her cheek. The pointed tip of a claw rested on the soft angle of her cheekbone, grazed the line of her scalp. She leaned into his palm, savoring the warmth.

"I love you," She said, her lips curving into a smile. No metaphors or allegories, no poetry. "I am in love with you."

Sesshoumaru's thumb rubbed the line of her cheekbone, his hand smoothed down to her neck and tugged her forward. Kagome let herself be pulled, still smiling even when their lips finally touched. It was a light kiss, a press of lips and little more. Kagome leaned against him, felt the corners of his lips tilting up against her own, his exhalations mixing with hers.

"The cabinets reminded me of you."

"Hmm?" She hummed, feeling the vibration thrum over her lips to his. Sesshoumaru leaned back, meeting her gaze.

"The cabinets. They reminded me of you."

"You remodeled the kitchen?" She huffed, smiling at him.

"You moved hundreds of miles away," He reminded her in a flat voice.

"I really liked that stain," She told him, unable to keep her smile from turning into a grin.

"Araki won't mind the work," Sesshoumaru rumbled, leaning forward again. The implications weren't lost on Kagome, the promise inherent in the joke terrifying and stunning and exhilarating all at once.

The kiss was a question, asking permission. Kagome pressed forward, tongue sweeping out against his. Warm and dizzy, she kept kissing him, stealing breath from the sighs that echoed between their lips.

The moment came to an abrupt end when his hand moved to rest on her shoulder, inciting a fresh wave of pain and making her hiss against his chin.

"Romantic, huh?" She groaned, pulling back.

"You didn't take your pill."

"I wanted a clear head."

"Stubborn miko," Sesshoumaru huffed, getting to his feet. Kagome watched him walk away, heard him moving around in her kitchen. He returned a moment later with a glass of juice and half a pill in hand. Kagome dutifully took the pill and drained the glass, setting it on the coffee table and letting him pull her to her feet.

"Stay tonight?"

"I won't leave," He promised. She took his hand and guided him back to her bedroom. Yasha followed them, weaving around their legs and jumping up on the bed, turning twice and settling at the foot. Kagome laughed at Sesshoumaru's critical eye. She got onto the bed, amused at watching the pair. Sesshoumaru finally gave in and got in next to her, taking care with her shoulder as he settled in.

"It's been a year," She observed, rubbing Yasha's head with her foot.

"When I first saw you, I recognized you instantly," Sesshoumaru admitted, fingers tangling in her hair.

"Really?"

"Hnn. It was as if nothing had changed from our first meeting. You were angry and waving a sword around. I couldn't help but recognize you."

Kagome thought back, realized the irony of the situation. "I'm glad you stopped me."

"I am as well. I'm-" He paused, his fingers stilling. "When I realized what I felt for you, I thought it would be like it was before. Loving in silence is less complicated. Or I thought it was."

He didn't have to say names, but Kagome understood, wondered how much it had cost him to take a chance, what had spurred it, why she had been so special.

"I'm sorry I ran away."

Sesshoumaru made a thoughtful sound. "Perhaps it was something we both needed, so we could understand."

There were a plethora of things she could say to that, all of them meaningless. He was right, for all the hurt she'd inflicted, for what she'd endured, maybe they'd both taken things for granted before she'd left. Maybe the entire pack had, the past itself lost in the joy of her return to the fold.

"Souta thinks the moral is that the story doesn't end, it just changes."

"Your brother is uncommonly wise for a teenager."

"Never tell him that," Kagome yawned.

"You have my word," Sesshoumaru promised, lips brushing her forehead.


	77. All Saint's Day

"I set the kitchen on fire last time I tried this," Kagome reminded him as she gripped the skillet handle. His hand was closed over hers, keeping her grip tight. Cooking was incredibly awkward with only one functional arm. It was twice that with Sesshoumaru behind her, trying to show her how to flip an egg without breaking the yolk.

"We're making eggs, not using oil," He reminded her sternly.

The front door opened and Kagome heard Yasha bark. Several pairs of feet scuffled over the carpet and shoes dropped onto the floor.

"Sis!" and "Mom!" sounded out before the footsteps stopped. Kagome twisted in Sesshoumaru's arms and saw her her brother, Shippou and Souten staring.

"Who's hungry?"

"No one, if you burn it," Sesshoumaru rumbled into her ear. Kagome flushed and stuck out her tongue before letting his hand guide hers in trying to flip the egg. It turned a neat flip in the air before landing, the yolk unbroken. Perfect.

"So does this mean we can move?" Souta asked.

"Souta!" Kagome gasped, trying to turn. Sesshoumaru's arms tightened around her, keeping her in place.

"My kitchen is bigger," He murmured into her ear, the offer implicit. "I'm sure we can get Kirara too. She'd love Yasha."

"Only if I can bring my bed," She mumbled, flushing. He obviously knew how to get to her still, and she doubted he'd care to remain in her tiny little duplex. But moving in was a little frightening, even though they'd lived together before.

"It's a hotel."

"It's a handcarved bed that was made especially for me. I'm not putting it in storage," She countered, holding firm to her resolve.

Five minutes of light hearted quibbling (she was winning) and Sesshoumaru's phone rang. He untangled himself from around her long enough to retrieve it from his jacket. Kagome slipped the finished eggs onto one of the waiting plates. Sesshoumaru frowned after answering before taking the phone from his ear and switching it to speakerphone.

"I knew you two would pull your heads out of your asses!" Inu Yasha crowed, his voice tinny through the speaker.

"Inu Yasha!" Tala's voice shouted over the phone. "Language!"

"You're just mad I won the bet," He chortled. "So when's the wedding?"

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome sputtered. Her brother, Souta, and Souten weren't even attempting to hide their laughter.

"Oh come on," The hanyou growled over the phone. "Like you two are going to let each other out of your sights now. It was pathetic before. Now it's just going to be sickening."

"I suppose it's good you're on another continent," Kagome muttered, thanking all of the deities that he wasn't nearby to taunt them in person. Gods, that would have been awful.

"Hey Sesshoumaru, you know what this means?" Inu Yasha demanded, sounding positively manic. Gleefully so.

"What?"

"You're going to have hanyou pups. They'll look like me," Inu Yasha taunted.

Kagome watched Sesshoumaru walk to the sink and set the phone in. "Goodbye brother, enjoy your day." He turned on the faucet and Inu Yasha's taunts were shorted out.

"You're going to have to tell mom too," Souta reminded her, face still red from laughter. "At least she likes Sesshoumaru. And grandpa will. Eventually."

"He did go light on the ofuda last time I saw him," Sesshoumaru rumbled, expression more dour than the comment had hinted at.

"So," Kagome said, face burning. "When do we tell your mom?"

Sesshoumaru made an annoyed sound.

"We can let Eri do it," She suggested, smirking.

"That sounds acceptable." His voice rumbled with laughter, and she found herself joining in.

–


End file.
